Chapter 47: You Can't Deceive Me

Meow…

Cat attempts to use the recently learned 'Disguise' skill from a monster to slip past unnoticed.

But…

Witch Miss gives him no response at all.

She lies on the ground motionless, as if she had frozen, maintaining the posture she fell in.

1 second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds…

The expected scene of her getting up and ending Cat's life never materialized, which only made Cat more uneasy.

Goo.

The little cat inhaled deeply, then silently stepped back a few paces.

He always feels this is the terrifying calm before a storm.

Commonly called the pre‑shake.

But nearly half a minute passes.

Witch Miss still lies there motionless.

wcwcwcwc, please don't actually be in trouble!

Cat's mind flashes with countless news headlines about accidental death incidents where nobody discovered them and missed the chance to rescue.

He hurriedly opened his eyes and examined Witch Miss carefully.

【Bai Yan was tripped to the ground, her head and body joints colliding with the floor】

【HP-0】

-0!

No special status!

Even the cat saw it!

You can't fool me, despicable witch!

Under the great Cat's appraisal, all lies will have nowhere to hide.

The appraisal popup gave Cat extra confidence and composure when stepping back again.

But…

After a long while, Witch Miss still hasn't gotten up from the ground.

She…

What happened?

It can't really be a problem, can it?

Could there truly be something the appraisal can't detect?

It shouldn't be, this is the ability set by that so‑called rigorous God in the reincarnation options…

Although he always feels something's off, a vague unease and doubt linger, watching Witch Miss whose breath is gradually weakening, Cat still lifts his little leg and walks toward her.

Meow…?

Trotting three steps then two, Cat quickly reaches Witch Miss's side.

He rubs against Witch Miss's hair, then sniffs her ear.

Seems… there's no smell of death?

Then what is wrong with her?

Soul out of body?

Trapped in Schrödinger's ambiguous special state?

While Cat is pondering cosmic quantum mechanics, the Witch Miss, who should have fainted or died, suddenly reaches out and slams Cat onto the ground.

"Got you! Heal the cat!"

Σ(⊙▽⊙「!!!!

Careless, didn't dodge.

Damn witch, using such sneaky deceit to trick the kind little cat!

(blushing face)

He just says!

How could the skill go wrong!

My damned kindness, these… these damned little short legs.

Why am I walking forward?

Now it's over! Fallen into the enemy's hands!

【'Arch‑enemy' triggered】

Fine, now the little kitten has no chance to run away.

Think about it: is your enhanced 88 strength enough for a round of Cat punches against Witch Miss, and can 112 agility let you slip a three‑dish‑one‑soup out of her palm…

【Cannot】

…

This kind of thing doesn't need appraisal, okay!

I know, your function is broad, fine!

In the blink of an eye, Cat's heartbeat quickens, and to make matters worse, Witch Miss suddenly leans her smiling face toward him.

She bends down, lowers her body, firmly pins Cat's two front legs to the floor, almost pressing against his face, and laughingly says to the cat,

"Come on, little cat. Explain to me properly."

Death is calling.

Cat can even feel Witch Miss's dangerous breath.

Only that…

Explain…?

Hm?

(●ↀωↀ●)?

Did Cat do something that requires an explanation?

Wasn't it that you suddenly lifted the blanket, threw the little cat onto the floor, and brazenly, unreasonably tried to hit Cat with a slipper?

And the heavens have eyes, you fell?

Isn't this, Witch Miss, you getting what you deserve?

Although Cat didn't open its mouth to speak, and Witch Miss couldn't understand Cat's "meow", sometimes eyes and souls can communicate without barriers.

Just like now.

Witch Miss read Cat's meaning from Cat's yellow eyes, which held no remorse nor repentance.

Cat didn't notice at all that that little thought of its was already written all over its face.

Under his unreasonable, angry stare, Witch Miss's smile on her face grew more twisted.

"Hehe, little cat. Doesn't that expression say it's all my fault?"

No need to say that.

Hey, by the way, how did you see that?

Σ(⊙▽⊙「

"You're doomed!!!"

Saying that, Witch Miss directly lifted the little kitten, flipped it over, and gave its butt a hard smack!

Smack.

"Meow!!!"

Dog woman! Dead witch! Old pervert!

Cat's butt took a critical hit, and its little mouth was like it had honey on it.

"You still scold me!"

Sometimes, language has no boundaries.

Even without any translation, Witch Miss could tell that the little kitten's mouth had not a single kind word.

With another slap coming down, Cat cursed even more fiercely.

Right! It's you they're cursing!

Old hag! You old hag!

"Your little kitten mouth is so ugly! Which family's kitten looks like that!"

"Meow!"

Witch Miss said a line, Cat retorted a line, but this farcical dialogue only lasted three exchanges before Witch Miss ended it.

