Chapter 15: At Court, It's All About Who Has the Thicker Skin

This so-called "cheap Imperial Father-in-Law" Zhou Kui was nothing but a miserly iron rooster who wouldn't give up a single feather.

Historically, the Chongzhen Emperor had staged a spectacle of getting ministers to donate funds for military supplies, but this one had no such intention — the outcome was already known, doing it would be pointless, and in the end he'd only embarrass himself without raising any money. Why bother?

The fighting around Shanxi was now in full blaze; there was no room for gentleness anymore. Extraordinary times called for extraordinary measures to get results!

Those Eight Great Salt Merchants of later infamy truly lived up to their reputation — pulling out any one of them yielded several million taels of ready silver. Selling off the rest of the Zhai family's properties might bring even more later; this single household alone would probably cover the entire northwestern military budget.

Having tasted blood, the Chongzhen Emperor was clearly getting addicted. The Fan family in Zhangjiakou was even fatter, but they were a bit too far from the emperor's reach, and he couldn't manage that many at once — and since there was grass right by the nest in the capital, why not eat it?

Since Wang Aoyong's little slap on the wrist hadn't scared these Donglin Faction types, then why not just go for something big? Acting on impulse, the Chongzhen Emperor decisively gestured for Li Chun to come over and said:

"Edict: summon the Eastern Depot Director Wang Cheng'en, Embroidered Uniform Guard Commander Li Ruolian, Grand Secretariat Chief Grand Secretary Chen Yan, Second Grand Secretary Wei Zaode, Minister of War Zhang Guowei, Minister of Revenue Ni Yuanlu, Minister of Personnel Zheng Sanjun, and Minister of Works Xue Fengxiang to see me! Oh, and also summon Fang Zhenghua, seal-holder of the Directorate of the Imperial Horses!"

Li Chun acknowledged and hurriedly turned to leave the chamber, but just as he turned around he heard Chongzhen calling him back, so he hastily turned again — the rapid back-and-forth left him a bit dizzy.

"Summon the Duke of Ying as well — he might come in handy!"

The current Duke of Ying was Zhang Shize, who served in the Capital Camps but held no military command. He had no idea what the emperor wanted him for.

Li Chun keenly sensed that the Chongzhen Emperor seemed to be in a rather bad mood. Though curious, he didn't dare say anything, and simply ran off with such thoughts to deliver the message.

Soon, the ministers, nobles, and eunuchs who had received the imperial summons came scurrying over eagerly. Apart from Li Ruolian, Fang Zhenghua, and the Duke of Ying Zhang Shize, all the other ministers were so exhausted they were dripping with sweat.

Entering the warm chamber, the ministers looked at the Chongzhen Emperor's face — dark with clouds, as if a thunderclap could strike at any moment — and felt uneasy in their hearts, so much so that they forgot even to wipe their sweat.

"The Embroidered Uniform Guard and Eastern Depot were only just re-established a few days ago. Could it be that summoning everyone this time means they've already uncovered something enormous?"

"That shouldn't be — these past days I haven't even stepped foot outside my door..."

Among the ministers present, from Chief Grand Secretary Chen Yan at the top down to the various Ministers, those with completely clean hands were not entirely absent — but they were as rare as phoenix feathers and qilin horns, fewer than one in ten.

Upon seeing the Eastern Depot Director Wang Cheng'en and Embroidered Uniform Guard Commander Li Ruolian standing in attendance beside Chongzhen, several of the court's heavyweights felt even more strongly that something terrible was afoot.

Chief Grand Secretary Chen Yan quietly turned his head and shot a look, then spoke:

"Your Majesty, what exactly is the great matter at hand?"

In truth, since recovering from that serious illness, the Chongzhen Emperor had only attended morning court twice. The first time he announced the re-establishment of the Eastern Depot and immediately followed up by confiscating Wang Aoyong's property; the second time he did nothing at all, which was even more chilling to the spine.

On that occasion, the Chongzhen Emperor sat on the dragon throne, propping his chin with his hand, and regardless of what went on below, simply watched with an extremely eerie smile. He said nothing at all, and that was that.

Before coming, the assembled ministers had discussed matters on the way, but none could figure out what Chongzhen was really thinking. They were already in a very passive position and could only fall back on their old methods.

