Chapter 218: The Concrete and the Ideal

The autumn is deep and the dew is heavy.

Chen Shu touched his hair; it was already somewhat damp.

The guards at the entrance did not give Dharma Master Tongzhi too much trouble; they only performed a basic inspection before letting him in—naturally, when they encounter compatriots in need abroad, as long as it is not an extremely urgent military mission, they will provide appropriate assistance. Moreover, the Gate of All Wonders had confirmed Dharma Master Tongzhi's identity, and since Colonel Song had nodded, there was no problem.

"I sleep with Brother Wuming, but I am on guard duty tonight, so Brother Tongzhi can go rest in my room."

"I do not want to sleep..."

"Then let us chat."

The Gate of All Wonders checked the time; it was only past eight, and he would not start his shift until twelve, so he led Dharma Master Tongzhi into his room.

Wuming Ren Shi naturally followed behind.

Chen Shu and Zhang Suannai exchanged a glance and followed them in, then used their eyes to question each other about why they were following.

The room of the Gate of All Wonders and Wuming Ren Shi was exactly the same as the others: square, furnished with two single beds and an old wooden table, on which a washbasin and toiletries were neatly placed.

"The room is simple."

"It is not simple, not simple at all." Zhang Suannai waved her hand while casually finding a bed to sit on, crossing her legs and shaking her toes, then asked offhandedly, "Little Daoist, what time is your guard shift tonight?"

"Twelve o'clock."

"I really envy you guys, still being able to stand guard at night." Zhang Suannai clicked her tongue twice, "They won't let me stand guard."

"Because the night shift is a two-person post," the Gate of All Wonders said, "It might be for the sake of the other soldier on duty, considering Officer Song's decision."

"What did you say?"

"Amitabha, I said nothing." The Gate of All Wonders lowered his head and chanted the Buddha's name.

"I've noticed that when you're up to no good, you chant Amitabha, and only when something good happens do you chant to the Heavenly Venerable." After Zhang Suannai finished speaking, she thought for a moment and then said to Dharma Master Tongzhi, "Don't you guys protect the dignity of your Buddhist Sect? Beat him up!"

"Amitabha, the Buddha's name is just a form; if the heart is sincere, chant it sincerely, and if the heart is not, chanting it casually is also fine. You can chant it, he can chant it, all is acceptable."

"Oh my! You guys are quite magnanimous!"

"Amitabha..."

Dharma Master Tongzhi did not seem to be in a very talkative mood.

The Gate of All Wonders glanced at Chen Shu, Zhang Suannai, and Wuming Ren Shi, thought for a moment, and asked: "Has Brother Tongzhi been here for a year?"

"More than a year."

"Then the war had just broken out when you arrived, right?"

"Yes."

"Have you been doing well this past year?"

"Since I came to search, whether it is good or not is irrelevant..." Dharma Master Tongzhi frowned and paused, "The conditions here are naturally not as good as back home, but if disciples from the major sects come here to cultivate, it is quite suitable."

"Then I will reply to Dharma Master Tongdeng like this."

"Sorry for the trouble."

"No trouble, no trouble at all."

The Gate of All Wonders continued to eye Dharma Master Tongdeng, his eyes gleaming. He was silent for another moment before saying: "Brother can be said to have witnessed this war from a single spark to sweeping across half the country; have you gained anything?"

"I am deeply ashamed..."

Dharma Master Tongzhi's voice was low and flat, but his brows were always subconsciously furrowed, and the fatigue and bewilderment on his face could not be shaken off. Even though he appeared to be attentively answering the Gate of All Wonders' concern, it seemed as if a strand of his mind was always being pulled by other matters.

"The cruelty of war and the darkness of the human heart are more complex than I imagined," Dharma Master Tongzhi said. "When I arrived, I intended to help the people of Duqin, but I soon discovered that no matter what, I could not help them all. I did not even know whom to help. Sometimes I saved a person, only to find shortly after that he had become an abuser, yet I truly knew that it was not his fault; the person I had saved was indeed a good person. Sometimes, when an evil person fell before me, and I looked into his eyes, what I saw in them and on him made me unable to help but want to reach out to him. Yet he had clearly just committed an unforgivable crime."

"Is Brother lost?" the Gate of All Wonders probed.

"I was lost for a moment, but I soon realized that people are always complex; good people have evil in them, and evil people have good. There are countless atrocities in war, but the essence of war is the result of many evil thoughts and errors gathered together. Some participated in starting the war, while others were simply pushed by the war toward the unknown," Dharma Master Tongzhi said. "When I first saw a young man in Kuho wantonly beating and insulting an elderly man passing by, simply because the old man disagreed with his political views, my heart at that moment was as shocked and confused as that old man's."

