Chapter 3442

The Supermen turned their base in the Battleworld into another Fortress of Solitude. Most of the Supermen were familiar with the place, their red-caped figures flying around the hall like a flock of birds searching for branches in the early morning.

One figure among them stood out. He wasn't wearing a Superman uniform, but rather a dress shirt and suit trousers, sporting large black-rimmed glasses. He walked through the corridor holding a stack of documents, messaging on his phone as he went.

Walking while using a phone always leads to bumping into people. By the time Clark noticed the shadow appearing before him, it was too late; he collided head-on with another Superman. Looking up, he saw the other man's smiling expression.

"Hey, Clark, even though this place has been open for months, do you still get lost?" the other man said with a hint of helplessness. "I can't believe you still don't have your own base. What have you been busy with?"

Clark shrugged and said, "I'm discussing date night with Bruce. Valentine's Day is coming up soon."

A younger Superman flew over and said, "You're spending Valentine's Day with Batman?"

"In a sense, yes, but Selina and Lois will be there too. I'm trying to convince Bruce not to bring his little daughter. We should have a proper couple's night..." Clark replied.

"Unimaginable." The young Superman shook his head and said, "Whether it's Batman or Bruce, I can't imagine him flirting with his girlfriend right in front of me."

"He hasn't done that?" The Superman Clark had bumped into seemed rather surprised. "I've even seen the two of them kiss," he said. "Batman's cowl is structured specifically for that."

"Good heavens. How did I not think of that?" Clark laughed, revealing his white teeth, and began typing rapidly on his phone again. "I'm going to ask him if that's what he had in mind back then," he said.

"Oh, don't do that." The Superman in front of Clark quickly waved his hands and said, "If you ask, don't you dare say I was the one who brought it up. Otherwise, it'll get back to the Batman in my universe."

"Are you that afraid of him finding out?" Clark raised an eyebrow.

"He'd definitely start guessing under what circumstances I saw him kissing his girlfriend. Then I'd never see it again!"

"So how exactly did you see it?" The young Superman hung upside down from the corridor eaves, his long red cape dangling down, and asked with his arms crossed.

"If I said it was a coincidence... you guys definitely wouldn't believe me. I went to see a movie one day."

"Went to see a movie in Cat Getan?"

"Of course not. In Metropolis. At the cinema in the mall not far from my house. The movie that day was actually quite good, *The Prince of Egypt*. Have you guys seen it? It's simply the best animated film I've ever watched..." Clark said enthusiastically.

"Get to the point!" Clark pushed up his glasses and said.

"Then I heard someone calling my name."

"God. They're kissing, why would they call your name?!"

"No, I mean. Someone was calling for help!" Superman spread his hands and said. "Then I flew over and realized it was in Cat Getan. Someone was drowning, so I went over to save them. It just so happened to be a park there. After I fished the person out, I heard movement outside. I flew out and saw..."

Superman made a kissing gesture. The other two let out a disappointed "tch."

"Batman was still wearing his suit?"

Superman nodded and said, "If it weren't for the fact that they were both dressed in pitch black, I wouldn't have spotted them so easily."

"You're right," Clark suddenly said. "Seeing a movie is a great idea. We could pick a theme and watch the whole series in one night! With popcorn and cola, that would be amazing!"

"Oh, no." Superman said quickly, "If you want Bruce to come, you absolutely cannot do that. He has never sat properly in a cinema and watched an entire movie from start to finish. I don't think he likes movies at all!"

"Really?" Clark asked, sounding skeptical.

"Of course." The young Superman nodded vigorously and said, "Not to mention popcorn and cola; he wouldn't touch that stuff."

Clark took out his phone and typed rapidly, the two Supermen leaning in from left and right.

"Three seconds. He'll reject you within three seconds."

"I bet it's one second. His rejection will come faster than any other reply."

"Oh, come on, what is this profile picture?!" The Superman on the left said, looking at Bruce's avatar on Clark's chat interface. "This can't be him, right?! What is that on his head?"

"Don't worry about the details." Clark opened the chat interface, pressed the voice message button directly, and said, "Hey, Bruce, are you there?"

The two Supermen on either side exchanged a glance. After Clark sent the voice message, the one on the left nudged his arm and said, "You sent him a voice message directly? Didn't he emphasize not to do that?"

Clark glanced at him, his expression full of confusion. When he looked back at the computer screen, Bruce's reply had already arrived. It was also a voice message.

"I'm here. What's wrong? Clark?"

"Why is it so noisy on your end?"

"I'm at a bar! A bar!"

"Alright, you know Valentine's Day is coming up, right?"

"Of course... are you asking me out?"

"I'm planning to host a couple's night, how about it?"

"That sounds good. What exactly are we doing?"

"I don't know either, but they said we could watch movies. I think we could find a bunch of movies to watch."

"Just watch movies?"

The Superman on the right shrugged and said, "See what I told you? He doesn't like watching movies at all."

Just after saying this, Bruce sent another message: "You know Selina doesn't have that kind of patience. One movie is enough time for her to scratch up everything in your house."

"So you don't have any objections?"

"Of course I do, because I have to be responsible for stopping Selina! Otherwise, do you expect me to pay for your furniture? I have no money!"

