Chapter 18: 17. This Fastball Is Hard for Me to Catch

17. This fastball is hard for me to catch.

Hearing Li Ang’s question, Zoe’s body trembled slightly; she looked like she wanted to shake her head, but didn't know what else to do.

“I, I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it… but…”

She hugged her arms, her gaze somewhat vacant, trying to force a smile.

“Look, they promised to come back but didn’t. Sometimes I shout their names at the sky, and I feel so angry inside, so wanting to rush in front of them right away, to scold them, to ask them why they didn’t come back.

“But, I, I don’t even know how to leave this place.

“What it’s like outside, I understand even less.”

The young girl’s gaze drifted toward *The Sword King’s Adventure* on the bookshelf.

“When I was little, I thought everything in this book was true, but even the people in the village don’t like me. What about people outside? Will they hate me even more?”

“What to do when going outside, I don’t even know that.”

Zoe turned her head and looked at Li Ang quietly, not continuing to speak.

It was as if she were waiting for him to open his mouth and say something.

Come with me, you don’t need to worry about any of this—these words were hanging in Li Ang’s throat at that moment.

If he said it directly now, perhaps a series of logical events would follow—Zoe would leave the island with him, become a member of the team he was building, and board the ship with him.

And as the world’s heroine, whatever possibilities she carried, whatever benefits she could bring, would all fall into his hands; wouldn't it be up to him how to handle them?

Yes, that’s exactly how it looked.

But if he did that, he felt uncomfortable in his heart.

This had nothing to do with the issue of leading a newbie from scratch that he had been struggling with earlier.

Before this, he had never formally talked about this topic with Zoe.

Whether it was the benefits of a fantasy world protagonist or his reluctance to lead a team and play parent, it was all his own worrying, all his own subjective thinking.

Now that the topic had been opened, he discovered that she herself had never had a concrete concept of leaving the island for an adventure.

The home on the edge of the village, the fields and old books here, a fairy tale narrating a hero’s adventure, the daily morning exercises instructed by her father, the flowering meadow and the cabin in the woods, the longing for her parents in her heart, the imagination of other things under the blue sky… over ten years, these simple, monotonous things repeated constantly, forming the girl’s entire imagination of the world.

In Li Ang’s mind, in the setting documents of *Newbie Fantasy* that he had only read a small part of, there was no trigger for how she would leave the island.

Or rather, as a player, once the game started, one would only control her to “go somewhere and kill a few things.”

But the Zoe before him was a person with independent thought, yet half of her cognitive world was still in ignorance.

Now, whether it was deciding for her to go on an adventure or abandoning her to find ideal teammates, he couldn't bring himself to do either.

Perhaps it was because before he transmigrated, he had experienced that kind of childhood and youth where he was rushed along like a train before he had even thought about what kind of person he wanted to be or what he wanted to strive for, causing his life’s end to be visible at a glance.

So he didn’t want to impose his own will on the girl.

What’s more, he was currently trying to reorganize his team and regain control of his destiny; at such a moment, to easily make decisions for others was a bit arrogant.

“You don’t understand the outside world, but I can tell you about it.”

Li Ang gave the girl a smile.

He had to let her make up her own mind.

That way, no matter where she went, she could stand on the clouds on her own.

Adventuring in the airspace would yield glory and honor, but there was also darkness and terror.

He had seen too many adventurers who gave up because of the hardships of the journey, or people whose spirits were crushed by things beyond their understanding.

Being mentally prepared was good for everything.

Regarding leaving the island, Zoe might not have a clear idea, hence her stuttering and inability to speak.

“Let’s continue talking about your parents first.”

Li Ang held that High-Rank Knight Medal.

“This medal is useful for travel; ordinary people wouldn’t leave it behind. If they forgot it here, it’s very likely they took a higher-ranking Grand Knight Medal with them.”

“There aren’t many people who have been Grand Knights, and even if they fall out of the rankings, there will be clear records. Perhaps we can find them soon.”

“Oh.”

Zoe pursed her lips, her answer very brief.

Li Ang had thought she would be very expectant and excited.

He suddenly realized that, actually, from just a moment ago, when talking about finding her parents, although she was cooperating, she really hadn’t shown much interest—not even as much as she cared about what free food that medal could buy.

Was eight years still too long?

“I promised them I’d wait obediently.”

Zoe stood with her hands behind her back, looking down at her toes tapping and rotating on the floor.

“The outside world is very big, right? I’ve read books and heard them and you say so. Traveling must take a lot of time, so it’s not strange to be delayed…

“Besides, I have to put in a lot of effort just to find seashells in the creek on the mountain. Even if I go looking for them, I might not be able to find them.

“And if I do find them, I don’t know how to…”

“If they were fine, why wouldn’t they come back?”

The girl twisted a strand of slightly curly hair by her temple, winding it around her fingertip, the more she wound it, the messier it got.

Indeed, Li Ang was not the person involved, so from just now, he had ignored the young girl’s perspective.

Over such a long time, she must have had all sorts of wild thoughts on her own.

In her eyes, if she could wait for her parents to return, no matter how long it took, it proved they were just delayed.

But if she found them, perhaps she would discover that they weren’t unable to return, but didn’t want to.

How would the girl view herself then? An abandoned child?

Li Ang felt that the probability of accidents happening while adventuring outside was not low, so they might not have intentionally abandoned her.

But considering they had originally planned to return in six years, and being separated from a child for six years was long enough for parents, he wasn’t sure about their situation either.

He scratched his head, thinking about what to say to distract the girl.

“Today, I was actually very happy.”

It was Zoe who spoke first.

The curly hair by her temple seemed to have been smoothed out by her; she curled her fingertips, her eyelashes drooping slightly.

“Li Ang is the first person other than Mom and Dad to talk to me properly, and you taught me many things I didn’t know.

“Just now, you were working in front of that furnace, and I watched for a long time. I remembered that Dad used to sit there and work too, using a hammer to knock out sparks of various colors. I didn’t understand any of it, but I could watch for a whole day. My heart always felt warm back then.

“Today, I had that feeling again.”

Zoe’s slender, knuckled palm rested gently on her heart.

“But I’m not your dad.”

Although Li Ang felt a bit like he was parenting, he didn’t want to cement that identity.

“You’re not.”

The girl’s response was almost faster than Li Ang’s thoughts.

“You’re definitely not. You’re different from them, not the same at all.”

She glanced quickly at Li Ang’s face, lowered her head, clasped her hands together, and tapped her toes on the ground, her ankles rotating a bit faster.

“They didn’t keep their promise, I hate them.

“But, I like you.”

Li Ang admitted that his breathing stopped for an instant.

But it was truly only an instant, because he understood that the girl wasn’t expressing that kind of meaning, but rather a longing for a friend.

Yet, for a beautiful girl to say that word, the lethality was still too astonishing.

After speaking, Zoe just reached out and gently tugged at his sleeve, silently looking at him, her eyes trembling slightly, filled with expectation, waiting for the answers to all the questions Li Ang had just bypassed.

After Li Ang calmed down a bit, he still hadn’t sorted out how to respond or how to express himself.

The innocent girl on the isolated island—her thoughts contained not a shred of impurity, but precisely because of this innocence, this swift fastball was truly hard for him to catch.

In the silence, he watched the girl’s pupils become painful bit by bit.

Just as his heart tightened along with it, he saw her whole body tremble, and she slowly slid to the ground, leaning against the bookshelf.

She wasn’t in pain because of the conversation; it was for another reason! What was happening to her?

Roar—

A roar echoed in Li Ang’s ears, carrying heavy reverberations, as if it had come from the abyss.