Chapter 194: The Post Stations Are Ours!

The assembled ministers of the Great Ming court were utterly speechless at having an emperor like Chongzhen. The last one who came close was Zhengde, and by all accounts even he wasn't this much of a lunatic.

First, he left behind an edict one day ordering the Empress to oversee the realm, with Wen Tiren and Shi Fenglai assisting in governance — and then he just ran off. Three days later, he showed up in court again.

Wen Tiren and Shi Fenglai included, everyone wanted to grab Chongzhen by the collar and demand: couldn't you just say court is suspended for a day? Assisting in governance? What could possibly happen in a single day? Assist my ass.

Yet no matter how dissatisfied the ministers were, Chongzhen had already appeared in court, so the morning session that needed to be held still had to be held. Only, for two days straight, Chongzhen's behavior was perfectly normal — no imagined heads rolling, nor any other freakish stunts pulled.

The ministers even began to feel that an emperor like this was rather endearing, carrying a certain air of a wise ruler.

However, the law that awesomeness never lasts more than three seconds held just as true in the Great Ming. On the third day, the grand drama Chongzhen had been waiting for finally began to unfold.

The freshly minted Censor Mao Yujian could finally hold back no longer. After the routine court obeisance, he stepped out of rank and memorialized: "Your Majesty, your subject Censor Mao Yujian has a memorial."

Chongzhen, as expressionless as ever, grunted an acknowledgment and said: "Speak."

Mao Yujian bowed as protocol demanded: "Your Majesty, at present Shaanxi suffers a great drought, which affects the entire Great Ming court, high and low. The silver in the state treasury is insufficient, and it is feared that relief efforts cannot be sustained.

Your subject believes that to make the state treasury abundant, the way lies in nothing other than opening up revenue sources and cutting expenditures.

Your subject is dull-witted and does not understand the way of opening up revenue sources. On cutting expenditures, however, he has some humble opinions.

At the founding of our Great Ming, the Exalted Emperor, Grand Progenitor, converted the stations of the false Yuan into post stations. Thereafter, post stations were widely established throughout the realm.

In the three hundred-plus years since the founding of the state, the post stations have fallen into decay and achieved nothing. Their personnel grow ever more bloated.

Moreover, the matter of post relay is the greatest affliction upon the people.

Today, seven or eight out of every ten prefectures and counties in the realm are burdened by the post stations, yet the post stations are used for public business only one or two times out of ten, and for private matters eight or nine times out of ten.

Your subject believes that the post stations could be abolished, saving over three hundred thousand taels each year to replenish the state treasury."

Chongzhen nodded but said nothing. After a long silence, he suddenly asked: "Yesterday, my beloved minister, you knelt at home for an entire day, did you not? How was the experience?"

Hearing this, Mao Yujian was somewhat stupefied. Is the issue at hand whether I knelt for a day or not? Aren't we discussing whether to abolish the post stations?

But since the Emperor had asked, Mao Yujian had no choice but to answer cautiously: "Your Majesty, your subject is ordinarily somewhat henpecked."

Chongzhen grunted, and another silence fell.

Mao Yujian grew increasingly bewildered. On one hand, he was alarmed by how the Depot and the Guard had eyes everywhere — the matter of him kneeling on the washboard had been done secretly in the bedroom, with no one there to see it.

On the other hand, he was baffled as to what exactly the Chongzhen Emperor was thinking — damn it, are you abolishing the post stations or not? Can you just give me a straight answer?

If we can abolish them, let's get on with it. If not, I'll think of another way and later rope in some other big shots to submit a joint memorial.

Just as Mao Yujian and the other ministers were all in a state of frightened uncertainty, the Chongzhen Emperor suddenly asked: "Beloved Minister Wen, what exactly were these post stations established for? What function are they meant to serve?"

Wen Tiren was equally baffled by the question, but still honestly stepped out of rank and answered: "Your Majesty, ever since the Exalted Emperor, Grand Progenitor, ascended the throne, he converted the stations of the false Yuan into post stations, to be used for conveying envoys and travelers, flying reports of military intelligence, and transporting military supplies and materiel.

He further stipulated that post relay was not permitted except for grave military and state affairs.

In the twenty-sixth year of the Hongwu reign, the Regulations on the Granting of Post Relay was promulgated. The regulations and their supplementary rules totaled twelve articles, defining those qualified to use post horses and post boats.

All others were forbidden to 'presumptuously ride post relay boats and horses without authorization,' with violators severely punished."

Chongzhen remained expressionless, only his tone growing ever more flat: "Beloved Minister Mao, have you heard clearly the uses of these post stations? Do you still wish to abolish them?"

Of course they must be abolished!

Damn it all, if it weren't for this thing being so developed and fast, how could the news of me keeping a mistress have traveled back to my hometown in just a few short days, and brought that shrew of a wife charging into the capital to catch me in the act?

It made me kneel an entire night! Motherfucker!

Nursing his secret hatred, Mao Yujian immediately bowed and said: "Your Majesty, abolishing the post stations is not the work of a single moment. If pursued gradually, it can save the state treasury a great deal of silver.

Whether used for Liaodong or for relieving the people in disaster-stricken areas, it would still be a great achievement."

Chongzhen nodded, then asked: "Yet what of flying reports of military intelligence and transporting military supplies and materiel? How are those to be resolved?"

Mao Yujian replied: "Your Majesty, the Great Ming realm is now stable within, and all within the four seas is at peace. Though there are the Jianzhou barbarians in Liaodong, they are but a minor ailment.

