Chapter 142: Not even a moment to mourn the death god, immediately

Although Ji Ming and Bai Yesheng are both slack-off players, the closed beta theoretically only had a hundred people.

Now everyone is desperately pulling the monsters away from Dog Dog Village, even the fishing-type players have grabbed their fishing rods and bravely joined the fight.

If we keep slacking off, we really won't be able to justify it…

"Since the Goblin Tribe is still in a state of universal berserk, that means their intelligence probably hasn't improved at all."

"So the only one in the tribe capable of thought is none other than the Mad King, and looking at this situation, his intelligence isn't high either."

"Even though Bai Yesheng's map isn't as complete as Ji Ming's, with so many players sharing their vision, we can still clearly see the goblin army's current disposition and direction of movement."

Sitting on the bench in the Holy Hall, she took out the system's built-in electronic pen and began to write and draw on it.

When Bai Yesheng gets serious, she still has a touch of literary temperament—if only her expression weren't so agitated.

"Look, the players' methods are actually rather crude; any commander with a bit of sense can tell this is luring the enemy deeper in."

"Actually, at this point we should be contracting our lines, even triggering reverse psychology, doing the opposite."

"Even if we can't disrupt them, we at least need to avoid falling into the enemy's rhythm, lest we lose the initiative."

"But the Mad King, swept up by anger, keeps dispatching troops outward—like a donkey chasing a carrot, truly foolish to death!"

Seeing her speak with flowery, exaggerated gestures, she looked utterly convinced.

Ji Ming listened for a while, then scratched his head.

"Although it makes sense, are you just trying to show off in front of me with all that analysis?"

"What I mean is, shouldn't you just post it directly on the public screen?"

Bai Yesheng's expression stiffened a moment.

"I... I'm beautiful and kind-hearted, so I prefer to stay low-key and avoid the spotlight."

Her lie was more clumsy than the Mad King's strategy, but the kind and benevolent Ji Ming didn't directly call her out; instead, he slightly sidestepped the issue.

"No, your social anxiety seems pretty severe—don't tell me you've gone this long without making any friends?"

"This..."

"No way~"

Ji Ming looked concerned and lowered his voice.

"Could it be that before meeting us in the game, you only knew online friends? That's kinda sad."

"Actually, online friends too... ah, what's it to you!"

Bai Yesheng quickly drew several circles on the map and labeled them 'gap' beside them.

Then she raised her hand high and slapped the map, together with it, onto Ji Ming's face.

"You ungrateful wretch, you don't even want a chance to step into the spotlight, do you!"

"You... when I hit you I hold back, yet you really go for the old-timer coins without holding back, huh!"

After rubbing his reddened cheeks, Ji Ming pulled the system frame that had 'clipped' into his mind, took a screenshot, and posted it to the public screen.

Crooked Neck Tree: 【Everyone's doing well, but these spots might let goblins slip through; please anyone with remaining strength head here】

Just as working in real life doesn't affect slacking off, the players on the public screen kept chatting; seeing a strange ID pop up and post a picture, they all gathered around to watch.

【Any experts?】

【@Hua Kaifugui, requesting strategic support】

Hua Kaifugui: 【Haha, I'm not exactly a professional either, but I think what you said makes some sense】

Qiang Bing Bu Qi: 【(screenshot) I've already arrived at this spot; sure enough, goblins have slipped out—thanks for the heads-up, friend (fist salute)】

Yingdao Maiyi: 【(screenshot) 8 said, the brothers have already rushed to this circle; everyone's been notified—don't really let any slip through!】

Feihuo Liuxing: 【(screenshot) I'll also report—our squad has already arrived here】

【Damn, they're all experts!】

Then Ji Ming received friend requests from several people, including Qiang Ge and Hua Shu.

Helpless, he could only approve them one by one.

Besides the usual greetings and several squad invitations, Qiang Ge added an extra line.

【Friend, may I ask boldly, is this written by your grandniece?】

【Yeah, she's a bit shy about stepping into the spotlight, so as her elder I'm handling it for her】

【Thanks for the effort, appreciate the share (fist salute)】

After politely declining all the invitations and exchanging a couple of pleasantries with Hua Shu, having been busy all afternoon, Ji Ming finally prepared to close the chat window.

But before his finger could even hit the 【X】, Bai Yesheng, who had been peeking at the screen for a while, grabbed him.

"【Don't be polite, this is what we should do—players ought to help each other and keep in touch from now on】……"

"「Geez, how did you manage to type out something so cheesy? 」"

Ji Ming turned his face, looking puzzled.

"「Is it really that cheesy? I think it's just basic courtesy toward strangers. 」"

"「Is that really the case? 」"

"「That's right—when I used to work, I treated my company colleagues and teammates from other departments this way. 」"

Bai Yesheng slowly shrank back, sizing up Ji Ming as if meeting him for the first time, and hesitated.