She loosened her hold on Cat, pouting, turning her head, hands clasped over her chest, feigning tolerance, and said,

"Hm, fine.

Considering you still remembered to come back, I won't argue with you."

What does "still remembered to come back" mean?

Cat is good at recognizing the way, right?

╭(╯^╰)╮

But spiteful as it is, Cat suddenly found Witch Miss's angry, pouting, hair‑stand‑up look kind of cute.

Definitely not the Cat whose eyes were bewildered by the valleys under a loose nightgown, deciding that the big cat has plenty and won't argue with her over these tiny flesh pains.

Although, indeed, the butt is truly Cat's sensitive spot.

This fight, actually feels quite thrilling.

Hey (ΩДΩ)… Did I just say something outrageous just now?

Cat, due to the terrifying thought in its mind, tangled its front paw with its hind paw and almost fell.

Seeing that Witch Miss no longer intended to hunt him, Cat skillfully used its tail to roll up the two bags of local specialties it had brought, and presented them before Witch Miss.

"Meow."

There, here's a gift for you.

Even though it's read in a monotone, Witch Miss can't understand it anyway, so just listening half‑heartedly is fine.

Cat indicates that it is definitely not being petty or holding a grudge.

Witch Miss turned her head, glanced at the little cat sitting before her and the two fully‑packed bundles behind her, and asked with some surprise,

"Is this… meant as a gift for me?"

"Meow!"

Of course!

At the mention of these authentic and perfect local specialties, the little cat's pride practically overflowed; he instantly tore open the bundles and placed them one by one before Witch Miss.

Only…

Unlike the proud, enthusiastic Cat, Witch Miss's expression froze.

These… what are they?

Wriggling pieces of meat, brightly colored scales, herbs placed in glass bottles, cloth fragments painted like totems…

There are also some things I haven't really seen before, that seem edible, like fruit……

And a small box that is exquisite but somewhat faded.

「Glug。」

Is this the love coming from Cat?

It's a bit heavy, and also somewhat not in line with folklore.

Hmm……

But it's still better than a mouse.

Moreover, bringing back so much stuff—is it because I am very important in Cat's heart?

It is known that when a kitten likes its owner very much, it will bring back a prey it caught itself as a gift after going out.

It is known that Cat went out and came back bringing her two bags of gifts.

So the question is, how important is she in Cat's heart?

Just thinking about this proportion, Witch Miss's two days of accumulated grievance and dissatisfaction almost completely dissipated, as if they didn't exist.

However…… the things Cat brought back really test my knowledge reserves……

Looking at these gifts she didn't know how to identify, Witch Miss used the built-in 'Appraisal' ability of the Growth Guard System.

【Mental Earthworm Meat Chunk】: Mental earthworms have strong physique and vitality; the meat chunk can maintain an 'active' state for a long time after leaving the body, and if returned to soil to enter a 'dormant' state, it can slowly grow into a complete mental earthworm

【Silver-pattern Forest Python's Scales】: Sharp and pointed scales, they are good weapons for the silver-pattern forest python's defense and constriction.

【Monster Bittergrass】: Its head bears a bitter weed resembling 'magic grass'; when pulled from the ground, it both cries out sharp angles and flees, leading pursuers into the lair of nearby strong foes.

……

【Aqua's Blood】: A crystal condensed from the blood of the water god Aqua, bearing the water god's blessing upon it.

The water god's…… blessing?

Among a bunch of subtle loot, suddenly appeared an item whose art style was so bizarre that it turned out to be a normal and precious gift, leaving Witch Miss momentarily stunned.

Driven by curiosity, she suppressed the urge to let that bittergrass run loose across the floor, and carefully lifted the somewhat faded yet still exquisitely crafted box.

She opened the clasp, lifted the lid, and before her eyes lay a gemstone emitting an instant of exceptionally pure blue light.

Its slender, bar-like shape made Witch Miss immediately think of Cat's difficult-to-produce thumbnail.

The slender, pointed tip made the cat-raising Witch Miss, who had begun to go mad, feel an urge to fetch a nail clipper.

She liked it.

At the first sight of this pendant, Witch Miss took a liking to it, which was exactly like Cat's paw.

But…… it seems somewhat too precious.

Compared to my weak self, Cat might actually need this necklace bearing divine blessing more.

「Cat, can you really give this to me? 」

「Meow? 」

Could it possibly be fake?

Cat tilted his head in confusion, not understanding why Witch Miss would ask such a question.

「But, isn't this somewhat too precious? 」

Precious……?

This is nowhere near that.

If it weren't that Cat truly can't drink medicine, he'd still want to add a ring of bone ash… diamond edge to this necklace!

And this isn't really a precious item.

Cat didn't spend any money; it's just a fluke, and it's not like he just glommed onto a god's hype!

When Cat has money someday, he'll definitely buy you something better.

Hmph, if I said it out loud I'd scare you, but Cat is about to establish a merchants' guild and strike it rich!

