Chapter 460: A Talk Between Siblings

"The finger could not be saved, Your majesty." The doctor calmly spoke to Alfred. Sitting on the corner of the bed, gently stroking Astrid’s head, he knew, already expecting this outcome. "The worst of it has passed. Luckily, the blade used was sharp enough to make a clean cut or the risk of infection would have been much worse."

Alfred sighed and looked down at Astrid’s right hand. The ring finger had been cut off just below the joint where it bends. Although it was lucky that Astrid could keep so much of her finger, he knew that it was going to take a while for her to recover. Astrid looked up and brightly smiled as she leaned closer to Alfred, happy that after so long, her father was spending a lot of time with her.

Returning a thin one, Alfred stared at her face, more specifically, the black bags under her eyes. "Get some rest, your brothers can see you now that the danger has passed." Kissing his forehead, Alfred signalled with his eyes for the doctor to follow. "Her sleep? I can see on her face she isn’t getting much."

"That is what I am confused about, Your Majesty?" Looking through the ajar door, the Doctor stared at Astrid, who struggled to fall asleep, turning over and over, trying to get comfortable. "We have two theories. During the kidnapping, she was administered a lot of tranquiliser. I think she is still getting used to not having it in he system. The other one is much like the Crown Prince’s condition."

"I see." Alfred sighed and smiled, "Thank you, doctor. Please treat her well."

"Of course." Resting his hand on his chest, the doctor bowed to the departing Alfred’s back and returned to the room. Alfred stormed through the palace, straight to his office, where Horace sat with an expressionless face. Getting up, he bowed but was quickly waved off by Alfred.

"It has been a while. Tell me what happened?" Leaning forward, Alfred rested on his hand. Horace nodded, already having the story he would tell in mind.

Staring at the story from when he followed the two in the forest, Horace carefully watched Alfred to gauge a reaction. When he got to the part of him approaching Luca, he saw a small twitch in Alfred’s eyebrow and calmly carried on, following the conversation with Luca. Only when it got to the part about James awaking did the story change slightly. Instead of telling the truth, the story became one where James cut Astrid’s finger to prove he was serious without any provocation, and Luca tackled the man, wishing to follow his teachings as a Templar.

Much like the truth with a small change, Horace threw Luca off James and killed James, letting Luca run free after it was done. The lie was subtle, but it was enough to convince Alfred. Seeing him sigh, Horace smiled. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Alfred that he had allowed her finger to be taken to create an opening. Although he was certain Alfred had his suspicions, he was more than willing to believe that his loyal subordinate had tried to prevent the act rather than use it.

"Okay, thank you, Horace. For now, my children will remain here. How has the cleanup of those who hurt Edward gone?"

"The Empress was happy to return focus on that after the Princess was secured. Two of them have been dealt with already; she is preparing for the final two, carrying out her own justice for what happened."

"Leave her be. Just make sure she doesn’t go overboard." Alfred finally let himself relax, everything having come to an end. "Tighten the watch on the Ammary lands and keep tabs on the Livonik ones. Things will get tense soon. We must be prepared. At this time, we can’t afford to have traitors."

"I will keep watch, Your Majesty. I have failed once already. This won’t happen again." Alfred nodded and waved him off.

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Frida walked through the palace halls alongside Abu. On her right, she held Balder’s hand, keeping him away from Edward. Unlike usual, where Balder would try to talk, he was quiet, eerily so, worried about what he might see. Abu watched and chuckled. He already knew Astrid was safe, but for the children, it was different.

Even Edward had a worried look, unable to sit still in his chair. Frida knocked on the door, and when the doctor saw who it was, he happily opened the door for them. Frida stepped forward first, walking to Astrid’s side, leaving Balder by the door.

"Astrid." Softly speaking, Astrid flipped over, with a wide smile, plunging into Frida’s arms to give her a tight hug. "How do you feel?"

"Tired." Her voice had slightly recovered, and although it was quiet, she could now be heard. Looking behind Frida, Astrid saw Balder and Edward. Abu pushed the chair forward, letting Edward get closer whilst Balder hobbled with an embarrassed, shy look.

Astird stared at her twin brother, conflicted about how she felt. On one hand, she didn’t blame him. He had no way of helping her at the time. He wasn’t an adult or even brave. She couldn’t fault him for allowing himself to be taken. But on the other hand, he didn’t even try to stop Violet from coming back for her. All he did was watch with a futile grasp of the air.

