Chapter 18: Choosing Sides

Amid Gu Xiaowu's endless chatter, the two paced back and forth atop the city wall, finally muddling through until daybreak. Though they had worked the night shift, there was no such thing as compensatory leave. Because Pang Yu had stood night duty at Dongzuo Gate and his home was by the West Gate, he had no time even to go home, nor had he managed to rendezvous with his female secretary. Just like that, dusty and disheveled, he went straight to the yamen for work.

Outside the Eight-Character Wall he ran into He Xianya, who also looked utterly drained, his spirit seemingly knocked out of him by that slap the day before.

He Xianya saw the swollen red welts, large and small, all over his face, pulled him aside, and asked what had happened. Once Pang Yu recounted the events of the previous night, He Xianya, his own eyes red and swollen, lowered his voice and gave him a word of advice: "Since you've offended Wang Dazhuang's brother-in-law, you'd best be very careful these next couple of days. Don't let anything land in Wang Dazhuang's hands. Once a few days pass and Wang Dazhuang's anger cools, find someone to mediate. When it's time to bow your head, you must bow your head. In the end, making peace with the squad leader is best."

Pang Yu lifted his chin, utterly unconcerned. "Just a few mosquito bites, that's all. If this is the best Wang Dazhuang can do, then that sort of trash isn't worth bowing to. So now I have a small objective."

He Xianya stared at Pang Yu in astonishment. "Second Brother, what objective have you got now?"

"I want to be a squad leader too. Then we'll see what Wang Dazhuang can do to me."

Watching Pang Yu's departing back, He Xianya shook his head. In his heart, he was certain that his fool of a second brother was in for a world of tight shoes this time.

Today's Morning Session was relatively simple — no Public Hearing and no Tax Grain Comparison. After yesterday's authority-crushing beating, the County Vice-Magistrate immediately followed up by handing out carrots. Knowing his own tenure in this post would last ten days at most, he held only the Morning Session and then proceeded to assign tasks to each office. Every office got its share of benefits and heaped wave after wave of flattery upon the Vice-Magistrate.

Pang Yu felt a measure of admiration for the Vice-Magistrate's methods, but none of the Vice-Magistrate's bonus dividends fell to Pang Yu. In the yamen, he had always cut the figure of a clueless fool. Apart from his childhood friend Jiao Guozha, few people cared to bother with him. The Vice-Magistrate did not even know his name, for the county yamen was, in truth, a very large establishment, and the Three Squads Bailiffs were by no means few in number.

Tongcheng County governed a total of forty-seven li — neither a large nor a small jurisdiction. The most numerous people in the yamen were the Three Squads Bailiffs, divided respectively into the Runner Squad, the Fast Squad, and the Zhuang Squad. The Fast Squad was further split into Mounted Runners and Foot Runners. Originally tasked with delivering messages and orders, they later took on city patrol and arrest duties, much like modern-day police.

The Zhuang Squad was responsible for maintaining public order within the county and were often called Corvee Soldiers. Tongcheng had been at peace for many years. The Zhuang Squad had an authorized strength of one hundred ninety-two men, but no more than twenty or thirty were actually on the rolls.

The Runner Squad, to which Pang Yu belonged, handled yamen enforcement — that is, they were support staff. Their duties mainly involved internal yamen logistics. The County Magistrate, the County Vice-Magistrate, and the Chief Officer each had several Runners attending them. Within the Six Offices, apart from the clerks and Clerical Scribes, a number of Runners were also assigned to do odd jobs.

In actual practice, the duties of the Three Squads were often hopelessly blurred. Right up to the late Qing, each locality made its own assignments. Some divided duties by function, others by district. Most officials could not be bothered with such fine details — whoever they thought suitable, they assigned to do whatever.

Because Pang Yu had previously been a bit simple, none of the offices wanted him working for them. He had always remained in the Runner Squad, awaiting assignments from the squad leader, doing miscellaneous tasks. The Runner Squad had a dozen or so idle hands like him. These men hovered around the squad leader every day, angling for decent assignments — and of course, whatever they earned, they had to kick back a share to Wang Dazhuang.

Although the official wages and grain stipends in the yamen were modest, the gray income was considerable. Especially after the Single Whip Law reforms, even Xiucai and Government Student degree-holders with no hope in the imperial examinations had thrown themselves into yamen service just to support their families — a clear sign that the income of clerks and bailiffs was fairly substantial.

