Chapter 2: Whose Exactly Is This Realm — Ours, or the Donglin Faction's?

As for how to avoid hanging himself from that old crooked-neck tree on Coal Hill, Chongzhen didn't really have any brilliant ideas.

But judging from the novels he'd read in the later era, those upright gentlemen were utterly unreliable — even if the mountains and rivers turned upside down and sows climbed trees, those "upright gentlemen" would probably still be utterly unreliable.

Still, for the newly enthroned Chongzhen Emperor, the environment of the first year of Chongzhen was simply dozens, even hundreds of times better than the environment after the third year of Chongzhen.

At this moment, Wei Zhongxian had not yet been eliminated, and the Depot and the Guard still possessed their due deterrent power and capability. In some respects, Wei Zhongxian, as the Emperor's household slave, was more reliable than those "upright gentlemen."

When the Chuang army entered Beijing, those who died in battle were mostly eunuchs — as for the entire court of civil and military officials and the nobility, they had long been "welcoming the royal army with baskets of food and pots of drink" — though in the end, the Chuang King forced all these people at knifepoint to hand over their silver, which did at least vent some spite for the Chongzhen Emperor!

"Wang Cheng'en, summon Tian Ergeng of the Embroidered Uniform Guard, and Wei Zhongxian, to see Us." Wang Cheng'en — the one eunuch who stayed with the Chongzhen Emperor when he hanged himself at Coal Hill; the other Eastern Depot commander Fang Zhenghua and the rest had already fought to the death.

When Wei Zhongxian and Tian Ergeng came to see Chongzhen, Chongzhen was holding a copy of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, turning a page now and then.

"Your old slave Wei Zhongxian, your subject Tian Ergeng, kowtow to His Majesty, long live, long live, for ten thousand years!"

Behind the imperial desk, Chongzhen's face was expressionless. He did not tell the two to rise, just kept reading Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

Kneeling below, Wei Zhongxian and Tian Ergeng inwardly speculated what the Chongzhen Emperor's intention was in summoning them so late at night, yet they absolutely could not be certain of any one possibility.

They worried that five hundred axe-men might be lying in ambush behind the screen, yet deep down they also vaguely sensed there might be some other issue.

As time slowly ticked by, the thoughts in their minds multiplied, and they grew increasingly unable to fathom what exactly the Chongzhen Emperor was thinking.

Just as fine, sweat like cow's hair began beading on their foreheads, Chongzhen behind the imperial desk spoke: "Wei, Our companion, tell Us — whose exactly is this Great Ming? Ours? Yours, the Nine Thousand Years? Or the Donglin Faction's? Or the common people of the realm's?"

Kneeling on the floor, Wei Zhongxian's mind raced, yet he still could not guess the meaning behind Chongzhen's words. Did this mean he wouldn't have to die? Was His Majesty displeased with the Donglin Faction?

Before Wei Zhongxian could open his mouth to speak, Chongzhen continued: "You may rise. Tian Ergeng, you rise as well."

After the two gave thanks and rose, a remark from Chongzhen frightened Wei Zhongxian right back onto his knees: "Reading the Three Kingdoms, We have discovered something rather interesting.

Clearly, only a few minor clerks were needed to seize the Ten Regular Attendants — so why did the Grand General still summon troops from the various regions to the capital?"

As he spoke, Chongzhen looked at Tian Ergeng with a face full of amusement and said: "This Embroidered Uniform Guard — is it, in the end, Our own Imperial Guard, or the Imperial Guard of the Nine Thousand Years, Wei Zhongxian?"

Wei Zhongxian was scared half to death, thinking the Son of Heaven wanted Tian Ergeng and the Embroidered Uniform Guard to move against him. He hurriedly knelt and begged for punishment: "Your old slave is guilty! Your old slave deserves death ten thousand times over!"

Tian Ergeng was equally unable to fathom what the Emperor wanted to do. Could it be that he was to arrest the Nine Thousand Years?

Better a fellow Daoist dies than this poor Daoist — if you, Wei Zhongxian, die, then I can live. As long as the Emperor does not kill me, even if he ordered me to immediately seize Wei Zhongxian, then I'd just have to send Wei Zhongxian to his death first!

Holding this thought, Tian Ergeng also hurriedly knelt and begged for punishment: "Your Majesty, this Embroidered Uniform Guard is naturally Your Majesty's own Imperial Guard! Your subject, toward Your Majesty, is naturally also utterly loyal."

Chongzhen, still expressionless, gave an "Mm," and said to the two: "Rise."

For Wei Zhongxian and Tian Ergeng, gauging the imperial will had practically become instinct, yet Chongzhen's expression remained blank throughout, making it impossible to guess what he was really thinking.

Chongzhen, however, took in the two men's reactions completely, inwardly amused: Who can't act? Teacher Chen Daoming's portrayal of the Pockmarked Kang was truly imposing.

For Us to learn that kind of imposing manner from Teacher Chen Daoming — We can't pull it off. So We have no choice but to learn from those young idol actors of the later era — if the acting's good enough,

a wooden face will make up for it!

