Chapter 283: The Addictive Commercial Jingle

"Father..."

Akimichi Torifu watched his father, usually a man of gentle temperament, with a tremble. At this moment, the rotund man was radiating a predatory aura that made those around him subconsciously step back half a pace.

Right before him lay a gaunt man, wrapped from head to toe in bandages stained with spots of blood. Most shocking of all was that the man's hands had been severed at the wrists, with dark red blood continuously seeping through the bandages from the wounds.

"Shinobu! Wake up, it's your second brother!"

The rotund man, none other than the current head of the Akimichi clan, Akimichi Shinji, looked at the clansman he hadn't seen in years. His eyes were slightly red as he spoke in a trembling voice.

Although he and Akimichi Shinobu were not particularly close, having a clansman dragged out in such a wretched state in front of everyone left the Akimichi clan head with nowhere to hide his shame.

"My apologies, Clan Head Shinji. Akimichi Shinobu suddenly lost control of his emotions this morning. After severely wounding members of our Senju clan, he acted like a madman. Fearing he might do something irreversible, we were forced to take restrictive measures."

Facing the furious Akimichi Shinji, Senju Tobirama lifted a finger and appeared behind him in a flash. He spoke slowly to explain. The eerie speed left the surrounding ninja clans secretly alarmed, subconsciously contemplating countermeasures.

"Our Akimichi clan requires an explanation."

Why was it that the captives of other ninja clans, while crippled, remained relatively intact, yet his own clansman was in such a miserable state, as if he might breathe his last at any moment? Unable to suppress the gloom in his heart, the hot-headed Akimichi Shinji bypassed Sarutobi Sasuke and gritted his teeth as he questioned Senju Tobirama.

"Shinji, don't be impulsive. Let's talk this over."

Worried that Akimichi Shinji might do something foolish, Sarutobi Sasuke immediately spoke to console him. Then, he turned to Senju Tobirama and said in a very stiff tone—if he didn't stand up for his allies in the Ninja Clan Alliance now, would anyone follow him in the future?

"Lord Tobirama, our Ninja Clan Alliance is a single entity. Clan Head Shinji's business is our business, so we hope you can provide an answer that satisfies everyone."

Hearing this, a faint light flickered in Senju Tobirama's eyes, and his scarlet pupils held a look of contemplation. He hadn't taken the mere Akimichi clan seriously, but now that these ninja clans were all twisted into a single rope, he was forced to take this matter seriously.

He immediately killed the thought he had just had of using simple material compensation to settle with the Akimichi clan. Judging by this momentum, this matter would certainly not be resolved by just giving away a few more houses.

"Is this Clan Head Shinji's son?"

Just as Senju Tobirama was pondering, Akimichi Torifu wiggled his little bottom and squeezed to the front of the crowd. He had come to see the dying Akimichi Shinobu and happened to be spotted by Tobirama, who then asked the question.

"He is indeed my son."

Suddenly asked this, Akimichi Shinji was a bit bewildered, but he still frowned and nodded in confirmation.

"I see this child is naturally intelligent and have developed a desire to cherish talent. I wish to take him as my apprentice. What does Clan Head Shinji think?"

Senju Tobirama looked at the ignorant-looking Akimichi Torifu, offered a few casual words of praise, and then stated his method of compensation.

Since simple material conditions could no longer satisfy the demands of the Akimichi clan, he had no choice but to sell himself.

"This..."

Akimichi Shinji, who had considered thousands of possibilities, was completely stunned. Shouldn't the other party be throwing heavy gold at his fat face or promising more benefits to the Akimichi clan? How did it end up looking like he was coveting Senju Tobirama's body?

"Shinji, it is feasible."

Just as Akimichi Shinji hesitated, Sarutobi Sasuke's voice reached his ears.

"Becoming Senju Tobirama's apprentice will only make your Akimichi clan's foundation in Konoha more secure."

This explanation stirred Akimichi Shinji's heart. Looking at the current situation in Konoha, the Senju clan was in its prime, and Senju Hashirama becoming the village leader was a foregone conclusion. If their Akimichi clan could cling tightly to this thigh, wouldn't they be ready to take off?

"Torifu! Why don't you come and pay your respects to your teacher!"

After weighing the pros and cons, Akimichi Shinji felt this matter had only benefits and no drawbacks. He immediately straightened his expression, patted his son's head, and pushed him forward.

"Huh?"

