Chapter 471: Clever Ones Everywhere in the World

"Kill it!"

"Kill it!"

"Kill it!"

"Kill it!"

On the grandstand of Huben City, a tsunami of shouts drowned out everything. If He Changqi wielded a stick against a tiger, there was still a hint of "cheating" in it.

But a lone hunter taking down a leopard with bare hands completely stirred the bloodlust in the hearts of the Tang people!

In their minds, tigers, leopards, jackals and wolves were like the barbarian tribes that Emperor Taizong of the early Tang swept across the frontier with his army.

They seemed ferocious and brutal, but in fact were no match for a single blow.

A fine son of the Great Tang should be just like this!

"Ah, how cruel, the poor leopard!"

The pair of women beside Fang Chongyong's seat let out delicate, trembling exclamations.

But the "Kouchi Ge" beside her smiled and explained to the woman wearing a curtain veil:

"Ji, Ji Lanzi, th‑that, th‑that all, all, all a performance, a play. Xuan, Xuanwu, the army, Jiedushi Fang, Fang Guozhong, is, is teasing, teasing you, you're just playing!"

"Jin, Jin people, Wang, Wang Meng, Qing Yue himself, himself, self‑guard, home, home, whenever there is a visitor at home, it must, must, must be clear water, water to be treated. At times, people jokingly say that today there is a flood."

"Mong, the brave men fighting, fighting the tiger is clear, clear water. Fang, Fang Jiedushi, is, is to let the world know about the flood."

This "Kouchi Ge" actually saw through Fang Chongyong's scheme, and even quoted classics fluently! Though mostly joking, it still showed quick wit.

【7】 Fang Chongyong couldn't help but glance at him again.

Fang Chongyong couldn't help but glance at him again.

What a hidden master! Quick‑witted, eyes like torches, and his speech was quite humorous.

But the woman beside him named "Ji Lanzi" clearly wasn't grateful. In a tone three parts coquettish, three parts scolding, she pleaded: "Hongjian, it's so noisy here, I want to return to the inn, could you escort me back?"

Just hearing that buttery, seductive voice made one's ears feel pregnant. No man full of youthful vigor could refuse.

However, "Kouchi Ge" waved his hand lightly and said:

"No, not in a hurry, we, we need to go, to pay a visit to Bianzhou Prefecture, the prefectural office. Very, very likely, we will see Fang Jiedushi. It's better to see clearly, better, a bit better."

"Kouchi Ge's" mind was clearly on this "warrior versus beast" event.

But what he cared about wasn't the valiant fighter or the ferocious beast, but what twisted and profound thoughts lay behind this once‑in‑a‑generation "performance art".

"Alas!"

"Ji Lanzi" clearly was a bit disappointed; she sighed: "From the nearest to the farthest things, from the deepest to the shallowest clear streams. From the highest to the bright sun and moon, from the closest to the most distant spouses. I never expected Lu Lang to be like this."

The utterance "Lu Lang" seemed intimate, but the tone was already quite distant.

Damn! Another master?

Fang Chongyong's brain felt like it would explode listening nearby; in his mind this woman, who seemed both flirtatious and cheap, could actually speak so eloquently!

Not to mention anything else, this "Ba Zhi" already expressed all the joys and sorrows of married life! Such a poem could certainly be passed down through the ages!

Even more outrageous, "Ji Lanzi" could, amid the heated beast‑fighting atmosphere, recite verses about lovers' private feelings. That developed romantic mind is truly incomparable!

Sure enough, hearing that, the "Lu Lang" in Ji Lanzi's mouth instantly lost the composure she had just displayed.

He already stammered, and now he babbled even more, defending:

"Ji, Ji Lanzi, I, I this time, am, am here to bring you to meet Brother Wenfang. I have, with you, no, no private feelings. I, I have already married, have a son. Don't, don't…"

He was so flustered he couldn't speak, then a flash of insight in his mind made him say: "One, one table paired with a tea kettle. Too many, and it's not good, not good."

"Kouchi Ge" suddenly noticed Fang Chongyong watching him with curious eyes, realizing he had made a misstep in the argument with "Ji Lanzi", and hurriedly performed a cross‑armed salute to Fang Chongyong.

