Chapter 31: Sons Born Without That Certain Something

Lu Xiangsheng disliked the Xuanfu main hall intensely. For no other reason than that the previous Prefect of Xuanfu had been made into a straw man and hung from the rafters of the hall, a constant reminder to all who came after of just how perilous official life could be.

Of course, Lu Xiangsheng was not worried that he himself would be hung up there. Because he did not engage in corruption, and the Chongzhen Emperor, who like the Hongwu Emperor delighted in turning corrupt officials into straw men, would certainly never hang him up.

But watching that straw man sway and swing in the main hall every day was deeply unsettling. So Lu Xiangsheng generally preferred to stay in the rear hall.

Today, however, two men were keeping him company over tea in the rear hall. One was tall and powerfully built, his hands like palm-leaf fans, his knuckles thick and prominent.

He wore a flying-fish robe, and a Xiuchun saber hung at his waist — even in the rear hall of the prefectural yamen, his blade never left his side. He was unmistakably a Chiliarch of the Embroidered Uniform Guard.

The other man wore a peaked cap, a narrow sash at his waist, and white leather boots on his feet.

Unlike the brown robes worn by the file leaders of the Eastern Depot, this man's garments were black; in all other respects, he was indistinguishable from an Eastern Depot file leader.

His expression was dark and sinister, his face pale and beardless — he was precisely a file leader of the Inner Depot.

The Embroidered Uniform Guard Chiliarch raised his tea and took a sip, then said, "Magistrate Lu, the evidence against those eight houses is nearly all in hand. Once the Jianzhou barbarians withdraw, we can dispatch troops to surround and purge them.

However, this affair has a rather thorny aspect."

Lu Xiangsheng asked with curiosity, "Oh? What matter could even your Embroidered Uniform Guard find thorny?"

The Embroidered Uniform Guard Chiliarch said, "Old Gao here won't keep it from you.

When this Gao came to Xuanfu, I activated a sleeper who had lain hidden in the Fan household for six or seven years, and obtained a good deal of evidence.

Word came through today: a shipment of grain, fodder, and goods is to pass beyond the pass tonight."

Lu Xiangsheng flew into a rage at this and cursed, "The gall! If the Jianzhou barbarians are besieging the city, then what these eight houses are doing is selling out the state and aiding the enemy!"

Chiliarch Gao said, "Did His Majesty not send us precisely for this matter? It is just that today's business is hard to handle.

If we let this shipment of supplies and fodder go, I, Gao, will be unwilling in my heart and unworthy before His Majesty.

But if we intercept this shipment, I fear these eight houses will be driven to desperate measures and coordinate with the Jianzhou barbarians from within and without. That is why I find it thorny."

Lu Xiangsheng was also sunk in silent thought. While he was still considering what to do, the Inner Depot file leader pondered briefly, then said, "Let it go. Let it pass."

Lu Xiangsheng and Chiliarch Gao both turned to look at the Inner Depot file leader. They heard him say, "Drug it!

I possess a secret formula unique to the palace. This substance is refined from croton beans; it is colorless and odorless, and can be mixed into wine, water, or food.

It takes effect only after one double-hour has passed. Those afflicted will suffer unceasing diarrhea.

Without the antidote, even if a physician is present, it will be useless."

Lu Xiangsheng and Chiliarch Gao both cursed inwardly in unison: "What a vicious, dead eunuch! May the sons you bear have no—!" Then they caught themselves, remembering that eunuchs could not bear sons at all — and if they did, the father was most likely Old Wang next door.

Lu Xiangsheng thought it over and shook his head. "This plan will not work. How could the Jianzhou barbarians fail to inspect it? Besides, those carrying out this task are most likely the trusted confidants of the eight houses. How could they possibly be willing to cooperate?"

Chiliarch Gao, however, laughed and said, "Prefect Lu is a man of upright character. Old Gao here and this gentleman from the Inner Depot are not.

Once we capture the delivery men halfway along the road, whatever we want them to say, they will say — and they most certainly will not utter half a word more."

Lu Xiangsheng was taken aback for a moment, then gave a rueful smile. "In that case, I must trouble you two."

The three discussed the plan further, then went their separate ways to carry it out.

