Chapter 188: Not a Single Good Thing Among Them

Empress Zhou and Wanyan Yuzhuo, who had been chatting, saw the Chongzhen Emperor enter and hurriedly moved to pay him their respects.

Chongzhen, however, stepped forward and caught Empress Zhou, who was about to bow, saying, "No need, no need for ceremony — be careful of the child in your womb." He then turned to Wanyan Yuzhuo and said, "Consort Wan, sit as well.

We heard you speaking cheerfully just now — what were you talking about?"

As the head of the six palaces, Empress Zhou spoke first: "Nothing in particular — I was simply feeling a bit stifled, so I called Sister Wanfei over to keep me company. We were just speaking of the steppe.

Sister Wanfei mentioned something about white disasters and such, but said there was one good thing about it — I was just asking."

Chongzhen thought to himself, What the hell could be good about the steppe? If there were anything good, why would those bastards always be scheming to raid the Central Plains?

Just as his curiosity stirred, he heard Wanyan Yuzhuo cover her mouth and laugh: "Isn't it so? In summer, the nights are much cooler than in the Central Plains."

Empress Zhou said enviously, "That truly sounds wonderful. In the Great Ming's summers, even at night you're drenched in sweat, always sticky and clammy — terribly unpleasant."

Chongzhen thought to himself, That's true enough. On this campaign against the Mongols, the days were just as hot, but the nights really were much cooler than in the capital.

But what could be done about it? The Great Ming lies south of Mongolia to begin with; geographically speaking, it's already far cooler than places like Champa.

The Great Ming has no iceboxes, and though the imperial household has ice cellars, how much can they actually store? Every year there's never enough to go around — only his own supply as the Chongzhen Emperor could be considered adequate.

Holy shit! Fortune's knocking at my door!

The Chongzhen Emperor had suddenly hit upon a way to strike it rich.

When it came to ice, from the Zhou dynasty all the way to the present Great Ming, the practice had essentially been ice storage.

What is ice storage? It was the task of the "Ice Master," an official specially responsible for storing ice, who would organize manpower during the bitter winter months to harvest ice blocks, seal them in cellars, and preserve them for use the following summer.

The "Seventh Month" poem in the Book of Songs contains the lines "In the second month they hew the ice with thud and thwack / In the third month they store it in the ice shack," reflecting how the Zhou people cut and stored ice.

The "ice shack" was a deep cellar, roughly two zhang or more in depth.

Historical records recount that each year, during the coldest stretch of winter, the authorities would organize men to cut great blocks of ice from rivers and lakes, then transport the blocks to the ice shack and place them inside one by one.

Straw was laid between the blocks to keep them from freezing together. Once the cellar was full, the entrance was sealed layer upon layer with mud and straw, and a reed shelter was erected over the opening to shield it from the sun's scorching rays.

Only in the summer of the following year, when ice was needed, would people open the ice shack and retrieve the blocks for use.

In the Ming dynasty, the ice-storage industry became even more widespread. Every summer, the Emperor would often bestow varying amounts of ice upon meritorious civil and military officials according to their rank.

Officials of every level, in turn, imitated the Emperor's practice by granting ice to their own subordinates. The bestowal of ice became a special perk of official life in the Ming.

But this was, after all, stored ice — it had to be harvested in winter, and come summer it still had to be rationed carefully. There was simply no way to use it as freely as people would in later ages.

As a result, distribution within the rear palace was uneven — priority went to those of highest status, such as Empress Zhou and the Carpenter Emperor's wife, Empress Zhang; what remained went to Noble Consort Tian and Noble Consort Yuan; and those further down the line received barely any at all.

The Chongzhen Emperor, however, was different. He had, after all, been through the Qidian transmigrator training camp — how could he possibly not know that saltpeter can make ice?

Even if he didn't know the exact preparation method, wouldn't it be a simple matter to find an excuse and have his subordinates experiment?

With this in mind, the Chongzhen Emperor smiled and said, "Empress and Consort Wan, carry on chatting. We shall make a trip to the Royal Academy. When We return, We shall have something good for you."

Empress Zhou, hearing this, gave a light laugh and said, "Your Majesty's state affairs take precedence. This evening, go directly to Sister Wanfei's quarters. These past two months, she has missed you terribly."

Chongzhen paid no heed, merely letting out a hearty laugh as he turned and left. Inwardly, though, he mused: This fine tradition of a wife proactively finding concubines for her husband and urging him to spread his favor evenly — how on earth did it get lost?

Thinking about it, he felt truly sorry for his miserable male compatriots in later ages.

