Chapter 4: Dad

Ding!

Number One Lying Flat Assistant's yesterday's income settlement in progress...

Number One Lying Flat Assistant's yesterday's income: 2450 yuan!

Host received double earnings: 4900 yuan!

Accompanied by the system prompt, Zhang Xian also received a text message from the bank.

Dad actually made this much money from livestreaming yesterday—impressive!

In Zhang Xian's memory, Dad's usual livestream income was maybe one or two hundred yuan, rarely breaking a thousand; he'd even boasted last time he broke a thousand, but yesterday he made over two thousand.

This must be a new daily income record.

Great, great!

If Dad works hard enough, buying a house and a car is just around the corner!

But Dad's health level is only "B-grade"—this health status is mediocre; I need to help him take better care of his body.

"Pingping, what's my health level?"

Zhang Xian asked casually.

"Host's health level is C!"

Huh?

C-grade??

I'm a twenty-something healthy guy, yet my health is worse than Dad's, who's over fifty?

"Host has been staying up late regularly, with irregular eating and sleeping patterns; body is in suboptimal health. Recommend changing unhealthy lifestyle habits."

Alright, alright!

No wonder online people always say they're post-2000s "old dudes"!

Nowadays, many young people's physical condition really is worse than those in their fifties and sixties!

Sleep!

Zhang Xian randomly selected a crosstalk segment and set a 30-minute auto-shutoff timer.

He didn't know when it started, but listening to crosstalk had become his sleep aid—and it worked incredibly well, often taking just minutes.

"Xiaoxian, Xiaoxian~"

"Wake up!"

After some time, a familiar voice sounded by his ear.

Zhang Xian blinked sleepily: "What time is it?"

"Half past nine."

"Xiaoxian, are you still going fishing today, uh, to the interview?"

Zhang Zhaodi asked with hopeful eyes—clearly still thinking about yesterday's braised carp.

"Yes!"

Zhang Xian stretched, sitting up on the bed.

"Can I go with you?"

Zhang Zhaodi asked again.

"Interviews don't allow family members."

Zhang Xian thought: if I take you, the "Air Force" secret will be exposed.

Today's breakfast was especially lavish: besides congee, fried eggs, and pickles, there was lamb offal soup and shaomai bought from Yuanshengju.

Clearly, Dad Zhang Dongshan was in a good mood; though Zhang wasn't home now, he was probably out bragging again, as usual.

After breakfast and a quick wash, Zhang Xian slung his fishing rod over his shoulder and left the house.

"Xiaoxian, off to another interview?"

Old Liu from next door appeared again at his usual spot, fanning himself with a large bamboo fan.

"Yeah, gotta find a job!"

"Can't just mooch off the family!"

Zhang Xian said with mock seriousness.

"That's true."

"While you're young, you should hustle hard—otherwise you won't even find a wife."

Liu Fusheng said this aloud, but inwardly scoffed: this little Liu says it better than he sings it—who goes to an interview carrying a fishing rod?

"Old Liu, I only agree with half of what you said—young people should hustle, sure, but people your age shouldn't just sit idle either. Jiang Ziya went down the mountain at 72 and became chancellor at 80; you're only in your sixties—perfect time to hustle. Life is just thirty thousand days—what's the harm in trying?"

"What do you say??"

As he spoke, Zhang Xian lightly swung his fist in a motivational gesture.

Liu Fusheng sat stunned, completely dumbfounded; only when Zhang Xian rode off on his electric scooter did he snap back, muttering curses: "That little Liu almost got me tangled up—I'm retired, why should I hustle?!"

"Dad, was that Brother Xiaoxian just now?"

At that moment, a young man with dyed yellow hair walked out of the yard—he was Liu Fusheng's younger son, Liu Dongxu, recently returned from studying in the United States.

"Weren't you jet-lagged? Already awake?"

Liu Fusheng looked at his son with tender eyes.

"I slept for hours on the plane, then slept more here—I just can't sleep anymore!"

"Dad, what's Brother Xiaoxian doing now?"

Liu Dongxu pulled up a small stool and sat beside his father.

"He? Unemployed bum!"

"Dong Xu, you mustn't learn from him. We're returnees from overseas—we can't be like him, idling around all day. You might not even be able to find a wife in the future!"

Liu Fusheng said earnestly.

"Dad, don't worry. Before I came back to the country, I had already started sending my resume to domestic companies. I won't even consider any job paying less than 20k a month."

"By the way, I have an interview at a major internet company this afternoon. If all goes well, I can start work next Monday!"

Liu Dongxu said, brimming with confidence.

"Great!"

"Our Dong Xu is really going places!"

Liu Fusheng's face was wreathed in smiles, but he soon furrowed his brow again. His gaze swept over his son's bleached hair and the tattoo on his arm, and he said worriedly, "Dong Xu, why on earth did you get a tattoo! And this hair—proper big companies do have requirements about your outward appearance, don't they!"

Liu Dongxu waved his hand dismissively: "Dad, you don't understand. Tattoos are a culture in the United States. Look at those NBA stars, and movie stars—is there a single one without a tattoo?"

"Besides, it's personal freedom. The employer has no reason not to hire me because of this. If they really dare, I'll file a complaint against them directly!"

By the river.

Zhang Xian, who had just cast his line, leisurely started scrolling through Douyin.

At first it was pretty normal—all "long legs," since his account had already been trained that way.

But after swiping through a few videos, he suddenly came across a clip of his old man's livestream.

In the video, his old man was singing "Apple Fragrance" with deep feeling. The video had already racked up 320,000 likes and over 40,000 comments.

Zhang Xian tapped open the comment section to take a look, and it was all glowing reviews.

Hua Kai Fu Gui: Lovely, lovely!

Chun Nuan Hua Kai: Brother Shan is getting more and more charming!

Pingping Dan Dan: Truly a rare good song, way better than all those messy internet songs!

Han Jiang Xue: I've had it on repeat dozens of times. Does anyone know what time Old Brother Zhang streams?

Snow Lotus: Already added it to our square dance playlist.

The netizens' nicknames all had a real vintage feel. Just from these usernames alone, you could tell their ages were probably no lower than fifty.

But none of that mattered.

What mattered was, his old man had gone viral!

And as Lying Flat Assistant No. 1, his old man's going viral meant Zhang Xian's future income was about to skyrocket.

A life of counting money until his hands cramped!

Not bad, not bad!

Leeching off Dad is awesome!

Zhang Xian was overjoyed and kept happily scrolling through videos.

And because he had specifically followed the video of his old man singing "Apple Fragrance," the algorithm directly led him straight into the "Apple Fragrance" nest. Some sharp-nosed influencers had already started riding the song's heat and covering it.

So, every now and then, Zhang Xian's phone would ring out with the singing, "From Liu Xing Jie, does the bayan still play?"