Chapter 201: An Unspeakable Act

Alfred sat staring blankly at the documents before him as his council once again bickered about issues. They were indispensable to the runnings of his palace and empire but for some reason Alfred always found himself dozing off or losing interest in anything they said. It wasn’t like his inner court where he gave his everything when planning with them.

The arguments went back and forth and Alfred couldn’t help but think the words on his sheet began to scramble.’She wants another child?’His mind kept wandering back to her muttering last night. It was a weird thing for him to come to grips with. After Edward’s birth, she had been put off the idea. He didn’t blame her, even before the incident with Helga she knew that the trauma she suffered with such a difficult birth would off anyone.

But finally, she said it. Grabbing his head he shook it trying to think, as the council silenced and watched him in confusion. "The Emporer is tired. Leave the funding plans on my desk and will look into them later." Charles said in a strong voice and the council could see it, getting up and quickly leaving.

"How long has he been like this?" Charles asked confused to Chris, getting a shrug.

"Since this morning. He was fine last night."

"Must be something with Her Majesty then." Charles gave a soft chuckle getting up.

"When do you plan to marry my friend," Chris asked before he could leave freezing Charles. Scratching his chin he had a crooked smile.

"Yeah, I forgot about that." Chris didn’t believe it; knowing Charles was just pushing it off.

"You’re not getting younger. Don’t be like those old men who take young brides please." Charles laughed and waved it off.

"I know. I always wonder if I could just adopt. I don’t think I will have the time to be a good husband." Charles looked to the roof. "But I guess that’s just an excuse." Grabbing his forehead a bitter smile formed. "God what a shit time. My brother wanted to be celibate and I wanted to live in a forest, now look where I am."

Chris scoffed but smiled. "I guess I have it easy, all I need to do is look after him."

"Don’t be too happy. I’m sure he will eventually ask you to marry." Charles said quickly getting a groan from Chris.

"I’ll just make it a law that the Royal Guard Commander can’t. I have that power after all." Chris said with a smile getting a frown from Charles.

"Does this really matter right now?" Charles asked.

"Personally I don’t think so, but you’re a noble, I thought that’s all that mattered."

"Yeah. I gue.." Alfred slammed the table standing up as he walked out of the room ignoring the two. Chris gave a nod to Charles quickly following behind leaving him alone. "Maybe I do need to marry," Charles muttered to himself quietly. He thought of Raven and how he used to tease him for it. "It’s a shame you won’t be the one officiating it brother." His eyes were full of sadness thinking of his brother but quickly shaking his head he fixed his mood and left.

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"Look who’s here Edward?" Isra said cutely to her son as she played with his hands looking at Alfred. Waving Chris to sit back he walked over and crouched in front of the two.

"How is he?" Alfred stroked his hair and picked up a small toy, placing it in his hands.

"Calm again. He shows slight grimaces of pain occasionally but nothing too much."

"Is that so." Alfred took another toy and waved it around in front of Edward, the young boy reaching out to try and grab it failing every time. His angry face made him laugh as Alfred let him finally catch the toy getting Edward to giggle as he waved it around. "We need to talk."

"About what?" Her voice was full of confusion and Alfred looked around his smile falling as he indicated everyone inside to leave. The servants all bowed as they left. Chris attempted to but Alfred shook his head looking at him.

"Do you remember what you said before you fell asleep?" Isra thought but shrugged looking back at Edward.

Alfred expected this, carefully picking Edward up and placing him on his lap. The boy didn’t care continuing to play as he slammed the two toys in his hands together. "It was about a second child." He spoke quietly getting Isra to sigh as she shook her head.

"Alfred. I was tired."

"Isra." He said firmly grabbing her hand and looking deep into her eyes. "You may have been, but it can’t have come from nowhere."

