Chapter 432: Mutual Taunts

Zhu Qizhen frowned at her. "You seem well-informed."

Pan Yun: "I may never have eaten pork, but I've seen pigs run—I can learn from history."

Zhu Qizhen: "... You're calling the Emperor a pig?"

Pan Yun immediately said: "That's what Your Majesty said yourself."

Zhu Qizhen didn't get angry; instead, he found her intriguing. "You're quite interesting."

He raised the list in his hand. "You're donating all these grains, cloth, and money to the imperial court?"

Pan Yun nodded with a smile. "Yes."

"Why not hand them over to the local authorities instead of risking entry into the palace?" Zhu Qizhen paused. "This wealth is substantial—any official who received it would rejoice and report it to claim merit. I wouldn't withhold an official post from you—a rank of Yuanwailang is certainly within reach. But sneaking into the imperial palace is a capital offense. Even if merits and faults cancel out, the fault likely outweighs the merit."

Pan Yun: "I give you money, you give me an official post—isn't that selling offices and titles? Grand Emperor Taizu would be so furious he'd rise from the grave."

Zhu Qizhen: "... You're not even happy to receive an official post?"

Pan Yun: "I fear being recorded in history as a corrupt minister who opened the precedent of selling offices and titles in our dynasty. Even if there were predecessors before me, I have no allies—they'll all pin the blame on me. I won't let my name be etched in history to be reviled for ten thousand generations."

Zhu Qizhen felt every word she spoke was an insult to him—and to his ancestors.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "In selling offices and titles, how could Great Ming compare to the previous dynasties? Or to the Song? Even the Tang had plenty of such cases."

Pan Yun looked at him disapprovingly and shook her head slightly. "Emperor, why only compare their worst traits? Can't you compare their strengths too?"

"Compare your heart to the Tang, your economy to the Song, your territory to the Yuan..." Pan Yun said. "The bad, the rotten—you should fix them all. What's the point of studying history if not to avoid repeating its mistakes?"

Empress Qian nodded repeatedly, finding this warrior's words highly reasonable—and growing less annoyed with him.

She tugged gently on the Emperor's sleeve and whispered, "Your Majesty, though this warrior is crude and disrespectful, he possesses talent and insight. He came to offer gifts—please show him mercy."

Zhu Qizhen: "... Empress, don't be easily deceived by him."

Pan Yun: "Your Majesty, I never deceive."

Zhu Qizhen held his breath and asked: "Then where is it? Where should the Embroidered Uniform Guard collect it?"

Pan Yun smirked at him. "Grains and cloth require time to purchase and transport. Be patient. By the latest, within a month, I'll ensure you receive them."

Zhu Qizhen: "So you're claiming to donate me wealth with nothing but empty words?"

"How could I?" Pan Yun lifted the coral tree before her, curling her lips. "I've already gifted a coral tree worth a fortune—would I begrudge a little more wealth?"

Pan Yun said: "I listed the items—I will deliver them."

Zhu Qizhen glanced at the coral tree. From his perspective, he knew these two coral trees were genuine—and truly valuable.

Even the imperial palace had few coral trees of such quality.

He remembered his father once displayed them in the hall, but after his father's death, his mother, ever frugal, had stored away all such luxuries.

Zhu Qizhen hadn't seen coral trees this fine in many years.

No young man dislikes beautiful things.

Zhu Qizhen reluctantly believed her, looked away, and asked: "What's the third gift?"

Pan Yun said: "I'll give you several policy suggestions—free of charge."

Zhu Qizhen sneered. "So this is your real goal? To meddle in politics for personal gain?"

Pan Yun shook her head slightly. "Indeed, a corrupt heart sees everything as corrupt."

Zhu Qizhen:...

Empress Qian, seeing the Emperor once again outmatched, couldn't help smiling faintly and turned to brew tea for them—no longer fearing this man would harm the Emperor.

She felt no malice from her.

Pan Yun: "Ancient rulers invited advisors with repeated invitations and offered great rewards and prestige. I ask for none of your money, no official post, no fame—I give you policy advice for free. Isn't that a gift?"

Zhu Qizhen couldn't help retorting: "There are countless voices debating state affairs—must I listen to every single one? The fact that I'm standing here listening to you is already my grace to you."

"That alone proves you're no enlightened ruler," Pan Yun said. "An enlightened monarch listens carefully to every commoner's voice—whether right or wrong—because their words reflect their hardships and interests."

"Hearing all sides leads to clarity. Didn't your Grand Tutor teach you that?"

Zhu Qizhen realized he couldn't outargue her. He rubbed his forehead. "Fine, fine. Speak. What advice do you have?"

"First, kill Wang Zhen!" Zhu Qizhen:...

Before he could rage, she continued: "Second, execute every corrupt official in court, and sentence their descendants for three generations to disqualification from imperial examinations and official service."

Zhu Qizhen's temper instantly cooled. He looked at her calmly and asked gently: "Anything else?"

"Of course," Pan Yun said. "Border regions like Gansu, Ningxia, and Datong haven't rotated garrisons in years. Corrupt officials feast and drink in wealthy lands, while soldiers bleed and weep on the frontier. Some families have five or six able-bodied men serving on the border—is that justice?"