"「You... you wouldn't happen to be a playboy, would you? 」"

"「Ha! 」"

Ji Ming, feeling a bit smug, leaned back on the bench and flicked his sideburns.

"「There really are many female coworkers in the office who claim their cats know the Wild Wind Absolute Slash or their dogs know the Blade Waltz……」"

"「But! 」"

"「They're just not old enough, their charm is too low, none of them qualify to develop with me, so I've firmly rejected them all. 」"

Wait a moment!

Bai Yesheng cut him off.

What you're saying isn't big enough; could it be that kind of "not big enough" you were just bragging about in the group?

What bragging? I was clearly speaking the truth!

Ji Ming replied firmly, then began cracking his knuckles.

Height six to eight and a half meters, weight twenty-two tons, all-metal build, red‑blue‑white color scheme, deep voice, loyal and reliable, preferably able to transform into a big truck…

Bai Yesheng felt more and more that something was off.

…Damn, you couldn't be talking about Optimus Prime, could you?!

Exactly.

Ji Ming devoutly pressed his palms together.

My biggest dream is to cover big brother in foam, plug the horn, then really give it to the exhaust pipe…

Uh… ahhh!

Bai Yesheng immediately let out an indescribable shriek.

But the cry cut off midway.

Because…

【Your friend Aurora Dance: offline】

?

【Come back, aluminum alloy, come back】

After several minutes had passed, Bai Yesheng reappeared not far away.

Enough, don't say more; your XP system is weird as hell, I'm actually a bit scared!

She turned her head and pushed another map over, with a new circle drawn on it.

Let's go here, can we drop this topic? I'm a frail‑type beautiful girl, my heart can't take it!

Damn it, what did we mechanophiles do to you?

Muttering a sentence, Ji Ming and she went together through the teleportation hall to the armory.

Even a cornered rabbit will bite, let alone a goblin?

Although the Mad King temporarily couldn't grasp the players' intentions, he still knew the "add fuel" tactic, so the number of members in the goblin scout squad has now doubled compared to before.

Wandering through the ruins, the two quickly found such a squad.

How about it, dare to take on ten goblins?

What's there to fear? As long as you lure the monsters up front, I'll keep dealing damage from behind—ten, even twenty, is fine!

That was said cheerfully, but…

How did it just get assumed I'm the one luring the aggro?!

Seeing everyone else grabbing bows and scouting positions, Ji Ming had no choice but to pull out his sword and shield and join them.

For him now, beating a few goblins is naturally a piece of cake.

So the only difficulty now is probably… how to fight them without it being too easy?

Therefore, when he closed in and came face‑to‑face with the goblins, both sides ended up staring at each other.

…Should I just charge in or first test the waters?

…Guh, what is this weird human doing?

Until an arrow flew overhead and struck one goblin's neck, did both sides snap out of it.

Guh, hahaha!!!

The goblins charged like a bunch of monkeys waving sticks, shouting loudly, but what met them was Ji Ming's shield swung hard.

Real combat is the best teacher; this is the fighting style the players have summed up during this period.

Although chopping with blades and axes works well, when facing these little things attacking in a group, one should still prioritize expanding one's attack area.

To focus on repelling the enemy and injuring them second is the true way.

In fact, that's exactly the case—not even compared to Ji Ming, even if you stood before the players, the berserk goblins' pitiful stats are desperately weak; even a blunt weapon swing is enough to leave them dazed.

In the collisions, their howls instantly turned into screams; the fastest chargers turned straight into rolling gourds.

In a daze, Ji Ming couldn't help recalling the days when he played Mount & Blade II, smashing shields and kicking wildly in the arena.

Alas, warm times are always fleeting; occasional cold arrows would fly in and ruin all his nostalgia.

Although they all hit the goblins' bodies, Ji Ming always felt they were aimed at him.

Once might be coincidence, twice might be illusion, but three times, four times…

【Hey, can you steady your aim when you shoot arrows? I keep feeling like I'm about to get hit.】

【Then don't keep jumping around, it's really hard for me!】

……

【Hey, why is your shield rushing toward me?】

【Thanks for the invite, I'm scared of gun‑specific feels】

With a kick he sent a little green‑skin flying; Ji Ming felt this anger couldn't just be let go.

You screwed me over, so I'll screw Ning!

He deliberately let a goblin slip past, letting it slowly approach Bai Yesheng.

Unfortunately, besides intelligence, the difference between humans and goblins also lies in body size.

Places humans can climb, goblins usually cannot.

So it can only, like a zombie in MC, lift its head and stare at that damned human woman on the platform, continuously firing arrows.

