Chapter 11

Unable to bear the disturbance, Bai Bai Ziling, though she had a coffee shop to run, chose to temporarily disappear to avoid Jiang Jie and even Di Di Zhiwei; her cousin Tong Yiwen had opened a kindergarten on a mountain in Xindian, so she went up the mountain to seek refuge with her.

Tong Yiwen was only two years older than Bai Bai Ziling, but she was the kind of woman who was loving yet conservative and rigid, always buttoning her shirt to the very top, wearing dark trousers, her long hair tied in a ponytail, with no makeup, as if she were a woman from the early Republic era.

Regarding Bai Bai Ziling's sudden appearance, she did not ask much; her home was within the kindergarten, and having Bai Bai Ziling meant having an extra helper and a companion.

Bai Bai Ziling greatly admired her cousin, not only for her ability to run a kindergarten alone, but also for her personality that did not pry or nag; Tong Yiwen neither questioned why she had suddenly appeared nor asked what was wrong, and they seemed to have known each other for a lifetime.

The nights on the mountain were somewhat boring and dull; aside from the starry sky and the silence of the room, there seemed to be nothing else; at first, Bai Bai Ziling would read books or listen to the radio because Tong Yiwen did not have cable TV, but as days passed, Bai Bai Ziling also felt that time dragged on endlessly.

Watching this, Tong Yiwen one night suddenly brought her two balls of yarn and four knitting needles.

"Cousin, this is—"

"I will teach you to knit sweaters."

"Knit sweaters?!" Bai Bai Ziling's eyes nearly popped out; she had grown up, and aside from some needles and threads in home economics during junior and senior high, she had never even sewn a button herself, let alone learned to knit a sweater now.

"You don't want to learn?" Tong Yiwen glanced at her without forcing her.

"Wouldn't it be faster to just buy one?"

"Buying one and knitting one have different meanings."

"But..."

"I just want you to use knitting to settle your emotions; you will have something to focus on, so you won't be scattered every day, not knowing how to endure." Tong Yiwen possessed a worldliness and maturity beyond her years.

Bai Bai Ziling felt somewhat embarrassed by her words.

"Knitting is actually very interesting; there are so many styles and stitches, with endless variations; every sweater you knit yourself can be unique, so you won't have to worry about wearing the same outfit as someone else."

"I have no interest in these things..."

"Never?" Tong Yiwen finished her sentence for her.

"My home economics grades have always been on the borderline of passing."

Tong Yiwen did not force her; she quickly started knitting herself; she looked calm and peaceful; after spending the day fussing with a group of brats, she still had the energy and could settle her mind to knit, at her age of twenty-five or twenty-six...

"Cousin, why did you hide up here?" Bai Bai Ziling suddenly asked curiously; actually, she was not very close to this cousin; if not for Jiang Jie "causing" this, she would still be fine and living in Taipei.

"Hide?"

"Honestly, at your age, no one would exile themselves to such a remote place where you have to drive just to buy groceries; don't talk about that nonsense like 'educating the future pillars of the nation'." Bai Bai Ziling wanted to have a good chat with her cousin, after all, there were only the two of them in such a large house.

Tong Yiwen just smiled faintly.

"You were hurt in love?" Bai Bai Ziling guessed.

"Not what you think."

"Then what is it?"

Tong Yiwen's expression showed she did not really want to mention it.

"No woman nowadays dresses as conservatively and rigidly as you, as if trying to wrap her whole body up; showing a little skin appropriately is also a kind of sexiness and elegance."

"I am used to dressing this way."

"Dressing like this is unhealthy."

After a deep breath, Tong Yiwen put down the knitting needles and yarn, and looked into the distance. "In my first year of high school... my physical education teacher tricked me into the equipment room; he said I should help him count all the ball equipment; I didn't think much of it at the time, and as a result... I was almost raped by him."

"What?!" Bai Bai Ziling was furious. "How could there be such a scum of a teacher? Didn't you expose his ugly and disgusting behavior?"

"No." Tong Yiwen blamed herself.

"He will likely find another innocent target; you are indulging evil, and that is wrong!" Bai Bai Ziling was somewhat agitated.

"I know it is wrong, but I was even more afraid of him turning the tables on me; after all, only he and I were present then, and it would easily become a case of each telling their own story, a Rashomon without truth." Tong Yiwen knew this was a thing from ten years ago, but that wound had still not healed.

