Chapter 13: Son of God and Son of Man

Cesar later heard that David had participated in several more duels between attendants and had achieved unquestionable victories. He divided the spoils into two parts, one offered to God and one offered to Princess Sibylla, which could be considered as washing away the shame of defeat and regaining his honor. After all, David was not yet a true knight.

However, these had little to do with Cesar. He and Baldwin were caught in a fanatical love for the ponies Pollux and Castor.

Pollux and Castor were the twins of Amalric I's black stallion and a white Arabian mare, possessing all the advantages of their father and mother. Their heads were small, their necks and legs were slender, their backs were short, and their chests were broad. Even though they were not yet a year old, everyone who saw them believed they would become a pair of excellent warhorses.

Pollux was black with a white star on its forehead, and Castor was white with a black star on its forehead. Their names came from the Gemini in Greek mythology, the sons of Zeus and the Spartan Queen Leda. Pollux was the son of God, and Castor was the son of man. So in Baldwin's original plan, he would give Castor to the friend he trusted most, David, the son of the Count of Tripoli.

Now Castor belonged to Cesar.

Castor was completely different from any horse Cesar had ever seen or touched. This horse, born for war, already embodied many qualities beyond its peers when it was still a foal. To go a step further, it was smarter than many dull servants and could be controlled as easily as an arm, more so than any steel vehicle. Even though it was the first time Cesar was riding it, he could strongly feel how agile and tacit it was.

Without Castor, Cesar didn't feel he could have caught David so easily.

"I don't know how to describe it," he said. "At that time, my knees and calves were pressed against Castor's body, and I could feel its heart beating violently, in rhythm with me. As if for a moment, my thoughts were also poured into its mind. We were closely linked, connected as one."

"All great knights should have such a beginning with their four-legged friends," Baldwin said. "I also hope I can have such a first battle with my Pollux."

He reached out his hand, and there was a piece of dried apple in his palm. Pollux immediately stretched out its long tongue to lick it. The itching brought a smile to Baldwin that was rare for his age. "But it's not bad now. Since my father is still willing to let me become a knight and his heir, my first battle side-by-side with Pollux might be on a real battlefield."

This sentence aroused Cesar's interest. "A real battlefield? You're not even a squire yet, Your Highness. Can you go to the battlefield?"

"I can after the selection ceremony ends," Baldwin said. "Whether I obtain 'Grace' or 'Bestowal'," people here, to avoid mentioning the saint's name too much, would use these two words to represent being chosen by Michael or Raphael when it was not so formal. "Grace" referred to being chosen by Michael, and "Bestowal" referred to being chosen by Raphael.

"If we are both fortunate enough to obtain 'Grace', then the next things need not be said. But if one of us obtains 'Bestowal'," his expression became serious, "I will still stay by my father's side. As for you, I also hope you can make the same choice."

"I have sworn to you and your father that I will not leave you unless you drive me away."

Baldwin made a gesture of satisfaction. "You don't need to use honorifics with me, Cesar. Friends don't need to." He pondered for a moment. "Of course, if there is a contingency, we should also have corresponding means."

"Hmm." Cesar responded without pursuing the matter. His future, more accurately, was not connected to the pony Castor, but to Baldwin. He was Baldwin's lance and shield. Before the knight died, the lance would surely break, and the shield would surely shatter.

He sighed silently and turned his attention back to the pony Castor, brushing its snow-white fur hard with a bristle brush. The pony with holy fur should have been named Pollux, but before the pony was named, Baldwin was diagnosed with leprosy. In extreme grief and unwillingness, he gave the name Pollux to the black pony, but gave the name Castor to the white pony—which was not incomprehensible.

Equally understandable was the jealousy of Abigail, the son of the Prince of Antioch. White horses had always been the mounts of Kings and Bishops. If the owner was Baldwin or David, he might not have been so obsessed, but Baldwin gave Castor to Cesar.

Perhaps feeling that the brush that made him feel very comfortable suddenly stopped, Castor turned its head and rubbed against Cesar, as if urging him. The pony's large, almond-shaped eyes, glistening with water, could soften the heart of the most cold-blooded person, let alone Cesar, who was a gentle person by nature.

He raised the brush, continued to brush Castor's fur, which seemed to be able to glow, until it was clean, and braided its long mane so that the pony could be cooler in the hot summer.

Baldwin did the same, but it wasn't braided as neatly and beautifully as Cesar's. Pollux snorted, as if not very satisfied. "Alright, alright," Baldwin said with a smile. "It's too late today. Tomorrow morning I'll let Cesar braid it for you." He looked at Cesar. "Have you ever tried sleeping in the stable?"

"I don't remember," Cesar said. "But I can try."

After lying down on the fluffy grass, Baldwin fell asleep quickly, while Cesar gazed at the flickering torches, the frozen sky, and the twinkling stars—for a long time, until his eyes were sore. Unlike Baldwin, he had no way out. Soon, the selection ceremony would come, and he must be chosen to ensure he wouldn't die young. Even if Baldwin had said he wouldn't abandon him, how long could a slender lance and a thin shield last in the coming storm?

——————

"How can I increase the probability of being chosen?"

Heraclius frowned tightly. He was the same age as Amalric I, but because he was too thin, deep wrinkles had long appeared on his forehead, corners of his eyes, and mouth. His nose and cheekbones were high, and his lips were always pursed inward. When he didn't smile, he looked very stern. If it were David or Abigail, they would have slipped away long ago, but to Cesar, this face was not worth fearing. On the contrary, he even missed it—almost all his former directors of studies had such faces.

