Chapter 162: Big Brother, I

But it definitely isn't the old hooligan neighbor, because Bai Lang remembers that before the inexplicable transmigration the old hooligan died of a heart attack, and it was said that because his six relatives were cut off he wasn't discovered until he stank, so this certainly isn't the old hooligan's transmigration. And indeed the situation is just so: Bai Lang watches the baboon‑headed monster with a strong upright body let out a roaring, long laugh; this unrestrained, carefree tone is something the old hooligan could never have.

The baboon grabbed the stick's head and pulled it straight down, "You get down here! Don't say you can't fight without a stick!"

The stick suddenly vanished, its length unknown, thicker than a huabiao, and disappeared, while another monkey appeared on the ground holding a stick. "Also appeared instantly…." Bai Lang dared not stare, lowered his gaze and used the corner of his eye for reassurance. The monkey was wearing a monk's robe, holding a mourning stick, and was quite handsome—though a monkey being handsome is baffling…

The monkey is only a little over four chi tall, more than two heads shorter than Bai Lang. "This monkey is about 1.3–1.4 meters, right?" Bai Lang mutters quietly, "He really is the Handsome Monkey King Sun Da Sheng, short and stubby but beautiful…" If not for the current situation, Bai Lang would even laugh. Yet Sun Wukong, the Fighting Victory Buddha, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven faces a baboon monster standing three zhang tall, exuding a truly unruly demonic aura.

"You demon, you itching for trouble?! This time the Buddha wants to suppress you, and I absolutely disagree! Killing you, a demon like you, is the real thing!" While speaking, the Sun monkey swung the stick and struck, and the stick spontaneously grew larger during the swing, especially the striking end thickened dramatically. "Suppress? How the hell do you think the Lord would let that screw head suppress again? And kill me? Hahaha, let the Tathagata try it himself!"

The demon again punched the thick stick away, then without a word pushed with his palm, and a light cannon roared out from the palm. "Baboon‑colored ripple dash! Shockwave!" While roaring, the baboon opened its huge mouth, spitting a stronger light cannon that shot straight toward the distant Buddhist temple.

The mountains trembled, the Buddhist temple turned into a massive mushroom cloud, and the Handsome Monkey King wielding the stick was blasted away by a series of light cannons together with the iron fist behind him. The baboon's punch hit the ground, sending other Bright Kings and Vajra Bodhisattvas flying by the combat Qi erupting from the earth. Bai Lang saw countless Buddha realms fragmenting, the earth disintegrating, yet why nothing happened here for him.

From a perspective Bai Lang cannot see, his body was enveloped in a faint white light, which even protected the land within a radius of about one zhang around him. "Sun! Hurry up and dry something! My energy is insufficient!" a voice boomed in Bai Lang's ear, "Didn't you say you'd dissipate, you bastard!" Bai Lang wanted to curse, and indeed it was Yu Yu speaking. "Cut the nonsense! I'm about to truly dissipate! It's all because of you! Do something! Like get close to that baboon! Otherwise I'll really go to hell ahhhhh!"

Actually Bai Lang didn't need to get close, because now the sky is filled with golden Buddha Palms, stabilizing the space, forcibly fixing the crumbling earth. "Tathagata Divine Palm?" Bai Lang lay in the pit, watching thousands of palms crowded in the sky, each palm center bearing the character "wan".

"Yo! Isn't that the Tathagata Buddha?" a bizarre tone came from the golden‑haired baboon—ah no, now the black‑haired baboon—mouth, and he even gave a salute, sounding like a full‑blown gang boss, probably from Dong Xing. "What, after wrecking your stage you finally can't hold back? Damn, you've kept me locked for years, and still… Never mind! Today the Lord will finish you off!"

The baboon roared wildly, combat Qi erupted again, its black hair turning gold, spawning countless phantoms that attacked the Buddha Palms falling from the sky. "A thousand strikes in an instant! Baboon‑colored ripple dash, thousand‑hand bad fist!" As if the golden‑haired baboon instantly sprouted thousands of arms, each punch meeting a palm. The combat Qi formed a storm sweeping heaven and earth, and atop the Buddha Palms appeared a golden Tathagata Buddha, still seated on a lotus platform, extending a single palm to press down.

"Pull me down, throw me toward that baboon! Damn, you're useless, so I have to set up the line myself!" Yu Yu's voice sounded again; Bai Lang let out a sound, pulled Yu Yu down, held him in his palm, "Die, you broken junk!" He prayed silently, thinking at this point it didn't matter. Bai Lang raised his arm, using his last strength to fling him out, and the rest of the badly fractured Bai Lang could only gasp heavily to recover.

Logically, Yu Yu shouldn't be able to reach the baboon no matter what, but this thing turned into a beam of light that flew onto the baboon—extremely thin light. Then a dead‑fish‑eyed Yu Yu fell onto Bai Lang's head, empty inside. The baboon let out an "ah oh" and immediately burst into a wild laugh, "No matter who you are, the Lord accepts your favor!"

The baboon was enveloped in golden burning light, "Let everything return to nothing!" This thousand‑hand bad fist had already shattered the Buddha Palms in the sky, and now the baboon pressed both palms together on the left side of his waist and thrust outward! At this moment the Great Sage, who had been knocked away, also arrived, a stick piercing the heavens and earth slammed down, vowing to kill the demon. Yet an unprecedented shockwave light cannon arrived, endless light and endless destruction.

The Spirit Mountain was destroyed.

Almost everything on the mountain tops was swept flat, except a three‑zhang‑tall black‑haired baboon standing on the ground, though another guy was still lying in the pit. The baboon shook its head, "Let them run… it turns out to be a divine power that splits the two realms. But, hum hum hum, hahaha. The Lord will first emit a foul breath! Continuing the pursuit will definitely smash the Buddha's dog head!" The three‑zhang baboon instantly shrank, turning into a man in Daoist robes, hemp shoes, with a sky‑piercing braid.

Bai Lang strained to turn his head, seeing a man with a ferocious face like a lion‑tiger, "Isn't that Hao Gui?" he muttered, forcing his chest out so that Yu Yu was exposed to the demon's eyes. "So you, kid, helped the Lord by chance. Here's a reward! But kid, you're damn weak, so… wait, what is this?" Bai Lang realized a ghostly head on his chest was floating out of control.

"So that's it. There's a way to court death… hum hum, hum hum hum." The demon picked up Yu Yu, "I always feel the aura on this is somewhat familiar, but you kid have good luck. Never mind, you'll figure it out later. Look, the Lord has a pile of divine techniques; I'll give you this. Don't be greedy; greed makes it hard to chew. I think these two manuals are enough for your cultivation. When you achieve something, come find the Lord again."

Having said that, the demon took out two books and placed them on Bai Lang, "You won't die, don't worry. Also don't worry about not learning them, otherwise you should consider changing professions." With that, the demon whooshed away. Leaving Bai Lang lying in the pit…