Chapter 153: The Utterly Shameless Chongzhen Emperor

Chongzhen hadn't actually had that many ideas to begin with — an ordinary programmer wouldn't exactly take the initiative to think about disappearing someone who had the Ming dynasty's interests at heart, even if that person's loyalty or treachery was hard to judge for the moment.

It was precisely because the Chongzhen Emperor's thoughts were too hard to guess that Tian Ergeng kept silent and chose to play dumb.

But Wen Tiren and Shi Fenglai, long seasoned in the treacherous waters of officialdom, had on their own initiative made the matter complicated — the Emperor says this, doesn't he just want the two of us to propose the idea of disappearing the man, and then have leverage over us both?

Yet Wen Tiren and Shi Fenglai felt that a man, after all, still ought to have a bit of face.

Even though they knew perfectly well in their hearts that the best choice was to let that Wang Huaiwen vanish without a trace — for the Embroidered Uniform Guard or the Eastern and Western Depots, making an ordinary scholar disappear flawlessly was practically a matter of grabbing it in one's hand.

But the matter simply could not be handled that way.

If one wanted to take the initiative to disappear an ordinary person, the Embroidered Uniform Guard could propose it to the Emperor, the Eastern and Western Depots could propose it too — only ministers like themselves absolutely could not propose it.

Setting aside everything else, letting the Emperor think you were a ruthless and merciless sort was tantamount to voluntarily registering yourself on the Emperor's list, waiting for the day the Emperor had someone disappear you too.

Wen Tiren and Shi Fenglai were not so happy in their hearts. Tian Ergeng beside them was just like a wooden post, standing there the whole time from start to finish without having spoken a single word, only quietly awaiting the Emperor's command.

This is exactly the moment when you hawks and hounds ought to step forward and take on the matter, you bastards!

Yet Tian Ergeng simply treated the glances that Wen Tiren and Shi Fenglai threw his way as so much air — don't you even think about it! I'm no fool.

The master before me tolerates no sand in his eyes. I'm perfectly fine being a knife with no thoughts of its own.

Once a knife has thoughts of its own, would the master still dare use it?

Why else do they say men grow crafty with age, horses grow slippery, and an old hare is hard for the hawk to catch?

Sure enough, Wen Tiren, long seasoned in the treacherous waters of officialdom, actually thought up a perfectly flawless idea — one that neither required disappearing the man, nor let this Wang Huaiwen go establish some community schools or private academies to buy people's hearts, and could even keep him grasped firmly in the palm of one's hand.

Chongzhen watched Wen Tiren and Shi Fenglai below exchanging meaningful glances, and from time to time stealing looks at Tian Ergeng, and grew rather curious — what were they doing? What were they thinking?

But before Chongzhen could continue guessing, Wen Tiren first bowed and said: "Your Majesty, I memorialize: the Han-dynasty Yang Xiong once said in 'Fayan: Words and Conduct,' 'Devotion to learning is not as good as devotion to seeking a teacher.

A teacher is the mold and model for men.' In the community schools of the realm today, the teachers are for the most part men who failed the examinations and hold no office.

Their level of instruction varies, some high and some low — to call it a mix of good and bad would not be an overstatement."

"Since Wang Huaiwen and the other twenty-five Imperial Academy students are willing to go to community schools to teach children, your minister believes we might as well use these Academy students as teachers, to instruct some old veteran licentiates and the like.

Once they pass an examination, then appoint them as teachers of the community schools. In this way, the level of our Great Ming's community school teachers will be roughly uniform, and the level of the children they teach will likely be similar as well.

Then through the provincial examinations and prefectural examinations, select the best among them to pick out talent for the court."

"Moreover, if we allow Wang Huaiwen and the other Academy students to establish private academies on their own, it unavoidably carries the suspicion of buying people's hearts. If we do it this way, however, there will be no further worries to trouble us."

Chongzhen secretly gave Wen Tiren a thumbs-up in his mind — worthy of a big shot who made it to Chief Grand Secretary; this brain of his was indeed far stronger than that of a miserable programmer like himself.

He had said everything, the good and the bad, and had even produced the shadow of the later-age normal universities.

Intending to show off a bit, Chongzhen deliberated for a moment, then continued: "The teacher is the one who transmits the Way, imparts knowledge, and resolves doubts.

In the community schools, the teachers who give children their first enlightenment — their influence on these children can be said to last a lifetime. One cannot but be cautious."

"That being the case, select a site in the capital to establish the Capital Normal College.

We Ourselves shall serve as the headmaster. The first cohort of students shall be these twenty-six men, Wang Huaiwen and the others.

After they complete their studies, use them as the foundation to instruct others who intend to become teachers."

Only then did Wen Tiren breathe a sigh of relief. It seemed this step of his had been the right one — he had resolved the trouble and also made the Emperor happy.

Yet in his heart he secretly grew jealous of Wang Huaiwen and the others.

The Emperor himself serving as headmaster, instructing these twenty-six Academy students — never mind how many classes the Emperor actually attended, or whether he even went at all, that was another matter entirely — these twenty-six students had nonetheless secured the title of Disciples of the Son of Heaven.

Even if he himself also went to teach these students, these students would no longer be his disciples — if it were like that, where would that put the Emperor? Had he lived too long?

By the time the matters were basically discussed and settled, the sky was nearly bright. Having been woken in the middle of the night and up ever since, Chongzhen was also a bit tired.

He simply ordered Wen Tiren and Shi Fenglai to go back and rest, then himself went to Consort Tian's quarters to lie down for a while and catch a bit more sleep.

