Chapter 388: Keeping Vigil

Du Zhengyi went straight back to the Highland Mage encampment; the journey was smooth, and no further complications arose. He felt dazed, as if he were sailing a ship on the sea; he was a good sailor, but whether there was wind or not was entirely out of his control.

The Highland Mages had moved the entrance to the garden where the climate was most pleasant, though looking around, they had already repaired almost all of the damaged buildings. This meant they had finally solved the problem of the plants going mad as well.

There were not many people in the garden; they were likely all staying indoors. The Highland Mages had temporarily pried open a door in the sealed building, even installing a door frame, repainting it in a dark red color, and tracing it with golden patterns. He could not tell if the patterns were hand-painted, as they had the roughness and imperfect symmetry of hand-drawn work. This meant there were still parts they hadn't finished, but the progress of the work was still quite good.

His friends were waiting in the garden. Mahjong, who had been chatting with a group of Qionglin Mages, spotted him almost immediately and left them to hurry over. Du Zhengyi saw his gaze fall on the Luo Qi he was holding, his expression worried. Guan Xinyue ran even faster than him, and she was full of excitement. He did not know why she had made such an optimistic judgment; perhaps it was because she had not yet grown up. As a child, she had an astonishing trust in the adults around her, believing that he could solve any problem.

"How is it?" Mahjong asked.

It took Du Zhengyi a moment to regain the ability to speak. "Doctor, I hope you can take another look."

He emphasized Mahjong's identity as a doctor. Although he said nothing else, Guan Xinyue's face had already changed, and she stood still, trembling, as if resisting the discovery of the truth.

Mahjong's eyes widened behind his lenses, and he reacted slowly. "Of course, alright. That corridor of ours has just been repaired; let's go back to his room, and I'll take a look there. There are too many people here; I need a quiet environment."

Du Zhengyi did as he was told. Guan Xinyue followed them into the corridor but lagged far behind. After they entered the room, Guan Xinyue waited in the corridor. Du Zhengyi had no heart to care about her thoughts; he placed Luo Qi on the bed and retreated as far as he could, not wanting to disturb Mahjong, nor wanting to disturb his own last shred of hope.

Mahjong looked at him strangely. "Are you injured?"

"I'm fine," Du Zhengyi said. "Take a look at him first."

"I don't think he's in such a rush," Mahjong insisted, staring at Du Zhengyi. Du Zhengyi lost this staring contest and complied with Mahjong's medical requirements. For him, he truly didn't care about this bit of time anymore, and he even felt a faint sense of relief that the verdict could be delayed for a while.

The room was quiet, with only the faint sounds emitted by the Medical Magic. Du Zhengyi was very familiar with this sound; sometimes he wondered if it was the sound of his tissues repairing and his skin healing. He couldn't remember how many times he had been stitched back together; if the Mages' medical technology hadn't been so exquisite, he might have been riddled with holes long ago.

"Done," Mahjong finally said, wiping the fine sweat from his forehead and turning to face Luo Qi, who was lying motionless on the bed. He pushed up his glasses. "The brain scan might take some time."

Du Zhengyi nodded and reached out his hand, as naturally as if he were pulling a chair out of thin air. He sat down on the chair, waiting for Mahjong to announce the final result.

Time passed second by second, and the smell of medicine in the room grew stronger. Du Zhengyi realized that Mahjong had spent much more time than Clownfish had; perhaps it was because his Magic Ability was far lower than Clownfish's, or perhaps it was because he also didn't want to give up any shred of hope. But the longer it took, the more Du Zhengyi knew that his result would likely remain consistent with Clownfish's seemingly hasty judgment. He began to regret letting Mahjong do this; otherwise, he wouldn't have to stay in such a small room, enduring the smell of medicine and the heat radiating from the Medical Magic. The sweltering heat steamed up this cramped room, and he almost felt like vomiting. If Luo Qi were here, he might have told Luo Qi in private that he was starting to get motion-sick from Mahjong, just like some people got motion-sick from cars or boats.

