Chapter 237: I will change slowly

After Ren Amamiya finished complaining, he continued to soothe Fujiwara while also performing a final check on her.

"Hmm, it's almost certain; your psychological issues are pretty much recovered."

Yesterday, there were no signs of an outbreak of the psychological issues, and the day before, there were only minor problems.

Time is still a very important medicine.

With the passage of time, plus Fujiwara's tossing and turning these past two days, Ren Amamiya sensed that Fujiwara had completely suppressed the psychological shadow with another kind of emotion.

This emotion likely came from him, and it even carried a bit of a lecherous component.

"Mm~ so it really is recovered."

Hearing about her condition, Chika Fujiwara's voice carried a thick sense of helplessness.

If she was recovered, she wouldn't be able to have Hayasaka bring her over to Ren's place to stay the night like before; what a pity.

Understanding the subtext, Ren Amamiya could only tap Fujiwara on the head.

"You really want that kind of psychological problem to stay with you for a long time? Loss of control and corruption—do you have any idea how much the Extraordinary in those stories dread loss of control and corruption? They would never want to experience their own consciousness collapsing until it is pulverized bit by bit."

"And here you are, complaining that your recovery speed is too fast."

Pouting, Chika Fujiwara made a cute grunting sound and turned her head away, a bit angry.

Ren Amamiya shook his head slightly and turned his attention to Hayasaka.

"Hayasaka, after you go back, explain what happened these past two days to Kaguya. Kaguya isn't an unreasonable person, hmm... she will probably be jealous; I already said as much when I talked to her directly about the response issue."

"But Hayasaka, it's best if you confess directly to Kaguya after you return."

"Understood."

Ai Hayasaka took a deep breath; she also understood that the matter regarding Miss Fujiwara still needed to be confessed to Miss Kaguya.

After saying this, Ren Amamiya watched as Ai Hayasaka slowly reached out her hand.

Ai Hayasaka paused slightly upon seeing this, her face turning a bit pink, but she still walked slowly to the bedside and sat on the other side not occupied by Fujiwara.

Ren Amamiya wrapped one arm around Hayasaka's waist and pulled her to his side.

It was also the first time Ai Hayasaka had experienced such initiative; the pink on her face began to turn into a deeper flush, but she quietly leaned her head into the crook of Ren's arm.

"Sorry, it's always the girls who have to take the initiative."

"It's fine."

Ai Hayasaka knew Ren's situation well, so she naturally understood the reason why he didn't take the initiative.

"I'm naturally not very good at dealing with girls; this is actually caused by the environment of my previous life."

"I wasn't a very outstanding person myself; I could only be considered a fairly ordinary person. But precisely because I was overly ordinary, I couldn't shoulder many of the things that needed to be shouldered, so I almost never considered the issue of marriage, and I didn't even need to date girls."

Chika Fujiwara, who had been pouting just a moment ago, also became interested when she heard Ren talking about the past.

"What do you mean by 'didn't even need to date girls'?"

Thinking of his situation in his previous life, Ren Amamiya couldn't help but sigh.

"Because I couldn't meet the conditions for marriage, even if I dated a girl, the end result would be that we couldn't reach the final step of marriage."

"I personally had almost no contact with girls, and on top of that, I was quite the shut-in. After graduating, I found a job I could do from home, so I had even less reason to go out. Naturally, I wouldn't have any opportunities to come into contact with girls."

"So, it's not that I was intentionally making girls take the initiative; I truly didn't know what to do."

"Moreover, I would also worry if it was just an illusion caused by my own overactive self-consciousness."

"Back then, we had a saying: there are three great illusions in life—first, that your phone is vibrating; second, that you can counter-kill; and third, that she likes you."

"In the few decades of my previous life, plus the fifteen years of this life, I have always been an ordinary person. I habitually adopted my old way of thinking, and I worried that some feelings were just my own illusions."

Having said this, Ren Amamiya gave a bitter smile.

"Perhaps, to put it simply, I am actually a person with very little courage, and someone who is a bit cowardly when facing things."

Ai Hayasaka and Chika Fujiwara, who were listening quietly, could actually feel it roughly.

Because he had reservations, he would subconsciously keep his distance in his heart.

It wasn't that he didn't like them, but because he was worried, he made those subconscious reactions.

"Ren... the previous life is just the previous life. This life is still different from the previous one; you are no longer that ordinary person from the past. At the very least, you should live this life in a different way."

Ai Hayasaka guided him softly.

"I know. It's just that before I became an Extraordinary, I still spent fifteen years as an ordinary person in this life. Sometimes, the mindset of an ordinary person hasn't shifted over yet."

If he had possessed special qualities from birth, perhaps he wouldn't have such a cowardly side. Perhaps he would have built up a different kind of confidence from the start, and could have possessed a heart that didn't lose to others.

But who told him that he only had the chance to become an Extraordinary after spending fifteen years living an ordinary life.

Even when facing this chance to become an Extraordinary, his attitude was very cautious; he spent a year testing the waters before finally opening up that opportunity.

Therefore, Ren Amamiya admitted that he needed time to shift, and needed to change the concepts and thoughts he had always held in the past.

It wasn't a change in his values, nor was it a change in the thoughts he had established in the past, but rather that his way of treating others needed to change.

"Actually, the time I've spent changing is only one month."

The two who were enlightened only then remembered that it had only been a month since the diary first appeared. Ren's time for change had only started within this month, so it was actually normal that he hadn't shifted everything over yet.

"In the past, I was a bit cautious, but at least now there are many situations I can be certain of. For example, the confessions from Kaguya and Sonoko, and the feelings from Fujiwara and you."

"After all, no matter how stupid I am, I wouldn't think that a girl who thinks about running to a boy's house every day, likes to cling to him, and thinks about staying over every day, has no thoughts about him."

This remark made both Chika Fujiwara and Ai Hayasaka blush.

Because that was exactly what the two of them had been doing over the past week.

"From now on, at least in this regard, I will slowly start to change."

"However... I somehow feel that this change of mine is destined to make me a scumbag. Hmm, this thought also needs to be changed."

— Author's Notes —

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