Chapter 42: Do I Look Like a Sand-Tea to You?

Yangzi swept a displeased glance at Chi Ye; an hour had passed, and he was still just as annoying.

"Director Li, I'm back!"

He turned and spread his arms, wanting to give Director Li a hug.

But Director Li stared at the IV drip he was holding high with a strange look, stunned: "Teacher Yangzi... you really don't have to be this dedicated!"

"If you're injured, go rest!"

"It's fine, I'll post on Weibo to explain; I just accidentally chipped a tooth, it's nothing."

Yangzi smiled slightly, thinking he understood the situation perfectly.

Director Li: "..."

"Eh, Teacher Yangzi, what's in that IV bag? It's so cold, yet it hasn't frozen? How magical."

At this moment, Old Buddha walked over with a skip in her step, took one look, and was very surprised.

"You don't understand." Chi Ye pointed at Lin Jingyi: "Teacher Yangzi is getting an infusion of antifreeze; he borrowed it from Lin Jingyi."

Lin Jingyi: "?"

"Ahem." Fearing Chi Ye would keep blathering, Yangzi hurriedly said: "That... let's get into position, the customers must be getting impatient, right?"

"The customers originally thought they could escape with their lives." Chi Ye returned to his own stall: "I didn't expect that in the end, they still couldn't escape death."

Teacher Huang: "..."

"That mouth of his, I bet he won't last two days in this industry!"

Teacher Huang gritted his teeth, but he could be considered "officially back in position."

Teacher Lü expressed his welcome to the two of them with differential treatment; clearly, he hadn't cooled off toward Yangzi yet.

Yangzi didn't mind this, and as the group returned to the stall, he realized the current situation was dire.

"Why is everyone going to the opposite side to buy candied haws?"

Teacher Lü glanced at him without saying a word.

Lin Jingyi was speechless: "You all left just now, how was Teacher Lü supposed to make candied haws alone?"

"Aren't you a person?" Yangzi had already offended Teacher Lü, so naturally, he wasn't afraid of a minor celebrity even less famous than Chi Ye.

Lin Jingyi was furious, but not daring to snap back at Yangzi, she looked at Teacher Lü, pouting in grievance, and stayed silent.

"Yangzi, it's not that I'm lecturing you, but why are you picking a fight with a young girl?"

As the saying goes, everyone has their own way of being petty; Teacher Lü was clearly doing it willingly, and as his "domineering CEO" persona flared up, an internal conflict was about to break out again.

"Alright, alright, stop arguing."

Seeing this, Teacher Huang felt a massive headache; for a split second, he even wanted to defect to the opposite Chi Ye group!

"Let's just do this properly, otherwise we'll really have to go plant potatoes with the villagers tomorrow."

He stabilized the situation: "I actually really do know a bit about how to make candied haws..."

Before he could finish, everyone looked at him with strange expressions.

Teacher Lü even subconsciously touched his newly attached bangs, still feeling a lingering fear: "Don't, don't 'know' anything, I beg you, Teacher Huang, don't 'know' anything; I only brought two hairpieces!"

Teacher Huang: "..."

"Look at you all, heh."

Yangzi smiled slightly, looking calm and detached: "I have a plan."

But when he turned around, he found that everyone had already entered the stall and started working with divided tasks; no one was paying him any mind.

"?"

Yangzi was furious, but he suppressed it, walked over to Teacher Huang, and lowered his voice: "What are we doing? Business is already booming on the other side; not to mention whether we can succeed, even if we do, we can't beat them."

"Oh?" Teacher Huang looked up, surprised: "You want to go over and snatch them directly?"

Yangzi: "...I can't beat Dai Fudai."

Teacher Huang was amused: "Then what do you plan to do? Keep begging?"

Yangzi was incensed; he knew Teacher Huang was talking about the time he begged for food from Chi Ye's group at the "See You" cabin.

"Show me some respect!"

"What kind of underhanded, dirty trick do you have? Hurry up and say it." Teacher Huang was impatient.

"Hehe." Yangzi gave a sinister smile, pursing his lips: "We can order takeout!"

Teacher Huang: "?"

Interested, he looked left and right, and finding no one was paying attention, he lowered his voice: "Order takeout?"

"Exactly." Yangzi was smug: "I'll have someone order takeout, and we'll sneak it over when the production team isn't looking. Since it's already bought, are they really going to make us throw it away? Impossible."

Teacher Huang looked at Yangzi in great admiration: "You're suited to be a regular on 'Extreme Challenge'!"

He greatly appreciated this suggestion from Yangzi, because in the variety show where he and Peng Chen were regulars, everyone just let themselves go, and the production team's rules were effectively non-existent.

This could even create the kind of show effects everyone wanted.

He glanced at his PD and pointed at him, signaling him not to blab.

The PD shivered and sealed his lips.

"How about it? This trick works, right?"

"It's too dirty." Teacher Huang commented: "Yangzi, you really are the kind of person who is rotten to the core, without a single additive."

Yangzi: "?"