Finally, Mahjong turned around and looked at him. He also raised his eyes to look at his friend, his expression calm.

"There is no damage to his brain structure," Mahjong said, looking at him. "It is possible that he will be able to open his eyes for certain periods every day, and perhaps even eat, but as for things like walking, it is unlikely he will be able to do so. To be precise, it is now an intact but empty body. You know, in our world, this situation means... means Luo Qi is already dead."

Du Zhengyi nodded.

Mahjong hesitated for a moment and asked him, "How do you feel right now?"

"Me?" Du Zhengyi thought for a moment. There was only him and his friend here; it didn't seem to matter if he spoke his feelings. "I feel very strange."

"Strange?" Mahjong asked, puzzled. "Whether you are willing to admit it or not, I think you are actually very sad right now."

"I can only feel strange; everything is the same as before," he said in a low voice. His gaze drifted out the window; outside Luo Qi's window was that garden. It was evening now, and people were walking in the garden. There were people sitting in twos and threes by the lake, and even the sunlight was soft, falling gently on the clearing in the woods and on the emerald lake. "Look, everyone is the same as before, nothing has changed, and I am still me. This world hasn't changed at all; only Luo Qi's orbit has finished its course. Everything else continues to run as usual, tomorrow's sun will rise as usual, and the other people in this world will wake up as usual at that time."

Mahjong looked out the window for a while, then turned back to look at the calm Du Zhengyi, feeling somewhat worried. Everyone had to find their own way to solve the problem of grief; emotions had to be released. What he worried about was that Du Zhengyi couldn't solve this problem. But he wouldn't say that to Du Zhengyi; Du Zhengyi might have already cut off his own ability to feel grief. This was the Battle Mage's way of solving the problem of grief: keeping the grief in his heart, then leaving it to the arrangement of the Goddess of Fate, waiting for the wound to heal, or waiting for himself to slowly rot away.

Mahjong was silent for a while, thinking of Luo Qi. No matter how worried he had been about him when Luo Qi was around, thinking about it now, everyone was actually better off when Luo Qi was there than when they had lost him.

Mahjong pondered for a moment and spoke cautiously, "Even though you yourself cannot understand and just feel strange, I think if Luo Qi were here, he would definitely understand what you are saying. One day I heard Luo Qi chatting with Guan Xinyue in the library of the Mind Society; because of Guan Xinyue's experiences, they talked about how to face the death of people around them. Luo Qi said he understood why Guan Xinyue was sometimes irritable. He said it was like what King Lear said when he lost Cordelia: 'Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life, and thou no breath at all?'"

The silence in the room became substantial. Finally, Du Zhengyi sighed. "So that's how it is."

The lines on his face softened a little, no longer as stiff as before. He smiled again and said, "Luo Qi really read a lot, didn't he? It doesn't match his childish appearance at all."

"Kids who aren't good at studying have a lot of time for idle things," Mahjong also smiled. He watched Luo Qi silently for a while, then turned and went out, leaving Du Zhengyi alone in the room.

Du Zhengyi was still sitting in the chair. He heard Guan Xinyue ask Mahjong about the situation at the door, and Mahjong told her. He had thought she would rush in to see Luo Qi one last time, but she burst into loud sobs, then ran away crying.

Mahjong had just said that everyone's way of dealing with grief was different; perhaps Guan Xinyue couldn't face the "last look." In fact, this wasn't the last look either, because when Luo Qi returned last time, he was actually already gone.

Du Zhengyi didn't know why he wanted to sit here either, but he had nothing else to do anyway, and nothing else he wanted to do.

After midnight, Mahjong returned, bringing a lamp.

"You're still sitting here?" Mahjong said, and sighed. "You don't intend to just let Luo Qi's body exist like this, do you?"

"Why not?" Du Zhengyi asked in return. "In my hometown, we often preserve a lock of hair from the deceased as a memento. This is certainly better than just preserving a lock of hair."

