Chapter 4: Joking

"So, I, the Battalion Commander who manages money, came here to negotiate a deal with you."

There are ten Battalion Commander offices in the Embroidered Uniform Guard, corresponding to ten official Battalion Commanders. A Battalion Commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard is a fifth-rank official. By rights, an Embroidered Uniform Guard at Li Miao's level should appear in cases involving the raiding and extermination of high-ranking imperial officials or major local sects.

For someone like Yan Xiaosheng—to put it nicely, the leader of the capital's underworld; to put it bluntly, a white glove—sending a Battalion Commander to handle him was giving him too much credit.

So when Yan Xiaosheng heard Li Miao say he wanted to negotiate a deal, his eyes lit up.

If the Embroidered Uniform Guard were here for him personally, he would have no chance of survival. But if they were still wary of the people behind him and wanted to make a deal, maybe he could save his life.

Of course he didn't want to die. If he could negotiate, he could bargain; maybe his life could be negotiated too.

But Li Miao waved his hand, directly dispelling his calculations: "Don't overthink it, you're definitely going to die."

Yan Xiaosheng's eyes dimmed, and it was a long time before he spoke: "If I'm going to die either way, what's the point of talking?"

He had already given up on fantasies and no longer maintained respect in his speech.

He was just waiting for Li Miao to show a flaw so he could move to subdue this weary-looking Battalion Commander.

Whenever internal energy reaches a certain level, one is naturally full of spirit, and before the energy is exhausted, the strength is endless; one wouldn't easily show weariness. Seeing Li Miao's weary face, it was either that his cultivation wasn't good enough, or his state was wrong.

His Wu Gong was at the level of a first-rate expert in the Jianghu; maybe he could really take Li Miao hostage and use that to escape the capital.

As long as he escaped the capital, the world was vast; he could find a place to hide, and after a dozen years, change his name and still live well with his Wu Gong.

"Listen to me finish." Li Miao lowered his head and took a sip of wine, not even looking at Yan Xiaosheng. It seemed he hadn't noticed at all that Yan Xiaosheng's muscles were tense and his energy was circulating, ready to fight for his life.

"We have official business in a while, and we're short-handed, so those of us who usually stay in the capital have to go down and take a walk."

"Before we leave, the Commander's meaning is to kill off the ones who are sticking their heads out in the capital first, so that when everyone is gone, you don't cause trouble again."

"Leader Yan, you are the most eye-catching one. But we, the ones doing the work, investigated and found you serve a few too many people. Raiding your house and digging up some big shots wouldn't look good."

"I just mentioned that this matter still has to fall on you, and as a result, I was forced into a corner and sent to talk to you."

Speaking of this, Li Miao frowned, seemingly very dissatisfied with being sent to do this. The Embroidered Uniform Guards guarding behind him saw this and signaled to each other, secretly laughing.

Their Battalion Commander was good at everything—capable, high Wu Gong, literate and martial.

It was just that he only had energy for four hours a day; after that time, he would immediately look like he hadn't slept for three days and couldn't open his eyes, and he wouldn't do any work no matter what. If the Commander hadn't spoken personally and smashed a teacup, even the Vice Commander probably couldn't have ordered him around.

If it weren't for this lazy illness, he probably would have been a Vice Commander or even a Deputy Commander long ago.

"It's like this, I can let you live for three more days." Li Miao said to Yan Xiaosheng nonchalantly: "In these three days, you go and explain to your masters yourself, give them the money that should be given. As for the rest, find someone to pack it up and send it to us."

"This way, we don't have to bargain with your masters, and your masters don't have to be afraid of us digging up anything, isn't that a win-win for everyone?"

"And then?" Yan Xiaosheng asked through gritted teeth.

"And then?" Li Miao glanced at him: "Then you just die."

"Die suddenly in your own home. Remember to die miserably to scare those who haven't stuck their heads out yet, which will also save me some effort."

"Fuck." Yan Xiaosheng was almost laughed at by anger: "You imperial hounds really don't like to speak like humans. You take all the advantages, and I have to obediently commit suicide, and I have to die miserably—what the fuck am I getting out of this!?"