The tragic part was that Pang Yu had now offended Wang Dazhuang's brother-in-law. Decent assignments were out of the question, and Wang Dazhuang had prepared a rich assortment of tight shoes for him. Although he now had a small objective, he still had to navigate the present carefully. Last night's Night Watch was only the appetizer. Who knew what exotic fare awaited him today.

After the Morning Session adjourned, Pang Yu stood rooted in place, staring blankly at the ground. Gu Xiaowu, thinking Pang Yu was afraid to return to the Runner Squad, waited with him. Only when nearly everyone had dispersed did Pang Yu snap out of his daze and walk out toward the Ceremonial Gate with Gu Xiaowu, his comrade in misfortune.

At that moment, outside the Yamen Runner Room on the west side of the Ceremonial Gate, most of the Runner Squad personnel had already assembled, all waiting for Wang Dazhuang to assign the day's tasks. Wang Dazhuang, true to his name, was tall and burly, with a full circle of whiskers around his chin. His brother-in-law Zhang Daiwen was also waiting at his side, eager to watch the stirring spectacle of Pang Yu being fitted for tight shoes.

The lead Runner from the previous night, Wang Chaofeng, had just finished reporting the night's events to Wang Dazhuang. When he described how those two had spent the entire night being bitten by mosquitoes and bugs, Wang Dazhuang burst into roaring laughter.

A scrawny Runner beside him fawned over Wang Dazhuang: "That fool Pang daring to offend the brother-in-law — he's showing no regard for our squad leader."

Several other Runners crowded around as well. "Squad leader, rest assured, no need for you to lift a finger. Us brothers will make him look good."

Wang Dazhuang waved a hand. Once the group fell silent, he said, "Why even lift a finger? As it happens, the Military Office needs to inspect the Patrol Relay Stations and is short on manpower. I'll have that fool Pang Er patrol every single relay station in the entire county. When he's done, he can patrol the Ferry Crossings. When he gets back, he can stand Night Watch at the city gates for me every night — no, he can do the Night Watch Beating and Street Patrol! Ha ha ha!"

The brother-in-law Zhang Daiwen listened with eyebrows dancing in delight. Here in the yamen, no one had a deeper blood feud with the fool Pang than he did. The story of Pang Yu's sword strike that day had already spread in a small circle within the yamen, making him feel he had lost considerable face. Today, he was determined to get it all back with interest.

"Brother-in-law, your wisdom shines."

"The squad leader's insight is profound — work that fool Pang to death."

"A fool who dares bring a Female Aide — once we drive him out, we'll take over that Female Aide. In the end, the squad leader should be the one to break her in."

The group was just getting into the swing of their merriment when they saw the fool Pang Er and Gu Xiaowu emerge from the Ceremonial Gate. Wang Dazhuang nodded to the others, and all exchanged malicious, knowing smirks.

Once the Runner Squad had assembled in formation, Wang Dazhuang stepped forward to open the morning meeting. He swept his gaze across the squad's ranks, glaring fiercely when his eyes passed over Pang Yu.

Wang Dazhuang cleared his throat and said, "Before I announce today's assignments, a few words about yesterday's business. You all saw it. It's just that yesterday's Morning Session adjourned late, and things were chaotic, so I had no leisure to explain to everyone. I'll take this moment now to say a few words. Yesterday, quite a few people got the plank, including some from our Runner Squad. Some people are muttering behind their backs, asking whether the County Vice-Magistrate was using public office to settle private grudges. Bah! I'm telling you now — you mustn't even entertain such a thought. The County Vice-Magistrate rose through the imperial examinations; how could he possibly do such a thing? If I ever hear anyone wagging their tongue behind my back with such talk, I'll kick them to death with one foot."