"In my hometown, we usually keep a photo!" Mahjong said, looking at Du Zhengyi with concern. "You don't really think that, do you?"

"Then do you want me to strangle him?" Du Zhengyi suddenly became angry. "Maybe he'll open his eyes tomorrow morning; do you want me to watch his eyes and make him stop breathing?"

Mahjong had nothing to say. He had also thought about this problem. He even hoped that if Luo Qi had to die, it wouldn't be this kind of death; it was only normal for the soul and body to die together. Everyone feared Mind Mages precisely because they feared encountering this kind of death where the soul precedes the body.

Luo Qi really shouldn't have suffered such a miserable end.

But Du Zhengyi gradually calmed down again. "I won't keep him; I will send him home. Everything should be decided by his parents. Before that—"

Before that, he wanted to stay with him. Mahjong finished the sentence Du Zhengyi hadn't completed. He didn't ask what happened to the soul that had occupied Luo Qi's body; if she were still alive, Du Zhengyi wouldn't be sitting here. Luo Qi had been murdered, and the person who murdered Luo Qi had already paid the price, so all that remained was helplessness. Damn it!

He wanted to talk to Du Zhengyi. Du Zhengyi's situation was not very good; he was starting to think that even if he risked saying something that might lead to worse results, it would still be better than the current situation.

"Speaking of his parents, did you ever figure out why his parents sealed his ability?" Mahjong asked.

Du Zhengyi looked up, and Mahjong saw him thinking. "To avoid this kind of result?"

"Luo Ruian was a high-level Mind Mage; he served the highest secrets of Qionglin. He might have known many things we didn't know," Mahjong said. "Perhaps when Luo Qi was young, he assessed the situation and believed that once Luo Qi's ability was exposed to the world, it would be difficult for him to live until he had spread his wings."

"Then he has reason to punch me in the face now," Du Zhengyi said.

"You can't say that either," Mahjong said uneasily. "Have you ever heard that many ancient Calculators believed that the future is destined and cannot be changed? They believed that the future is always predetermined, and no matter how people cheat, the universe will fix the errors."

Under the lamplight, Du Zhengyi's expression looked unfathomable. "Fixing the system paradox?"

Mahjong waited for him to say more, but he didn't continue. He thought this topic might not have been started very well; chatting about unknown academic problems, you couldn't say much after a few words.

"Hey, let's just talk about anything, what else can we do?" He couldn't stand it anymore, so he also conjured a chair to sit on and summoned two glasses of strong liquor, thrusting one into Du Zhengyi's hand. "Tell me, how exactly did you discover that Luo Qi wasn't Luo Qi? Tell the truth, what was the one thing that made you most certain?"

Du Zhengyi hesitated and took a sip of the liquor, as cautious as ever; a warrior couldn't truly get drunk. But the taste of the liquor was too mellow, and the burning sensation of the alcohol warmed his cold body. He laughed. "You don't know how annoying Luo Qi is."

"I don't want to imagine it." Mahjong drank a glass of liquor in one gulp, and the glass was full again. "But you were still willing to let him follow you!"

"It wasn't that I was willing to let him follow me," Du Zhengyi said, drinking some more liquor. He raised his head and looked at the dark ceiling; although the dome of this room was high, a small lamp couldn't light up the darkness overhead. "It was that I was willing to be with him. He knew my happiness and my sadness; he knew what I was thinking. Every time I looked back, he would give me a knowing look, and I could always see understanding in his eyes. That feeling was like... like the world finally saw me."

"You guard this world, but this world has never seen you?" Mahjong asked.

"Something like that," Du Zhengyi smiled. The chair in the room was not far from the foot of Luo Qi's bed, and he reached out his hand, which naturally landed on Luo Qi's lower leg. He patted it, as if his lazy buddy could still stand up and tell jokes with him. "When he wasn't him anymore, of course I knew."