Akimichi Torifu, who had been watching the spectacle, was dazed as he was pushed in front of the stern-faced Senju Tobirama. Looking up at the white-haired man radiating an unfriendly aura, the little fatty's heart shivered, but he could not disobey his father's orders, so he bowed his head.

"Student Akimichi Torifu, greets Teacher~"

From this point on, the tense expressions on the faces of the Ninja Clan Alliance members melted away like spring snow. The tense atmosphere was swept away, and the scene became harmonious.

"Clap~ clap~ clap~"

Once Akimichi Torifu finished his apprenticeship, a round of loud applause came from outside the scene. Senju Hashirama, with a hearty smile on his face, walked out from behind the scenes, his eyes full of satisfaction. This was the harmony he wanted.

"Congratulations, Tobirama, on gaining another beloved apprentice."

"Big Brother, you finally arrived. Come and say a few words!"

Seeing Senju Hashirama appear right on cue, Senju Tobirama immediately stepped aside, yielding the stage to his older brother.

"Ahem. I'll say a few brief words."

Standing in the center, Senju Hashirama scanned the gathered ninja clans and villagers with a smiling gaze, then waved his hand to signal that he was a man of few words.

"Dear fellow villagers, fellow ninja clansmen, good afternoon to you all~ Today is a day worth remembering. On behalf of the Senju clan of Konoha, I would like to give everyone..."

"Is that Senju Hashirama? He looks like he isn't very bright."

In the crowd, a few brats huddled together, staring straight at the rambling Senju Hashirama and whispering.

"Hiruzen, didn't your father say that guy is very strong? Why can't I tell?"

Shimura Danzo, who was sticking out a pair of chubby buttocks behind him, asked his best friend with a look of disdain.

"Shh~ keep your voice down. Father said that guy's aura is super terrifying. Even looking him in the eye for a moment makes one's heart tremble."

Sarutobi Hiruzen, hunched over, had a look of wariness in his eyes. He had been repeatedly warned by his father never to offend that person.

"Danzo, your big butt is squishing me!"

Just as the two were whispering, a crisp female voice rang out behind Danzo. Turning around, they saw a sweet-looking little girl with black hair tied in buns. She had been squeezed into a corner by Danzo's impressively voluminous buttocks and, unable to bear it any longer, she scolded him angrily.

"Ah, Koharu, I'm sorry, I'll move right away."

Hearing the complaint from his childhood sweetheart, Utatane Koharu, Shimura Danzo felt guilty and immediately turned around. But he didn't expect his massive buttocks to uncontrollably bump into someone else beside him.

"Ah! Quick, help me, my glasses, my glasses~"

Mitokado Homura, who had been listening intently to Senju Hashirama's speech, was caught off guard and knocked down by Danzo's buttocks. Before he could even process the bouncy sensation, the glasses on his nose vanished, leaving him instantly blind. He could only scramble on the ground, searching for his glasses.

"It's all your fault, Danzo, with that big butt of yours! Hurry up and help Homura find his glasses!"

As a former victim, Utatane Koharu was furious. She wrinkled her pretty brows and pouted as she denounced Danzo, the culprit.

Seeing that their friend's glasses were missing, the few people present immediately bent down to search the ground, but there were simply too many onlookers standing around.

After a round of searching, Sarutobi Hiruzen, Utatane Koharu, and Shimura Danzo had found nothing. Just as they were at their wits' end, a warm voice rang in their ears.

"Excuse me, are you looking for these glasses?"

Hearing this voice, the four who had been searching in vain looked up in unison. They saw a black-haired boy with a gentle smile looking at them in confusion, holding the very glasses they were searching for.

"Wow~ so handsome!"

As a girl, Utatane Koharu fell for the boy's charming face the moment she saw him. Her face flushed slightly as she shouted in her heart, and she suddenly became a refined young lady, showing no trace of her previous shrewish behavior.

"Thank you so much!"

Putting on his recovered glasses and regaining his sight, Mitokado Homura's delicate face was filled with gratitude as he thanked the boy who had saved him.

"Hello, I'm Sarutobi Hiruzen. May I ask who you are?"

As the leader of the group of four, Sarutobi Hiruzen found the boy more and more familiar, especially the fluffy curls on top of his head, which made his own nether regions ache slightly. Confused, he introduced himself.

