Chapter 616: I Am a Trained Professional — I Won't Laugh

My name is Chen Musheng, and I am a director.

To be precise, a director who specializes in action commercial films.

I have received multiple Best Director nominations at the Hong Kong Film Awards, and the films I have directed — whether by reputation or by box office — can be considered decent. I hold a certain standing in the entertainment circle, and on set I have always been meticulous and responsible.

My colleagues respect me, and the stars cooperate with me.

Before this year, the most difficult and also the biggest-name artist I had directed was Cheng Long; the 1998 release "Who Am I" was the start of our collaboration.

Working together again after so many years, I had assumed that Cheng Long — now an international superstar — would be the hardest actor to control on set. But never in my wildest dreams did I expect there to be experts still —

One Jiang Wen, one Zhou Yi.

One is a genius fellow director from the mainland; the other is a world-renowned music Heavenly King.

The two of them were clearly only here for cameos, yet somehow on set they bickered with the air of leading stars.

I don't understand, but I am deeply shaken.

I seriously suspect Zhou Yi is using his cameo in "New Police Story" to smuggle in personal business, but I have no proof.

Most importantly, Cheng Long even told me to relax, saying it was all for the good of the film and that I had to keep the big picture in mind.

Then he — who was supposed to be the peacemaker — joined in this battle over screen time as well.

"Would a big truck not work? Big is good! Big is king! Only big looks impressive! Uncle Long, don't you agree?"

"Ah-Yi's right."

"Using the car I modified to crash into me — you brat have been plotting this for a long time, harboring ill will. You even specially finished filming your MV ahead of time and lent the car over for Big Brother Cheng Long's emergency use. How are you so shameless? Back in the days of 'In the Name of the Father,' if I hadn't kept you in line, do you think your acting could be watched?

"Go ask Big Brother Cheng Long yourself — isn't this biting the hand that feeds you?"

"Old Jiang's right."

"……"

Cheng Long's fence-mending on both sides was, frankly, a bit hard to keep a straight face through.

As time went on, the cameo scenes in the script were revised more and more, more and more outrageously, until even the other actors in the crew could hardly hold back their laughter.

At this moment, Zhou Yi was like a petty man who'd gotten his revenge, the joy on his face not even acted;

Jiang Wen, on the other hand, was visibly heating up, denouncing Zhou Yi as an utterly inhuman piece of work.

It was like two children arguing over the sun — neither willing to yield.

Cheng Long, wedged right in the middle, became a Sha Monk-like repeater, adding quite a bit of comic relief.

"Are they really arguing?"

Wu Yanzu, who didn't know the full situation, quietly slipped into the Yinghuang faction's melon-eating group and asked in a low voice in his halting Chinese.

He had directed his fair share of films and had seen crews argue before.

But a crew that "argued" so harmoniously — this was his first time seeing it.

Not to look far — just take the currently bustling "Kung Fu" crew, the fights between Hong Jinbao and Zhou Xingchi were truly tearing faces apart; that was the normal way for a crew to argue.

But these two?

The argument somehow turned into a grievance session.

On this side, Zhou Yi shouted loudly, denouncing Jiang Wen's past inhumanity; on that side, Jiang Wen's voice thundered, despising Zhou Yi for not honing his acting and being unbearable to watch.

No exchange of technique — pure emotional output.

In short, translated, it was four big characters: I'm not wrong!

"They're arguing, but they're not arguing."

Among them, the youngest in age but most mature in mind, Cai Zuoyan, shook her head.

Jiang Wen she didn't know well, but Zhou Yi she knew inside out.

When Zhou Yi jokes around with you — even to the point of loud argument — it means he hasn't taken it to heart at all; he's simply "playing."

If Zhou Yi becomes extremely calm and starts laying out facts and reasoning methodically, then he's truly angry.

Because after the reasoning comes the physics.

Screenwriter Yuan Jinsen, on the contrary, became the one with nothing to do in the whole crew —

Originally, this cameo plotline only needed to serve as a flashback — as long as the core point of hitting someone to death and then Cheng Long taking responsibility didn't change, everything else could be altered however.

Yes, no matter how Jiang Wen struggled, this point would not change.