He'd heard of transmigrators who went looking for monogamy and family planning — a pack of utter morons!

In ancient times, population was a strategic resource. Without population, who would pay taxes to the emperor?

Who would send their daughters to the emperor? And fucking monogamy?

Every war leaves a swath of dead men; when men are few and women many, what happens to the ones left over? Stay old maids their whole lives?

The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that those transmigrators must have let water into their brains to raise fish. The Chongzhen Emperor simply took his retinue and headed straight for the Royal Academy in the southern suburbs of the capital.

Upon arriving at the Royal Academy, he happened upon Xu Guangqi and his colleagues testing firearms again — and beside them were a number of red-haired, yellow-haired, blue-eyed barbarians.

The Chongzhen Emperor thought to himself, These were either swindled here by Xu Guangqi or dragged in by those bastards from the Embroidered Uniform Guard.

They were barbarians either way, and Chongzhen could hardly be bothered to care. After stopping Xu Guangqi and the others from performing their obeisances, the Chongzhen Emperor said, "Still testing these guns today? What are the results?"

Xu Guangqi, hearing this, bowed and said, "Reporting to Your Majesty, the results are passable. If we remove the rifling, we can fire more rounds, but accuracy suffers somewhat."

What occupied Chongzhen's mind, however, was not the guns. He gave a distracted "Mm," then continued, "My dear minister, carry on with your experiments slowly.

We said from the start — test as you will; if you need funds, funds you shall have; if you need materials, materials you shall have. You must, by all means, produce the finest and safest firelocks for our soldiers to use."

Xu Guangqi bowed in acknowledgment, then asked, "What brings Your Majesty to your humble servant's quarters today? Have you come to observe the firelock test-firing? Or to inspect the progress on the steam engine?"

Chongzhen waved his hand and said, "Neither. We have come today because, while leafing through ancient texts last night, We discovered something rather interesting."

This time it was Xu Guangqi who grew somewhat distracted. His mind now utterly filled with firelocks and steam engines, Xu Guangqi had no interest whatsoever in anything else. He merely bowed and said, "May I ask what it is? Shall your servants attempt to produce it for Your Majesty?"

Chongzhen gave an "Mm," sorted out his thoughts, and then began to spout nonsense: "This one is fairly simple. While We were perusing miscellaneous texts from the former Song, a sole surviving copy recorded a rather curious matter.

It told of a White Lotus celestial master who, just before the Song fell, could turn water to ice with a touch in the height of summer."

Xu Guangqi, hearing this, found it a colossal pain in the neck. The White Lotus sect, from the former Song all the way to the Great Ming, had always been condemned as heresy — who the hell knew what that trick of theirs for producing ice in summer was all about?

If one were to speak of genuine black magic, Xu Guangqi did not believe in it; at the very most, it was nothing more than a sleight of hand no one had yet figured out.

Sure enough, the Chongzhen Emperor continued: "According to that book's account, on one occasion, while this man was performing his ice-making trick, he was seized by the authorities.

The official ordered his hands cut off, took one of his fingers, and immersed it in a cup of tea — the water promptly turned cold, then froze into ice. They tried it again, and it worked once more.

The official then examined his other hand and found the fingernails packed full of saltpeter powder. When the Mongol Yuan swept south, this sole surviving copy was lost, and it is thought that the art of ice-making was lost along with it."

A single note is enough for a trained ear to catch the melody — Xu Guangqi understood at once what the Chongzhen Emperor was aiming for. He wanted to try producing ice, but it would be unseemly for the Emperor to get his own hands dirty; he meant to use Xu Guangqi to accomplish the deed.

Now that he had grasped what the Chongzhen Emperor wanted, Xu Guangqi bowed and said, "If Your Majesty will wait but a moment, your humble servant is willing to attempt it." With that, he summoned a man and gave him a few instructions.

Before long, men arrived bearing several basins of water, large and small, and another man came carrying a sack of saltpeter.

Once these men had set the basins and the saltpeter upon the table, Xu Guangqi reached out to test the water temperature, then picked up a fist-sized lump of saltpeter and tossed it into one of the basins.

It merely bubbled and fizzed for a moment, then fell utterly still.

Chongzhen leaned in to look.

Seeing no change in the water, he was just beginning to doubt whether he had remembered wrong or gotten the ice-making method completely wrong when Xu Guangqi reached out again to test the water temperature and said, curiously, "How strange — the water temperature really has dropped."

Thank heaven I didn't get egg on my face! Chongzhen let out a long breath of relief.

Seeing that the saltpeter in the basin was still in chunks and had not dissolved much, he said, "Perhaps the saltpeter chunks are too large? My dear minister Xu, why not first break the saltpeter into small pieces or powder?"