"Hello, I'm Uchiha Kagami. Are you here to join Konoha? Welcome, welcome~"

Uchiha Kagami, who had recently become Senju Tobirama's apprentice, had been directly abandoned by the busy Uchiha Gin. With no other choice, he could only follow his cheap teacher every day to learn the knowledge the man taught in his spare time. Even so, it was far more beneficial than being with his uncle.

"Uchiha, huh..."

Sure enough, this boy was the clansman of the divine doctor who had cured him. Thinking of this, the wariness on Sarutobi Hiruzen's face diminished, and he smiled at Uchiha Kagami.

"Thank you, you've been a huge help~"

"You're welcome, it's what I should do."

Having been forcibly tutored in moral education by Uchiha Gin since childhood, Uchiha Kagami had been cultivated into an advanced-thinking Young Pioneer. Helping old ladies across the street, carrying water for widows—these were all second nature to him.

"Your face is so red, are you running a fever? My uncle knows a little medicine; would you like to go over there and have him take a look?"

Noticing the girl's unnatural expression, he stepped forward and asked the flushed Utatane Koharu with concern.

"Hiruzen, does this guy have any relation to that detestable curly-hair?"

Stung by Uchiha Kagami's vibrant and innocent smile, Shimura Danzo leaned over to Sarutobi Hiruzen's ear and whispered.

"Even if they aren't father and son, they must be close relatives."

Based on the rare curly-hair trait, Sarutobi Hiruzen judged Uchiha Kagami's identity with certainty. Glancing at the slightly resentful Danzo, he frowned and whispered a reminder.

"Hmph~ no wonder he's so annoying!"

Watching his childhood sweetheart, Koharu, being completely infatuated with this curly-haired kid, Danzo felt sour inside. After a cold snort, he turned around and faced Uchiha Kagami with his buttocks, expressing his protest.

"Uh... is that person also your friend? Would you like to go get him checked out too?"

Uchiha Kagami, who had been given the cold shoulder by Danzo, scratched his head in confusion. Upon seeing the buttocks behind Danzo that defied human anatomy, he gasped and asked Utatane Koharu, who was clutching his arm, in shock.

"None of your business!"

Danzo, who had sharp ears, did not appreciate Uchiha Kagami's well-intentioned suggestion. Instead, he turned his head away arrogantly and refused coldly.

Hmph! Once my "Buttock Jutsu" reaches perfection, I'll definitely show you curly-hairs what's what!

"Alright, but you should be careful. Don't let a small ailment turn into a major disaster. I heard my uncle say that for tumors like this, they must be cut off to fully recover."

Thinking Shimura Danzo was just too shy to see a doctor, the kind-hearted Uchiha Kagami still tried to console him and explained the treatment for such a condition.

"Huh?"

Sarutobi Hiruzen, who was listening from the side, felt a chill in his crotch when he heard the word "cut." His face turned extremely ugly, and his hunched back became even more stooped, as if he were hiding something.

"Pop-pop-pop~ pop-pop-pop~"

Suddenly, the sound of firecrackers came from afar, drawing the attention of everyone present. The children who were chatting were also attracted by the lively noise, each of them craning their necks, wanting to see what was going on.

"... ur Senju clan has always been committed to using nuclear-peace methods to resolve disputes, hoping to establish a safe and stable..."

The crowd, who had been lulled to sleep by Senju Hashirama's long and tedious speech, felt a jolt of energy upon hearing the sudden sound of firecrackers. They began to whisper to each other, asking what was happening over there.

Some even began to sneak toward that direction, wanting to see what was going on. Just like that, as one person after another left, only the members of the Ninja Clan Alliance, who dared not act rashly, were left staring at each other in front of the Senju detention point.

"Tobirama, what's going on over there? Wasn't it announced in advance for shops to delay their opening?"

Senju Hashirama, who had been in the middle of his flow, was unhappy about being interrupted and turned to ask his brother.

"Hmph~ Huh? That's the Uchiha's temporary detention point."

Senju Tobirama, who had also been lulled to sleep by his brother's chanting, instantly cleared his head upon hearing his brother's voice. His scarlet eyes looked toward the source of the sound, and upon realizing where it was, a look of surprise appeared on his cold face.

"Who is in charge of the detention point?"

Clearly, he was spreading the philosophy of peace, so why were these guys so troublesome? He had to report them to Madara!

"Let me see, it seems to be that curly-haired guy~"

Seeing a familiar figure from afar, Tobirama Senju's expression became quite colorful, and he then said in a strange tone,

"Huh? Big Brother Gin!"