No way at all, standing like a watchman.

In the end, the commotion was too great, and Bai Yesheng spotted it, raised a hand and killed it with a spear thrust.

【Wai Shu, why are you blocking the monster?】

【I'm fighting so many alone; it's hard for me too!】

The ten goblins were quickly wiped out, but Ji Ming felt this was more exhausting than just charging in himself.

During the repair break, he received a message from Xi Er Wei Ya.

【How's it going? Have you found the reason the Goblin Mad King regained his senses?】

【My lord, I have discovered traces of magic here at the garrison camp.】

I can't tell whether it's decisive or foolish, but the whole Goblin Tribe suddenly poured out.

In the huge garrison camp, now there's nothing left.

Xi Er Wei Ya then strolled leisurely into the long‑decayed castle and arrived before the duke's chair seized by the Mad King.

Although she claims to belong to the combat division and her study of magic isn't deep, that's only relative, and besides…

【I discussed with Bu Long Fei Er De and Ge Ruisen, and the conclusion we reached is that this should be a long‑range, mind‑type magic.】

【And according to Cloi, the caster should be very familiar with the bizarre, and might even be a bizarre mage himself.】

【He didn't enter the closed‑beta site; instead, he connected remotely with the Mad King and fed him the idea of attacking us.】

Ji Ming doesn't understand, but a leader only needs to pretend to understand.

So he replied calmly.

【Not bad, regarding this conclusion, how confident are you?】

【Magic is a profoundly mysterious thing; we've been away from this world for millennia, with no contact to the outside, many things we dare not state definitively, but this is the most reliable hypothesis so far.】

……

Hiss.

The angels were supposed to be pure, how can they phrase the blame so perfectly…

However, objectively speaking, the Goblin Mad King's move actually helped Ji Ming.

But subjectively, whether it's probing or provocation, striking first without a word, it's all done with malice.

The game's closed beta is of great importance; it must not be interfered with or destroyed by outsiders.

After working so long, spending so much energy, nurturing so many, wasn't it all for today?

He fell silent for a moment, and Ji Ming formed a rough plan in his mind.

【Bu Long Fei Er De, I want you to go immediately to the north of the training ground, keep an eye on those bizarre undead, and if they move, retain the right to strike first.】

【Also, know that I'm being very serious now; if any problem arises in the dungeon, you won't be able to find a place to sleep (angry)!】

……

Bu Long Fei Er De: 【Villain!】

Watching a particularly large green dot on the map fly rapidly northward, Ji Ming continued typing.

【Then Ge Ruisen, while keeping the northern surveillance network unchanged, expand its scope and also set up hidden sentries at the garrison camp.】

【Next, I permit you to provide limited assistance to players retreating to Sacred Tree Lake; specific actions can wait for my orders.】

Ge Ruisen: 【Understood, deploying reserve tree spirits.】

【Xi Er Wei Ya, according to criminal psychology, a wizard who shows his head and tail will surely be unable to resist coming back to look.】

【I will, at dawn, devise a ruthless act that will force him to connect with the Mad King; then I'll rely on you to keep watch.】

Xi Er Wei Ya: 【Understood, I have prepared the tracking magic.】

【Huo Ke, I have issued you a full‑body armor set and a giant cleaver; did you see it?】

……

Huo Ke: 【Saw it, saw.】

Huo Ke: 【Sorry, I'm still not good at operating this thing.】

【No problem, your mission is simple: assist players in protecting the villagers of Dog Village.】

【Rest assured, Xi Er Wei Ya will revive magic; as an honored orc warrior, you can fight without fear of life or death.】

Huo Ke: 【WAAAGH!】

……

【Cloi, you're peeking at me, right?】

Cloi: 【Huh? You still have business with me?】

【You've been doing well lately, so your task is also simple: just cooperate with Ge Ruisen and Bu Long Fei Er De to hold the northern front.】

【As an external staff, this is also your chance to clear your name and become a regular, so perform well, understand?】

……

Cloi: 【May I ask? What happens if I don't perform well?】

【(Smiling) I will have you sit at the same table with Chuan Xiden, wearing paper diapers inside and out.】

Cloi: 【?】

Although he didn't know what Chuan Xiden was, Cloi's anus tightened, and he quickly pledged his loyalty.

【Rest assured! Rest assured! I'm risking my life!】

Having arranged the Production Team's internal staff work, Ji Ming quickly contacted his superiors again.

【Boss, I've already drafted tonight's unexpected response plan, so do you have any leads?】

Yang Yue still gave a reliable instant reply.

【There's nothing left to add; awaiting good news.】

Even the will of the world says so, and Ji Ming feels relieved.