Then he moved a bit closer to "Ji Lanzi", creating a slight distance between himself and Fang Chongyong's group.

"A Lang, you quickly deal with that slut."

A Na Ye suddenly leaned in and whispered:

"How to deal? Do you mean I should snatch someone back home and violate them? That can't be right, can it?"

Fang Chongyong looked at her with a puzzled expression and retorted:

"A Lang, can't you even see this?"

That slut is asking that stammerer to marry her, dropping countless hints.

That stammerer is clever, never falling into the trap, always deflecting openly and covertly.

Isn't that still a slut?

A Na Ye couldn't help but remind:

Although "Kouchi Ge" looked somewhat ugly and still stammered, his speech was witty, humorous, and full of wisdom.

As for "Ji Lanzi", A Na Ye simply had no affection for her.

One must admit, women judging women can be oddly precise, like a needle to the bone. Fang Chongyong often failed to spot high‑level "green‑tea bitches", but A Na Ye, as a woman, saw them at a glance.

"Deal with her?"

It's not impossible.

Fang Chongyong muttered to himself, suddenly thinking of a cheap trick.

He cleared his throat lightly, sat upright, and without warning loudly recited: "Falling blossoms have intention to follow the flowing water, the water is heartless, loving the fallen blossoms, how lamentable, how sad!"

Fang Chongyong, accustomed to issuing decisive military orders with a booming voice, his sudden display of affected elegance actually drew everyone's attention.

At that moment, "Kouchi Ge" stared at Fang Chongyong with a horrified face, confused and bewildered, wondering what he had done to offend him, causing Fang Chongyong to blurt out every possible topic!

"What do you know? What nonsense are you spouting!"

"Ji Lanzi" scolded, pointing at Fang Chongyong; behind the curtain veil, her angry yet delicate face was half‑concealed.

The lines about falling blossoms and heartless water struck exactly what she thought. Their poetic mood and flair were no less than her "Ba Zhi".

Fang Chongyong had just been "killing the heart"!

"Ji Lanzi" didn't claim her verses were the best in the world, but being mocked by someone who looks like a warrior or farmer, she couldn't be content!

"Ji Lanzi, sit down, sit down!"

Stuttering Brother was so frightened this time that he actually stopped stuttering, and hurriedly pressed Ji Lanzi down into his seat.

He too could sense that Fang Chongyong was most likely no ordinary person.

However, Fang Chongyong had no intention of letting Ji Lanzi off.

Since he had already struck at the heart, he would finish him off with one blow.

"The jeweled zither has fifty strings for no reason, each string and peg recalls the years of youth. Zhuangzi's dawn dream was lost in the butterfly; King Wang's spring longing was entrusted to the cuckoo.

In the vast sea, the moon is bright and pearls shed tears; at Lantian, the sun grows warm and jade gives off mist. Could this feeling have been left for remembrance? It was already bewildering in the moment itself.

Not understanding it yourself is one thing, but to treat everyone in the world as equally ignorant—

Is that not tragic and lamentable?"

Fang Chongyong clicked his tongue and sighed with emotion.

Both Stuttering Brother and Ji Lanzi were people who knew quality. The moment they heard this poem, they knew the burly man across from them was deeply concealed talent, his learning by no means inferior to theirs. A single verse tossed off casually was a masterpiece for the ages!

Both were instantly overcome with shame. Ji Lanzi in particular took an enormous blow to his confidence and deflated completely.

"Lu Lang, let's go."

Ji Lanzi pleaded in a low voice, his tone carrying a sob.

Stuttering Brother gave Fang Chongyong an awkward bow, memorized his appearance, and slipped away from the beast-fighting grounds with Ji Lanzi.

They soon disappeared from sight.

Having won against a coxcomb with a plagiarized poem, Fang Chongyong felt no sense of accomplishment at all. It was like buying a fragrant meat bun in the morning and, before even getting a chance to lick it, feeding it straight to a dog.

"Let's head back too. There's nothing interesting here anymore."

Fang Chongyong waved his hand listlessly.

"Alang, you were absolutely incredible just now! I can just imagine how awful that coxcomb's face must have looked!"