The two held their stare with Isra breaking first as she looked away biting her lip. "I’ve been thinking." Isra finally spoke, looking away. "Part of me never wants to experience what I did with Edward again, it scares me to even think of going through it again." Her voice slightly broke but her eyes went powerful quickly as she looked back at Alfred.

"But what scares me more is his future Alfred." Looking at the young boy lovingly she bitterly smiled. "If he can’t have children the pressure he will feel throughout his life, it will consume him. He will have to live knowing everything you worked for and he will work for ends with him. I don’t want that Alfred. I want him to have someone. Someone he can rely on when we are gone. A family that will love him no matter what."

"Isra," Alfred said softly as he grabbed the long hair playing with it between his fingers trying to find words. "It’s selfish, I know."

"It’s not." Alfred tried to reassure her but she shook her head quickly.

"Don’t think I haven’t heard the things going on outside. The church calls my son horrid things to bash you, and the nobles..." She paused. "Rumours of you taking a second, third wife have never died since Edward’s birth. They say that fact we haven’t had a second child is because you believe the Church’s words."

"Isra." He was at a loss and looked to Chris. The man gave a single almost robotic nod, confirming her words. "You know not the case."

"I know." Isra almost shouted the words quickly calming herself. "But when I hear these things, it reminds me of Edward’s position. They will never accept him, Alfred. He’s a freak to them. They will always wait for the chance to get rid of him." Isra grabbed his hand. "I will do whatever it takes to protect him, even if it means going through that again. Whatever it takes." The conviction in her voice was strong.

"We still don’t know if he can’t have children."

"But it’s because we don’t know. If he can’t, then he will never be safe. I don’t want that for him. I just want him to be happy."

Alfred rested his head gently on Edwards giving it a light kiss as he did. "I don’t think I can do it." He hid his eyes. "I just don’t know. Every time I think of it, I just remember that night. How powerless I was. To be used as nothing but an object." His fists clenched once more and Isra reached out and grabbed them, relaxing Alfred.

"Alfred." Her caring voice flew into his ears, finally getting him to look at her. "What if she returns?" It was something she had kept at the back of her mind the entire time. If Helga returned and with children what happened to Edward? It would just give the nobles the justification for their beliefs surrounding Edward but also a new option other than him.

Alfred froze at the question and understood her deeper meaning. They had spoken about it before. "You know I can’t."

"Not even for Edward." It was his weak spot as he hugged his son, getting a slight giggle from him.

His hands shook as he thought about the next words. "I don’t know Isra." She knew she shouldn’t be off, but a wave of disappointment ran through her body.

"What if I did it for you?" Her soft, motherly voice was strange when discussing the murder of hypothetical children.

"Isra you can.."

"I will do anything for Edward." She cut him off with a cold voice. "If I had to burn the Empire to make him safe and happy, I would." Her protective desire overwhelmed Alfred as he took a breath. He could tell it wasn’t empty words.

"Don’t say that as if I wouldn’t." His voice was soft. "But to ask me to kill my own children if the time came. My hands are stained enough as it is. To ask me for something like that."

"Then let me help your burden," Isra said aggressively but Alfred shook his head.

"I can’t do that to you. Not this way." Alfred tightened the grip on her hands. "I love you for who you are Isra. But if you did that, you would change. And I would live knowing I caused it. I caused your soul to be scarred. I caused you to commit an unspeakable act."

"But you didn’t"

"I DID!" Alfred cried out shocking everyone in the room. "All this is my fault. No matter how much I try, it will always be my fault for being naive. Arrogant. Whatever caused it, it was my fault that led me to the cabin."

"Alfred." Isra pulled him in for a hug making sure not to hurt Edward. "You did nothing wrong. Don’t blame yourself." Isra felt the weight of his head fall onto her shoulder.

"I just don’t want you to do it. It’s not fair." His voice was weak and Isra tightened her hug.

"I won’t then," Isra said softly but Chris who was watching saw the deep chill in her face. It was a lie to appease Alfred, but he could see.