"Later, I learned that before the war broke out, that young man was a reserved lad. The old man would pass by the grocery store in front of his house in the evening, and they knew each other. I have imagined the scene if this war had not happened: that young man would have been a person with a good reputation in the neighborhood, would likely have married the neighbor's daughter, would have had a few children, would have worked hard to earn money to support his family, would have tried to give his children fatherly love, and would have lived a very ordinary and plain life, just like those around him or us who are already married with children."

"Until the war appeared, he joined the Watcher militia, and everything changed. He committed evil deeds that would make him regret his life. But the more I understand him, the harder it is for me to determine whether he is an evil person or a good person."

"It is the war's fault," the Gate of All Wonders said.

"I think so too, but I do not know how to end this war, and I cannot bring myself to turn a blind eye," Dharma Master Tongzhi said.

The Gate of All Wonders was silent.

Chen Shu, beside him, was also silent.

In this world, there exist stubborn diseases that "everyone knows about but is powerless to change," such as the evil hidden in the human heart, which even gods cannot eradicate. However, we cannot advise others to turn a blind eye to it, telling them, "You are just a mortal, don't waste your effort, don't rack your brains over this," because these people are, after all, working hard to change it bit by bit, making the world better bit by bit. As bystanders, it is already quite ungracious of us to stand by and watch; if we were to also enjoy the fruits of their labor while making sarcastic remarks, it would be truly inexcusable.

Therefore, even Zhang Suannai, who was beside them, did not make a sound.

Wuming Ren Shi remained silent throughout.

"Sigh..."

The Gate of All Wonders let out a long sigh. His peripheral vision swept over Wuming Ren Shi, and he keenly sensed the change in his inner state, but he had no time to delve into it, for there were more important things before him now.

"Brother, is this the reason for your inner loss?" the Gate of All Wonders said. "If this continues, I fear it will become a Xinxie. Your future is boundless; you must not be trapped here."

"You saw it."

"Your sorrow is written on your face."

"..."

Dharma Master Tongzhi was silent for a long time, his gaze shifting, his heart struggling, but in the end, he uttered two words:

"It is not..."

"Hmm?"

"My Xinxie began a few days ago."

"Perhaps you can talk about it. Although I am a follower of the Daoist path, I know a little about Buddhist theories, and I also have some understanding of the Secret Sect System. Perhaps I cannot help you overcome your Xinxie, but with so many of us, someone will surely be able to give you some advice." The Gate of All Wonders looked at the people around him. He felt that Zhang Suannai's personality was always free and easy, careless, and her heart would never be burdened by these things; Chen Shu always gave him the impression of having a detached attitude toward the world. Perhaps these two could help with Brother Tongzhi's inner confusion.

"..."

Dharma Master Tongzhi was silent for a long time again before he spoke: "A few days ago, I came from Kuho and passed through a village. It had already been occupied by the Watchers, and when I passed by, there were Mercenaries from Lan Country running wild in the village... Have you seen the Mercenaries from Lan Country?"

"We have not encountered them on this trip yet," the Gate of All Wonders said.

"I have some understanding," Chen Shu said. "I hear that the Mercenary from Lan Country are conscripted troops. These people signed up voluntarily; some for money, some for other things. In short, military discipline is very chaotic."

"Night Person are inherently brutal, and Lan Country is a mess," Zhang Suannai said, then urged him repeatedly, "And then? And then?"

"And then... I hid in the shadows, watching them suffer slaughter and torture..."

"You didn't go up and fight them?" Zhang Suannai asked, puzzled.

Chen Shu had a realization; he pursed his lips and spoke: "Most of the Mercenary from Lan Country are retired elite soldiers from Lan Country. They are already well-trained, and on top of that, Lan Country provides them with the most advanced military equipment, which can be used for targeted strikes against Cultivator. Even if Dharma Master Tongzhi had gone, I'm afraid it would have been useless."

"Many thanks, Benefactor Chen, but there is no need."

Dharma Master Tongzhi pressed his palms together and lowered his eyelids:

"I was simply... Fear."

Dharma Master Tongzhi's expression was incomparably calm.

Yet, upon hearing this, everyone fell silent.

People can praise someone who is willing to sacrifice themselves for justice, but how can one look at someone with strange eyes simply because they are afraid of death?

