Chapter 21: Testing the Medicine

After obtaining the "Seven Times a Night Pill" from Prime Minister Mei, the Emperor became incredibly cheerful and full of energy!

With no heart to bother with state affairs, he had not yet finished reviewing today's memorials when he urgently instructed Ninth Eunuch to arrange for two concubines to attend him tonight.

Ninth Eunuch dared not disobey the imperial decree, but still felt compelled to remind the Emperor.

He respectfully said, "But... Prime Minister Mei's pills have not yet been tested for poison. Is it not... too hasty to take them directly tonight?"

"Then order the Guanglu Temple to test for poison immediately!" the Emperor said impatiently.

Ninth Eunuch: "This servant obeys the decree."

Emperor: "Wait a moment..." Having received the decree, Ninth Eunuch had just turned around when the Emperor called him back.

Ninth Eunuch: "Does Your Majesty have further orders?"

"This batch of pills contains only twenty..." the Emperor said with a specific intent: "You shall have the Guanglu Temple test just one; do not waste three at once! I do not have enough to eat myself."

After Ninth Eunuch agreed, he proceeded to the Guanglu Temple to arrange the poison testing.

That evening, at the third quarter of the You hour, the Emperor, having finished dinner in the Zha Wenhua Hall, boarded a sixteen-palanquin golden dragon sedan chair and moved to the Lingxia Palace.

The flying dragon golden sedan was pulled by eight fine horses, all from the Western Regions; they were sturdy, clad in golden armor, with golden bells tied to their hooves, ringing clangingly as they galloped.

The carriage body was jet black and glossy, entirely inlaid with gold decorations; the front featured a stone carving of a flying dragon, its eyes woven with gems and gold, lifelike.

Inside the carriage, golden silk velvet was laid out; the surrounding beams were carved and painted, hanging with auspicious beasts like lions and eagles; the roof was semi-transparent, painted with landscapes, flowers, and birds, allowing the sky's color to be seen through.

Inside were also ice-soul jade dew to dispel heat, imperial snacks, and on the table stood an ivory-carved painting board, with brush, ink, and rice paper all prepared.

Outside, the royal imperial guards stood watch, holding swords and bows, imposing and majestic; imperial horses accompanied them, their bloodlines equally noble, making the procession spectacular.

The old Lingxia Palace was struck by lightning and burned down eighteen years ago; the current Lingxia Palace is a new palace completed only at the beginning of this year.

Occupying a vast area, it adopts octagonal architecture; three layers of towers rise high into the clouds, with flying eaves and painted beams; colorful glazed tiles shimmer with strange hues; beast statues on both sides of the palace gate are lifelike. Inside the palace, gold and jade shine brilliantly, dragons and phoenixes present auspiciousness; the splendor of the decoration is not inferior to any other palace.

In the center of the palace lies a circular sunken bath pool with a diameter of ninety-nine and eighty-one feet, a place where the Emperor plays in the water to escape the summer heat.

The poolside is inlaid with jade and precious stones; besides being beautiful, it has excellent anti-slip effects; the pool bottom is paved with beige pebbles, capable of massaging the Emperor's soles.

Tonight the pool water is green and crystal clear, cool enough to relieve summer heat; the surface floats with five-colored flower petals and fragrant herbs, a special bathing formula prepared for the Emperor's tender skin.

Tonight the pool water is grass-green, emerald like soup, the water temperature is refreshing and cool, capable of relieving summer heat; the surface floats with five-colored flower petals from five continents and foreign lands, along with fragrant medicinal herbs; these are bath medicine formulas specially developed by the imperial physicians for the Emperor's sensitive skin.

Just for this one pool of bath water, every time the Emperor takes a bath, it consumes three hundred and twenty taels of silver, approximately the income of ten ordinary households for a whole year!

At a glance, it is extremely luxurious; enchanting and gorgeous, dazzling the eyes and bewildering the mind.

Under the service of more than ten palace maids, the Emperor loosened his clothes and slowly stepped into the pool.