"My ministers, you are all the pillars of our Great Ming. There are some things I must speak plainly about..." The Chongzhen Emperor's face suddenly flushed red, and he spoke with an awkward, hesitant air:

"My ministers all know that not long ago I issued an edict to reform the Capital Camps and establish a new army. Unfortunately, my purse is rather thin... Just now another military dispatch arrived from the northwest — Zhou Yuji has already engaged Li the Dashing in battle. So I was thinking that here in the capital, we should also speed up our progress."

Hearing this, everyone suddenly understood it all at once — so you're staying true to form after all, circling around and around only to end up asking us for silver.

That won't do. The realm is yours, the Zhu family's, but the silver sits in our own purses. Anything else can be discussed, but when it comes to money — no negotiation!

Seeing everyone remain sullenly silent, Wang Cheng'en had no choice but to step forward and say with a smile:

"Oh my, my — for all you 'heavyweight ministers' to gather in the warm chamber today is quite a rare sight. There are some things this servant ought not to say, but the Imperial Father-in-Law, as the head of the nobility — shouldn't he set an example?"

Zhou Kui had grumbled to himself before coming. By all rights, what did court affairs have to do with him? Why had that little eunuch Li Chun insisted on dragging him along?

At first Zhou Kui was puzzled, but when he heard the words "pillars of the Great Ming," he relaxed — those words clearly had nothing whatsoever to do with him. It looked like the emperor was about to make a move against the ministers.

Come to think of it, his own daughter was the current Empress. Even if the emperor wanted money, he wouldn't come asking at his own doorstep, would he?

Zhou Kui was still smugly thinking that Chongzhen had called him over to share out money, never expecting Wang Cheng'en's words to veer so far off course. Seeing Chen Yan and the others turn their heads toward him, he urgently stepped forward from the ranks and memorialized:

"Your Majesty, the court has not issued salaries for many years now. Your subject's household is destitute, and I truly cannot scrape together any silver. However, I have always delighted in farming, and my household still has over two dou of surplus grain. Today I am willing to hand it all over to contribute to the nation!"

Having said this, Zhou Kui lowered his head with a composed expression, but inside his heart felt like ten thousand grass-mud horses were galloping joyfully — what business did he have coming here to join in the fun? What a waste of time.

In the end, it was someone like Wang Cheng'en who could best divine the emperor's thoughts. Before Chongzhen even had a chance to speak, he had already raised the matter. Even if Zhou Kui was furious, he could only blame Wang Cheng'en.

Chongzhen glanced at Wang Cheng'en, moved in his heart, but spoke with a tone of mild reproach:

"The Imperial Father-in-Law's household is destitute — how could we ask the Imperial Father-in-Law to produce silver? Wang Cheng'en, stop your nonsense!"

Watching Wang Cheng'en beg pardon and withdraw, the Chongzhen Emperor turned and said with a beaming smile:

"Imperial Father-in-Law... you know, the court is not merely short of silver these days — grain is also of the utmost importance. How about this: Li Ruolian, take the Embroidered Uniform Guard of the Northern Townfu Office to the Imperial Father-in-Law's residence and conduct a search, to see just how many dou of rice can be confiscated for public use."

Chongzhen had had the Embroidered Uniform Guard and Eastern Depot investigate, and from the intelligence already obtained, it could be preliminarily confirmed that the Imperial Father-in-Law Zhou's residence held no less than five hundred thousand taels of silver — possibly even more.

The fellow's speech just now had been delivered with great righteousness, but to the ears of Wang Cheng'en, Li Ruolian, and the Chongzhen Emperor, it sounded like the biggest joke in the world.

Li Ruolian looked Zhou Kui up and down, then stepped forward with a furrowed brow: "This subordinate obeys the decree!"

"No, no, no!"

Hearing this, Zhou Kui nearly jumped straight out of his skin. If he let those Embroidered Uniform Guard types into his residence, not a single tael of his silver would remain.

Seeing the Chongzhen Emperor's infuriating smile, Zhou Kui's face twitched. As if having made an enormous resolution, he gritted his teeth and said:

"Your Majesty, your subject suddenly recalls that my household still has some surplus wealth. I am willing to donate ten thousand taels of silver, to serve as an example for all ministers!"