He rubs his slightly swollen temples and squeezes into the roofless, collapsed ruins.

"Everyone's still fighting; have you finally rested? We should set off!"

"Let's go, let's go, let's go…"

The players improve rapidly, fully displaying their innate guerrilla‑tactics within just a few hours.

When a lone goblin appears, he devours it in one bite; when a small group appears, he surrounds and exterminates; when a large horde appears, he coordinates a joint slaughter; when the main force appears…

Big Mushroom: 【I must share this hopeful video with everyone (crying X3)】

The video's protagonist is undoubtedly Death God; it's unclear how he did it, but he actually touched the core of the goblin army.

Amid the encirclement by several goblin soldiers and warriors, he darts left and right, his agility deadly.

Relying on his smaller target, he focuses on slipping into the blind spots of those big oafs.

Not even a single leaf touches him; he even causes multiple friendly‑fire incidents among them.

But none of this is his goal.

As he gradually approaches the Mad King, his wrist twitches, and he somehow grabs a bottle of poison‑gas bomb.

He pours the remaining liquid onto a broom made of a dead branch, then sharply raises his long weapon, assuming the opening stance of 【Heavy Slash】.

Logically, even though they're close, a 【Heavy Slash】 at this distance could never land.

But one can only say he's truly a top‑tier master with an extremely high 【Barbaric Charge】 talent, praised even by Huo Ke.

He astonishingly triggers the technique after only three strides, and just as the 【Heavy Slash】 finishes charging and is about to strike, he activates 【Barbaric Charge】.

The calculation is flawless; when 【Barbaric Charge】 ends, he arrives right before the unguarded Mad King, swinging his feces‑soaked broom.

Mad King:?

Mad King:!

Mad King:!!!

【Sound too low ahead, please turn up to max】

"Waa!"

Feces drenches his head as the three‑meter‑tall giant green‑skinned creature lets out a deafening scream.

The pitch‑black liquid splashes onto its green skin—pitiful, like a clown!

He grabs Qiu Yi's body wildly and, in the next second, tears it in two.

But Death God shows no fear; he remains calm, even raising his thumb high in triumph.

"Pee, pee, pee!"

The Mad King, torn between wiping his face and daring not to, can only scream with his eyes shut.

Yet not a moment is spent mourning Qiu Yi's death; the next to arrive on the battlefield is…

"Oli Gei, let's do it, brothers!"

The same lone thrust, the same reckless charge, the same poison‑gas bomb liquid dripping.

The difference is that this gourmet wields a mop made of bundled rags.

Moreover, his opening stance is not the high‑raised 【Heavy Slash】 but a backward‑charging 【Straight Thrust】.

"We don't eat the good or the pricey; today Old Eight will give you something crunchy!"

Under the combo of 【Barbaric Charge】, he instantly closes in on the Mad King.

His urine‑soaked mop, steady, thrusts straight into the king's mouth.

……

【Graphic content, adults please watch with minors】

Roaring, he tears again; the Mad King's face is already streaming with tears.

The five senses collapse, life and death hang upside down, wishing to end it all right now.

Yet not a moment is spent mourning Oli Gei's death; the next to arrive on the battlefield is…

Uh.

【Strongly request the officials lower Death God's and the gourmet's respawn CD, top support!】

【Without these two deities, the game's fun would be halved, difficulty doubled!】

【By the way, how is the skill combo done? Big boss, can you teach?】

Just seeking death: 【cough, I also stumbled upon it by accident】

It is well known that MOBA games basically all have a "blink reposition" mechanic.

After discovering that 【Barbaric Charge】 carries an inherent unyielding, or rather forced, displacement mechanic, Qiu Yi thought of this setting.

For ordinary players, aside from whether they can learn it, releasing a skill consumes a lot of stamina; you can barely use it a few times a day.

But Qiu Yi is different; lying at level one, he can rely on respawn to reset stamina, allowing repeated attempts.

Finally, at dusk he figured out the timing to chain two skills together, invented a combo and shared it with Oli Gei.

Oli Gei was already resentful, but forced himself to learn it, displaying the scene just now.

Even with combo skills, at only level one they have virtually no chance of harming a goblin Mad King above level ten, but the poison bomb provides a way.

Physical attacks fail, magical attacks won't work; I'll go straight for a chemical attack!

Now the goblin Mad King declares paralysis; don't expect recovery for hours.

And before fainting, his final command is.

"At any cost, find the humans' lair and kill them all!"

Thus the brain‑less goblin army, having received such an order, turned into rabid dogs.

Players chase wherever they go, with no strategy left at all.

Fu Le is truly having fun this time.

【Good opportunity, everyone can gather now, pretend to be defeated and flee, and directly pull them toward Sacred Tree Lake!】