"That lets him off too easily!"

"Bai Ziling, I was only in my first year of high school; I didn't know what to do at all; I had already lost my composure." Tong Yiwen said with great pain.

"You didn't tell anyone?"

"Not a single one."

"You bore all of this yourself—"

"Humiliation, fear, filth, panic..." Tong Yiwen nodded. "Yes! I bore all these emotions alone; I was just a tiny bit away from collapsing, from being unable to live on."

"So you hid up here?!"

"In high school, I studied early childhood education; after unexpectedly getting into university, I decided that in the future I would open a small kindergarten in a place far from the hustle and bustle; not for money, nor to educate the future masters of the nation, I just wanted to give them a correct concept when they first start learning." Tong Yiwen had never spoken these inner thoughts to anyone.

"Cousin..." Bai Bai Ziling was moved and could not speak.

"What about you?"

"I..." She pointed to herself. "Compared to your reason, mine is simply shameful!"

"Trouble in love?"

"No trouble, just someone who refuses to let go." Bai Bai Ziling bitterly mocked herself. "Many people only realize what they have done or what they have lost after the damage is done."

"But can escaping solve the problem?" Tong Yiwen shook her head in disagreement.

"I am not escaping."

"Then how long do you intend to hide here?"

Bai Bai Ziling had no answer; she did not know if the troubles would still be there if she returned to her original life; would Jiang Jie know her determination that her heart was dead and she did not want to have any connection with him anymore?

"Bai Ziling, I am used to this life; I have a life goal, but what about you? How long can you hold on?" Tong Yiwen asked with concern.

"One day at a time."

"What if he comes looking for you?"

"Here?!" Bai Bai Ziling was startled.

"Do you think this is some mysterious 'restricted zone'? As long as you have a car and an address, you can come up." Tong Yiwen picked up the yarn and needles again. "You can escape for a while, but not forever."

Bai Bai Ziling's expression suddenly became grave; how much longer could she hide? As long as Jiang Jie was determined, he would find her; at that time...

Di Di Zhiwei barged straight into Jiang Jie's office without even knocking, regardless of what his cousin was doing at that moment.

The department heads who had been standing outside Jiang Jie's office taking a scolding were now quite happy that someone had come out to rescue them; sure enough, Jiang Jie waved his hand, telling these heads to leave first.

Di Di Zhiwei also knew his limits; only after all the heads had gone out and he slammed the door to his cousin's office did he lose his temper.

"Bai Bai Ziling is missing."

Jiang Jie showed no reaction.

"Jiang Jie, I'm telling you your 'wife' is missing! I've been to her coffee shop several times in a row and couldn't find her!" Di Di Zhiwei roared in a rage.

"Perhaps she doesn't want to be found by you."

"How did you treat her?"

"Di Di Zhiwei, do I need to report to you or explain how I treat my wife?" The two cousins were about to turn on each other.

"You... had sex with her?" Di Di Zhiwei wanted to confirm.

"You even want to control that!" Jiang Jie's expression changed.

"Why did you have relations with her?" Di Di Zhiwei asked angrily.

Jiang Jie did not answer; he simply stood up from his office chair, walked to the window, holding a cigarette and a lighter in his hand, but he only played with them without lighting them. His gaze fixed on the vast white clouds outside the window; he too was curious where Bai Bai Ziling had gone.

From Bai Bai Ziling's three friends, Jiang Jie could not get anything; they also seemed to truly not know Bai Bai Ziling's whereabouts. Where could she have gone?

Di Di Zhiwei then rushed to his front, grabbing his shirt, looking ferocious as if he wanted to fight him.

"You know perfectly well I wanted to pursue her!"

"You can't pursue her."

"How do you know?" Di Di Zhiwei questioned, spitting fire. "I have a chance; I have a heart."

Jiang Jie's eyes changed; then he casually put down the cigarette and lighter, next tore Di Di Zhiwei's hand off his shirt, revealing an expression that if Di Di Zhiwei wanted to fight him, he would absolutely accompany him; at this moment he really wanted to find someone to beat up properly.

"Di Zhiwei, give up this thought!"

"Cousin, if you don't want her, why can't I want her?"

"Who said I don't want her?"

"You hate women; you fundamentally don't want to marry or settle down. You did it for Grandfather's inheritance, you did it to gather the bid deposit. Now that your American ship contract has been won, you should set her free!" Di Di Zhiwei said fiercely.