Upon hearing that the person in charge was Uchiha Gin, Hashirama Senju, who had just been arrogant and prepared to go find Madara Uchiha to settle scores, subconsciously shrank his head. Not only did his look of displeasure vanish, but a few smiles also appeared on his tense face. He turned and waved to his younger brother, then spoke to the members of the Ninja Clan Alliance below the stage,

"Let's go, let's go see what kind of activity the Uchiha side is holding~"

The members of the Ninja Clan Alliance followed behind the two Senju brothers, walking toward the Uchiha detention point. Before they even arrived, they heard a deafening sound of music, which made the curiosity in their hearts grow even stronger.

In front of the Uchiha detention point stood a giant speaker, which was playing a song that Uchiha Gin had worked overnight to record.

Every word was like a piercing tear of blood, and the hoarse voice and melancholic tone made the onlookers, who did not know the truth, unable to help but feel a few traces of sympathy for the plight of these jailers.

"Fan Uchiha, Fan Uchiha, the ancestral dungeon has gone out of business~"

"Fan Uchiha's best-benefit dungeon, the ancestral dungeon has gone out of business~"

"Bastard, bastard clan leader Madara, obsessed with wooden dolls, obsessed with wooden dolls~"

"Owed, owed 350 million, and ran away with his wooden dolls~"

"We have no, no way, no way, taking prisoners to pay wages, wages~"

"Prisoners whose original bounties were 10 million, 20 million, 30 million, all for just 2 million~"

"2 million, 2 million, all for just 2 million, all, all, all, all 2 million~"

"Madara, you bastard, you bastard, Madara, you are not, you are not, you are not human~"

"Prisoners whose original bounties were 10 million, 20 million, 30 million, all for 2 million, all for 2 million~"

"Madara, you bastard, you bastard, Madara, you are not, you are not, you are not human~"

"We worked so hard, worked so hard for you, worked for you for half a lifetime~"

"You, you, you don't pay, don't pay wages, you return, return my hard-earned money~"

"Return my hard-earned money!"

"Tobirama, this voice..."

Hearing this bizarre yet catchy singing, Hashirama Senju felt he couldn't take another step. His foot, which had been stepping forward, hung in mid-air as he asked his brother behind him in a strange tone,

"That's right, it's that curly-haired guy's voice. I didn't expect him to be an excellent singer as well. If there's a chance, I must exchange singing techniques with him~"

Compared to his older brother, whose face looked somewhat ugly, Tobirama Senju, who was well-versed in music, actually had a strange luster in his eyes. The way he looked at Uchiha Gin faintly held the intention of seeking advice.

I will not easily yield the title of Konoha Diva to you, curly-hair!

"Sure enough, no matter how good the product is, it's useless without advertising~"

Watching the onlookers immersed in the singing, Uchiha Gin nodded with satisfaction. It was worth it to have worked all night to rush the production of this advertisement song; the effect was truly outstanding.

"Hey, look, there's a banner hanging there too~"

In the crowd, a sharp-eyed onlooker pointed at the banner hanging above and shouted in surprise,

"Uchiha Dungeon Auction Center, what does that mean?"

After being reminded, the other onlookers hurriedly looked at the banner. The large characters written on it left them confused for a moment.

"Hey, hey, hey~ Welcome everyone to come and support us. I am the host of this auction, Uchiha Gin~"

After testing the microphone in his hand, Uchiha Gin, who had changed into a formal suit, used hair gel to fix his curly hair into a mature style. Wearing gold-rimmed glasses, he introduced himself to the audience below the stage with deep affection.

"Ah? Didn't you say it was free? Why is it being auctioned now?"

Hearing Uchiha Gin's words, the curious onlookers below the stage couldn't help but shout loudly. The Senju clan had promised it would be free!

"This little brother asks a good question, but the 'free' event has ended. From now on, it has become an auction mode~"

Seeing the heckler was so sensible, Uchiha Gin immediately waved his hand, indicating that the promotional event held by the Senju clan earlier had ended, and his auction was the main event.

Your Senju clan giving things away for free has nothing to do with me, Uchiha. We never agreed to donate for free.

"Big Brother, didn't you reach an agreement with Madara Uchiha? Didn't you say it was an unconditional release?"

Hearing Uchiha Gin's words, Tobirama Senju, who was standing below the stage, immediately turned his gaze toward his older brother and questioned him under the other's slightly flustered expression.

