Chapter 88: Three Realizations

Pan Yun packed the herbs Wang Feiyin had chosen for her; she had exhausted her spiritual energy and mental focus, drawing countless talismans, and ultimately succeeded in creating only twelve.

She packed them all at once, without wasting a moment, and immediately picked up the box to descend the mountain.

Wang Feiyin saw that her spirit and energy were severely depleted and dared not let her go alone, so he sent Tao Yanbai to escort her.

The two hurried as fast as they could, entering Yushan County before the city gates closed at dusk; the next morning, Pan Yun took the huge sum of five taels of silver to send a fast parcel.

She recovered three taels, which was actually quite a lot—if used only for daily living, it would sustain her for a long time.

But Pan Yun instantly lost all interest in money.

She still had many unresolved questions—about the Dao, about the mountain god Pan Gong, and about all the complexities of this mortal world.

If the bonds between people are as deep as she now felt them to be, and the Dao determines collective punishment by bloodline, then what difference is there between this and the imperial court?

If the imperial court is wrong, subjects may resist—and even replace it.

If the Dao is wrong, can they replace heaven itself?

Pan Yun thought: either the Dao is wrong, or our understanding of the Dao is mistaken.

She sat motionless on the donkey cart; Tao Yanbai couldn't help turning back to look at her and asked, "Little Master, are we returning to Mount Sanqing, or going to Dazhou Village?"

Pan Yun then remembered that Tao Ji was still in Dazhou Village; after a brief pause, she said, "Go to Dazhou Village."

When Tao Ji saw Pan Yun return, he hadn't even fully relaxed when he noticed she did nothing but sit outside the Zhou family gate, chin propped on her hand, staring blankly.

Before he could assign her any tasks, she wandered off again to the center of the village, to the Eight Trigrams Women's Center, and stared blankly there.

In the afternoon, he found her in the fields, staring blankly at the people harvesting rice.

Tao Ji: …

Tao Ji gave up trying to make her work and told Tao Yanbai, "Go back. Take Seeing Miao Zhen and Miao He to gather more herbs for heat relief and summer prevention—autumn harvest is starting, and demand for these herbs is high."

Tao Yanbai agreed and drove the donkey cart away.

Once Tao Yanbai left, it became even harder for Tao Ji to find Pan Yun; she left early and returned late, and when they did meet, she was either staring blankly or chatting idly with villagers.

Today, seeing Pan Yun in the Zhou family courtyard was rare—he was astonished. "Aren't you going out today?"

"I am. I'm going to Yushan County soon."

Tao Ji: "To stare blankly in Yushan County?"

Pan Yun turned and said, "I'm going to the Minxin Bureau to check if I have any letters. My father and brother are in trouble; since there's no immediate threat to their lives, someone must have sent me a letter. Postal stations are safer but too slow—they'll definitely send it through the Minxin Bureau."

The Minxin Bureau only delivers to Yushan County—that's why she stayed in Dazhou Village, so she could reach Yushan faster to inquire about news.

After a brief pause, Tao Ji said, "I'll go with you. I need to buy some herbs anyway."

The two siblings walked to Yushan County.

Along the way, Pan Yun remained silent; even the black cat on her shoulder was quiet—so quiet that Tao Ji grew uneasy. He cleared his throat awkwardly and said, "Little sister, don't worry. I've noticed your heart has been fine these past two days, with no ominous signs. They may have already escaped danger—there's nothing to fear."

Pan Yun nodded.

Tao Ji felt his advice had worked and pressed on: "Don't dwell on this constantly. Datong and Guangxin are so far apart—even if something happened, you can't reach them. Worrying is useless. Better to rally yourself and focus on what you can do now…"

Pan Yun: "Third Senior Brother, you should stop trying to comfort people. It's not your strength."

Tao Ji bristled. "How isn't it? You just listened. Then tell me—what good has your worrying done these past days besides wasting time?"

Pan Yun: "I haven't wasted time."

"Sitting like that, doing nothing—isn't that wasting time?"

Pan Yun: "I'm thinking. I'm not staring blankly."

Tao Ji's mood calmed. As Daoist Priests, they were indeed meant to think deeply.

He asked, "What have you figured out?"

"Much," Pan Yun said, "but I can't speak of it yet. Let me summarize further."

It sounded unconvincing; Tao Ji stopped pressing her.

Tao Ji first accompanied her to the Minxin Bureau.

The clerk at the Minxin Bureau remembered Pan Yun well—he'd worked in Yushan's Minxin Bureau for years, and customers who spent two taels on fast delivery were rare, maybe one or two per year, at most.

Pan Yun had joined that select group of one or two people, once or twice—impossible for him to forget.

Seeing her, he immediately pulled out a letter. "Little Daoist, you've arrived just in time—today a letter arrived from Datong. I was about to send someone to deliver a message to you, and here you are."

Pan Yun thanked him, took the letter, and opened it without delay.

During this period of correspondence, father and daughter had concealed their true conditions behind cheerful lies—until now, they began probing each other's real situations.

Finally, Pan Hong couldn't bear it anymore and wrote to Pan Yun: "What can't we be honest about between father and daughter? From this letter onward, let us speak openly and discuss everything—so our bond won't fade."

Pan Yun felt her own life was fine, with nothing to hide. Since her father said so, she decided to write him in detail about how she cultivated, how powerful her current abilities were, how brilliant she was, and how much she'd learned on Mount Sanqing.

