Chapter 192: There Is No Love Between Us

Yang Yi suppressed the irritation in her heart and said in a flat tone, "Neither of us is in a good mood today; let's contact each another day!"

Chris's heart gave a sudden thud; he clearly felt that if he let her leave like this, given her personality, things between them might simply be over—for she was exactly that kind of person: to stay safe, she wrapped herself layer upon layer, and once there was even the slightest sign of external harm, she would immediately flee far away and never return.

He ought to apologize to her at once, yield, then employ his specialty of sweet words and tender affection to dissolve this small upheaval into nothingness; afterward, in their life together, he would strive not to touch upon forbidden topics, and they would continue to maintain the appearance of intimacy—as long as nothing brushed against what lay hidden inside her armor.

Yet the moment he thought of this, anger and unwillingness began to sprout in his chest: On what grounds? On what grounds have I already taken ninety-nine steps toward you, yet you begrudge taking even that one step? On what grounds am I willing to open myself entirely to you, while you still keep yourself tightly wrapped?

There is no fairness in love, he suddenly thought.

Years of self-respect and pride still forced him to hold himself up; with one hand he gripped her arm, fearing she would leave, yet his body remained stubbornly straight—thus his body language presented a contradictory picture, but neither of them, their emotions churning, noticed this.

"Again like this! Every single time!" Chris finally could not help but shout, "You're going to run away again, aren't you? You're dredging up all sorts of lame excuses again!"

Yang Yi took a deep breath and sneered, "Since you clearly know I'm making excuses, why don't you just take the hint and climb down the ladder yourself, like the previous times?"

They gazed at each other, both breathing rapidly.

Chris's heart pounded fiercely; even the arm holding hers began to tremble. Countless words of resentment and unwillingness surged within him, ready to burst forth, yet he forced them back with all his strength.

"You are torturing me, do you understand?" Chris drew a deep breath and lowered his voice, yet the suppression in his tone betrayed his unsettled state of mind.

"What exactly do you want to obtain?" Yang Yi tried to pull her hand back, but his grip was too tight; not wishing to hurt him, she could only let him continue holding it.

"Do you want me to be completely open and honest with you? Do you want me to pour out every thought and feeling to you? Or do you want me to announce our relationship to the world? Or perhaps make you a promise for the rest of my life?"

Yang Yi gave a cold laugh. "Next, I suppose you'll expect me to inform you of every detail regarding my job, the Summer Nation government, and all decisions made by the United Nations? Otherwise, it would be disrespect and distrust toward you?"

Chris had never imagined she could harbor such malicious suspicions about him.

"You know perfectly well I never meant that; you are deliberately distorting my true intentions just to evade the real problem between us! —Yang Yi, what exactly do you take me for?"

"Take you for what?" Yang Yi's gaze wandered for a moment before she remarked with cold sarcasm, "Why pretend ignorance and ask? Just as you said: a hotel, a stress-relief toy, a place to temporarily escape from troubles..."

"So this is the only meaning I hold for you?" Chris's breathing suddenly became heavy and coarse; this answer severely wounded his self-respect and pride, while grief, rage, and a sense of grievance intertwined within him: "... Why me?"

"Why you? Because you are handsome, because you fit my aesthetic standards, because your beautiful blue eyes resemble a glass marble from my childhood, because you are an illusion I carefully wove."

Yang Yi suddenly smiled, her tone extremely calm: "Long before I truly knew you, I had already been in a two-year relationship with you—with your false phantom. I created a perfect figure based on your image, one who does not exist in this world; he would never betray me, he could satisfy all my imaginings, and the enjoyment I derived from him was far greater than being with the real you."

Pausing here, her gaze grew hazy for a moment before she continued with a cold sneer: "Whenever I needed him, he could appear at any time; whenever I did not, he could vanish at any time. He would never make me feel uneasy! He would never question me like you do! He would never betray me out of selfish desire! He was flawless!"

Chris felt as though he had been punched squarely in the face; he was completely stunned.

Gradually, sorrow arose within his heart, accompanied by a profound sense of pity.

"The reason he is flawless is because he does not exist!" Chris grasped her shoulders, looking at her with grief: "Look at me, Yang Yi; I am not that perfect image from your fantasies. I am Chris Norton; I am myself!"

Chris's gaze pricked Yang Yi like needles; more than disgust or accusation, she detested pity—yes, she hated the pitying looks of others; only the weak are pitied!

And she was no longer that child chained inside a dog kennel! She was now immensely powerful! She was a god among mortals! She could even destroy the entire Earth—how dare you look at me with such eyes???

Anger suddenly surged up from her heart, quickly overwhelming her reason.

Yang Yi violently shook off Chris and remarked with malicious sarcasm, "What? Do you truly love me? Isn't your so-called 'love' merely a psychology of admiring strength? Before I took you to ride that sea beast, did you feel anything special toward me? Admit it: you were merely frightened and captivated by the power I displayed at that time; you do not love me, not the real me, but that great power itself!"

She had never imagined speaking such words, yet an impulse rising from who-knows-where drove her to continue shooting poisoned arrows at him:

"If I were still that mediocre, ordinary girl, would you have glanced at me even once? Would you? Dare you deny it?"

Chris opened his mouth to speak, but words felt utterly powerless in that moment; slowly, he steadied himself against the back of the sofa behind him, as if only thus could he remain standing.

Chris gazed at her, and she gazed into Chris's blue eyes—within those two ocean-like, beautiful pools, red bloodshot threads slowly began to rise.

Yang Yi's heart felt as though pierced by an awl; it hurt, yet beyond that pain lay another sensation, a kind of vengeful enjoyment.

"I cannot deny it..." Chris murmured, "but..."

This sentence was like a spark igniting a hidden disaster long concealed between them.

"See! You admitted it!"

Yang Yi cut him off; without blinking, she stared at him, her face gradually turning pale, yet the corners of her mouth curved upward nonetheless:

"Of course, my feelings are equally impure. I am only infatuated with an illusion created in your image!

"Why you? Because you stood high above, because you were unattainable, because you were once a sapphire I could never afford! Why you? Because I have always favored those things I can never obtain, using them to remind myself of my own humility and insignificance!

"Do you know why I confessed to you that night? It was merely because I was frightened—by a nightmare! I am a coward; I only wanted to escape, even through this shallow romance!

"You see, there is no love between us; it is merely—a man who admires strength yet is self-righteous, and a blustering coward, performing a fleeting charade!"