Chapter 147: Little Love's Soliloquy (II)

【I am happy.

That day, I was actually very, very happy.

But later, I only realized——

The good thing about my younger brother is that his temperament hasn't changed much from my previous life.

But the bad thing about my younger brother is that his temperament hasn't changed much from my previous life.

My younger brother......

My younger brother still doesn't like me much.

That's right.

I'm just not overly smart, but I'm not overly stupid either.

So, of course I can feel it.

Especially, especially I couldn't uphold the realm like Taizong did.

This seems to have left him utterly disappointed in me.

I also tried to strive for strength, like dealing with those vicious dogs from my previous life, to overcome all the difficulties before me.

But just like my younger brother in my previous life, he couldn't resist that pack of vicious dogs.

When facing something many times, tens of times, hundreds of times stronger than oneself, any effort appears utterly trivial and laughable.

As a result, for a long time afterward, no matter what I encountered, I felt incapable.

This is a terrifying feeling——

All the answers tell me that all effort is meaningless.

Things I had hoped for since childhood, even if I strove for them, would still have accidents; things I sincerely wanted to do well would also produce bizarre mistakes.

But if one is not thorough, does not repeatedly check, and cannot ensure absolute safety, one will always end up with worse results.

In other words, without effort there is no result; with effort one might even regress.

Thus......

Thus, during that period, I constantly pondered the words Taizong had said——

Taizong said, "In this world, no one with great ambition is trapped by it."

Taizong said, "In this world, only those who never desire it are trapped by it."

I didn't understand then, but now I do—yet it's too late.

No one has ever told me these things; I simply have no one to tell me these.

Taizong is dead, my mother and father have disappeared, and the path to converse with Chinu has long been blocked by him.

Even in the end, Chinu is leaving.

The civil and military officials of the whole court and those slaves in the palace actually support my decision, resolved to share life and death with me......

But what life and death entail, no one can explain clearly.

Perhaps, Father is right.

Some words, some matters, one must find a wife to speak them, to place me on equal footing and face them hand in hand.

However, when the capital was about to fall, I myself could not guarantee morning to evening, let alone involve another person.

Painful.

The human world is always painful.

Had I known how painful being human is, back then I would not have reincarnated into my mother's womb out of longing for her, no matter what was said.

But later, after the capital fell, I became separated from the officials......

Actually, I am far happier inside than others imagine.

The days of wandering are naturally bitter.

But when the refugees only suffer physically, they no longer suffer mentally, unable to sleep through bitter nights.

I have always been able to endure hunger.

I've said before, I have always, always been able to endure hunger.

Those days were not easy.

My eyes cannot see; all the way I could only bring Tannu and follow others southward, going hungry seven times every three days.

Yet those days were not as bad as others imagine.

I even had the leisure to give the foolish, dull Tannu a new name, calling him A Chou.

We wandered in disarray all the way, passing through many mountains and rivers......

Until we met a kind-hearted down-and-out scholar, who said his name was Liu Wenyuan.

To be honest, I've never heard that name before, but for some reason I always feel a sense of familiarity.

Even, upon first meeting him, my heart told me——

He is absolutely a trustworthy good person.

He often crouches around me in the dead of night, helping me stand guard so as not to suffer harassment from those refugee thieves.

He is not weak as he claims; he often helps me beat back those who try to harm the refugees.

He also often goes to pick mushrooms, boil them, and treats us to mushroom soup.

He is truly smart and also formidable.

Before him, unless one was truly starving to death, very few people were willing to touch those mushrooms that are hard to gather and easy to poison.

Before him, in fact, others had always regarded me as a refugee beggar, driving me away on sight......

I like him.

It sounds mysterious, but although I wear an eye cover and cannot see his appearance.

Although he usually isn't willing to pay attention to me.

But it doesn't affect my liking him at all.

Or rather, it gives rise to brotherly feelings.

Just like my younger brother in my past life, this life's Chinu is the same.

Even wanting to wholeheartedly entrust my back to them.

After eating, I occasionally wonder why I'd compare these few people together.

But later, I found out.

Because the three of them are actually the same person from start to finish!

Chinu is back.

Chinu is back.

I also finally found a place to settle down, and met a capable young lady who speaks and acts efficiently.

The young lady said she wants to take me as her husband.

Her voice is clear and pleasant, always carrying a smile.

I always remember that night, when we all gathered together.

I heard her openly admire the Grand Ancestor, heard her speak with conviction to speak up for the Young Emperor.

I heard her assign tasks, distribute labor, promise everyone food and new clothes, taking on all responsibilities.

She is so capable, she truly is, so capable.

I just knew——

In this world, there are always extremely capable people.

In this world, there are always people whose brilliance is boundless.

She even cured my eye ailment.

Countless times, I always dream of that day when I regained sight.

On that day, everything else was ordinary, only a stray lock of hair at her temple, soaked in golden light, was strikingly eye‑catching.

The sky‑filling rosy light also favored her, softening her outline like the warm glaze of fine porcelain.

From that day on, I thought I would surely become her live‑in husband.

Chinu happened to come back again.

From now on, I will have a Wife Master, and I will have Chinu.

The days to come……

It will never be better than each day spent with them.

And now, she has indeed come to marry me.

The wedding was hurried, yet still very grand.

On the day I moved into her home, firecrackers deafened the ears, red confetti carpeted the ground like brocade.

So much that the whole neighborhood was startled, onlookers filled the streets.

The Wife Master rode a tall horse, wearing scarlet robes and a golden cap, a short sword at her waist, her brows and eyes full of heroic vigor.

Sunlight gilded her, yet she was more blazing than the sun.

Everyone around marveled, yet she was oblivious, only gazing at me far away with her sparkling, star‑like eyes.

Good.

Very good.

Everything is better than I thought.

Perhaps it's because I've feared firecrackers since childhood.

Or perhaps it's because……

I always feel I'm not worthy of such a fine, so grand a Wife Master.

Thus, my palms are always sweating.

But it's okay, it's okay.

I still have Chinu.

Chinu weaved through the crowd, silently came to my side, lowered his head to smooth the fine crease at the corner of my robe, and straightened my waist sash.

Just a breath, just a breath, and my heart steadied.

I turned to thank him, but upon turning, I rarely got to see his eye color clearly.

His temperament is usually rather cold, but today he seems somewhat different.

In those eyes that are usually boundlessly calm and black……

It seems, mixed with a hint of loneliness that cannot be hidden.

I thought, and before the Wife Master fully arrived before me, I patted his shoulder and said:

"Don't be sad, A Nu."

"Although I am marrying the Wife Master first, the three of us are destined to be entangled for life after life."

After thinking back and forth, I still chose to marry from Xiao Ai's perspective.

In his eyes, everything will be utterly flawless, perfect.

Vote vote, dear ones, from today till month‑end double monthly tickets, wuwuwu…… grades too poor, I'm really going to wither.