Chapter 31: What Do You Think I'm Selling in My Gourd?

"Hmph, hmph, as expected, they didn't all return together. That brat is still in the Settlement Space, earning points for your Bureau of Anomalies." Tu Tu Xing Sun said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

Shi Gandang beside him retorted, "How much do you think he managed to grab?"

Their memories naturally stopped at the moment Principal Wang crushed them into fresh watermelon juice.

They knew nothing about the subsequent events after school.

"Regardless of the cap, at least he has one common item; if he's lucky, maybe even a normal Rare item," He Yikan said, seemingly unconcerned.

But his tone was full of unwillingness.

As the first one eliminated, she naturally felt a thousand helplessnesses and a surge of anger in her heart.

She was clearly the player closest to the truth from the very beginning! She had learned about the Black Room and other matters before anyone else, yet ended up returning empty-handed.

Who could accept that?

The three of them were now guarding near the flowerbeds of the teaching building; no matter where a new disturbance arose, they would be the first to know.

Chen Baili stood at the school gate, a cigarette dangling from his lips, watching them with a blank expression.

Swish—

The next second, a tree on the outermost edge of the campus shook violently, as if something had landed on it.

The three exchanged glances and immediately rushed over.

From a distance, they saw the pitch-black bulletproof vest, and the strange assortment of items at his waist—a peach wood sword, a cross, garlic—clinking against each other.

Wei Wang Ren! It was him!

"Hehehe, kid, you..."

Crack—

Tu Tu Xing Sun's sinister smile froze instantly on his face.

Because that strange sound was the other party pulling something from his lower back that reflected a metallic sheen, cocking the safety, and aiming it right at his head.

"Laugh, why aren't you laughing?"

"Do you just naturally dislike smiling?"

"Or does seeing my old friend—the M1911 Eagle Brand Smith & Wesson—make you unable to smile?"

Wu Wang approached them step by step with an even more mocking grin, making everyone feel a chill down their spines and breaking out in cold sweat.

Indeed, it was true that they were higher-level players and possessed more items and equipment.

But this was a handgun!

Spiritual Disaster players are not gods.

They were still flesh and blood; as long as they were carbon-based lifeforms, they could not ignore the power of firearms.

Even if there truly were Spiritual Disaster players who had reached a state where their bodies could resist bullets, it absolutely could not be a bunch of level five or six trash like them.

"Calm down! Brother Wang, calm down!"

Chen Baili jumped out from the side to block between them, the cigarette in his mouth already half-burnt.

To this, Wu Wang simply raised an eyebrow and asked, "What? Are you tempted too and planning to join them in attacking me?"

Upon hearing this, the others shook their heads repeatedly.

Especially Tu Tu Xing Sun, who was being pointed at by the gun, his lips moving at lightning speed: "No, no, no, misunderstanding, brother. We won't touch you; after all, the Bureau of Anomalies is covering for you now."

Having said that, he raised his hands and placed them where Wu Wang could see them to prove he had no intention of doing anything.

The other two did the same.

This bizarre behavior left Wu Wang, who was preparing to start a massacre, completely puzzled.

He turned his gaze to Chen Baili and asked, "Buddy, what's going on? Did you feed them aphrodisiacs? Why are they starting to talk nonsense?"

What necessary connection is there between aphrodisiacs and talking nonsense!?

Hearing this familiar teasing, Chen Baili tossed the cigarette to the ground, stepped on it to extinguish it, and spoke: "I told them that Brother Wang is already an unregistered reserve member of the Bureau of Anomalies. If they attack you, it is equivalent to provoking the Bureau of Anomalies; the consequence would naturally be being wanted, and at the very least, they wouldn't be able to survive within the country."

"For a common item, they aren't worth offending the Bureau of Anomalies."

This reason made Wu Wang laugh.

He rubbed his temples and retorted, "Do I look like an idiot? Or do they look like idiots? Does anyone believe such a hastily made-up excuse?"

Even a fool could see that he had no connection whatsoever with the Bureau of Anomalies.