What military intelligence is there that requires post stations to fly reports? What military supplies and materiel are there that require transport?"

You make it sound so damn reasonable, We are practically at a loss for words!

The Chongzhen Emperor, pained beyond measure, asked next: "And what of the soldiers and men of the post stations? What should be done with them?"

Mao Yujian, still bowing, said: "Your Majesty, your subject believes the soldiers and men of the post stations can be discharged on the spot and made civilians, or perhaps left to find their own way."

Well said! There should be applause here! Chongzhen felt like giving Mao Yujian thirty-two thumbs up!

You bastard — let them find their own way? And then sixteen years later some fellow surnamed Li will come charging into the capital with his henchmen, thick smoke billowing, forcing me to hack my wife and daughters to death before hanging myself from a tree?

At this point, Chongzhen could finally no longer be bothered to bullshit with Mao Yujian: "Beloved Minister Mao, how many days has it been since you were promoted from County Magistrate to Censor? Less than half a month, is it not?

First you took a concubine, and then your wife traveled a thousand li from your hometown to the capital to catch you in the act. And so, beloved minister, you knelt at home for an entire day, did you not?"

Hearing this, Mao Yujian knelt and said: "Your subject is deficient in private virtue, and his crimes deserve ten thousand deaths!"

Chongzhen, however, smiled faintly and said: "Deficient private virtue is no great matter. After all, taking concubines and keeping mistresses is not prohibited by the Great Ming Code. As for being henpecked, that is even less a violation of the Great Ming Code. So none of these are crimes."

Mao Yujian, deeply moved, kowtowed and said: "Your subject thanks Your Majesty for your vast grace!"

Chongzhen did not bid Mao Yujian rise, but instead asked Wen Tiren with a smile: "Beloved Minister Wen, how exactly do the regulations on granting post relay stipulate?"

Though Wen Tiren had no idea what Chongzhen was driving at by suddenly asking this, he still honestly answered: "Your Majesty, as set by the Regulations on Granting Post Relay of the third year of the Wanli reign, in broad terms: without undertaking official business, the borrowing and use of travel warrants is not permitted; without connection to military affairs, the unauthorized use of gongs, drums, banners, and pennants is not permitted.

Matters such as mourning leave, reinstatement, certification, promotion, transfer, reassignment, and arrival at post for officials in the capital and the prefectures and counties are no longer included in official business.

Travel warrants are uniformly not issued, and post relay travel is not permitted.

The use of post station resources is also strictly limited. For example, the number of sedan chair bearers and horses used has a fixed quota and must not exceed the standard.

For passing officials, only necessities such as grain, vegetables, candles, and charcoal are provided, so that they do not fall into luxury and waste.

At the same time, there are the Three Prohibitions, to avoid adding to the people's burdens: no apportioning costs to the lijia units, no calculating the distance of the journey and converting the surplus into private gain, and no giving additional farewell banquets, red paper and paper money, or gifts of parting silver or gifts of parting goods."

Chongzhen nodded, then asked further: "Are the family members of officials ever permitted to use post relay?"

By now, Wen Tiren had already understood what Chongzhen was really after. It was probably that Mao Yujian's wife had traveled via the post stations, and somehow the Chongzhen Emperor had run right into her.

Not only had Wen Tiren figured it out — even Mao Yujian now understood why the Chongzhen Emperor had been acting so strangely today. He was afraid there was no escaping this calamity.

As for Wen Tiren, acting on the principle of "better you than me, fellow Daoist," he respectfully answered: "Your Majesty, it is not permitted."

At this point, the Chongzhen Emperor finally revealed the dagger behind his smile: "The day before yesterday, We made a temporary stop at a post station outside the city and encountered a curious matter.

Beloved Minister Mao's wife traveled a thousand li to the capital to seek her husband, yet openly and brazenly lodged herself in a post station.

We are most curious: was she on official business? If so, whence came her official status? If not, whence came the travel warrant required to stay at a post station?

What is more, Beloved Minister Mao's wife wantonly cursed and beat the post station runners within the station — the arrogance of her bearing is plain to see. That Beloved Minister Mao is henpecked now becomes quite understandable."

Having finished this speech, Chongzhen then turned his gaze to Mao Yujian, who had already collapsed limp upon the ground: "Does Beloved Minister Mao have anything to instruct Us in?"

Mao Yujian felt as if all the strength had been drained from his body. He could only answer in a trembling voice: "Your subject is guilty. Your subject's crimes deserve ten thousand deaths!"

Chongzhen, however, paid Mao Yujian no heed whatsoever, and merely said flatly: "Henceforth, all post station runners of all post stations shall be placed under the management of the palace, following the precedent of the Embroidered Uniform Guard.

All revenues and expenditures shall also belong to the privy purse. Henceforth, all post station hospitality shall take the Regulations on Granting Post Relay of the third year of the Wanli reign as the standard.

Violators shall be punished one degree more severely."

Only after the assembled ministers had all bowed and acknowledged the decree did Chongzhen turn his eyes once more to Mao Yujian: "Simply because your wife caught you in adultery and made you kneel for a day, you dared to disregard grave military and state affairs and submit a memorial to abolish the post stations.

Truly, a loyal and devoted minister you are.

However, a minister as loyal and reverent as you — We cannot afford to employ. You shall go keep Huang Liji company!"

—

Fellow readers' base — open that shameless penguin, then search for the group, enter 482571206. The answer is Chongzhen, Zhu Youjian, Zhu Xiaosong, the Chongzhen Emperor — any of these answers is correct anyway, any of them will get you in. The admin ladies welcome you.

(End of chapter)