Chapter 698: Extra Chapter 2: I

I was born in the early years of the Republic of China, and deep down I still especially value purity and faithfulness.

Although this happened over a century ago, and although my physical body is gone, now I am merely a wisp of soul.

But the trauma that incident inflicted on my spirit, that shame, cannot be erased at all.

When I say this, deep down it's not because I fear Zhao Zixun will despise me, but because I myself have this hurdle in my heart.

I must be frank with Zhao Zixun; it also helps me overcome this hurdle and let myself be completely at ease.

Zhao Zixun reached out and pulled me into an embrace… though it was actually just a vague hug.

He repeatedly apologized: "Wanwan, it's all my fault—I failed to protect you. Back then Chen Ping held your birth characters to threaten me; at that point his obsession with ascension and immortality had driven him mad, and with your birth characters in his grip he could take your life at any moment…"

Indeed, that's how it was.

I interrupted him: "So you gave in?"

"I am his subordinate, and you are the person I care about most." Zhao Zixun said, "I blame myself for still underestimating human evil; I made him swear that if I let him toy with me, he'd spare you—I never imagined…"

Blood and tears fell silently, and I knew it would turn out this way.

"You're foolish! They've had their eyes on me for a long time, but they never dared act because of you. Once they control you, they'll first strike at me—Zhao Zixun, you're too naïve!"

Zhao Zixun blamed himself: "It's my fault—I lost you."

I shook my head with a bitter laugh: "Zhao Zixun, neither of us is at fault; the blame lies with Chen Ping, the senior lady, and that yellow weasel. In such a survival situation we had no choice—even if you had refused Chen Ping back then, he had a hundred ways to force you to comply, and we would only have died more horribly."

Perhaps… perhaps even the chance to meet again now won't exist.

Zhao Zixun held me in silence for a long, long time.

The sky gradually darkened before he loosened his grip and said, "Wanwan, what are your plans for the future? Do you really want to be the Clear Wind of the pawnshop hall?"

I asked him: "And you? What are your plans?"

Zhao Zixun fell silent again.

It's obvious we never imagined having a future, so we never made any plans for one.

That night we went together to watch Mei Lin Shuang's play.

During the performance we sat side by side, and Zhao Zixun kept holding my hand without letting go.

After the show we strolled along the road for a while.

In the end Zhao Zixun spoke first: "Wanwan, whether you become the Clear Wind or wish to reincarnate, Xiao Jiu Zhanggui will help you—both are fine choices."

I still said the same thing: "And you? Qingying sister and the others have always hoped you'd join them; they think highly of you."

Zhao Zixun said bitterly: "I… I'm fine just as I am now."

I didn't understand: "Wouldn't joining the pawnshop hall be better? Then we could stay together…"

"Wanwan, my sins run deep." Zhao Zixun said solemnly, "I am essentially a military commander; in this life I have fought in dozens of wars, big and small, and the souls lost at my hand are countless. My killing karma is too heavy, making a good end very difficult."

Moreover, those I killed with the flaying knife… although I was completely under control at the time, those acts were not what I wanted, but the fact remains that I killed them, and I cannot escape responsibility.

Someone like me does not deserve to enter the pawnshop, nor to step into its hall.

This is why Li Qingying repeatedly extended an olive branch to him, and he repeatedly refused firmly.

I can understand his feelings, and I'm still trying to persuade him: "But you've done plenty of good deeds over the years, right? Join us, accumulate merit for yourself, enjoy the incense offerings of the pawnshop hall, and one day you'll be able to completely cleanse your karmic obstacles."

Zhao Zixun still shook his head: "Wanwan, now I have a place to stay and I still command those yin soldiers; I'm quite content. The pawnshop appears peaceful on the surface, but in reality Xiao Jiu Zhanggui bears enormous pressure, with beings from the Nether Realm constantly pressing on her. I don't want to add more pressure to her or to the pawnshop—if in the future…"

"I'll stay with you!"

I said it without a hint of hesitation.

Zhao Zixun is kind and knows his bounds.

I understand his sense of boundaries.

He… is still the man I knew and deeply loved in my memory, unchanged.

That night I did not return to the pawnshop's spirit tablet; instead I went with Zhao Zixun to the hill opposite.

Zhao Zixun and I reached a tacit agreement: we would not enter the hall, and we would not let the karma between us entangle and harm others.

A soul and an animated corpse—we simply accompanied each other, slowly moving forward.

At that time I imagined it would be wonderful.

I always felt that, having finally reunited, heaven would not cruelly separate us again.

To the point that I overlooked a fatal detail: a coffin nail is driven into Zhao Zixun's forehead!

That coffin nail is longer and darker than the one once driven into my own brow; its yin malevolent qi has long seeped into Zhao Zixun's corpse, and after a century of sedimentation it can be said to have become the most important part of his body.

He can regain his sanity also because that coffin nail has loosened.

Because he acts so normally, I often unconsciously overlook the existence of that coffin nail.

Zhao Zixun surely knows about it in his heart, but he has never mentioned it to me.

Until before Xiao Jiu Zhanggui was to have her second child, the temperature in Wufu Town kept rising for no apparent reason.

Everyone's most immediate feeling was heat—so hot that townsfolk had to relocate again, so hot that everyone felt restless and unable to calm down enough to think of solutions.

This heat also greatly affects my soul; I cannot help but frequently retreat into the spirit tablet to hide.

Meanwhile Zhao Zixun buried himself in the corpse‑raising ground to escape that strange heat.

We both thought that if we just endured it, it would pass.

But the yin soldiers in the corpse‑raising ground began to fail one by one, starting to rot and liquefy.

Those yin soldiers had followed Zhao Zixun for years; he could not bear to watch them all be wiped out, so he could only go plead with the Seventh Lord, asking the Seventh Lord to intercede and have the Seven Halls Yama incorporate the remaining yin soldiers.

Fortunately the Seven Halls Yama readily agreed.

In the end, only Zhao Zixun remained, still holding fast on the opposite hill.

The Seventh Lord is kind-hearted; he once asked the Seven Halls Yama whether Zhao Zixun could also be taken into his service, and the Seven Halls Yama replied: "His karmic burden is too great; he has the will but not the strength."

Zhao Zixun's condition kept worsening, with ulcers appearing on his legs that gradually festered, oozing pus and blood.

I went to see him several times, but each time he drove me away.

He said to me: "Wanwan, don't come again, let me live and die on my own, please..."