Otherwise, Chen Baili would have teamed up with him to clear the instance from the very beginning.

This kind of excuse can't even fool a child, right?

"No, as long as you sign, this reason becomes true." Chen Baili flicked his wrist, and a contract appeared out of thin air, upon which a simple, unadorned image of a sharp sword was faintly engraved.

【Temporary Worker Contract】

【A document with powerful binding effects; both parties completing the transaction are forbidden from violating the contract content, otherwise the Spiritual Disaster Game will erase their player accounts.】

Wu Wang flipped it open with a blank expression.

The content inside was written in great detail, basically covering the duties both sides needed to fulfill when the Bureau of Anomalies recruited free players.

But as he kept flipping, his expression began to turn puzzled.

In the middle of this contract—was a plain white sheet of paper, a sheet of paper completely devoid of any information content.

At the same time, a message popped up in his field of vision—【Chen Baili #100100 requests to add you as a friend】

【Accept】

Wu Wang silently chose to accept.

He wanted to see what medicine Chen Baili was selling from his gourd!

"Brother Wang, I apologize; I had no choice but to resort to this desperate measure. Pretend to sign the contract, but actually write your name on the white paper; just make it look real enough to fool them."

"I don't want to take advantage of your situation to force you to join the Bureau of Anomalies; of course, if you have the willingness, we would warmly welcome you."

"By the way, you should know that our country has quite strict controls on firearm possession, right? Players of the Bureau of Anomalies are legally allowed to be issued guns."

The moment the friend request went through, a chat box immediately popped up with Chen Baili's message.

If everyone chooses not to make their information panel public, others definitely cannot see it.

So their chat content is completely in a safe state; the three people nearby know nothing about it.

They can only see Wu Wang thinking.

To be honest, Wu Wang really didn't expect Chen Baili to go this far.

In a sense, the other party's method is actually quite brilliant.

On one hand, it resolves his own crisis; on the other, it demonstrates a magnanimous, non-coercive attitude, making him feel goodwill toward the Bureau of Unusual Affairs.

I didn't expect Chen Baili to be selling woven crafts from his gourd!

If Wu Wang were an ordinary player, he might have truly chosen to join the Bureau of Unusual Affairs with tears in his eyes at this moment.

Unfortunately, he is not a normal player.

"Brother Chen Baili, I appreciate your intention, but the contract is unnecessary." Wu Wang smiled and handed the contract back, saying to the three free players with strange expressions: "Do you think you can easily take me down?"

"Then you must first find out who I am. Don't you think this current appearance is my true face?"

The moment the words fell, the face skin began to melt.

The entire body's figure also became tall and slender; even the position on the chest of the bulletproof vest gradually bulged, almost about to pop the buttons off.

Before everyone's dumbfounded eyes.

He transformed from a handsome-faced youth into a beautiful young woman; her hot figure paired with an exquisite, seductive face made it hard for anyone to forget at a single glance.

"Giggle, giggle, giggle. I have many more appearances here for you to choose from. Which one do you want to see?" Wu Wang's movements also became elegant and full of charm.

Even when smiling, she raised a hand to gently stroke her juicy, delicate lips; her hips slightly lifted, the pants outlining a perfect semi-circle, making the others so dry-mouthed.

However, before the crowd could reply.

Wu Wang's entire body almost instantly merged into the night; looking closely, it turned out his skin tone had become pitch black, looking exactly like a stowaway Negro.

Thick lips plus short hair with dreadlocks.

Black hands covered his mouth as he performed an impromptu B-BOX, even adding a line: "Yo yo yo, I'm a repper! S... Skr~"

Within just ten or so seconds.

The visual shock he brought to the crowd was simply more dumbfounding than the flashy moves inside the dungeon.

"This... what is this?"

"A prop? Or an equipment effect?"

"Damn! He never used his true face to communicate with us from the start!"

The three free players' faces became extremely aggrieved.

Originally, when they saw Wu Wang did not accept the Bureau of Unusual Affairs' invitation, the three of them had secretly rejoiced.