"I watched helplessly as many civilians were killed for amusement by the Barbarians among the Mercenary, yet I did nothing. The Master was right; this heart of mine, which seemed to possess great kindness and love, is indeed hypocritical and hollow." Dharma Master Tongzhi's voice remained steady, but his gaze began to flicker.

"For Brother to think this way is of no benefit to cultivation," Gate of All Wonders frowned, not knowing what to do for a moment.

"If it were you all, what would you do?" Dharma Master Tongzhi asked.

"Was that a Hunter Unit?" Gate of All Wonders asked in return.

"Yes."

"Then..." Gate of All Wonders thought seriously, "I would probably be the same as Brother."

"I would have to look at the disparity in strength between the enemy and myself," Zhang Suannai said first. "If the gap was very large, I might also hide, then follow them and quietly kill them off one by one. If it wasn't very large, I would definitely go up and fight them, hit them once and run. Whatever chaos they cause later would have nothing to do with me; if I can't see it, it's as if it never happened."

The Nameless Person remained silent.

Chen Shu waved his hand, skipping this topic, because his answer was different from Gate of All Wonders', and even an answer like Zhang Suannai's would only make Dharma Master Tongzhi blame himself more.

This monk had a kind heart.

"Actually, each of us is a concrete person, not an ideal person. An ideal person is perfect, without flaws, and does not make mistakes, while a concrete person is inevitably flawed, a concrete world is inevitably imperfect, and concrete events will inevitably not develop according to our ideals. Moreover, a single choice cannot explain anything, because choices are interfered with by a lot of information. Perhaps you chose this way the day before yesterday, but if it were you yesterday, it would have been another choice."

As his voice fell, Gate of All Wonders, Dharma Master Tongzhi, and the Nameless Person all looked at him.

Chen Shu looked at Dharma Master Tongzhi with a puzzled tone: "Since you can accept concrete others, why can you not accept your concrete self?"

"..."

Dharma Master Tongzhi was dazed for a moment again, then replied: "Benefactor Chen does not know, but disciples of the Buddhist Sect all have the great aspiration to save the world and its people. If I didn't struggle in my heart, that would be one thing; perhaps I have other more important things to do, perhaps I would save the world from other angles, perhaps I am better at other methods—in short, I could deceive myself. But there was none. My heart was incomparably conflicted. Therefore, there is no other reason; I simply lacked the courage to sacrifice myself to save others, and lacked the determination to resist a strong enemy for my ideals."

"That is perfectly normal."

Chen Shu still looked at Dharma Master Tongzhi very calmly: "Just as I said before, concrete people are all flawed. If you peel back the skin and flesh of all the living beings in this world, you will find a mass of scarlet blood and flesh inside. If you peel back their thoughts, you will find that many decisions hide filthy little things that cannot be told to others.

"But this is nothing.

"You must learn to accept this point and realize that the ideal self is not the real self. Otherwise, the more you think you should be like the ideal self, like the Buddha in Buddhist scriptures, the more you will feel that your concrete self is so unbearable. And even the Buddha, in the reality detached from the scriptures, must have been flawed.

"And courage is precisely the scarcest of all human traits; lacking courage is also the most common human flaw. Most people in this world are like this—cowardly, yet yearning for bravery, imagining bravery. It doesn't matter; this is not special."

Upon hearing this, Gate of All Wonders couldn't help but look around, discovering that Zhang Suannai was frowning with a solemn expression, the Nameless Person remained silent, and Dharma Master Tongzhi's gaze was flickering.

A few seconds later, Dharma Master Tongzhi asked: "Benefactor Chen's words are reasonable, but there has never been a lack of predecessors in the Buddhist Sect who sacrificed themselves to save others. How did they manage to do it?"

"Perhaps they were rare, brave people, or perhaps not. Perhaps when fate pushed them toward bravery, when the world needed them to be brave, they—either in a rush or after deep thought—chose to become the kind of brave person they had always yearned for and imagined in this matter. And perhaps they too had moments of cowardice in the past, but that did not prevent them from ultimately becoming a brave person."

"..."

Dharma Master Tongzhi was silent for a long time again, then stood up, pressed his palms together, and bowed earnestly to Chen Shu:

"I have been taught.

"Fear of death is human nature; the primary duty of any living creature is to survive. For a person about to drown, even dragging someone else into the water is not considered wrong. Since there is no certainty of being able to save someone, and one does not know how to swim, rushing into the water to save someone is not necessarily a wise move. Master, you need not blame yourself, nor need you be ashamed."

This time, Dharma Master Tongzhi did not respond further.

The young monk sat by the window, silently looking out; the crescent moon on the tree was rising higher and higher, and it was unknown what he was thinking about.