Ninth Eunuch brought a round dragon tray made of rosewood; on the tray were eighteen jade tablets, nine on top and nine on the bottom, neatly arranged. The Emperor turned his head to look, pondered for a while, then waved his hand and said, "This batch won't do; change to another batch."

So Ninth Eunuch ordered someone to bring another tray of jade tablets, again nine on top and nine on the bottom, another eighteen tablets.

But the Emperor looked again and still was not satisfied; after removing them, he changed to another tray; in this way, six trays were changed back and forth!

Finally, there were truly no more people left, so the Emperor reluctantly picked two jade tablets from these six trays, totaling one hundred and eight concubines, and ordered Ninth Eunuch to go and deliver the decree for attendance.

No sooner had Ninth Eunuch left than the Emperor himself began to lose patience!

A few days ago, due to a shortage of the "Seven Times a Night Pill" in the palace, the Emperor had long been suppressed with fire in his belly, feeling uncomfortable all over, and suffering from unbearable longing!

He thought: These concubines still need to bathe and change clothes, prepare the sedan, and move the palace; it will not be that quick for a short while.

The Emperor glanced up; by the poolside, palace maids were lined up, five on the left and seven on the right, totaling twelve people, all young girls with beautiful appearances.

For a moment, the Emperor could not help but hesitate; at the moment he should act, he acted!

The Emperor raised his hand and pointed to the palace maid among them who looked the most pleasing to his eye, and called her over; without even asking her name, he relieved the troubles in his heart with her.

After finishing, the Emperor's expression finally showed relaxation...

The eunuchs serving nearby, after the Emperor had finished his favor, according to custom, immediately took the palace maid away to be well settled, awaiting the conception of the dragon seed; only if she had her period again within a month would she be returned to her original post.

Half an hour later, Ninth Eunuch brought the "Li Fei" and "Xiang Fei" who had been selected earlier to the Lingxia Palace.

But helplessly, at this moment, the Emperor was still in a sage state, his mind vague, not yet fully withdrawn from the joy of seclusion.

Although the two concubines cooed like tender orioles, their delicate hands unfolding the beauty of the brocade pouch, the Emperor was still unsatisfied, temporarily feeling a bit tired, and did not feel as excited as before.

The Emperor grew anxious; at over sixty years old, he instinctively thought he needed to seek help from the "Seven Times a Night Pill."

He called Ninth Eunuch and ordered: "Little Ninth, quickly go to the Guanglu Temple and fetch that box of 'Seven Times a Night Pills'; I wish to take them."

After Ninth Eunuch agreed, he immediately turned around and ran towards the Guanglu Temple.

At this time, inside the Guanglu Temple, Eunuch Ming was supervising the poison testing work; the one executing the poison test was the Mongol Great Inner Guard "Tu Tu Kesiluo."

Half an hour ago, he had taken one "Seven Times a Night Pill"; now the medicine's effect was taking hold, his body was sweating, his desire was unbearable, and he was truly restless!

Looking at the many eunuchs surrounding him, if he were not a straight man of steel, he feared he would be unable to restrain himself and would have already pounced on others, grabbing whoever he could to relieve the depression in his heart.

"Is it uncomfortable?" Eunuch Ming asked.

"Truly... truly unbearable!"

Tu Tu Kesiluo answered with a troubled face: "I hope the Eunuch will raise a merciful hand and find a woman for this humble servant to relieve this situation and this fire!!! Anyway, there are so many palace maids in the palace... any one will do; even a laundry woman from the Laundry Bureau, this humble servant can make do!"

"You can forget about that!"

Eunuch Ming sneered: "The women in the palace all belong to the Emperor; if any palace maid dares to conceive a wild seed, both you and I will lose our heads!"

Tu Tu Kesiluo said: "This humble servant knows... but this humble servant is truly uncomfortable, making one anxious!"