Zhu Qizhen asked: "Anything else?"

"Of course. Fourth: Inside the palace, all seems peaceful and prosperous—but outside, especially beyond Jingcheng, refugees swarm, wandering everywhere, driven off by local offices. They long to return home but lack land to settle on. I suggest confiscating the estates of corrupt officials and scholar-gentry and distributing them to refugees. You eliminate the rot and pacify the people—why not?"

Zhu Qizhen asked mildly: "For example, whose estates?"

"For example, Yang Shiqi's. Confiscate his ancestral lands—you could settle many refugees."

Zhu Qizhen froze. "Grand Secretary Yang? He's always been incorruptible. He hasn't even repaired his Beijing residence. Every year, the palace sends him charcoal—he can't afford better than medium-grade, and it aggravates his old illness..."

"He's incorruptible," Pan Yun waved off. "But his son isn't. Send someone to Jiangxi to investigate—you'll find the truth. His son's wealth is substantial. Confiscating it could settle many refugees."

Zhu Qizhen felt strange—annoyed, saddened for Grand Secretary Yang, and oddly unsettled.

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He confirmed: this person truly wasn't here for office or profit—she really had come to "gift" him.

But her temperament was like Zhuangzi's—everything displeased her, everything must be killed or demoted.

Zhu Qizhen found it amusing, no longer angry. Just then, Empress Qian brought tea. He picked up the cup and offered it to her.

Zhu Qizhen swirled the tea, took a sip, and asked lazily: "Anything else?"

"One final point," Pan Yun said, cradling the teacup but not drinking—she set it aside. "To avoid Japanese pirates, the southeast coast has pushed populations further inland. But not everyone can farm—especially fishermen. Is our Great Ming navy truly afraid of mere Japanese pirates?"

Pan Yun said: "The court should lift the maritime ban—not just permit civilians to fish at sea, but strike back—attack Japan itself!"

Zhu Qizhen: "... Do you know most of the so-called Japanese pirates along the southeast coast are actually Great Ming subjects in disguise? Letting civilians go to sea is handing them over to pirates to plunder."

Pan Yun: "Are the blades of our Great Ming navy dull, then?"

Pan Yun said with spirit: "Kill them, wipe them out. Who cares where they're from — anyone who dares to slaughter and plunder the common folk should be treated as Japanese pirates and exterminated."

Zhu Qizhen: "Fighting a war costs money."

Pan Yun replied with a cutting barb: "So the Emperor also knows that fighting a war costs money. Was the money for the Luchuan campaign not put up by the imperial court? Or is it that the lives of common folk along the southeast coast count for less than the lives of common folk in the southwest?"

Zhu Qizhen's face darkened the instant he heard her bring up the Luchuan campaign. "How dare you! Who gave you leave to recklessly comment on affairs of state?"

Pan Yun's brow lifted slightly. It seemed Second Senior Brother had been right — the Luchuan campaign was the Emperor's sore spot; whoever mentioned it got his wrath.

Pan Yun struck first. With a swift motion she snatched the slip of paper that had been lying weighted on the table. "Your temper's too foul. I need to think again whether I really want to give this to you. Until we meet again!"

With that, she flipped herself out through the window. Zhu Qizhen rushed forward just in time to see her leap onto the rooftop in a few bounds, then vanish into the sky like a great eagle — gone in an instant, without a trace.

Zhu Qizhen stared after her, dumbfounded, his heart surging with emotion.

Empress Qian came running over, holding up her skirts. She caught the look on the Emperor's face and, worried, seized his hand. "Your Majesty, are you about to fly off too?"

Zhu Qizhen's eyes were shining. "Empress, don't you think his lightness skill is dashing, and that air about him is dashing too?"

Empress Qian: "…Just now you were still furious at him for breaking into the palace uninvited."

"Right — he broke into the palace uninvited!" Zhu Qizhen shouted toward the outside. "Cao Jixiang! Cao Jixiang—!"

Cao Jixiang stood outside in a daze. He blinked, blinked again, but still didn't move a muscle.

The Emperor called three times and no one came in, so he flung the door open in anger and went out.

The moment he stepped out, he saw five people standing in the courtyard — besides Cao Jixiang, there were two palace eunuchs and two palace maids, all of them their usual personal attendants.

The five stood stock-still at this moment, only their eyeballs darting about, watching him with anxious expressions.

Zhu Qizhen was astonished. He immediately ran up close to look, even stretching out a finger to poke one of them, his face full of surprise. "They're really not moving at all. Could this be the legendary acupoint-sealing art of the jianghu?"

Empress Qian watched curiously as well.

Seeing that she was curious too, Zhu Qizhen grabbed her hand and made her poke them, his spirits soaring. "Look — see? They can't move!"

Empress Qian was indeed amazed, but seeing the sweat beading on their foreheads, her heart softened. "Still, we'd better call someone to undo the acupoints — don't hurt their bodies."

"Oh." Zhu Qizhen went off in person to call for help.

(End of chapter)