Hmm…… not right.

Things money can buy still fall short, after all.

Wait until Cat gets even more badass, then grind a god's bone into jewelry for you.

Cat guarantees, you can rest easy.

Thinking thus, Cat swung his tail and patted Witch Miss's shoulder.

Witch Miss, you need to broaden your horizons, open up a bit, don't be so easily startled; you will have, and you deserve, more, better, rarer things~

After all, who made you the daughter of me, the great Demon Lord?

Of course, Witch Miss, who doesn't know what Cat is thinking inside, also has another explanation and understanding of his shoulder pat.

Mental earthworms, silver-pattern forest pythons—she knows these species.

Rare species that dwell in the lower levels of dungeons rank C or above.

She doesn't know what Cat did, what dangers he braved, to find this divine relic.

Moreover, he gave all the precious loot he obtained to her.

She carefully set the necklace aside, then fiercely hugged Cat and planted a hard kiss on his cheek.

「Thank you, Xiaohei. 」

Ah…… ah this.

Although he had been numbed by Witch Miss's kiss, such a proper kiss left him somewhat at a loss.

But when he lifted his head and looked at Witch Miss, he discovered her eyes were brimming with tears.

This left Cat momentarily at a loss.

This, this is just a small gift!

Do you really need to get that excited!

In the future… when I give you a bigger gift, you'll still have to bump heads with me like Pikachu!

Ah!!

Don't actually start crying!

The cat held by Witch Miss panicked for a moment.

Where does he get the relevant experience to handle this kind of thing!

You crybaby! It's just a gift! All you know is to cry, cry, cry.

While muttering complaints in his heart, the cat's four little paws already began to flail about.

Ah!!

Seeing the flood already burst its banks, the cat, whose mind grew more chaotic the more it thought, simply gave up thinking.

He lifted his head, stepped on Witch Miss's soft chest, rubbed his face against her cheek, and then leaned in to lick her.

Huh, it's salty.

But don't cry.

Although it's very nice… ah no, I mean although I know you're really happy to receive my gift, but you can express it differently.

"Cat…"

Witch Miss's choking voice made the cat feel somewhat helpless, letting its tail droop.

His comfort seemed not only useless, but actually made Witch Miss cry even harder.

Why, why… a woman's heart is like a needle in the sea, the cat just can't understand!

But helpless as it may be, the little cat still has to keep trying.

(ﾉ「◑◑)ﾉ「(｡•́︿•̀｡)

No more crying, no more crying! I'll give you something tasty to eat!

The cat had a brainwave, directly using its tail to rummage in the shadow, pulling out a string of roasted giant meat jerky that Pikachu had specially stuffed in before leaving, and handed it to Witch Miss… or rather, directly shoved it into Witch Miss's mouth.

While being forced to chew, Witch Miss lowered her head to look at the cat, which was flustered and winding around her, and couldn't help laughing.

"Thank you, Cat."

Although… this meat is really hard to eat.

She didn't dare to identify what this piece of meat was, nor did she want to.

Because she thought, this must be Cat's precious collection.

Her little cat is always like this.

Although it's strange, at times it's so thoughtful that it makes her feel light-headed.

Cat didn't know what Witch Miss was thinking; he only knew that he stopped her crying with food.

In a sense, this might be a perfect ending.

She dragged the tissues and trash can over to Witch Miss with her tail, then sat beside her with her paws for a while, after which Witch Miss's sobbing soon faded away.

Witch Miss looked at the cat sitting beside her, furrowed her brows, looking like a worried little old man, and suddenly said:

"Cat, I'm tired."

"Stay with me and sleep a while."

After saying that, she gave Cat no room to negotiate, directly scooped up the little cat and lay down on the bed.

Although the cat didn't feel sleepy, the moment the blanket was covered, that familiar scent, familiar pressure, familiar dim little environment made him, after taking a deep breath, honestly clear his mind.

A nap wouldn't be bad, meow.

"Thank you, Cat."

"Also, good night. See you in dreamland."

"Meow~"

And the butler, hearing the commotion upstairs, hurriedly finished his chores and rushed from the courtyard into the house, gently pushed the door open to see a person and a cat wrapped tightly in the blanket.

Oh? That black ball came back? No wonder the house was just so noisy.

Looking at the stubborn writhing lump of meat on the ground and the strange herb tapping the glass bottle, the old butler couldn't help twitching the corner of his mouth.

Although it was almost six o'clock now, the butler didn't wake Witch Miss; instead, fully alert, he quietly turned off the alarm that was about to ring, cleared away the strange things on the floor, and, as an afterthought, tightly drew the translucent curtains.

Click.

After the door was closed, the dim little room had not a trace of light.

Only the blanket quivered slightly, and two rising and falling breaths could be heard.

Today was Witch Miss's rare lazy day.