"Fine, let's do it!" Teacher Huang rubbed his hands together like a fly, looking at Chi Ye's group, who were still busy collecting money, and gave a sinister laugh: "Still collecting money over there? Hmm... we still have to keep up appearances, let's use it as a cover."

"Works for me."

The two old foxes deviously finalized their counter-attack strategy, and then Yangzi found a secluded spot and called his assistant: "Hello?"

"What's wrong, Boss Yang? Are you 'fighting' again? Do you need our help?!" The assistant urgently called a halt to the "script team" and stopped their "work" at hand.

Yangzi: "...Fighting what fight, we're all buddies now... anyway... order some candied haws for me on a delivery app, and then quietly bring them to me."

"Order takeout?"

The assistant was stunned, then immediately nodded: "Okay... um... how many should I order, and what kind?"

"Duh, do you even need to ask?" Yangzi was dissatisfied: "A large quantity, but not too many. As for what to order... order the most expensive and best ones! That's the only way to attract customers!"

Assistant: "...Fine, I understand."

After the two finished their brief exchange, Yangzi returned to the stall with his hands behind his back, acting like a big shot.

By now, Teacher Lü and Lin Jingyi already knew his "plan" and their attitude toward him had improved quite a bit: "Teacher Yangzi is here, you go skewer the fruit... um..."

Teacher Lü saw his "IV drip" hand and could only say: "You go lie down."

"No problem... huh?" Yangzi nodded at first, then scanned the area around the stall: "Lie down? Lie where? On the ground?"

Teacher Lü: "...Then you can sit for a while."

"Fine." Yangzi grinned and sat down on a chair like a big shot.

"That's not right, why haven't they started 'fighting' on the other side yet?"

At the opposite stall.

Chi Ye sent off another fan of Jin Xia and sat back down on his stool, beaming with joy.

Perhaps because he had been too poor his whole life, he found he really enjoyed the happiness of collecting money!

But while collecting money was happy, the fact that the other side wasn't having an internal conflict was a bit unhappy!

"Something's not right, something's not right, there must be a ghost."

He rubbed his chin, suspicious.

"Teacher Chi, a viewer with an SVIP account is asking, what exactly happened to Teacher Yangzi's face?"

The PD teacher beside him was equally relaxed.

Unlike Teacher Lü's group, Chi Ye's group was having a much more comfortable time in this segment, and after two major live-streamed events, their popularity was growing higher and higher.

"That?" As soon as Chi Ye heard the PD's question, he knew the production team was trying to stir up trouble, so he replied offhandedly: "Teacher Yangzi just bumped into the candied haws; the candied haws became sentient and knocked two of his teeth out."

Live stream comments: "???"

What an obscure description!

"Teacher Chi, Teacher Chi, guess what I made again!"

Old Buddha walked over happily, hands behind her back, her charming peach-blossom eyes filled with laughter, calling out coquettishly: "Guess, hurry!"

"What?" Chi Ye was curious: "Did you really make a person?"

Jin Xia changed her expression in a second, pouting without a word.

Chi Ye straightened his attitude: "Look, I guessed and you're unhappy again... hmm, a rose?"

"No." Old Buddha called out "da-da-da-da" and handed an extremely cute "Little God of Wealth" to Chi Ye: "Little God of Wealth!!"

"Whoa, you can even make this?!"

Chi Ye was surprised, then filled with joy.

He really liked this one.

"Of course I can, just cut the strawberry in half, use blueberries for the two little ears, and then use a piece of banana for the body; it's very easy to make!"

Jin Xia was triumphant, then handed it to Chi Ye: "I see you like collecting money so much, here, for you!"

Chi Ye took the "Little God of Wealth"; he had been receiving gifts for so long that he felt a bit embarrassed: "Hmm... next time I'll take you to try some gutter oil."

Jin Xia: "?"

Production team: "..."

Chi Ye, you really aren't a person!

"I'll go back to being busy now." The Old Buddha turned around and trotted off.

"What else do you have to do?"

"I'm going to make a 'Kung Fu Panda' for Sister Shishi!"

Chi Ye: "...I suggest you also make a Transformer for Lin Jingyi!"

The Old Buddha was puzzled: "Her 'craftsmanship' should be better than mine..."

Chi Ye was stunned, then sighed: "Actually, sometimes, you can be quite biting."

The Old Buddha: "?!"

"..."

While they were interacting happily over here, in a corner outside the camera's view, Yangzi's assistant was carrying a "large box," panting and gasping as he waved at Yangzi.

"Boss Yang! Boss Yang!"

Yangzi glanced over, then pretended to be nonchalant as he stood up and stretched: "Hmm~ My face feels a bit uncomfortable, I'm going to go check it out."

"Go on, go on."

The people around him waved their hands.

Yangzi was currently "both arms disabled," basically responsible for the major task of losing face in Teacher Lü's group; seeing him make a move, everyone knew the goods had arrived!

"Hmm... follow me."

Yangzi glanced at the PD, signaling him not to talk nonsense, then strolled over to the assistant.

Mysteriously: "Where is it?"

The assistant wanted to hand him a box, but seeing that both his "hands" were occupied, he said awkwardly: "How are you going to carry it over?"