Wang Dazhuang was staking out his own position. The assembled Runners were just about to chime in agreement when, suddenly, a figure leaped from the ranks with lightning speed, shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Who is so utterly heartless? What do you mean, using public office to settle private grudges? Even entertaining such a thought is a sin. The County Vice-Magistrate handled everything impartially. Tell me — which plank stroke was not delivered with sound reason and solid evidence? Was a single one struck in error? Can anyone name one? In my heart, I am thoroughly convinced. Never mind yesterday — in ordinary times, when has the County Vice-Magistrate ever not put hardship first and pleasure last? He has worn his heart out worrying for the people of Tongcheng. In his post, he has been utterly diligent, bearing every burden without complaint. Often he handles official business in the yamen until the middle of the night, sometimes even going sleepless till dawn. How much salary does a County Vice-Magistrate even draw? A paltry six dan and six Bean of grain. Is it worth all this devotion? Those who gossip behind his back — have you even a shred of conscience left? Are you even human... sob..."

Pang Yu wept as he lowered his head, using his sleeve to cover his face. He spat a mouthful of saliva into his palm and, in one smooth motion, smeared it across his face. When his sleeve came down, his face was already glistening wet. Paired with Pang Yu's exaggerated sobs, it was a performance rich in both voice and emotion. The only flaw was a few small bubbles in the saliva that hadn't been wiped smooth in time. Clinging to his face, they looked less like tears and more like snot — though at this moment, who would dare step forward and accuse him of fake crying?

Wang Dazhuang and the cluster of Runners around him were utterly stupefied. This fool Pang Er, who on an ordinary day could barely string a coherent sentence together, had today launched into a lengthy, eloquent, and impeccably reasoned torrent of bootlicking aimed at a superior.

The Yamen Runner Room was located just to the left of the Corridor outside the Ceremonial Gate, directly opposite the Runner Room, with the Yamen Gate ahead to the right. The Corridor was the main thoroughfare in and out of the yamen, constantly bustling with people. Pang Yu's loud outburst immediately drew a crowd of onlookers from other departments. Even people from near the Eight-Character Wall came in to watch the excitement.

Seeing the audience swell and the momentum-building effect proving excellent, Pang Yu, stirred with emotion, swept his arm out. "These past three years, Tongcheng has enjoyed favorable weather and national peace and prosperity, repeatedly winning commendations from Anqing Prefecture and Nanzhili — none of it separable from the County Vice-Magistrate's devotion. But what of the County Vice-Magistrate himself? He eats coarse grain, wears homespun cloth, his stockings patched and repatched yet still too precious to throw away. Austerity! Is it that the gentleman does not know how to scoop up silver? No! It is that the gentleman has steeped himself in the sages' books and made incorruptibility his principle of office. The people of Tongcheng are blessed. The gentleman's parents are still in his hometown; he cannot fulfill his filial duty at their knees, yet he left his home and came to Tongcheng three years ago. A man from another place, with no selfish motive, he has taken the cause of Tongcheng's People's Livelihood as his own cause. What kind of spirit is this..."

Pang Yu poured forth in a sweeping, unbroken torrent, speaking for a full half-quarter-hour, molding the County Vice-Magistrate into a paragon of upright integrity and outstanding administrative achievement. At this delicate moment of choosing sides, not a single cadre or rank-and-file member of the Runner Squad dared step forward to interrupt him.

"Honored superiors, honored comrades — ordinarily, many call me Er Shazi, a man who can barely string two round sentences together. But why today can I speak so many words? Because every word I speak comes from my heart, every word is fair. Say a thousand things, say ten thousand things — whoever dares show disrespect to the County Vice-Magistrate, I, Pang Yu, will most assuredly be the first to..." Coupling his words with a chopping downward motion of his arm, Pang Yu roared with sonorous force, "... uck his grandmother!"

The onlookers burst into uproarious laughter. It seemed this Pang Yu hovered somewhere between foolishness and Spirit Awakening. Pang Yu cupped his hands and bowed repeatedly to the laughing crowd around him. He had suddenly thought, just then, to add that curse. This fool's identity seemed to still have its uses. As a modern man, Pang Yu still did not fully grasp many things about this era and often provoked surprise. With a fool's identity, everything became understandable.

"Well said!"

"Well and truly spoken — we should all learn from the fool Pang Er."

"Even Er Sha has awakened."

The yamen staff listening to the speech cheered in unison, each seizing the chance to declare their own allegiance. Meanwhile, the assembled Runners were still in a daze. Compared to Wang Dazhuang's declaration of loyalty, Pang Yu's torrent of flattery was the difference between mud and cloud.