Seeing that the intimidation had gone on long enough, Chongzhen spoke again, this time addressing Wei Zhongxian: "Zhongxian, Zhongxian — loyal and worthy. Not a bad name.

Still, I hope you are truly loyal." Without waiting for Wei Zhongxian to speak, Chongzhen's next words made Wei Zhongxian's heart clench again: "Zhongxian, tell Us — the Great Ming has no shortage of guard battalions, so why have they grown ever more rotten?

So rotten that they let those Tungusic wild boar skins bully Us to this extent? The Great Ming possesses all within the four seas — why then is the national treasury growing ever poorer, constantly needing subsidies from the privy purse?"

Wei Zhongxian was clear as a mirror in his heart: The Emperor has the nerve to ask? Your elder brother did nothing but play carpenter all day.

If I hadn't held this Great Ming together for him, it would have fucking collapsed long ago. But in a flash, another thought arose: What exactly is this young Emperor thinking?

A question like this can't possibly be aimless. Could it be that His Majesty is also displeased with the Donglin Faction?

Thinking further — anyway, I've never left a good impression on this Chongzhen, and I'm probably doomed to die.

Might as well flip the whole damn table over and drag those Donglin bastards down to be buried with me: "In reply to His Majesty, though the Great Ming possesses all within the four seas, the taxes are only collected from the farming households.

How many coppers can those mud-legged peasants possibly have? The truly wealthy are those great merchants, yet they are linked by countless threads to the Donglin Faction.

The commercial taxes simply cannot be collected — the moment anyone tries, the Donglin Faction starts shouting again that one must not compete with the people for profit.

As for those savages in Liaodong — Liaodong is harsh and barren, yet there are not a few great merchants who disregard the state and, for profit, privately sell weapons and provisions over there, even daring to sell intelligence on the border armies. If this goes on..."

Wei Zhongxian left the rest unsaid. Saying everything outright might not do any good; say half, leave half, let the Emperor mull it over himself.

Not afraid he'll think — afraid he won't. As long as he does think, even if I, Wei Zhongxian, cannot escape death, you Donglin Faction lot will sooner or later have to come down and keep me company!

Never mind what Wei Zhongxian was thinking in his heart — Chongzhen brought up the earlier question again: "Then tell Us — whose exactly is this realm?"

Wei Zhongxian saw there was no avoiding it and said helplessly to Chongzhen: "In reply to His Majesty, this realm is naturally His Majesty's.

His Majesty is brilliant and divinely martial, his radiance illuminates ten thousand li, he has received Heaven's mandate — naturally, he is the master of this realm."

Chongzhen listened, then with a mirthless smile squeezed out two words: "Heh heh." Had anyone from the later era been present, they would certainly have heard countless meanings in those two words — things like "bullshit," like "S-B," like "son of a bitch" — in any case, nothing good.

Yet to Wei Zhongxian's ears, those two malice-laden words sounded like heavenly music — from the look of it, His Majesty was displeased with the Donglin Faction! And he wasn't testing me! I really don't have to die this time! Now it's those bastard Donglin scoundrels' turn to die!

Watching Wei Zhongxian's old face bloom into a smile like a blossoming chrysanthemum, Chongzhen turned the conversation toward Tian Ergeng: "Tian Ergeng, We want the Embroidered Uniform Guard to have the prestige and capability it possessed in the Yongle era.

Can you accomplish this? Rest assured, We will not kill the donkey once the grinding is done.

So long as you do not act recklessly behind Our back, We guarantee you will not die. If you cannot do it, We can find someone else to do it in your place.

Well?"

Hearing this, Tian Ergeng was both alarmed and delighted.

Alarmed that the Emperor might truly find someone to replace him, because that would mean his own death was near; delighted that not only could he stay alive, but before others, he would still be that awe-inspiring Commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard.

Thinking of this, Tian Ergeng hastily knelt to declare his stance: "Your subject will exert himself to the death for His Majesty, would not refuse even ten thousand deaths!"

Chongzhen merely said to Tian Ergeng: "We are assigning you one task today. If it is handled well, you remain the Guard Commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard. If it is botched, then you will take your own life. The dynasty does not keep useless waste. Do you understand?"

Tian Ergeng groaned inwardly, knowing that Chongzhen was about to drop some colossal burden onto his back, but he dared not say anything, merely lowering his head and saying: "I beg Your Majesty to instruct me.

Your subject will exert every ounce of his ability, would not refuse even ten thousand deaths!"

Tian Ergeng knelt on the ground awaiting Chongzhen's orders. He heard Chongzhen give an "Mm," then say: "Thirty days.

We give you only one month. We want to know the personal fortunes and assets of every gentleman in the Grand Secretariat, as well as the Ministers and Vice Ministers of the Six Ministries.

We do not care what methods or means you use — the Nine Thousand Years' prestige is still intact, so get this matter sorted out clearly for Us. Otherwise, you will be of no further use."

Turning around, Chongzhen said to Wei Zhongxian: "And you — bring out your authority as Depot Commander. We do not wish to hear the racket of those Donglin bookworms!"