"Cough, cough... Did I say it or did I not?"

With his eyes darting around, Hashirama Senju looked like a child who had done something wrong. Facing his brother's questioning, he could only answer ambiguously.

"Lord Tobirama, this is different from what was agreed. Wasn't it promised to be free?"

While the two brothers were having an internal conflict, Sasuke Sarutobi, who had been following closely behind, stood out and asked with a frown.

"Uh... there might be some misunderstanding in this..."

Facing the sharp gazes of the Ninja Clan Alliance, a guilty Tobirama Senju scratched his face unnaturally. He had thought his brother had already settled the matter, but he hadn't expected this sudden situation to arise, leaving him at a loss for how to explain it.

"Cough, cough, cough, everyone, please stay calm. It's just spending a little money; consider it a contribution to building Konoha."

Seeing his brother fall into a predicament, the always protective Hashirama Senju stood out and coughed a few times. Although his tone was flat, it carried a faint threat.

Are you going to donate or not?

"Alright, 2 million isn't a large number..."

Sensing the threat, Sasuke Sarutobi calmed down his allies behind him, turned to look at Uchiha Gin on the stage who was introducing the auction process, and compromised.

The grace of saving the bird is unforgettable; 2 million is nothing, just consider it a thank-you gift to the divine physician!

"Our Yamanaka clan will pay the 2 million. Hurry up and return Elder Soichiro to us!"

Before Sasuke Sarutobi could even speak, the representative of the Yamanaka clan on the side had already spoken impatiently. Her beautiful face was filled with worry, as if one second later, Soichiro Yamanaka would pass away on the spot.

"Uh, this lady, our auction hasn't started yet, please don't be in such a hurry~"

Not expecting to have a customer so soon, Uchiha Gin, who had been worried about having no business, raised his eyebrows in excitement and explained to the Yamanaka clan representative below the stage.

"It's just 2 million, our Yamanaka clan isn't short on money. Also, return Uncle Ichino to us as well!"

4 million might be an astronomical figure for ordinary people, but for a ninja clan like theirs, it was just a few days' worth of revenue.

"Good, good, good. Since this lady is so anxious, let's start the auction with the Yamanaka clan~"

Since you are in such a hurry, I will use you as an example. I hope Brother Soichiro won't be angry; after all, it was your clan's choice.

In the backstage of the detention point.

"Hehe~ You lost, right? Sure enough, our Yamanaka clan is the most loyal!"

Soichiro Yamanaka's old face wrinkled into a chrysanthemum as he laughed. He reached out to the few fellow prisoners beside him and boasted happily.

"That kid Sasuke actually hesitated. I wasted so many years teaching him!"

Takinosuke Sarutobi, who had lost the bet, angrily threw over a token bearing his clan emblem, his eyes filled with disappointment toward Sasuke Sarutobi.

"Sigh~ That kid Shinji must not have eaten enough, that's why he was so slow!"

A man as sturdy and fat as a small mountain picked a token with the word "Eat" on it from between his fingers and handed it to Soichiro Yamanaka. His narrow eyes also flashed with a look of disappointment.

"A boring bet!"

Jinji Shimura, who also hadn't won, turned his head away and tossed out a mark with the Shimura clan emblem, saying with a cold face, while his heart was filled with endless complaints about Kenichi Shimura.

The other losers were not as petty as him; they generously threw over their tokens bearing their clan emblems, their words filled only with condemnation for the younger generation.

"A bet is a bet. When I go back, I must discipline that kid!"

"Hehe, it seems those kids in the clan have forgotten my divine might!"

"Hehe, I've made a fortune~"

Soichiro Yamanaka smiled as he held a pile of tokens with various clan emblems. These were the stakes for their bet, and each one was worth 1 million.

He didn't expect that after being in prison for so many years, he had come in penniless, but upon leaving, he would be wealthy enough to rival the world.

"Soichiro Yamanaka, it's time to go."

Just then, the voice of a jailer came from outside the door. He, Soichiro Yamanaka, was about to regain his freedom!

"Alright, I'm coming, old man~"

Holding the stakes, Soichiro Yamanaka moved with wind under his feet, as agile as if he weren't a man over seventy. However, the other person's next words caused the chrysanthemum on his old face to instantly wither and wilt.

"Take off your clothes first, don't even leave your underwear!"

(End of chapter)