Chapter 47: My Chicken

Seeing Xu Damao stop shouting, the courtyard fell silent as everyone stared at him.

Li Xuewu turned to Xu Damao and asked, “Who cares where his chicken came from? If your family lost a chicken, does that mean the whole nation can’t eat chicken tonight?”

Xu Damao wanted to explain but couldn’t: “I...”

Unable to explain himself, he glanced helplessly at Third Uncle, who always took petty advantages from him.

Third Uncle cleared his throat and said to He Yuzhu, “He Yuzhu, if Xu Damao wants to know, just tell him—when your heart is free of selfishness, the world is vast.”

Seeing Li Xuewu had his back, He Yuzhu lied: “Bought it at the market.”

Third Uncle, arms folded, asked calmly, “Which market? Dongdan Market or Chaoyang Market?”

He was setting a trap for He Yuzhu, limiting the scope of his lie.

Li Xuewu watched Third Uncle with amusement—no wonder scholars kill without knives.

He Yuzhu glared and kept lying: “Chaoyang Market.”

Third Uncle thought he’d caught him: “That doesn’t add up. Even if you took the bus, a round trip to Chaoyang Market takes at least forty minutes, not counting the time to buy and slaughter the chicken. What time did you get off work?”

Qin Huaiju listened anxiously to He Yuzhu’s defense—she wanted him caught admitting to stealing the chicken, yet didn’t want to lose this “top supporter.”

She fretted inwardly that He Yuzhu was falling into the trap, but couldn’t warn him.

He Yuzhu was speechless—what could he say? Deny it and Banggeng was ruined; admit it and he’d be the one suffering.

Xu Damao and his wife secretly gloated.

At that moment, Second Uncle seized the chance to heap even greater blame on He Yuzhu, sowing discord: “There’s another possibility—this chicken in the clay pot isn’t Xu Damao’s. Everyone knows He Yuzhu is the cook at the Third Steel Plant’s canteen. Maybe he brought it back from there.”

It sounded like he was helping He Yuzhu, but in truth, it was confirming a far graver charge—especially with the head of the Public Security Division listening.

He Yuzhu naturally refused to accept that responsibility.

“Hey hey hey, don’t go there! Stealing one chicken is one thing, but stealing from the factory is embezzling public property—this meeting wouldn’t be enough, we’d need a factory-wide struggle session. Don’t bring that up.”

Third Uncle sneered: “Well, how you put it? Every day after work, you carry a net bag—inside it’s a lunch box. What’s in that lunch box?”

What business is it of yours!

Third Uncle’s family had long envied this—every time they saw Qin Huaiju bringing home He Yuzhu’s lunch box, and heard her three kids bragging about fish and meat, they’d endured it for too long.

But they couldn’t go to He Yuzhu’s house and snatch it—no moral ground to stand on. Every time Hua Hua said this dish was delicious or that one was tasty, Third Uncle felt he’d lost a hundred million.

Third Uncle’s life creed: if you don’t pick up money on the street, it’s as good as losing it.

Even a man carrying human waste past the gate had to poke it with his finger to taste if it was salty or bland.

Li Xuewu tapped the table in front of Third Uncle: “Third Uncle, you say He Yuzhu had no time to buy a chicken—that means you believe he stole it.”

Third Uncle nodded at Li Xuewu’s words: “Yes, if the origin’s unclear, it’s clearly stolen from Xu Damao.”

Li Xuewu turned to Xu Damao: “Was your chicken a rooster or a hen?”

Xu Damao replied firmly: “Of course a hen—it was given to me by village cadres when I screened films at Hongxing Commune. I kept it for my wife to produce milk.”

Li Xuewu ignored his rambling and asked again: “You’re certain it was a hen?”

Xu Damao looked at Li Xuewu like he was an idiot, but didn’t say it aloud, instead answering firmly: “Certain.”

Li Xuewu lifted the lid of the clay pot, pried out the chicken’s head, and asked Xu Damao: “Does your hen have a comb?”

Xu Damao was stunned—the chicken’s head clearly had a small comb.

The chicken was clearly slaughtered before fully grown, and He Yuzhu had tucked the head inside the cavity when cooking.

Lou Xiaoe didn’t believe it and stepped forward to look.

He Yuzhu finally caught on, grinned wide and bared his teeth: “Lou Xiaoe, you can’t even tell roosters from hens? No wonder you don’t lay eggs. Xu Damao must be a hen who can’t even step on eggs.”

“You bastard!”

Lou Xiaoe’s face flushed red as she cursed He Yuzhu.

Half the flush came from realizing they’d wronged someone; the other half from being childless.

But Lou Xiaoe had been raised as a concubine since childhood and didn’t know how to curse—this insult was learned from Xu Damao, only spat out when pushed to the edge.

He Yuzhu, elated, ignored Lou Xiaoe’s curse and only grinned at Qin Huaiju.

Qin Huaiju, relieved He Yuzhu had landed safely, was happy too—her meal tickets were saved.

Li Xuewu glared at He Yuzhu; he immediately toned it down.

Ignoring He Yuzhu, Li Xuewu turned to Second Uncle again: “You claim He Yuzhu’s chicken came from the steel plant. What proof do you have? No problem—say it now, and I’ll arrest him.”

The Invincible Evil God

Hearing this, He Yuzhu went pale.

Holy shit, brother, you’re going full kill mode!

I’m on your side!

I’m He Yuzhu!

Second Uncle was stunned—he’d never seen Third Uncle and the others use evidence to solve a case. Once they showed up, the culprits always bowed their heads in shame and confessed.

Li Xuewu stared at Second Uncle, then tapped the enamel mug he’d received as a factory award: “You’re an elder. Your words carry weight. You live in the same courtyard—why speak so falsely of He Yuzhu?”

Third Uncle, a primary school teacher who didn’t work at the steel plant, wasn’t afraid of Li Xuewu: “Then where does his lunch box come from every day?”

“What’s it to you? Are you a teacher or a police officer?”

“I... I’m Third Uncle of this courtyard.”

Li Xuewu’s blunt words humiliated Third Uncle—he wanted to retort but couldn’t think of anything, so only emphasized his title.

Li Xuewu, seeing Third Uncle’s defiance, said to He Yuzhu: “He Yuzhu, did you hear that? From now on, every day after work, report to Third Uncle’s house—tell him what you brought home and what you ate.”

He Yuzhu knew how to flatter—he grinned and replied: “Got it. From now on, even if I go to the toilet at midnight, I’ll report to Third Uncle first.”

Third Uncle, enraged by their coordinated act, rolled his eyes upward.

Seeing Li Xuewu settle Second and Third Uncle with just a few words and clear He Yuzhu’s name, Xu Damao was stunned—chicken gone, eggs broken?

“Comrade Li, my chicken is gone!”

Damn, could you even say that?

You just solved the case of your wife’s infertility.

Li Xuewu tapped the clay pot lid: “You saw this pot—it’s not your chicken. You rushed everyone out and made such a scene—don’t you owe us an explanation?”

Xu Damao was slow to react, but Third Uncle understood and pointed toward He Yuzhu.

Xu Damao finally got it, embarrassed and reluctant, said to He Yuzhu: “Uh... I was wrong about you. Sorry.”

He Yuzhu grinned, wanting to mock him, but seeing Li Xuewu watching him, he quickly dropped the smirk and said seriously: “I’m partly to blame too—we live in the same courtyard. Let’s just drop it.”

Seeing He Yuzhu say that, Xu Damao turned again to Li Xuewu: “My chicken...”