Mahjong couldn't speak; he drank another glass of liquor.

"He was long-winded; I really don't know why Guan Xinyue liked him. Don't girls like cold men like me? Or warm uncles like you? Luo Qi was long-winded, trivial, nagging, meddlesome, crafty, nitpicky..." Du Zhengyi said, swallowing a mouthful of liquor. "Why could I be sure it wasn't him? Because Luo Qi always wanted to establish an Entanglement with me."

Mahjong looked up in surprise, staring at Du Zhengyi.

"There is a Life-Death Entanglement between me and the Gushan Guards that prevents us from killing each other. As long as the total number of Gushan Guards is three or more—no, to be precise, as long as there are three active Yajian, there will be a restraint on each other's Yajian, and our will will forever guard the secrets of Gushan. But of course, that's not what Luo Qi wanted; he wanted an Entanglement in the general sense," Du Zhengyi said. He didn't even realize he was saying more and more, didn't realize he had started to pour his heart out.

For the first time, Mahjong acted in the role of this kind of human psychologist. "Luo Qi wanted you to maintain a mortal Entanglement, with your Yajian completely open? No secrets? None?"

"You Mind Mages all share this kind of Entanglement," Du Zhengyi said, then added, "As far as I know?"

"Indeed, sometimes a connection like this is established with other Mind Mages among family members, especially when there are children in the family, to make it easier to look after them. But most of the time, it's just an impulsive decision made after drinking to establish an Entanglement with one's wife. That kind of ending is usually quite tragic; people are already divorced before the Entanglement is even undone. Human nature just can't withstand such scrutiny," Majiang said. "I really do admire Luo Qi a bit. From what I can see, he definitely has things he's hiding from you, little secrets, but if you two established this kind of integrity connection—"

"I know what he's thinking. He is a Mind Mage, and I am only a Primary Telepath. He is confident that even after establishing an Entanglement, he could still successfully hide those little secrets of his from me," Du Zhengyi said mercilessly, but Majiang could hear the undisguised affection in his tone. It was as if he were boasting about Luo Qi's clever little tricks and feeling smug about his cunning. The favoritism and protectiveness were so obvious. Yet, thinking of the person who was so cherished being gone forever, Majiang raised his head and gulped down a full glass of wine.

"Does he want your secrets?" Majiang asked.

"He can't get them. The Contract of Gushan takes precedence, with a higher priority than an ordinary mortal Entanglement," Du Zhengyi said. His tone turned cold again, like a fire in a hearth that had just flared up with sparks, only to gradually fade toward extinction. "He might have just wanted to get this on a whim. Entangling with me might have satisfied him, letting him go around bragging a little. He just thought it would be fun. I didn't agree, and of course, I wouldn't agree. Becoming his Anchor was already inappropriate enough; adding another layer of Entanglement would only leave a larger, deeper void in his mental world when I leave. I'm afraid it would be like a Black Hole blowing with cold wind, never to heal, devouring the sense of happiness in the rest of his life. But I was too arrogant. After his accident, I thought many times: if I had agreed back then, I might have known the moment he had the accident. Perhaps, perhaps I could have been in time to save him. Who could have imagined he would actually go before me?"

"That is something no one could have imagined," Majiang said. "No one would have thought of it."

Du Zhengyi was silent for a while and patted Luo Qi's leg again. Majiang couldn't bear to watch; Du Zhengyi's behavior was as if he still believed Luo Qi was just sleeping. Du Zhengyi continued on his own, "As a substitute for not having an Entanglement, he would take a look into my Consciousness World whenever he was free."

"He could cross the barrier?" Majiang asked in surprise.

"He couldn't get over. He would just pat the barrier, like a child kicking the gate of the neighbor's house, or poking a friend behind their back. He'd run off right after patting," Du Zhengyi said, looking down at his wine glass.