Anaye was beside herself with excitement. She stood up and linked her arm through Fang Chongyong's, feeling thoroughly delighted.

"Incredible my ass!

Poetry and prose can't be eaten or worn. In times of chaos, they're not worth a single copper!

If you followed some pedantic scholar who only knows how to compose poetry and couplets, he'd have sold you to a brothel long ago.

Now hurry up and let's go!"

Fang Chongyong slapped Anaye on her shapely rear and scolded in a low voice.

……

Ever since the day of the beast-fighting when he had seen Stuttering Brother and Ji Lanzi, Fang Chongyong did not see them again for several days in a row. Of course, he couldn't be bothered to inquire about those two's backgrounds either.

However, that day's "beast-fighting performance" caused an enormous sensation, and the speed at which the rumors spread far exceeded Fang Chongyong's expectations.

All kinds of related news spread outward in every direction, centered on Kaifeng City!

For a time, the talk was everywhere. In Bian Prefecture and the neighboring prefectures and counties, the tale of the Yinqiang Xiaojie Army's fierce warriors besting tigers had reached the point where every street and alley knew of it.

And the more it spread, the more outrageous it became!

At first, it was a warrior single-handedly wrestling a tiger.

Later, it was a warrior single-handedly hunting a tiger. Not only was the warrior not eaten by the tiger, he subdued it bare-handed.

Tell me that isn't badass!

Later still, it had escalated to tearing tigers and leopards apart bare-handed! And one person had torn apart several tigers and leopards!

In the Great Tang, many places followed the principle of "no matter how poor, you cannot let the temples be poor; no matter how bitter, you cannot let the immortals suffer." Buddhist temples and Daoist shrines were all exceptionally prosperous.

Everyone felt that someone who could "tear tigers and leoparts apart bare-handed" could only be a divine being who had walked out of a temple—beyond the reach of ordinary people.

This kind of army was a bit terrifying!

Thus, with the pushing of certain people with ulterior motives, various rumors about the Yinqiang Xiaojie Army began to appear, gradually overshadowing the events of that day's beast-fighting.

For instance, there was a rumor that the Abbasid Governor of Khurasan, Abu Muslim, was skilled at raising tigers and leopards. Every time he went into battle, he used them as vanguards to break enemy formations, which was why the Great Tang's border armies had suffered defeat after defeat.

But when they clashed with the Yinqiang Xiaojie Army, those tigers and leopards were so frightened they turned tail on the spot, causing the Abbasid forces to suffer a crushing defeat despite having an overwhelming ten-to-one numerical advantage!

The Yinqiang Xiaojie Army was fierce beyond words!

There were also other absurd stories that spread everywhere without restraint—tales of ten men holding a pass against ten thousand, a hundred cavalry breaking the Hebei rebel army's main camp, and the like—spreading far and wide, told in increasingly mythical terms.

After all, no one had actually witnessed those things, yet no one could deny that they hadn't happened either.

Don't ask—if you do, the answer is that the spectacle of tearing tigers and leopards apart in Bian Prefecture was something the teller saw with their own eyes!

People often gain their listeners' admiration and gasps of amazement through boasting, which in turn produces a strange sense of "pride," as if they themselves had taken part in the story being told.

However, according to statistical research from later generations' information science, when information is passed along by word of mouth, if there is no written record and no repeated verification, then with each transmission, information is lost or errors arise, at a rate between ten and thirty percent.

The exact amount depends on the cultural literacy of the person passing on the message. The lower the literacy, the higher the rate of loss.

Commonly known as "passing on errors."

Of course, this was also the effect Fang Chongyong had hoped to achieve.

Originally, as Military Commissioner of the Xuanwu Army, he administered six prefectures. But aside from Guo Na, the Bian Prefecture Inspector who was local to Bian Prefecture, the other five Inspectors had surprisingly not come to Kaifeng to "report for duty."

In other words, those people were pretending not to have heard Li Chang's imperial decree, and had no intention of cooperating with Fang Chongyong's military operations. Of course, the likelihood of them voluntarily defecting to the Hebei rebel army was also very small.

They were simply holding to the notion of "watching and waiting."