"People change..." Jiang Jie did not want to say more.

"You are deliberately opposing me!"

"Di Zhiwei, be mature, will you?"

"Cousin, clearly I could give her happiness; why did you have sex with her?" Di Di Zhiwei could not understand this point. "What woman can't you get, why did you have to ruin her?"

"She did it willingly!" Jiang Jie shouted at his cousin.

"You must have threatened her."

"Di Di Zhiwei, shut your mouth."

"But I don't care." Di Di Zhiwei displayed the grace and magnanimity a man should have. "Cousin, I don't care that she had sex with you, I don't care which man she had relations with, as long as... as long as I am her last man."

Jiang Jie was shocked into complete immobility.

"I like her; I don't care how many men she has had sex with, even if one of them is my own cousin!" Di Di Zhiwei's reckless madness and obsession made him look less like a playboy and more like a devoted great lover.

"You really don't care?!"

"I don't care about things I fundamentally cannot care about."

"Do you really love her so much?"

"I said I like her."

"Liking is not equal to loving." His words gave Jiang Jie a place to attack him. "You are a playboy..."

"Jiang Jie, you just said people change."

"Sorry, Bai Bai Ziling is still mine."

"I... I will tell Uncle that there was no pregnancy at all." Di Di Zhiwei had lost his reason from anger.

"It's a fake marriage! You have no sincerity at all; if Grandfather knew from the underworld, he would surely jump up to condemn you; you actually dare to play with the dead."

"I can transfer five hundred million yuan back to Uncle first thing tomorrow morning." Jiang Jie did not care at all. "I can even add one hundred million yuan in interest for him; are you satisfied?"

"Are you relying on your wealth?" If he hadn't known he absolutely couldn't beat his cousin, Di Di Zhiwei would have struck already.

"Di Zhiwei, I just want you to cut off this thought."

"You don't love her anyway."

"You fundamentally don't know what I am thinking in my heart."

"Then what are you thinking in your heart?"

Jiang Jie would not say; he only knew that that slap might have truly scattered the fate between him and Bai Bai Ziling, but she had indeed provoked him to an unbearable degree. Compared to the harm Yu Zi Si Qi gave him, Bai Bai Ziling had already wounded his internal organs; he had been hurt by her to the point he didn't know if there could ever be a day of healing.

"Speak! Jiang Jie, do you have no words left?" Di Di Zhiwei snorted. "Bai Bai Ziling will never forgive you!"

"Did she say that to you?" Jiang Jie frowned.

"She only wants to know when your divorce agreement will arrive."

"It won't arrive!"

"Do you really want to keep her by your side?"

Jiang Jie looked toward a distant spot outside the window; of course he wanted to keep her by his side. These days, he only then realized that having her by his side was a kind of happiness: living under the same roof, breathing the same air, sleeping in the same bed, eating at the same table—this... was happiness.

But could he still possess this happiness?

Bai Bai Ziling was half-crouching, tying the shoelaces for a little boy. When she patted the little boy's head and straightened up, she suddenly saw Jiang Jie; love and hate were both written in her eyes.

"Bai Ziling." He no longer called her by her full name now, as if the two of them had already cleared up after the storm and everything bad was in the past.

"Do you think you are very capable?" She accused him right off the bat.

"I..." He hadn't yet figured out what she was referring to!

"Why did you come to harass me?"

"I am here to take you back."

"Take me back?"

"Legally..."

"Don't talk to me about the law!" If she hadn't been afraid of scaring the children nearby, Bai Bai Ziling would have already lunged at him to teach him a lesson. "If you have the guts, sue me. Let's meet in court and see which side the judge stands on."

Jiang Jie looked at her with patience, as if he had already made up his mind to yield to her, endure her, and let her have her way, as a form of atonement!

"You will return immediately."

"Unless you go with me."

"Jiang Jie, there is a cliff five minutes up the road. If you leap from it, even if you don't shatter into pieces, you will certainly be disfigured beyond recognition. Do you wish to force me to that point?" Bai Bai Ziling asked with a "sweet smile."

"I am not trying to force you; I simply want to make amends to you."

"This amends comes too late."

"You can punish me, as long as it is within my power."

"But I want neither your amends nor to punish you; I only want my original simple life!" she shouted hoarsely.

"A simple life..." he repeated.

"Yes! A simple life without you."