This time, Majiang really couldn't help but laugh out loud. He truly couldn't imagine how Du Zhengyi tolerated Luo Qi, and he couldn't imagine even more why Luo Qi was born without fear of Du Zhengyi, this murderous god with such heavy baleful energy. Only Luo Qi would dare to break ground on the head of Tai Sui, and yet he was the only one who could retreat unscathed and still be full of spirit.

"Perhaps he wanted to tell me that he was always there," Du Zhengyi continued. "This is his way of expressing it. I can understand. Although it's annoying, to be honest, it's also very warm. Even I wouldn't want to refuse such warmth from someone."

He raised his head and finished the wine in his cup, not realizing it had been filled once again. By the light of the lamp, he gazed at his friend's sleeping face. He restrained the urge to wake him, as if he only had to call Luo Qi's name for Luo Qi to wake up, and they could return to the past. The so-called past was only a few days ago. A few days ago, he thought a Highland Mage could bring safety, because those mortals couldn't reach this place.

What use is there in reflecting on mistakes after the fact?

"So when he suddenly stopped doing that, you knew?"

"Ah, it's more complicated than that," Du Zhengyi said, coming back to his senses. "He could feel my mental damage issues. That 'ailment' always flared up when I was fast asleep; after all, that's when the subjective consciousness is at its weakest. I always fell asleep earlier than him. He would come to check before he slept, and by that time, I was basically in a deep sleep stage. When he came, my consciousness could still feel him a little. He would transmit some comforting feelings outside the barrier, like the steady sound of ocean waves, or a bit like rocking my consciousness to sleep. I would sleep into a deeper stage, crossing the level of mental damage, sleeping deeper. Of course, when he wanted to go out and do bad things behind my back, it was usually during this stage. But I knew what his original intention was. From the day he started doing this, there wasn't a day he didn't do it. I hadn't had a nightmare for a long time. Until the day I brought him back, and my nightmares returned with him."

Majiang listened with rapt attention and couldn't help but marvel; this was not easy. He had been a Doctor for so long and couldn't figure out how Luo Qi managed it. If there were such a method, he would have tried it on Du Zhengyi long ago. It might have alleviated Du Zhengyi's symptoms and won critical time for them to finally find a solution. "How did he do it?"

Du Zhengyi smiled, a very gentle smile. He looked at Luo Qi's face and whispered, "You can ask him."

Majiang froze. In an instant, all the coldness and reality brought by death returned to this bedroom.

Everything no longer existed.

They chatted casually for a while longer, drinking more wine than they spoke words. Majiang was drunk, a complete mess, and began to hold up his glass, singing a drinking song to Luo Qi in a hoarse voice.

"I once possessed vast wealth, and enjoyed it all with my comrades.

The harm I once caused, in the end, only left me to grieve alone.

The efforts I once made for learning have long since become smoke and clouds.

Come, let me pour this parting cup; good night, may joy always be with you all.

All my comrades lament my departure.

All my lovers hope I can stay with them one more day.

Let me gently raise my glass, and softly wish: good night, may joy always be with you all.

Good night, may joy always be with you all.

Good night, may joy always be with you all.

Good night, may joy always be with you all."

Even Du Zhengyi didn't know where this song came from, but his intuition told him Luo Qi would have liked it. He drank his wine in silence, and he didn't even notice when Majiang left in the end. He sat in Majiang's chair, which was closer to Luo Qi. He sat in the chair and fell asleep with his upper body resting on the edge of the bed.

"Good night," he murmured, reaching out to grab Luo Qi's forearm, which still held body heat, and sank into a painful dream.

Good night. More than once in the night, he seemed to hear Luo Qi's whisper. See you tomorrow, he would also hear Luo Qi say. He thought in a daze, see you tomorrow, tomorrow will never—

Suddenly, he woke up from the nightmare, sat bolt upright, and gripped Luo Qi's arm tightly. He took a deep, sharp breath, the cold air burning his lungs, "My god, I really am a dumbass. Aren't I?"