"Endure a little longer. A Wu Zhiren, suffering this small suffering, what is it worth?" While speaking, Eunuch Ming took two taels of silver from his sleeve and handed it to Tu Tu Kesiluo.

He added: "After I finish recording, you may leave the palace, find a woman outside the palace, and relieve this situation."

Tu Tu Kesiluo took the silver, weighed it, and said awkwardly: "Eunuch, you do not know; with just these two taels of silver, one cannot buy a flower token!"

Eunuch Ming snorted and asked with a laugh: "That would be good then; tell me, how many taels would be enough?"

Tu Tu Kesiluo: "At the very least... it should be ten taels to be enough!"

Just at this moment, Ninth Eunuch rushed into their sight and immediately asked: "Where is that 'Seven Times a Night Pill'? Has the poison test been completed?"

Before Eunuch Ming could reply, Ninth Eunuch turned to the only man present—Tu Tu Kesiluo—and asked: "Is it uncomfortable?"

The same question had just been asked by Eunuch Ming. Tu Tu Kesiluo still replied with a twisted face: "Very uncomfortable!"

Nine Thousand Years: "Where does it hurt? Is it your stomach? Or your head?"

Tu Tu Kesiluo: "Reporting to the Eunuch, this subordinate took that brain-awakening medicine and became overly stimulated, urgently needing relief!"

"Then take off your clothes and let me take a look!" Nine Thousand Years commanded.

Upon hearing this, Tu Tu Kesiluo immediately removed his lower garments, truly unable to conceal what lay beneath.

Seeing this, all the eunuchs present showed expressions of envy; Eunuch Ming even swallowed saliva and sighed: "Alas... if only I were still a man, how wonderful that would be."

After confirming the medicine's effect, Nine Thousand Years still cautiously examined his tongue coating and breath, even checking his gaze and pulse to ensure no abnormalities.

Nine Thousand Years used every bit of the half-set medical skills he had learned from the imperial physicians; after confirming no other symptoms of poisoning were found, he then bestowed another ten taels of silver on Tu Tu Kesiluo, permitting him to temporarily leave the palace to relieve his pent-up emotions.

After the Emperor finished his bath, wearing a cool robe, he sat in the Piandian of Lingxia Palace, engaging in awkward small talk with "Li Fei" and "Xiang Fei," who had come to serve in his bedchamber.

About half an hour passed before Nine Thousand Years finally arrived; he was seen holding that box of "Seven Times a Night Pills," running over with three steps taken as two!

After the Emperor received and opened the brocade box, he immediately took one pill, but after a quarter of an hour, no effect was seen!

"Xiao Jiu, when you tested for poison just now, did you witness it with your own eyes?" the Emperor asked.

"Reporting to the Emperor, this servant did personally verify it..." Nine Thousand Years continued: "That reaction was absolutely genuine!"

"But how... after I took it, there is no improvement?" the Emperor asked again.

Nine Thousand Years glanced at the brocade box and suggested: "Perhaps... Your Majesty should wait a little longer?"

"It was precisely to wait for you that half an hour has passed!" the Emperor scolded in a bad mood: "I've waited until the chrysanthemum vegetables have gone cold!"

Li Fei and Xiang Fei, standing nearby, seeing the Emperor shift from embarrassment to anger, exchanged glances, daring not to speak a single word.

Next, the Emperor picked up another "Seven Times a Night Pill," muttering: "Could it be... that because I have taken it for a long time, the effect of this single pill... is insufficient to take effect?"

"Your Majesty, this is a fierce, wolf-and-tiger medicine; under no circumstances should you take an overdose!" Nine Thousand Years reminded with a face full of fear.

But the Emperor ignored Nine Thousand Years' warning, took a tea bowl, and swallowed another "Seven Times a Night Pill"! This time, in less than half a quarter-hour, the Emperor had already restored his vitality.

Seeing that the Emperor had recovered from the sage state back to the war god state, Nine Thousand Years left several palace maids to attend him, then led the other eunuchs to quietly exit the Piandian.

They went outside to wait, standing by for orders...