"If you ask this question outside, you will immediately be denounced as a heretic." Heraclius said. "A mortal, daring to fathom God's will?"

"Then I withdraw the previous question," Cesar said fearlessly. "How can we feel God's joy more deeply and keenly?"

Heraclius glared at him and then revealed a hint of a smile. Baldwin had contracted leprosy and was in the middle position between a sinner and a person being tested. He and Amalric I didn't need a fanatical believer to be the Prince's attendant. "Piety and hardship." He was afraid that Cesar wouldn't be able to grasp the mystery for a while. "And strict fasting, cleansing your body and mind. It's not just the kind you are experiencing now. When the selection ceremony comes, it will be even stricter. At that time, your diet will be provided by the clerics."

Cesar blinked. It seemed that the King and Heraclius's methods were in the diet. He didn't continue to get to the bottom of it. "Thank you for your teaching, and thank you for your comfort."

"Be firm," Heraclius stroked his head. "Child, you must be firmer and purer than anyone else."

Cesar understood what he meant. The questioning of Baldwin might run through his life because he was a leper. As his attendant, Cesar had to show advantages that others didn't have, and use his bravery, wisdom, and piety to prove that Baldwin was a perfect monarch.

Just like the twelve knights surrounding King Arthur, some of whom used Arthur's fame to achieve themselves, but there were also knights with noble temperament and outstanding qualities like the wise Gawain, the pious Galahad (who found the Holy Grail), and the faithful Bedivere (who guarded King Arthur to the last moment) to testify for King Arthur, proving that he was a King worth following and respecting.

He had nothing to complain about this. This was his duty. But he thought for a moment and made a request.

"You want to personally cleanse the Church of the Holy Sepulchre? Every inch?" Heraclius said in surprise. "Child, do you know how big the Church of the Holy Sepulchre is? That is one-third of Golgotha."

"I have decided." Cesar said. "The current me is just a lowly mortal. The only thing that belongs to me is my body, and I only do such small work."

Heraclius considered it for a while and agreed to his request.

Although he also cautiously reminded Cesar that this kind of practice and pilgrimage, which was not a secret, once started, could not be easily abandoned. Everyone in the Holy City would watch him. At the same time, he could not ignore his own duties, which was the duty of an attendant. He didn't have much free time to dispose of at will.

But since Cesar said so, it showed that he had considered it repeatedly. His background and Baldwin's leprosy were weapons that enemies could pick up at any time to stab them. Baldwin couldn't change the fact that he was a leper, and he couldn't prove that he was the son of a knight or a lord, but he could at least do one thing—that was to prove that he was a pious Christian.

This was not difficult. Before him, countless believers and clerics had tried every means to show how pure and fervent their faith was to God or man.

Generally speaking, prayer, chanting, and kneeling were very common among commoners. If they wanted to go further, they would choose pilgrimage—this was not hundreds of years later. They first had to save food for the road from their meager rations, and they had to make offerings to the lord or the church to get a permit (a kind of document similar to an identity certificate) to ensure they wouldn't be caught as refugees. After they finally escaped from the sharp eyes of wild beasts, bandits, or knight masters who were no different from bandits, they had to accept the tests of getting lost, poisoning, or disease. If he was fortunate enough to cross these layers of barriers and obstacles under the glory of God and arrive at his destination, he still had to pay a fee to the guardian of the Holy Land to touch the holy relics or witness the holy miracles with his own eyes.

But this was not without gain. Anyone who went on a pilgrimage and returned home completely would inevitably become the "person in charge" of the place because of such an experience. People would listen to his stories again and again, tirelessly. The lord would also remember his name, and the stewards would list them after their relatives when choosing helpers like "wheat collectors." He might become the first person among the commoners to receive Communion, and his son might also become a member of the choir.

As for nobles and clerics, they could use more methods. Besides attending Mass and pilgrimage, they would also fast (commoners ate wheat porridge twice a day, which really couldn't show the difference between fasting and not fasting); donate vestments, sacred vessels, candles, or even an entire church; some people also reflected the purity of the soul by torturing the body. Knights often tied a thick hemp rope tightly under their shirts, clerics whipped themselves until they were covered in blood, and there were also people who practiced by not bathing (or even not wiping their faces with a cloth). This method was very popular among noblewomen and clerics.

Compared to those who didn't clean themselves for years, or who used dirt as armor, or who made a vow to build a church and monastery, the vow Cesar made was not very shocking. If a cleric made such a vow, he might not even have the qualification to be remembered. But he was only nine years old. This age was the most playful and lazy time. Would he really do as he promised, and after completing the attendant's work, take half the time from his precious sleep to clean the huge Church of the Holy Sepulchre?

Compared to Heraclius, who was full of doubts, Baldwin held a warm attitude toward this. Although the Pope of Rome and the Patriarch of Al-Lazarus both rejected his father's request, this gentle-tempered child still believed that what was wrong was the Church and its servants, and it had nothing to do with God and His messengers. This was also why, when he was confirmed to have contracted leprosy, he calmly accepted this severe test with reason beyond his age.

He fully supported Cesar's asceticism. "I will go to bed two hours early, so we can wake up when the morning star rises (3:30 AM). I will pray, and you will complete your work with my blessing. We will meet again after Morning Prayer."

This was equivalent to giving Cesar four extra hours of leisure time. The sleep time he had to sacrifice was shortened to two hours, which had not caused any great loss.

"Thank you." Cesar said. Baldwin looked at him, and Cesar suddenly understood. He smiled, stepped forward, and hugged his friend tightly.

(End of chapter) ===== CHAPTER 14 =====