"Bai Bai Ziling, there cannot be absolutely no feeling between us; otherwise, you would not have given yourself to me that night. Of course, I know you are angry with me, hate me, and resent me, but these things can be overcome and made up for!"

"Where do you intend to start making amends?" she asked him sorrowfully. "From the very first day I moved into your house, I hoped to be your true wife. I did not want that to be merely three months of acting. I hoped you would fall in love with me, I hoped you would want to keep me by your side..."

"I am now trying to..."

"But how did you treat me during those two months?" she felt unworthy of herself. "I was only slightly more useful than the furniture in your house. I am alive, I have feelings, and I suffer!"

"I didn't know..."

"But you didn't want to understand me; you only wanted time to pass quickly so you could end all of this!" Bai Bai Ziling stated his mindset at that time.

"I admit my fault; I apologize to you."

"It's useless!"

"Bai Bai Ziling, people must look forward. Even a murderer, even a criminal sentenced to life imprisonment, still has a chance for redemption or a possibility of a reduced sentence. Why can't you give me one more chance?" Jiang Jie spoke with some anger. "Let me be your husband for a lifetime!"

"A lifetime..." she felt like crying.

"It is not too late!"

"For you, it is not too late..."

"Bai Bai Ziling, is your head filled with cement or garbage? Can't you think of something beautiful? Besides hate... do you truly have no other, more emotional feelings for me?" Not wanting to remain in the position of being attacked, Jiang Jie began to counterattack.

Bai Bai Ziling fell silent out of pique.

"Nothing is impossible to restart." he scolded her.

"You are truly arrogant!"

"I will never allow myself to lose you."

"You have already lost!"

"Bai Bai Ziling, you are not a woman who will sleep with anyone, nor will you cuckold me. We can live a good life together." He reached out his hand, wanting to show her his sincerity and true heart.

But Bai Bai Ziling slapped his hand away; she accepted nothing from him, especially since the children beside them had been watching their quarrel for quite a while.

"Leave! Do not set a bad example for these children."

"You really will not go with me?"

"No!"

"What about your coffee shop?"

"If it closes, so be it!"

"Do you really intend to stay on this mountain?"

"I have already grown to like it here." Bai Bai Ziling was not lying; she noticed Tong Yiwen had been watching them, but she did not intervene, merely observing them silently. "Let's go! My cousin is already watching."

"I will come again." he declared.

"I will disappear again."

"No matter where you hide, I will find you!"

After Jiang Jie had walked for a while, Tong Yiwen came to Bai Bai Ziling's side; she was not there to pry, but simply to express what she had seen and felt.

"Very cool, very handsome, a man who feels very powerful, as if no one or nothing in this world could obstruct or shake his determination. Bai Bai Ziling, is this man troubling you?" Tong Yiwen asked, knowing the answer.

"Cousin..."

"When you stand together, you look very well-matched, like a Jin Tongyunu."

"That is an illusion."

"Can you truly harden your heart and refuse him?"

"He could harden his heart and hurt me until I was utterly broken; why can't I harden my heart?" Bai Bai Ziling spoke somewhat insincerely; actually, her heart was gradually softening, after all, he had bowed his head to her again and again, but thinking of her mood when she left his house that morning...

It was truly hard for her to let go!

On a rainy afternoon with a downpour, Di Di Zhiwei also arrived at the kindergarten on Xindian Mountain; Jiang Jie had told him Bai Bai Ziling's whereabouts, perhaps thinking he could bring Bai Bai Ziling back to Taipei!

Coincidentally, Bai Bai Ziling was taking a little boy with a fever home, so Di Di Zhiwei faced a woman who looked somewhat like an old maid, yet possessed sharp eyes and was very mature.

"I want to wait for Bai Bai Ziling to return." Di Di Zhiwei said politely.

"You are..." Tong Yiwen asked with a sharp gaze; Bai Bai Ziling had never mentioned this person, and this fellow looked

different from the man last time, with a more roguish and dashing air; one could tell at a glance he was not a proper, upright man.

"I am Bai Bai Ziling's friend."

"I am Bai Bai Ziling's cousin."

"Hello, cousin." he said wittily.

"I'm not so 'venerable in age and virtue' that you can call me 'cousin.' Do you have something to see Bai Bai Ziling about?" Tong Yiwen's guarded question came; she didn't want to see more inexplicable people bothering her cousin again.