To guard against mishaps, Lu Xiangsheng, under the pretext of raising provisions to resist the barbarians, summoned the eight great locust merchants to drink together.

His thought was that if the scheme were exposed, he would simply seize and execute them on the spot, then fall back on the secondary plan: directly sending the army to surround and exterminate the entire clans of the eight great locust merchants.

If a few individuals slipped away because of it, so be it — they could not afford to worry about that now.

Chiliarch Gao mustered all combat-ready troops from his Chiliarchy, while the nameless Inner Depot file leader brought several of his agents, and together they set out to lie in ambush along the route the locust merchants' caravan was certain to take.

The two groups, united by a single objective, quietly lay in ambush in the woods outside the city. It was not until the moon was nearing its zenith that the locust merchants' caravan finally arrived.

At a single command, the troops Chiliarch Gao had brought from his Chiliarchy surrounded the entire caravan.

Once all the locust merchants' men had clasped their heads and knelt on the ground, Chiliarch Gao picked out the man in charge, then casually grabbed a young servant who had been standing beside the manager, and brought both before the Inner Depot file leader.

He said, "These two I leave to you, Gonggong. This Gao is fortunate today to witness the methods of the palace."

Hearing this, the manager nearly fainted dead away.

What his own household had been doing — he knew perfectly well in his heart. Now that the Depot and the Guard had arrived together, he feared a good end was unlikely.

The Inner Depot Gonggong laughed and said, "Brother Gao, set your mind at ease. Today I shall let you have a good look at my humble skills." His speech carried no trace of effeminate softness, only a dark, vicious edge.

With that, he did not even glance at the manager. He merely ordered his men to take the young servant aside and work on him.

By the time every method had been applied, the young servant no longer resembled a human being, yet still clung to a single thread of breath.

Only then did Chiliarch Gao say to the manager, "Did you see everything clearly?"

The manager was already half-dead with terror, barely holding back his bowels and bladder by sheer force of will. He immediately nodded his head like a chick pecking at grain and said, "I saw, I saw.

Whatever orders the officers have, this old man will carry them out without fail, absolutely no shirking."

Chiliarch Gao laughed. "It's nothing much. In a moment, you'll just go about your business as usual." By then, the Inner Depot file leader had already slipped the drug into all the wine, water, and food in the caravan.

Seeing the file leader return after administering the drug, Chiliarch Gao spoke to the manager again: "Never mind what your relationship is with Fan Yongdou and the rest.

So long as you cooperate properly today, this Chiliarch and the Gonggong beside me will jointly guarantee that everyone here today, and all your family members, will be safe and unharmed.

But if any word leaks out — you yourself might survive, but the families of every last one of you, from eighty-year-old mothers above to the unborn babes in the womb below, will all enjoy the same punishment as that man just now."

As he spoke, he gestured for the manager to look again at the young servant, who was now completely ruined. The servant still had not breathed his last, but it was plain to see that after enduring such living torment, he would be hard-pressed to last until dawn.

The manager brooded to himself. It was only because his own elder sister was Fan Yongdou's concubine that he had been able to become the manager of this caravan.

If Fan Yongdou fell, he himself might well rise a step further. After all, once Fan Yongdou and his lot were wiped out, the vacancies they left behind would surely need someone to fill them.

As for his own sister?

The manager immediately ventured a probe: "Officer, this humble one was coerced by that Fan Yongdou — I had no choice but to do it. Only, this humble one still has an elder sister, forcibly taken as a concubine by that old wretch Fan Yongdou. Might I ask the officer—?"

Without waiting for Chiliarch Gao to speak, the Inner Depot file leader said, "One woman — let it be. I shall make the decision: she will be spared this time. When you return, come with me and simply point her out."

Having secured this promise, the manager — pressed by the threat to the lives of his entire family, old and young, and blinded by the greed to replace Fan Yongdou — how could he possibly refuse?

He immediately conferred with the others in the caravan, then identified several young servants fiercely loyal to Fan Yongdou and asked the Eastern Depot file leader to have his men work on them, cowing the remaining servants in the caravan.

Only then did he lead the caravan onward, continuing toward the great camp of the Jianzhou barbarians.