"..." Yangzi was also stunned by the question, then looked at the PD, then back at the assistant: "...Do you want me to carry it over with my mouth?"

Assistant: "?"

When did Boss Yang learn to be so sarcastic from Chi Ye!

"...I'll call someone over."

Yangzi felt unlucky, turned around, and called over his "good buddy" Teacher Huang; the two of them mysteriously brought the box back to the stall.

"Look, look, what's in here!"

"What a big box, Yangzi, you've done a great service!"

Everyone was very excited, thinking they could finally open for business.

Yangzi also couldn't wait to open the box, and when he looked inside, his vision went black for a moment: "Huh?!"

"No, what is all this stuff?!"

Teacher Huang was also dumbfounded.

They saw that the box the assistant brought back was indeed full of "candied haws," but the varieties were completely different from what they had imagined.

Things like "candied Australian lobster," "candied king crab," "candied mantis shrimp"...

No, where are the haws?!

Where are the hawthorns?!

Yangzi's mouth twisted, and he felt like he was having a heart attack.

"No, is your assistant an idiot? Does the fan really follow the idol? Can we sell this stuff?! What kind of fool would buy it?"

Teacher Huang couldn't hold it in anymore: "How did you instruct him?"

Yangzi felt guilty: "I... I said I wanted the best and most expensive ones."

Everyone: "..."

Teacher Huang suddenly realized and pointed at Yangzi: "You did this on purpose, didn't you? Just to gain popularity this way?"

The others also woke up as if from a dream, each of them eyeing Yangzi with suspicion.

—Everyone understood him by now; others wouldn't do this, but he absolutely could!

Yangzi was furious: "What are you saying! I'm not that kind of person!"

The Old Buddha hadn't even eaten many candied haws in his life before; who knew that besides "turtle friends," there were even more hellish and expensive "candied haws"?!

Everyone: "..."

"Then... what do we do now?"

Everyone looked at the "seafood feast" in the box, speechless.

Done a great service?

You made a huge mess!

"It's okay, there are 'normal' candied haws underneath!"

Suddenly, Lin Jingyi flipped to the bottom and discovered a layer of candied haws.

Everyone finally breathed a sigh of relief.

"That's good, that's good... as long as we can sell them."

"Then these things..."

Yangzi pointed at the heavyweight "guests" like the candied king crab.

"It's fine, these can be sold too, we'll sell them secretly... ask the assistant how much he spent."

Teacher Huang rolled his eyes, thinking that since they were already bought, they might as well be used as a gimmick.

"No need to ask, there's a receipt on top."

Yangzi tore off the receipt from the outside of the box and looked at it, gritting his teeth: "King crab 1500... Australian lobster 1000... this box cost over seven thousand?!"

Everyone: "..."

"You really are a fool and his money..."

Teacher Huang gloated.

Fortunately, setting aside the few flashy display items, the other candied haws were genuine "good goods." With a sense of confidence, everyone began to sneakily "swap the beams for pillars" under the stall.

"Hey, hey! What are you guys doing?! Is that how you're going to play?"

Chi Ye had long noticed the enemy's unusual movements.

Because the other side didn't intend to hide it at all, and with a PD following them the whole time, they couldn't hide it anyway.

"Director, I'm reporting this! They ordered takeout! How can this be allowed?"

Chi Ye was very dissatisfied; they worked so hard... Shi Daifu worked so hard to make candied haws, and yet the other side could surpass them just by ordering takeout?

Where are the program's rules, where is justice?

Director Li had also noticed this scene long ago and hurried over, looking at the "suspects" who were all standing up nonchalantly: "No, how much takeout did you order?"

"Takeout? What takeout? We didn't order any."

Yangzi was stubborn.

"We were just messing around, we didn't order anything."

"Didn't order anything? You've even got king crab out, and you say you didn't order anything? Are you the Dragon King of the East Sea, conjuring seafood out of thin air?!"

Chi Ye strolled over and pointed under the stall: "I saw it, it's hidden right there!"

Director Li's expression was also "unpleasant," but in reality, he was laughing inside.

That's right, that's right, this is what makes for good program effects.

"Ordering takeout is not allowed, and you used the guests' private money, which violates the rules."

Director Li was expressionless: "So all the takeout ordered by Teacher Lü's group will be counted against your owed turnover; you already owe 10 yuan, plus these..."

The box had already been lifted up and opened; seeing the king crab and Australian lobster, Director Li's mouth stretched all the way to his molars: "Owe... thousands? Or tens of thousands..."

"It's not that expensive, it's not that expensive!"

Teacher Huang realized what was happening, hid the receipt, and waved his hand: "These are just samples, they aren't expensive."

Yangzi came to his senses and also hurriedly spread rumors: "We got a discount when we bought them."

"?"

Director Li was puzzled: "Then how much did you buy these things for?"

Yangzi: "One hundred yuan, maybe."

Everyone: "?"

"Buddy, are you giving a discount or hitting someone? Look, you've hit Director Li until he's stupid!"

Chi Ye couldn't hold it in.

Director Li also looked serious as he looked at Yangzi: "Do I look like a fool to you?"