Xu Guangqi, hearing this, nodded and replied, "Indeed — it must be that the saltpeter chunks are too large. Your Majesty also mentioned earlier that the man from the former Song used powder."

Xu Guangqi then summoned men to take the sack of saltpeter away and replace it with saltpeter powder originally intended for compounding gunpowder.

This time the results were much better than before — perhaps because the saltpeter had been ground into powder, or perhaps because Xu Guangqi poured in rather more of it?

Xu Guangqi again reached into the water, intending to test the temperature. But this time he snatched his hand back at once, his face lighting up with delight: "It's working!"

As he spoke, he poured in more powder, and this time the situation was entirely different from before. In a short while, ice crystals slowly began to form on the water's surface, and after about a quarter of an hour, a thin layer of ice had frozen across the top.

Chongzhen exclaimed with joy, "It's done!"

Xu Guangqi, hearing this, was equally delighted, though success had not addled his wits: "Reporting to Your Majesty, ice-making with saltpeter is feasible. However, how much saltpeter yields how much ice still requires repeated experimentation.

Moreover, it is not yet clear whether this ice is fit for consumption — though I suspect it is not."

Chongzhen, however, gave a sly chuckle.

He reached out and picked up the basin with the least water and the smallest size, held it suspended above the basin that had frozen, and said with a grin, "Place the saltpeter powder in the bottom basin, let that basin freeze first, and then when the water in this upper layer freezes, it will carry no saltpeter.

At that point, won't we be able to eat it as we please?"

Xu Guangqi, hearing this, let out a rueful laugh and said, "Your Majesty's brilliance far surpasses your servant's. In this way, this ice will be just like the iced treats sold on the streets — perfectly edible."

Chongzhen set down the basin in his hands and said with a smile, "Quite so. But, my dear minister Xu, do experiment further and determine the optimal ratio.

Only, do not let this method leak out. While the summer heat lasts, We intend to sell a good deal of ice, and when the time comes, your funding here will be all the more ample."

Never mind Xu Guangqi — even scientific researchers in later ages, which one of them did not long for ample funding? The more funding one had, the more experiments one could run, and when the time came, both fame and profit would be all the greater.

Now, tempted thus by the Chongzhen Emperor, Xu Guangqi promptly bowed and said, "Your Majesty may rest assured. This academy was separated from the outside world to begin with; so long as the guards do their duty, this ice-making method will not leak out."

The Chongzhen Emperor chuckled twice, then instructed Cao Huachun, who had accompanied him: "Send your men over. Once Minister Xu here has worked out the ice-making process, the Eastern Depot will handle the ice-making operation from then on.

Apart from what the palace requires, dispatch your subordinates to organize the sale of it."

Cao Huachun, hearing this, bowed in acknowledgment. At present, though the palace's stored ice was not inconsiderable, it had not reached the point of unrestricted supply. Now this was splendid — able to make ice in summer, from now on they could produce ice as freely as they wished!

After leaving the Royal Academy, however, Chongzhen gave Cao Huachun further instructions: "Remember this — from now on, the ice that contains no saltpeter is to be supplied to the palace and the Great Ming. The ice mixed with saltpeter is to be sold to the steppe and to Liaodong!

All those unsavory concoctions your Eastern Depot cooks up — so long as they can't be detected, mix some of those in as well. So long as it won't be discovered in the short term, mix it in freely!"

Cao Huachun, himself no good thing either, bowed and replied, "Rest easy, Imperial Lord, your slave knows what to do. Just as with the salt monopoly — what ought not appear within the Great Ming will absolutely never appear!

As for the rest, your slave guarantees the barbarians of the steppe and Liaodong will be most fond of it."

Chongzhen gave an "Mm" and said in praise, "That will do nicely. Put some extra thought into it — ideally, sell that specially treated ice to those western barbarians as well."

Cao Huachun, aiming to amuse, put on a pained expression and said, "Imperial Lord, now you are making things difficult for your slave. Ice in summer is certainly hard to preserve.

The steppe and Liaodong alone are manageable — at worst, we can produce it on the spot along the borders of the steppe and Liaodong in time. But selling it to the western barbarians — I fear it would all melt before it could be transported there."

Chongzhen, however, laughed and scolded, "You fool! If you don't know how to preserve it, can't you have others research how to preserve it? This Royal Academy is full of talented men — what are you keeping them idle for?"

Cao Huachun hurriedly bowed and said, "The Imperial Lord is sagely wise; your slave is merely too stupid."

(End of chapter)