She felt stupid for her feelings about him. She knew he had no control, but when she screamed out for help and he didn’t even try, what else could she think? Looking at Edward, she smiled and held out her right hand. It was the first time she had seen her half-brother so worried for someone else, a face that suited him. Spreading her fingers, she wore a big, foolish, but bright smile.

"We’re the same now, Edward." Edward looked at her missing finger and opened his mouth to say something, stopping at the last moment. Lowering his head, he chuckled softly, not able to think of anything to say.

Balder stepped forward and grabbed Astrid’s hand. "Astrid..." he quietly spoke, looking at her missing finger, "This isn’t right." Looking up at her eyes, Balder clenched his fist, "I will..." Trying to repeat what he had overheard Alfred say, he paused, knowing Frida and Abu were watching, "I will get them for this." Mincing his words, he didn’t smile, completely serious.

Astrid giggled at Balder’s words, not realising he was being serious, but when she did, she frowned, "Don’t be stupid, Balder."

"I’m not." Balder snapped back. The two stared at one another again, "I will, they hurt you, made you worse." Pulling her hand away, Astrid rolled her eyes and turned away.

"Get out, Balder." Even when she was ill and stuck in bed, her brother still managed to make her feel bad about her injury. It had been a desperate few days, ones where all she could do was smile and laugh in the face of what she had seen. Crying had solved nothing. She still lost her finger, she was still taken, drugged and moved about.

She didn’t want to cry again. It was pathetic, something done when powerless to change the circumstances. At least when she laughed, she felt strong. Lost a finger: laugh. Kidnapping: laugh. Return home: laugh. It was all she could do.

Balder was the only thing that could make her want to cry again. Balder stared at Astrid for a second, unable to understand why she had suddenly become cold. Frida knew who and quickly grabbed Balder’s hand. "She is just tired, My Prince. Let her rest."

Looking at Astrid, Balder sighed and did as told, leaving the room. Edward turned to face Abu. "Can I talk to her in private?" Abu nodded and looked at the doctor, signalling him to leave.

"If anything happens, shout. I will be outside." The two left, closing the door behind them. Edward stared at Astrid and thinly smiled.

"You don’t want to be like my sister." With a sad tone, Edward looked deep into Astrid’s eyes, "It’s so hard." Astrid gulped and pushed herself out of bed. Sitting on the edge, she let her feet dangle off, resting just above Edwards’ lap. Holding her hand out, she chuckled. Edward stared at it and grabbed hold.

"You don’t ever call me sister, Edward." She watched his cheeks flush in embarrassment and laughed again, "I don’t know why you say that, Edward." Astrid softly spoke, "You are really strong, I’ve seen it."

"I’m not."

"You are." Astrid cried out, "The people at school are always so mean to you, but you never cry. Never act like them." Astrid tightened her grip on his hand. "I was so scared, Edward. It hurt so much." Even when tears formed in her eyes, her lips curled up, "I thought I wouldn’t come home, wouldn’t see you, Dad, Balder, or anyone again." She paused, "I saw someone die."

"Astrid." Looking at her face, Edward saw her bright, wide smile. He knew what it was, because it was what he did. A mask to cover up how she felt. If he hid behind a mask of nothingness, hers was a joyful one. "I..." He stopped speaking, scared to recount what he had seen and been through, "I did too."

Astrid’s smile fell as she stared at Edward, "I don’t remember it much anymore." He carried on, "But sometimes, I see things that remind me of it. I was in my bed, I think. And..." He paused again and looked down. Taking a few deep breaths, he had to calm himself down. "I see, sometimes I feel the red water that spilt all over me." Looking back up at her, he couldn’t even form a smile, "I hear what everyone says about me. Sometimes, I think they are right. I am evil or cursed or a monster."

"You’re not!" Astrid desperately said. "They just don’t know you."

"I know. But I still hear it." With his other hand, he placed it over Astrid’s right hand, his thumb gently stroking the base of her missing finger, "I hate my life. The only good in it is Mother, Abu and you. The rest. I hate them all. I try to love father, but it’s so hard." Edward looked down and took a deep breath, "I wish I hadn’t been born sometimes." With a deep breath, Edward let go of Astrid’s hands and dropped his head into her legs. Grabbing the ends of her dress, he took a deep breath, "You don’t want to be me, Astrid. You don’t want to be the same as me. It’s so bad."

"Edward..." Holding her hand out, she froze before stroking the back of his smooth black hair, "It gets better. It must."

Edward gripped tightly around her dress, "I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want to be normal." Astird felt her chest hurt. She had never spoken to Edward more than a few sentences. Feeling the dampness on her dress, she wondered when the last time he had ever cried.