"You can leave five taels of silver for that unborn child of yours, that's it." Li Miao spread his hands at him.

Just this one sentence made Yan Xiaosheng's face freeze, but the next moment he acted like nothing happened and looked at Li Miao strangely.

"I've never been married, nor have I ever had any children."

"You bought a geisha last month, didn't you? She's pregnant. Our people had a doctor check, guaranteed."

"When you die, we receive the money, and we'll give her five taels of silver and let her go." Li Miao said earnestly.

Yan Xiaosheng was silent.

His face changed back and forth, sometimes hesitant, sometimes crazy, but in the end, a ruthless look took over.

"Fuck your mother!"

He roared, his palms under the table shattered the tabletop, and he slammed them toward Li Miao's chest!

What geisha, what child—as long as he could live, what child couldn't he have in the future!?

Now he had to use the Wu Gong he had practiced for thirty years to earn a life! He had to know that his "Iron Palm Maitreya" reputation was built on piles of corpses!

At this moment, his peripheral vision swept over the Embroidered Uniform Guards standing around, guarding against them attacking together to save Li Miao. But those people were looking at their noses and hearts, not even moving, watching his palms approach Li Miao's chest.

Bang!

A muffled sound, and the palms printed onto Li Miao's chest.

Teng teng teng teng!

It was Yan Xiaosheng who flew backward, his feet constantly unloading force, each step shattering the bluestone floor, retreating until he hit the wall, causing the wall to vibrate and dust to fall.

Wah!

Yan Xiaosheng opened his mouth, and a mouthful of blood sprayed out. When he raised his head and exposed his chest, he saw a finger print on his chest, more than an inch deep—clearly, it had directly shattered his sternum.

And Yan Xiaosheng hadn't even seen Li Miao move!

At this moment, not only Yan Xiaosheng, but the remaining greenwood heroes in the room showed expressions of horror.

Yan Xiaosheng's Wu Gong could be called first-rate in the Jianghu. Don't think there are many first-rate experts in the Jianghu; as long as one is a first-rate expert, they are ranked in a region at least the size of a province. There aren't many such people in the world.

These greenwood heroes hadn't risen up when the Embroidered Uniform Guard sealed the door because they wanted to wait for Yan Xiaosheng to make a move, and then they would all attack together, which would give them a better chance of winning.

But in the blink of an eye, they hadn't even had time to circulate their energy and stand up, and the fight was over.

This couldn't even be considered a fight; it was a naked crushing.

To be able to shatter the sternum of a first-rate expert with a casual move, and then receive a palm strike and vibrate the opponent away—what terrifying level had this Embroidered Uniform Guard Battalion Commander, who claimed to have been a paper-pusher for twenty years, reached!?

Could even the masters of giants like Wudang and Shaolin do this?

A young Embroidered Uniform Guard sneered: "Humph! Does a mantis dare to block a chariot? Do you think the Embroidered Uniform Guard searches the world—besides our Battalion Commander, which other Battalion Commander has been able to sit steadily in the capital for twenty years?"

"As long as our Battalion Commander is here, even if seventeen or eighteen more madmen like you come, don't think about causing any trouble in this capital!"

"Stop, stop." Li Miao, who was patting his chest, waved his hand: "Stop bragging. I'm just too lazy to go out in the sun and rain, and my colleagues take care of me so I don't have to work hard. What blocking a chariot, what sitting steadily—you're giving me goosebumps."

After saying this, he cupped his hands at Yan Xiaosheng: "My subordinate is joking, Leader Yan, don't go out and spread rumors."

No one dared to take this as a joke.

Yan Xiaosheng coughed several times, spat out a mouthful of stagnant blood, and said dejectedly: "I've been scraping a living in this capital for over a decade, and I didn't even know there was a person like you."

"I've wasted forty years of my life, thinking my daily hard practice had achieved something. Today, seeing you, I know I was just a frog in a well."

He pointed to the indentation on his chest: "This finger broke my heart pulse. With my cultivation, I can only last three days. Was this also intentional?"

"Coincidence, coincidence." Li Miao said, tucking his hands into his sleeves.