The execution of power requires channels. The decrees Li Chang issued in Luoyang were one thing; whether the various prefectures of Henan would carry them out in earnest was quite another!

Clearly, most of the Inspectors were biding their time. They could also see that the fast track to their own promotion was near, and none of them wanted to place their bets too early or hang themselves from a single tree.

Yet five days after the "warrior versus beast" event, Fang Chongyong's Military Commissioner's office in Bian Prefecture began receiving messages one after another from the neighboring prefectures.

Song Prefecture Inspector Li Jiayu, Cao Prefecture Inspector Li Pengnian, Chen Prefecture Inspector Xue Yuan, and Ying Prefecture Inspector Chen Shu all submitted letters requesting to come to Bian Prefecture in person to report for duty, discuss military affairs with Xuanwu Army Military Commissioner Fang Chongyong, and follow his arrangements.

As for Bo Prefecture Inspector Lu Zhongming, it was not that he didn't want to come, but that he couldn't—because he had recently passed away from illness, and the court had not yet had time to dispatch a new Inspector to Bo Prefecture.

Though the Inspector couldn't come, Bo Prefecture Sima Yan Bojun was very enthusiastic about the matter!

He was not merely one who responded enthusiastically — one could even say he was the one with the most enthusiastic attitude of all.

Yan Bojun was a disciple of Xiao Yingshi. Xiao Yingshi came from the Xiao clan of Lanling, was a great master of prose of the High Tang, and served as an official in Chang'an.

Though Xiao Yingshi also held office, day to day in the yamen he merely coasted and punched the clock, with no political accomplishments whatsoever.

Arrogant by nature yet fond of promoting younger talents, he wielded great influence in literary circles — a freak within the "Pure Stream faction."

Yan Bojun, however, was different from Xiao Yingshi. His ambition lay in officialdom; literature was merely a stepping stone. His heart was not in it, and he had no noteworthy works to his name.

In any case, even a blind man could see that Yan Bojun was aiming straight for the post of Inspector of Bozhou.

Now that the realm was growing chaotic and people's hearts needed steadying, better to keep the familiar than try someone new. The Sima of Bozhou being promoted to Inspector of Bozhou was clearly a matter of course.

All it took was a single word from Fang Chongyong.

A few more days passed. Four Inspectors and one Sima had arrived at the relay station outside Kaifeng's walls and sent Fang Chongyong their "name cards" — something akin to an official's calling card.

In the Tang dynasty, when officials traveled elsewhere on assignment or met an unfamiliar superior, they would always send a "name card" in advance, stating their identity and expressing courtesy. They could also briefly outline the purpose of their visit on it.

If an official showed up at the door without any prior notice, they were plainly an "uninvited guest." Such people would be regarded as either agents of a political enemy or a clueless lout ignorant of officialdom's rules, and would consequently be looked down upon and given the runaround.

The fact that these Inspectors and the Sima were willing to send name cards showed they had already lowered their posture to the very minimum. At this point, Fang Chongyong ought to set a time, have all the Inspectors come to the yamen for a meeting to exchange grand but empty words, and then host a banquet that evening, where the real substance would be discussed.

Then the play could go on.

If Fang Chongyong did not reply, these Inspectors would assume he bore them hostility and would likely leave Bianzhou at once.

"Jiedushi, these cheap bones really won't behave unless they're scared. He Laogu gave the tiger a beating, and the tiger didn't behave — but these Inspectors did. Heh heh!"

Che Guangqian said with a sneer of mockery on his face.

"Eh, it's only human nature — don't be too hard on them. After all, we dare to fight tigers, but we can't expect everyone to be able to fight tigers."

Fang Chongyong laughed heartily.

In truth, Che Guangqian was not wrong at all. These cheap bones, these old political smooth-talkers — don't go thinking they're innocent little lambs!

When they turned coats, they were slipperier than eels and more ruthless than vipers!

Historically, Yan Zhenqing had suffered great losses at the hands of just such people!

"Send someone to tell them: come to the prefectural yamen tomorrow to discuss important matters, and in the evening there will be music, dancing, and a banquet to receive them."

Fang Chongyong instructed Che Guangqian.

(End of this chapter)