Their greatest reliance was actually having no scruples, and knowing Wu Wang's true appearance, they could dox this kid at any time.

Even if they really couldn't snatch his things face-to-face, later on, whether using his relatives and friends or everything he cherishes as a threat.

An old oil stick always has a way to deal with a greenhorn youth.

But now the balance of attack and defense has reversed!

The other party's face, or even gender, might be forged, but this face of ours is real!

Our doxing cannot lock onto a target.

The other party can hide in the crowd, find a way to change faces, investigate everything, then hide around our homes, or even replace our relatives and friends.

Not good! My floating log!

"Brother Chen Baili, rest assured. I am clear on the firearms management regulations, and how could a plain-clothed commoner like me get a real gun? If you don't believe me, look."

"These are all fake..."

Pssst—

The moment the words fell, Wu Wang pointed the gun in his hand at Chen Baili and pulled the trigger.

A stream of clear water shot out from the muzzle.

It sprayed the other party's shoes hard.

"Which factory made that damn water gun so realistic!" Chen Baili really couldn't hold back his laughter.

At the same time, he also breathed a sigh of relief.

Although the other party refused to join the Bureau of Unusual Affairs, his attitude now clearly shows he still has goodwill toward the Bureau and will not stand on the opposite side.

Forget it, not joining is fine.

As long as he doesn't become an enemy.

"I'm off! I'm going to use Moon Walk to find the One Piece! See you all later!"

The moment the words fell, Wu Wang leaped high into the air.

He stomped his foot again in mid-air.

Double jump in the air!

Immediately followed by a triple jump, quadruple jump...

The entire person gradually disappeared on the distant horizon line; it looked like the height had already exceeded most building floors.

Chen Baili turned his head to look at the three.

Just as he was preparing to tell them not to have any more ideas about the other party, he discovered that only Shi Gandang and He Yikan remained in front of him.

"It's bad! That bastard really dares!"

He suddenly raised his head, his eyes focusing.

【Eagle Vision】 activated!

Just in time to see Tu Tu Xing Sun's short figure appear beside Wu Wang in mid-air at some unknown time, his face ferocious as he pulled out a pale blue dagger.

Obviously this wasn't an ordinary blade.

It was most likely some kind of equipment or prop.

The quality probably wasn't high—looked like it was only 【Inferior】 grade at best.

But since the other guy had brought it out at this moment, at the very least he believed this thing could deal a fatal wound to Wu Wang!

That damned bastard really had no good intentions!

Everything in that gourd was poison!

"Since I can't settle the score with you later… then I'll just take you out now, alright? Hahahaha!" Tu Tu Xing Sun laughed wildly.

Setting that aside, just the equipment or prop that had been constantly changing his build and appearance earlier was already at least fine-grade quality.

He could tell that wasn't an illusion—it had truly altered his build and appearance! That was a good item!

He'd kill the man and take his treasure right now.

Then use that thing to hide himself in the crowd!

He'd basically picked up a huge bargain!

Bang—

A tremendous boom echoed through the air.

The smile was still on Tu Tu Xing Sun's face, but a through-hole that you could see daylight through had already appeared on his forehead—he was clearly dead beyond any doubt.

"Wuhu! A Kennedy-style headshot!"

Wu Wang laughed cheerfully.

His right hand was still holding that water gun that looked like a Smith & Wesson made by the Eagle Sauce M1911.

But his left hand had somehow produced a shabby-looking thing that didn't look like standard-issue, but rather like a homemade Kalashnikov.

As for where this thing had come from.

Wu Wang actually had quite a story to tell.

He could only say that before becoming a Calamity Player, he had already quietly made it and stashed it away; it was just that now that he had a player backpack, it was much more convenient to carry.

The reason he hadn't used it in the instances was mainly because force couldn't solve the problems of Gaoshan Middle School, and he hadn't had time to sort out the suppressor issue—this thing was too loud and would easily make him a target for everyone in the instance.

"What do you think I was selling in my gourd?"

"What I was selling was gunpowder!"