"Zhou Yi, you'll regret this!"

In the end, Jiang Wen — so angry his gums itched — finally lost face-to-face —

He couldn't out-talk him, really couldn't out-talk him.

Say what you will, Zhou Yi stood invincible simply by invoking the film's effect.

Having seized the moral high ground, any argument was a losing one.

The smug Zhou Yi was like a rooster after winning a fight, his cap worn backwards, striding along with magnificent swagger: "Come on, come on, hurry up, hurry up, get the protective gear on Jiang Wen."

"……"

"……"

"……"

For some reason, when he saw the props team swiftly strapping protective gear onto Jiang Wen, Chen Musheng suddenly really wanted to use his director's authority to teach Zhou Yi how this hit-and-run scene should be acted.

A director teaching a scene — perfectly reasonable, right?

"Ah-Yi, act a little tipsy. Remember, when you step on the brake you must show that extremely terrified expression, ok?" After personally checking everything once over, Cheng Long finally gave this piece of advice to Zhou Yi, who was stretching on the spot, eager to give it a try.

Jiang Wen, who had already been geared up nearby, couldn't help but glance over at the words: "Useless. With his level of acting, without someone keeping him in line and polishing it, there's no way he'll get it in one take. My suggestion is to still use a blurred treatment for this shot — don't try to do it in one continuous take."

"Who are you looking down on? If you're scared, go find a stunt double — I won't say anything."

Zhou Yi curled his lip disdainfully: "For the sake of filming the MV, I've received professional training, you know."

"Anyway, let's shoot one take first and see how it looks."

The mastermind behind this scene, Cheng Long, smiled as he patted both their shoulders, then immediately mobilized the entire film crew to begin shooting preparations.

Jiang Wen, who could effortlessly play a father role, instantly got into character the moment "Action" was called; not far away, Zhou Yi rubbed his hands together in anticipation, ready to spring into action at any moment—

"Cut!"

?

"Ah Yi, you're not playing a killer; why are you so excited? You're also in the shot. You're drunk-driving, not making that expression."

Cheng Long, standing behind the monitor, immediately stood up to call a halt, helplessly reminding him to pay attention to his character's image and state.

"..."

Zhou Yi pressed down on his hat, reached his right hand out the car window, raised his thumb, and gave the first praise of the day: "My bad, my bad. I got too excited and couldn't hold back."

Filming a proper movie really does have high requirements.

After taking a sip of beer to find a slightly tipsy feeling, Zhou Yi wiped the sweat on his forehead—faked with water droplets—using a towel. Once the signal was given, he slammed the accelerator, and the fully loaded semi-truck shot forward!

"Run! Run!"

In the shot, Jiang Wen, who had snatched two bags of toast bread from the convenience store, his face full of anxiety, screamed ferociously at the child playing his son standing directly across the street: "Run!"

Security guards who had rushed to the scene were already chasing from both ends of the street, and the truck's headlights had already lit up from not far away—

Before Jiang Wen, who had flipped over the obstacle, even landed, the blue heavy truck driven by Zhou Yi had already begun to brake hard!

"Bang!"

At the moment of collision, Jiang Wen, still airborne in the middle of the road, was flung outward under the control of the wire rig!

"Cut!"

As the director's voice fell, Jiang Wen, who had flown out of the frame and landed on the air cushion, rolled twice before grimacing, patting himself down, and standing up: "Damn it, I should have known better than to help you modify this truck."

Modifying the truck yourself only to have it crash into yourself—what kind of situation is this?

Fortunately, it should be a single take—

"Ah Yi, you can't laugh."

Cheng Long's sigh made Jiang Wen, who was just about to remove the wire rig, pause in his movements; he turned his head to look at the camera and slowly typed out a question mark: "?"

"I didn't laugh. I really didn't laugh."

Feeling his professional acting skills were being questioned, Zhou Yi immediately said, "I have received professional training; I absolutely will not laugh."

Then, he saw in the camera feed that at the moment of colliding with Jiang Wen, the corners of his mouth had risen without any concealment...

Looking happier than anyone else.

"Uh..."

Zhou Yi blinked; with the ironclad evidence before him, he could only add: "Unless I can't hold back."