Chapter 342: with translation of chapter title

342. Chapter 342 Heartbreak 17

I went into the room, took out my pajamas, intending to shower and then go back to sleep—though not sleeping wouldn't matter either, I just lay there, lost in thought.

I didn't want to keep thinking and make myself sadder and more upset.

After finishing my shower, it was already late—almost ten o'clock—but I still couldn't help walking to the window, pulling back the curtains, opening the window, and looking outside. When I saw a figure down below, my heart gave a sharp tug—wasn't that Shangguan Yun? He was smoking, looking forlorn as he leaned against the wall corner, standing under a tree with hardly any leaves, appearing utterly desolate.

The ember of his cigarette glowed especially bright and dazzling in the night—he had really come; how did he come…

Standing at the window, my tears began to flow again…

I covered my mouth, trying as hard as I could not to make any sound.

Shangguan Yun finished one cigarette and immediately lit another; watching him made my heart ache terribly…

I don't understand why we've become like this, why we've turned out this way—I don't know if this counts as tormenting each other.

Shouldn't we sit down and talk properly, laying out what we need to say clearly?

So I picked up my phone, intending to call him, hoping to get some things off my chest and speak clearly.

But holding the phone in my hand, I became timid again; I was afraid, I was afraid that what Tingting said was true—I would rather not find out for sure, clinging to a sliver of hope, even though I know Tingting's words are true, I still prefer to deceive myself, not let myself figure it out; sometimes pretending to be clueless is better than knowing.

So I put the phone down and continued watching Shangguan Yun, who kept smoking.

I stared blankly, not knowing how long I had stood by the window, but in the end I couldn't resist picking up my phone to call Shangguan Yun, and the call was answered quickly.

"Where are you now?" I asked as soon as the call connected.

"I'm downstairs at your place—just woke up?" Shangguan Yun's forlorn voice sounded in my ear.

"Me, how do you know I'm sleeping?" I asked, bewildered.

"I've been standing downstairs at your place for a while; I saw your room stayed dark with no lights on, so I thought you must be asleep, and therefore I didn't dare call you."