When the hour of Chen arrived and his energy had recovered, Chongzhen simply took Wang Cheng'en and Fang Zhenghua and headed for the Royal Academy where Xu Guangqi was.

Chongzhen now increasingly felt he ought to find a way to produce some science dogs or engineering dogs. Without such people, whatever he wanted to do was inconvenient.

Just the matters of papermaking, printing, and producing teaching materials were enough to give him a headache, let alone learning from other transmigrators and making guns, cannons, and rockets.

Inwardly mocking himself for disgracing transmigrators, Chongzhen suddenly recalled a line Yi Xingzhi had spoken in the middle of the night: "The place this student traveled to study was a small country called Portugal.

Though that country is small, its navy and firearms are quite commendable. Furthermore, that country still illicitly occupies Macao."

Motherfucker! So it's you bastards who seized my territory, and didn't give it back to me until the millennium year!

Thinking of this, Chongzhen grew all the more furious at the Qing's incompetence — you couldn't even handle such trash that the Great Ming crushed like dogs. How the hell did you lot end up sitting on this realm?

Li Zicheng deserved to die, and Wu Sangui deserved to die even more!

Chongzhen's mood grew increasingly foul, yet he had nowhere to vent it. He only abruptly lashed his horse with the whip, silently picking up speed again, which left Wang Cheng'en somewhat baffled, not knowing which blind fool had once again provoked His Majesty's displeasure.

Fang Zhenghua, however, did not think about it so much at all — he was, after all, merely His Majesty's shadow in the open, and only needed to be responsible for His Majesty's daily safety. He immediately lashed his own horse with the whip and followed.

When they arrived at the Royal Academy, Chongzhen dismissed everyone else.

After taking his seat, he came straight to the point and asked Xu Guangqi: "We recall that Minister Xu once said that even within the capital, there are quite a few Western barbarians well-versed in firearms and calendrical science?"

Xu Guangqi was thrown off by Chongzhen's sudden question, but without time to think it through carefully, he replied: "Your Majesty, I memorialize: the Western barbarians in the capital skilled in calendrical science number about twenty.

Those skilled in the way of firearms number about seven or eight."

Chongzhen simply waved his hand and said: "In Minister Xu's opinion, can these men be used by our Great Ming?"

Xu Guangqi deliberated for a long while before replying: "Your Majesty, I memorialize: these Western barbarians came to our Great Ming originally for the purpose of spreading their faith. Their original aim was not to earn money or the like.

If Your Majesty permits them to spread their faith, they can naturally be used by our Great Ming. Otherwise, I fear their hearts will be unwilling and their spirits unagreeable."

"However, their doctrine is full of speech that denies sovereign and father, preaching belief in some god surnamed Ye, and not the August Jade Emperor God on High that our Central Plains believes in.

Your minister believes that even if they are permitted to spread their faith, many restrictions should be imposed."

Not a single scholar is any good! Chongzhen cursed inwardly once more.

Their buddy-religion actually considered you a good buddy — of course, a Xu Guangqi who learns someone's stuff and then pulls out his dick without a shred of sentiment is the good kind of Xu Guangqi.

Since you've already learned the stuff, what are you still hanging around with those savages for? Spare me the later-age types who always think the savages' moon is rounder, those rolling-and-squawking patients.

The Chongzhen Emperor, who felt that Xu Guangqi was very good and quite excellent, finally began to feel his mood improve somewhat, no longer wearing the gloomy expression from before, which greatly reduced the pressure on Xu Guangqi.

Only, he still needed to use these savages for now. Relying on Old Xu alone would not do, even if he worked him to death.

Having thought it through, Chongzhen opened his mouth and said to Xu Guangqi: "Aside from the capital, in the other regions, especially in the Panyu area, how many of their sort are there approximately?"

Xu Guangqi, however, answered honestly: "Your Majesty, I memorialize: your minister does not know either. Only, the Panyu area is near the sea to begin with, and Quanzhou is as well. Presumably, the barbarians in these two places ought to be quite numerous."

Chongzhen nodded. Come to think of it, that made sense.

What good stuff could these Western missionaries have anyway? To put it bluntly, these fellows were all in collusion with the countries to the west, equivalent to scouts.

More often than not, they first spread their faith on one hand while on the other hand thoroughly scouted out the local situation.

If they encountered a weakling, what followed would be the sturdy ships and sharp cannons of those western countries — in the pitifully scant historical knowledge within the Chongzhen Emperor's memory, he simply could not recall which Western country was strong at this time and which was a weakling.

In his eyes, anyway, they were all barbarians, and not a single one of them was a good bird.

The clearest example was what happened in Macao during the Ming dynasty. After these savages were taught how to behave by the Great Ming's navy, they obediently bribed the local Ming officials in Macao and occupied it.

Then when the Qing came along, seeing the Qing drop the ball, all the dogshit-upside-down matters that happened afterward are recorded clearly in the later-age history books — though of course, it's also possible that one day, for certain reasons, it might be rewritten as the Western peoples' eastward advance and integration.

Chongzhen, whose train of thought had clearly derailed, quickly came back to his senses. The Qing could not be allowed to exist.

Sooner or later We shall send them off to wait upon Our Imperial Brother the Tianqi Emperor. As for those savages — was it the Flaying Decree or some damn thing?

At worst, We shall simply imitate what the descendants of these savages played at in the Americas, and play that same set on them as well, and be done with it!

His mind made up, Chongzhen opened his mouth and said: "Permitting these men to spread their faith is impossible. Yet We also desire these savages' learning to be used by Us. Does Minister Xu have any good method?"

How utterly shameless! This was precisely the thought in Xu Guangqi's heart at this moment...

(End of Chapter)