Wang Dazhuang was also left staring, tongue-tied. He had fully intended today to give Pang Yu a proper fitting of tight shoes, to avenge his brother-in-law. But this masterful display of bootlicking, performed before a crowd of watching eyes, would surely reach the County Vice-Magistrate's ears. If he were to put Pang Yu in tight shoes now, the timing might be rather awkward. Would the County Vice-Magistrate think Wang Dazhuang did not endorse Pang Yu's views?

Wang Dazhuang blinked hard several times. Once he was certain he was not dreaming, he could only manage a dry cough. "These words of Pang Er Sha's — they do hold some truth. Everyone in our Runner Squad must grasp this understanding. As for those who took the plank yesterday, when they return, our squad will also have to mete out discipline. Those who should be struck from the rolls will be struck; those who should be fined will be fined. But that sort of 'fuck his grandmother' talk need not be repeated. In the yamen, we must still mind our verbal virtue."

With that, the ritual of declaring allegiance was more or less complete. The onlookers gradually dispersed, still chattering incessantly — all about that speech of the fool Pang's. It seemed to have created quite a sensation.

Wang Dazhuang suppressed the displeasure in his heart. But given the situation, he could only skip the originally planned segment of fitting Pang Yu with tight shoes. Turning to the others, he continued, "Now, let's discuss the Runner Squad's assignments for today. There are two He Mai errands, one Tax Grain Comparison case for the Household Office in South Pond Neighborhood, and one Military Office inspection of the North Gorge Pass relay station. Lü Huasheng, Zuo Gui, Yang Manchang — you three will assist the Medical Officer with the He Mai purchase of medicinal supplies. Here are the silver and the inventory list."

The three Runners beamed with joy and thanked him profusely, stepping forward to receive the small packet from Wang Dazhuang's hand. The other Runners watched the three with envy.

"Zhao Jucai, Zhang Zhou — you two will go to the Household Office to collect the License Ticket and handle the Tax Grain Comparison case in South Pond Neighborhood."

These two grinned even more broadly. Among all Runner assignments, Tax Grain Comparison was the most lucrative. All five of these men were part of the group that had clustered around Wang Dazhuang earlier — his trusted confidants. The License Ticket was issued by the Household Office. On the surface, it followed proper procedure, but in reality, it was because Wang Dazhuang had close ties with the Household Office that he could obtain more tickets than the Fast Squad or the Zhuang Squad. So the Runners still had to pay Wang Dazhuang for them.

Now only the Military Office relay station inspection and the other He Mai assignment remained. Pang Yu's speech had thrown his plans into disarray, and he could not help but hesitate. If he put Pang Yu in tight shoes now, with so many mouths chattering, it would be hard to guarantee word would not reach the County Vice-Magistrate. The Vice-Magistrate might think he was suppressing someone who supported him — a most unseemly outcome. Or, in the off chance the Vice-Magistrate summoned Pang Yu for a private audience, and Pang Yu spouted some nonsense there, he himself would be in trouble.

So at this moment, not only could he not suppress Pang Yu, he actually had to give Pang Yu something good, to show that he supported Pang Yu's speech. The thought filled him with immense resentment. But on second thought, the Vice-Magistrate's acting administration of county affairs was only temporary. He could perfectly well wait until the situation shifted, then slowly deal with Pang Yu. He refused to believe a petty Runner like Pang Yu could overturn the heavens.

"I'll spare you for a few days."

Having made up his mind, Wang Dazhuang swapped the personnel assignments and continued reading: "Gu Xiaowu will inspect the North Gorge Pass relay station. The He Mai purchase of paper and brushes for the Punishment Office and the Yin-Yang Office will be handled by Pang Yu..."

"This humble servant will most certainly take the County Vice-Magistrate as his model, spare no effort unto death, and carry out this assignment with utmost dedication. I shall not fail the trust placed in me by the squad leader."

Wang Dazhuang had originally intended to assign one more person. The moment he heard Pang Yu invoke the County Vice-Magistrate again, anger surged in his chest, but he did not know how to respond. Pang Yu, however, had already stepped forward on his own initiative, hand outstretched to receive the silver pouch and inventory list for the He Mai assignment.

"Let you gloat for now."

Under the furious and astonished gaze of his brother-in-law, Wang Dazhuang swallowed his bile and slapped the silver pouch into Pang Yu's hand.

"Thank you, squad leader!"