Chapter 160: The Awful Battle-Suit Soul

Although it was a classic American joke format, not a single person present got the punchline; they all stared in shock at this uninvited guest.

"Where did this clown come from?" Eric asked with disgust.

Hank beside him said awkwardly, "Isn't this person from your island?"

"Believe me, if someone messed around like this on my turf, I'd definitely feed him to the fish," Eric said contemptuously.

The flamboyantly strutting clown Chao looked left and right while saying, "So this is the Mutant Reservation, huh? Quite an eye-opener. By the way, where's your casino?

"Mind if someone goes to gamble? I have no capital. If I lose, I can't pay up, but I can stay and perform clown acts. You just need to cover food and lodging."

This was a satire comparing Genosha Island to an Indian reservation. Magneto Eric couldn't stand such mockery and wanted to teach the intruder a lesson.

But that mouth didn't stop; it continued speaking:

"Looking at all this original, natural scenery here, you probably don't have many genetically modified foods, right? Eating too much of that stuff isn't good; do you know that?

"Whenever someone adds something extra to the mix, either the entire Earth turns into mutants, or all the mutants die out, not a single one left. Be careful.

"But this poverty-stricken look isn't without its benefits; those green environmentalists should come live in a place like this. Everything you eat and wear is grown by yourselves; in bad years, you go hungry, living an eco-friendly life without gasoline or electricity.

"Wait, that's not right. Many of your clothes aren't pure cotton, pure linen, or pure wool; they're all polyester. That's not eco-friendly at all. Or do you have a green petrochemical plant that can produce eco-friendly plastics?

"Better if you do, otherwise your evaluation in my heart will drop to the same level as that so-called European eco-girl. You still take planes and trains when going out, just refusing to ride bicycles everywhere to participate in air-conditioned room environmental speeches.

"At the end of the day, being eco-friendly is just for us poor people, right? Look at this place; it's truly thoroughly eco-friendly. If you ask me, everyone could be even more eco-friendly, couldn't they?

"Look, Genosha Island is located north of the Tropic, belonging to a tropical climate. And it's an island, dominated by humidity and heat. Actually, there's no need for everyone to wear so many clothes. Like some natives, a single leaf is enough, for men and women alike. You know what I mean."

While Clown Chao shook his forehead, the painted red eyebrows on his face twitched along. Although the face paint was so heavy that his actual appearance was almost unrecognizable, he could still give off a cheap, sneering expression.

Eric, who had originally wanted to teach the other person a lesson, decisively backed off. Why should a normal person argue with a lunatic about what the other should look like? It's like refusing to be human and insisting on going to bite dogs.

So Eric disbanded the team he had gathered, led the two designated followers, and went off to make battle preparations. For him, the most important thing was, of course, that mind-protection helmet. As long as Professor X didn't strike a black hand, he was almost invincible.

Seeing everyone run away, leaving nowhere for Hank to go, he became Clown Chao's sole target. He looked at the costumed clown before him with panic and suspicion, trembling as he asked, "Who are you?"

"Didn't you guys call me here?" Clown Chao hooked an arm around the human-form Hank McCoy and said, "Using the excuse of fighting aliens, you insisted I deign to come do such a trivial matter. Do you know I'm worth tens of millions of dollars every minute? I'm very busy."

"You are... Henry?" Hank said in surprise.

Clown Chao hooked Hank's neck and headed toward the X-Jet, saying, "No, no, no, there is no Henry, only Clown Chao. Just like you, Hank is Hank, Beast is Beast; are two names one person or two people?

"I am just a pot of mixed soup; there's a little bit of everything in the soup. A little bit of Chao, a little bit of crazy, a little bit of cowardly, a little bit of cheap, a little bit of scumbag, a little bit of pathetic, a little bit of crooked-ass, a little bit of everything.

"As for the main ingredient, of course it's water. I've already said it: water, you are like the ocean. Just blatantly padding the word count like this, do you think it will make people grit their teeth in hatred?

"By the way, you said we are going to fight aliens. Who exactly are we fighting? ET? I'm best at beating up kids; one punch and they don't make a sound; if they dare make a sound, keep beating them until they're silent. So you found the right person.

"Have you ever seen it? The Eighteen Styles of the Benevolent Father and Strict Mother. I learned them when I was young but never had a chance to use them. I don't have children myself, so it's perfect to practice on someone else's. They say why raise your own kids when someone else's are more fun. Don't you think?"

"Stop, stop, stop!" Finally finding a chance to interrupt and shout stop, Hank broke free from the arm hooking his neck and said, "Clown Chao, right? I get it, don't say another word. You go find a seat on the plane yourself. I need to prepare the takeoff procedures and must concentrate."

"OK, no talking." Clown Chao made a zipping motion across his lips, boarded the X-Jet, and plopped down right into the pilot's seat.

Seeing his seat occupied, Hank was dumbfounded and asked, "Do you know how to pilot the Blackbird?"

"Of course I do," Clown Chao said while pointing at the instruments and switches in front of him. "This is the landing gear handle, this is the takeoff button, this is the automatic reverse-parking switch, this is the knob for adjusting broadcast channels.

"And this one, my favorite, the airplane's steering wheel, right? Let me think, it should be inverted up-down and left-right. So turning left makes it fly right, and turning right makes it fly left. Next to it is a coffee machine. Hmm, I'm just asking, where's the handbrake?"

"Great, all wrong," Hank said helplessly. "I beg you to sit in the back."

"Why? The view here is so good," Clown Chao said unwillingly. He adjusted the seat height while adjusting the seatback forward and backward; he was really playing around.

Hank could only transform into his Beast form, grab Clown Chao's head, and haul him backward.

The person being grabbed offered no resistance at all; like a dead rabbit held by its ears, he was pulled from the pilot's seat and carelessly stuffed into some seat in the back row.

Hank even buckled the seatbelt for the other person. It was just that there were no tools or materials at hand; otherwise, he would have found an iron bar and welded the other person to the seat.

Relying on his brilliant brain, Hank could already imagine the suffering awaiting them on the upcoming journey.

When Magneto put on his signature helmet and boarded the X-Jet with the prepared Red Lotus and Selene, he naturally also saw that clown-costumed uninvited guest.

"He's going to act with us?" Magneto questioned Hank in the pilot's seat.

Hank answered awkwardly, "He is the helper Raven specifically requested."

"A mutant?"

"No, he claims to be an alien."

Suddenly, an awkward silence fell inside the X-Jet. Magneto and the other two turned to look at Clown Chao. He blinked rapidly, returning a clear, pitiful gaze like a puppy's, making anyone who saw it want to... hit him!

(End of this chapter)