"It's something." He felt this woman was somewhat difficult to deal with.

"What is it?"

"Wait until I see Bai Bai Ziling, I..." Di Di Zhiwei didn't want to offend this woman who looked so sternly serious.

"If it isn't something very important, I don't want you to disturb her." Tong Yiwen was essentially ordering him to leave.

"It concerns her life's happiness; do you say that's important or not?" Di Di Zhiwei was getting a bit angry.

"Her life's happiness? With you?!"

"Is that not allowed? Cousin—"

"Sir, I am quite certain my age is not greater than yours, so you need not call me 'cousin' this and 'cousin' that, nor try to claim kinship with me; I cannot bear it. Bai Bai Ziling's mood is somewhat confused right now, but I believe her confusion did not arise because of you." Tong Yiwen had clashed with him; she found this fellow unpleasant to look at.

"I am Di Di Zhiwei; Bai Bai Ziling may have mentioned me to you."

"She has not mentioned a character like you to me."

"But I have some 'connection' with her." Di Di Zhiwei was starting to feel a bit fed up; now there were actually young "old maids"? She looked like those stern, unsmiling dorm matrons from the past, but after looking at her for a while, he felt she was quite easy on the eyes and had a certain charm.

"Heaven knows." She said sternly.

"I can wait outside..."

"It is raining heavily outside."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter; if you catch pneumonia from the rain..." Tong Yiwen caught sight of her cousin's figure; Bai Bai Ziling under a floral umbrella looked fragile and defenseless. "Do not bother Bai Bai Ziling; I warn you first."

"I..."

"Di Di Zhiwei!" Bai Bai Ziling put away her umbrella; upon seeing Di Di Zhiwei's profile, she couldn't help but let out a low exclamation. He had come too?

Di Di Zhiwei immediately walked toward her, relieved. At his age, he had never encountered a woman as terrifying, as dreadful, and as lacking in femininity as Bai Bai Ziling's cousin; he actually wanted to flee or stand at attention.

"You didn't get wet, did you?" He asked with immediate concern.

"Who told you that?"

"Jiang Jie; isn't that incredible?"

"You made this trip for nothing." Bai Bai Ziling placed the umbrella in the stand; with her cousin beside her, she felt very secure. "Go back quickly; otherwise, the mountain road will be hard to drive on once it gets dark and rains heavily again."

"Bai Bai Ziling, how long can you hide here?"

"As long as I can hide."

"Your coffee shop will go bankrupt!"

"The money to open the coffee shop was given by Jiang Jie; if it fails..." Bai Bai Ziling had truly come to terms with it. "It just means I have no connection with him at all."

"You're stupid!"

"Di Di Zhiwei, stop bothering me."

Di Di Zhiwei, who had wanted to say something more, suddenly heard someone clearing their throat; he knew it was Bai Bai Ziling's cousin, so he pulled Bai Bai Ziling outside the principal's office. Although he would get splashed by rain, it was better than being stared at by that woman; he was afraid of her.

"Di Di Zhiwei, we have nothing to say to each other!" Bai Bai Ziling looked at the heavy raindrops like pearls. "It is the same with Jiang Jie, and it is the same with you; you are both wasting time."

"Bai Bai Ziling, do I really have not even the slightest chance..." Di Di Zhiwei prepared to give up; although he was very disappointed and helpless, he also knew that matters of the heart could not be forced.

"How many times do I have to say it?"

"If it's a fake marriage..." he asked tentatively: "I haven't received my grandfather's five hundred million yet."

"Your uncle will slaughter you two cousins; even if you want to scam money, you should find a 'new face'." Bai Bai Ziling laughed. "Di Di Zhiwei, you are not as smart as I imagined!"

"Love makes a person stupid." Di Di Zhiwei teased her.

"There is no love between us."

"Then what about friendship?" he asked seriously.

"Friendship..." Bai Bai Ziling looked at him. "Yes! I can accept your friendship; it would be better if we were friends."

"Sigh..." Di Di Zhiwei sighed heavily, somewhat self-mocking. "I originally thought that braving such heavy rain to come up the mountain would move you deeply and make you understand my sincerity, but it seems... everything I do is superfluous."

"Not superfluous; you have gained a friend." She smiled and patted him.

"I have no record of 'defeat' yet, Bai Bai Ziling; it's all your fault!"

"No one can remain a victor forever."