There was too much to write—the letter was only half finished, so she hadn't sent it.

This time, Pan Hong's reply was candid—he detailed Pan Yu's injuries and included a pulse diagnosis, asking if she knew a better prescription.

Pan Yun immediately thrust the letter into Tao Ji's face. "Third Senior Brother, help me."

Tao Ji read the letter, frowned, and said, "Internal injury… bleeding must be stopped immediately. By the time this letter goes back and forth, will he survive?"

Seeing Pan Yun's face turn pale, he hurried on: "I checked the prescription from the Datong Physician—it's still appropriate. You just need to replace ginseng with notoginseng, and add a small amount of paris polyphylla…" Pan Yun immediately grabbed Tao Ji's arm and made him write the prescription on the spot. "I'll send it to Datong right away."

Worried Datong couldn't find notoginseng and paris polyphylla, Pan Yun borrowed a large sum from Tao Ji, bought notoginseng and paris polyphylla at the neighboring pharmacy, and placed them together in a box to send.

Her remaining three taels of silver vanished instantly, leaving her with only one tael—and she now owed Tao Ji five taels. Notoginseng powder was expensive.

After sending the fast parcel, Pan Yun and Tao Ji both sighed.

Hearing each other's sighs, they glanced at one another and sighed again.

Suddenly exhausted, Pan Yun sat on the steps between the Minxin Bureau and the pharmacy.

Tao Ji stood beside her for a while; seeing she had no intention of moving, he said, "Wait here. I'll go buy some herbs."

When Tao Ji returned, she was still propping her chin, looking utterly drained—he couldn't help frowning.

"Is this little hardship enough to break you? Back in Jingcheng, when you were on the brink of death, you weren't like this."

Pan Yun tapped her toe against the step and asked, "Why did the Minxin Bureau and the pharmacy build these steps here?"

Tao Ji frowned. "For pedestrians to sit on. What does that have to do with you being so dejected?"

!. Read

"I'm sitting on it now— isn't that relevant?" Pan Yun said. "Does the Dao even notice and manage such trivial things?"

Tao Ji's eyes grew cloudy. "What?"

Pan Yun pointed at a man beside them and asked, "Third Master, do you think he's pitiful?"

Tao Ji looked over.

He was a middle-aged man in tattered clothes, his face etched with hardship, his fingers thick and calloused. He squatted on the steps counting coins—a handful of copper pieces pressed under a prescription—and still rummaged in his pockets, trying to find a few more.

Hearing Pan Yun point at him, the man scowled at her but said nothing, instead carefully shifting the prescription and the coins atop it farther away from them.

Tao Ji also gave Pan Yun a disapproving look. "Pitiful? Don't bully him."

Pan Yun said nothing. She pulled out a tael of silver from her body, walked into the pharmacy, and returned shortly with three doses of medicine, handing them to the man. "Made according to your prescription."

The man froze, looking up at her blankly.

Pan Yun shoved the medicine bundles into his arms. "Take them home."

Tao Ji was stunned. "What are you doing, Younger Sister?"

Pan Yun asked him instead, "Third Master, do you think the Dao is watching us now? Does it have thoughts about this?"

Tao Ji fell silent.

Pan Yun walked to the stall across the street and bought two large bags of buns—twenty in total.

She waved to the beggars huddled beneath the wall.

The beggars, ever alert, saw her gesture and rushed forward immediately.

Pan Yun handed out the buns one by one. To each recipient, she asked Tao Ji, "Does the Dao have thoughts now?"

"Is it watching now?"

"Will it approve of me for this?"

"Meow—" Pan Xiaohei's fur stood on end, the cat fully bristled, as if it had exploded—she thought her host had gone mad.

Tao Ji could not speak, overwhelmed by confusion.

After distributing them all, Pan Yun handed the last bun to Tao Ji.

Tao Ji took it numbly. Pan Yun said, "Will the Dao count my helping Third Master as merit?"

Since the moment she gave the man the medicine, her Spirit Realm had been chiming steadily, alerting her of merit credits arriving.

+5

+1+1+1…

One bun gave one merit point—until she gave one to Tao Ji, the Spirit Realm fell silent. So, same buns, same act—why did Tao Ji give her no merit?

Pan Yun sneered. "I'm foolish. The Dao has always been clear—we've just mistaken the subject."

Tao Ji stood expressionless, holding the bun. "Younger Sister, who are you talking to?"

"I'm talking to you, Third Master."

"But I don't understand a word!" Tao Ji said. "Speech requires both sides to understand."

"Third Master, my merit doesn't come from the Dao—it comes from those I help. The Dao doesn't care whether I save people; only those I save care."

Pan Yun said, "Rules matter—rules! I thought myself too important. You thought yourselves, and me, too important. The Dao doesn't care. There are so many people in this world—how could it possibly watch each one?"

"It has rules. My merit comes from their gratitude. My karmic debt comes from their hatred." Pan Yun said. "It's emotion collection under rules. The Dao is the rule-maker—it won't act beyond its own rules for one or two people."

"So everything is false. Big Brother, Fourth Sister—they were wrong. The rules are fixed. The Dao looks down, but its gaze never fixes on any single person. It observes every thing in this world equally."

Tao Ji stared at her, eyes wide. The primordial qi of heaven and earth surged violently toward him, knocking him back two steps. He stood speechless, watching as Pan Yun slowly closed her eyes and sat down silently on the steps.

(End of Chapter)