Yan Xiaosheng was silent for a long time before speaking: "One hundred taels."

"Don't talk about the five or ten tael jokes. I don't want much more; give my child one hundred taels so he can have money to settle down, and I'll do as you say."

At this moment, his vitality was broken, and his only thought was to leave behind a legacy, so his attitude softened. A dying person, having lost the desire to live, could negotiate anything.

But Li Miao shook his head, clearly not joking: "Just five taels. Not a penny more."

"You!"

Yan Xiaosheng's angry expression appeared. He had been in business for many years; a cup of tea cost more than five taels of silver. When had he ever cared about such a small amount of money?

He thought this Embroidered Uniform Guard Battalion Commander was high-ranking and powerful, and the bribes he usually received would only be more than his, so he wouldn't care about the difference between one hundred taels and five taels. Was this intentionally humiliating him?

"Didn't I just say? You run brothels, underworld gangs, human trafficking, forced buying and selling."

"Not counting the ones you scammed, among the people you bought with money, I found a middle-range number." Li Miao spread his hands: "I didn't even count the children you bought by force for a penny or two. I'm following your rules, don't say I'm bullying you."

"This is also because that child of yours hasn't been born and hasn't enjoyed the blessings brought by your sins; otherwise, I would have directly sold him to a brothel as a pimp, and the selling price would also be five taels."

"Fair, right?"

"You!" Yan Xiaosheng's trembling finger wanted to point at Li Miao, but his hand dropped powerlessly halfway.

"Fine. Five taels it is." He lost his strength and sat down slowly along the wall.

"Deal!" Li Miao clapped his hands, stood up, didn't look at Yan Xiaosheng again, and walked straight out.

He walked to the two unconscious thugs who had disposed of the body, kicked them casually, and directly broke their necks.

The two thugs lost their breath immediately; fortunately, dying quickly could be considered a blessing.

The greenwood heroes in the room didn't dare resist and were locked up by several Embroidered Uniform Guards and escorted out.

Li Miao tucked his hands into his sleeves, walked out the door, and came to the sedan.

The young Embroidered Uniform Guard who had been bragging about him stepped forward to lift the curtain, and Li Miao climbed in, closed his eyes, and leaned back to rest.

Outside the sedan curtain, the young Embroidered Uniform Guard asked softly: "Battalion Commander, is that geisha really pregnant?"

"Pregnant with what? That Yan fellow has done all kinds of evil; he hasn't had a child in decades, how could it be such a coincidence that we caught it?" Li Miao said with his eyes closed: "Does a person like him even deserve to leave a legacy?"

The young Embroidered Uniform Guard scratched his head and smiled honestly: "You still have a way, Battalion Commander. How should we handle that geisha?"

Li Miao paused and said: "Let her go. When that Yan fellow sends the money, you go and take a little out to help her settle down; it can be considered helping her escape the sea of bitterness."

"Just give... one hundred taels."

"Yes." The young Embroidered Uniform Guard agreed, raised his hand to signal the troop to start the journey back to the Commandery. But he saw Li Miao lift the sedan curtain, his weary face becoming more obvious, his eyes too lazy to even open, his whole body slumped in the corner of the sedan, speaking lazily.

"You take the people back to report; I'm going back to sleep."

"Ah? Battalion Commander, but the Commander is still waiting for you..." The young Embroidered Uniform Guard said in a dilemma.

"Screw him. I only do four hours of work a day; I traded my life for this back then, and the Commander promised me personally. I've given him enough face today."

"If he's not happy, you go to my desk, under the paperweight, and take that note he signed back then and show it to him..."

As he spoke, Li Miao's voice grew lower and lower, mumbling: "I only work... eight hours a day..."

He had actually fallen asleep.

The young Embroidered Uniform Guard was helpless, but he knew that as long as his Battalion Commander was asleep, even setting off firecrackers in his ear wouldn't wake him. He had no choice but to give instructions to the sedan carriers, telling them to take Li Miao home.

He himself led the troop back to the Commandery to get scolded.

Leaving only the brightly lit wine shop, a few corpses, and Yan Xiaosheng waiting to die.

(End of chapter) ===== CHAPTER 5 =====