Chapter 146: Xiao Ai's Soliloquy (I)

【When I was six, the last raccoon-cat we kept at home finally died of old age.

I felt so sad, so sad.

Mother stroked my head and coaxed me, saying:

"It's okay, Xiao Ai."

"They didn't die; they turned into stars in the sky watching over you."

But Father beside him smiled and said:

"No...... there aren't really any stars; they're actually just dead."

"The raccoon-cats will die, and Mother and Father will also die someday."

"You don't need to be sad for any of us, because......"

I don't know why.

I only remember that day, when my world fell apart.

I cried so sadly, so sadly.

For the raccoon-cats' departure, and for the possible future departure of Mother and Father.

Mother beat Father up, and Father could only come to coax me again.

He said:

"Don't cry, Xiao Ai."

"One day you will know that, besides your wife, no matter how much others love you, no one can stay with you to the end."

Father is naughty.

Father has always been naughty.

According to Mother's saying, he looks like a soft and cute glutinous rice ball on the outside, but inside he's filled with a thousand-year-old green tea filling.

But Father's words......

Afterwards, they were proven to always be correct.

Even though Mother beat him enough to make him resentful, Father never changed his line.

Until the end, he only said:

"...... Besides the wife, no one can stay with you to the end."

Parents will die of old age.

Even if descendants are obedient, they will still have their own lives.

As for others, they are actually far from being lifelong companions.

The guards are loyal to me, obeying only my commands, yet they cannot correct me when I make mistakes, admonish me, comfort me...... and, share weal and woe with me.

Only the first wife is completely different.

She can do everything, and she can say to me the words that Mother, Father, descendants, and guards cannot utter to me.

Mother also rarely echoed Father, saying:

"Right! Xiao Ai, remember——

"Your future beloved will surely be a peerless hero; one day he will step on auspicious clouds, wear rosy robes, ride a fine horse to come fetch you."

"She is the one who will stay with you for a lifetime; as for others, other matters...... they will all pass."

That day, Mother and Father said many things to me.

But at that time, I didn't quite understand them.

Everyone praises my intelligence, but I always feel I'm a bit stupid and a bit lazy.

And when I was sent to the Grand Ancestor's side, grew a little older, and could vaguely understand those words......

Yet I also dared not believe that only a wife could stay with me to the end.

Because, I met Chinu.

Because, I met Chinu.

Chinu, from childhood onward, has been quite different from others.

If I had to put it into words, I feel he is actually like......

Actually like the mysterious black raccoon-cat that was born in the same litter as me in my past life.

Yes.

I kept it hidden from Mother and Father, from the Grand Ancestor, and from everyone.

Actually, I can vaguely remember my past life.

Although that time is too distant, I occasionally have trouble recalling the small details.

But whenever I bask in the sun and can't help wanting to roll over, I can always smoothly recall the events of my past life.

Back then, I was still a raccoon-cat king in Lofty Peace City, daily leading a group of raccoon-cats to patrol the city's territory; if I encountered a vicious dog, I had to protect all the people here!

Mother adopted me, and also adopted all my little brothers; even occasionally when going to war, she would bring me along.

In that warm, scorching memory, besides the mother who had not yet become my mother, there was also a younger brother.

Yes.

In my past life, before I became the raccoon-cat king, I actually had a younger brother.

I was a raccoon-cat with a black back and white belly, while my younger brother was a raccoon-cat entirely mysterious black.

He was born in the same litter as me, both equally thin, both having hardly drunk any milk, and was driven out of the cat group for being too thin.

Yes.

At first, I was not mighty and imposing either.

When I was young, I was thin, pitiful, helpless, but could eat a lot.

The young little brother was quite special; it never meowed randomly, nor did it hiss at other people and wildcats.

It merely liked to hide in the darkness, merging with the shadows.

It merely liked to strike swiftly and powerfully when prey passed by, killing with a single blow.

It was a natural-born hunter, naturally a bit more capable than me.

Because of its ability, even when we later wandered, we actually didn't suffer too much hardship.

Little brother always helped me, always shared his catch with me, always told me which road was safe, that the people there would drive away the wildcats, warning me not to approach.

Little brother is good.

Little brother is a very, very good wildcat.

But precisely because of that, it always made me feel a bit uneasy.

One day, I simply couldn't hold back and asked little brother:

"Little brother, am I, the older brother, really useless?"

After all, whether it's other people or other wildcats, the older always looks after the younger.

But I, the older, am being looked after by the younger!

That day little brother caught two mice, one big and one small, staring intently at the mouse on the ground; hearing my question, it picked up the slightly larger mouse in its mouth and flung it at my feet before saying to me:

"No."

Little brother is always like that, cold and aloof, seeming to dislike me.

I also didn't know what its 'no' meant—whether it meant 'not useful' or 'not useless'...

Anyway, I didn't dare to ask.

I also feared that if I asked too clearly, little brother would get angry and abandon me completely.

I could endure the feeling of hunger, but I couldn't stop thinking about what it would feel like to lose little brother.

So I still didn't ask.

That day I ate very slowly, and after finishing I felt a bit regretful.

I couldn't pinpoint the source of that regret, but after thinking it over, I felt I should really train my hunting skills to repay little brother's care for me.

However, however.

I had never imagined that I would never have this opportunity.

It was just the time to eat a mouse, just a moment's separation...

Little brother just died.

I had merely gone to bury some smelly stuff, and when I returned, little brother was already lying in a pool of blood.

Around him were many big dogs drooling, tearing at him and cursing it.

They said, "Little brother went hunting on their territory; he deserved to die."

They said, "Little brother looks mighty, but for some reason he has no meat on him."

They...

They don't know, but I do.

Because little brother is even more foolish than me, because it's even smaller, although it's quite smart, heaven and earth didn't give it enough time to become truly strong.

It occasionally had to share the food it hunted with me, the older brother, so it often went hungry...

Pain.

Very painful.

Many years later, even though I had brought the newly adopted wildcat little brothers to face those evil dogs one by one, avenging little brother...

But whenever I recall that day, I am also always painful.

Thus, when I was a wildcat, I always tried to bury that memory.

But I never expected that, later, when I became human, the memory would actually come knocking at my door.

That ordinary afternoon, Taizong brought a group of slaves and found me.

Taizong told me, "They will henceforth die for me."

But I, in that group of slaves, at a glance saw the aura and the same cold aloofness as my previous life's little brother, a Chinu.

That day, I took his hand and said I wanted to take him out to play.

That day, the words I never spoke in my heart were actually——

"Little brother, you have finally returned after all this time."】

?? Not finished yet, not finished yet! There's more to come! Frantically typing! (*^▽^*)