Clark gave a helpless smile and said, "I promise I won't ask you to pay if our strong and beautiful cat breaks anything. Is that okay?"

"That won't work either!" Bruce shouted over the noisy background music of the bar. "You'll find a way to get it back elsewhere, I know you will! You'll secretly write in your news reports that I have six lovers. Three of them are men, and you were instigated by the damn Lex Luthor..."

Clark laughed out loud, but he replied immediately: "No, if it were Lex. He'd make me write that because you're dating three boyfriends and three girlfriends at the same time, your doctorate still hasn't been completed..."

"You two are truly vicious together! Damn Metropolis people!"

Clark heard his voice was slurred; he must have had a bit too much to drink. So he pushed a little harder and continued: "Well, regardless of the specific arrangements, you agree to the couple's night, right?"

"Should I agree? How confident are you that you won't cause a mess?"

"I've prepared sufficient safety measures. My house is also very soundproof. Or does the list of things Selina might scratch up include you?"

"Forget it. If you keep saying that, I'm bringing Aisha over."

"So you agree?"

"Fine. Small-town bumpkin. Do whatever you want. If I haven't shown up by then, just fly over and drag me there. Hahahaha... wait a minute. You didn't bring Lex, did you?"

"No, he doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Make him find one immediately, right now. Who else did you invite?"

"No one else, just the four of us. You know I absolutely, absolutely, absolutely would never invite Pamela."

"Didn't you say your house is very soundproof?"

"No, that's impossible. I'd rather let Selina tear apart all my furniture than let that woman get within half a step of Lois; she's practically a sex-crazed demon!"

In the next voice message, Bruce let out a dry heave, coughed twice, and said: "You really love Lois. I'm going to the dance floor. Come find me if you've got it all planned. Bye."

"Bye, I'll tell Lex that you told him to find a girlfriend immediately."

Clark put down his phone, only to find two pairs of blue eyes staring straight at him from left and right. The one on the left crossed his arms, and the one on the right stretched out a leg.

"You wouldn't happen to be the Superman of that Batman, would you?"

"I bet it is. There's no one else but him."

"I don't know what you guys are talking about." Clark shook his head, flipping through his contact list for Lex, and said, "You can't be jealous of me just because the Batman in my universe is easy to talk to."

"That's not what we're discussing. Or rather. Is he really Batman? Wasn't he impersonated by someone?"

Clark immediately opened Bruce's profile picture and showed it to the two of them, saying: "Doesn't this look different from the Bruce Wayne in your universe?"

"Of course they look the same, they all look the same. But—can you explain to us what that thing on his head is?"

Clark gave a very helpless expression and said: "Haven't you guys been to Disneyland? Isn't this Disney's mouse ears?"

"Amusement park? You want us to believe Batman would wear a pair of amusement park mouse ears on his head?"

"But Bruce would do that."

"He wouldn't, that would make him look childish. What are you going to have him talk about with those hot blondes while wearing an avatar like that? How cool the merry-go-round is?"

"That just goes to show they didn't have a childhood."

"Oh—" the two Supermen leaned back simultaneously, dragging out a long sound, and then said, "Stay polite, don't mention that!"

"I don't care what's going on with the Batman in your universe. Anyway, the Bruce I know is just fine."

"You mean the one getting drunk at a bar?"

"Going to a bar is a normal adult recreational activity. I go occasionally too. Don't you guys?"

"He's not really going to the bar. I bet right now he's in the place with the highest concentration of beautiful models in the world. And then he found over 60 camera angles. He's filming his debauched bar life in full. And then it'll hit over 20,000 headlines globally tomorrow..."

Clark squinted suspiciously, looked to the left, then to the right, "You guys wouldn't happen to be one of those 60-plus camera angles, would you?"

The two Supermen turned their heads away in unison.

"I'll say it again. No matter what your Batman is like, I know the Bruce I know very well. He goes to the bar just to drink. There are no beautiful models."

"Since you already sent him a voice message, why not make a video call?" the young Superman said. "He won't answer anyway."

"Do you know how childish this kind of trick is?" Clark looked at him, then opened the chat box again and continued, "I'll call if I want to. But he might not answer, because he might already be drunk out of his mind."

"He's faking it. Every Batman is faking it." Superman snorted and said, "Getting drunk on a sofa at a party and talking in his sleep. Then ten minutes later returning to the Batcave to solve 50 Riddler riddles in one minute. That's Batman."

"You sound very dissatisfied." Clark said while pressing the video call button.

About three seconds later, the other side answered. Clark heard Bruce curse something. Then the phone and wine bottles crashed together like dominoes. What appeared on the screen was a pair of shockingly blue eyes.

"Good heavens. Why are you so drunk?" Clark asked with some surprise, "How much did you drink? A whole glass of whiskey?"

The Bruce on the screen had messy hair; he didn't know if he was trying hard to close his eyes or open them, but he stretched his eyelids until there wasn't a single wrinkle. Then, like a true drunk, he pursed his lips into a straight line, then raised the corners of his mouth, smiling like a squash.

"You underestimate me. I drank three whole glasses!" Bruce hiccuped and said, "No ice. Tastes terrible."

"You're truly crazy." Clark said, "Don't tell me you specifically chose to fight with Selina before Valentine's Day. Why didn't she scratch you to death?"

(End of chapter)