Chapter 13: Hospital Prank

Lei Kedun and a few others rode a carriage and quickly arrived at the private hospital on Huo Ke Street in the northwest of Ma Dan City. Although it is a private hospital, it does not look any smaller than a public hospital. In front of Lei Kedun stood a castle‑like building covering more than 500 square meters and five stories tall, and the entire structure belongs to this private hospital.

"Deep Red Advanced Hospital, this hospital really is red," Lei Kedun said, looking at the building whose base was red with yellow stripes for washing, even the hospital's roof was red.

"It is the best hospital in the whole of Ma Dan City, but in the surrounding areas—whether Fei Nei Bo Te, Lunbao or Seijiaer—it is not famous. Most people at this private hospital are very hostile toward members of the Earth Mother God Church, which is why the Harvest Church handed the case over to us," Mr. Ke Si said, apparently well‑informed about the hospital.

"There has been a thief in the hospital recently; the stolen items aren't many nor valuable, but it's quite an embarrassment, and we are here to deal with it," Captain Yi Kangdun explained the situation at the private hospital.

"Catching thieves isn't the job of the Public Security Bureau?" Qiao Xi asked.

"Embarrassing? What do you mean?" Lei Kedun, holding a copy of *Hermes Language—From Beginner to Master*, asked curiously what the hospital had revealed that made its staff so angry that the Human Church had to intervene.

"It started with the hospital's name: someone stole the two characters 'hospital' from the Deep Red Advanced Hospital sign and wrote 'club' in their place. Then doctors' uniforms were stolen and put on patients, and the signs for each department were taken and randomly swapped, causing male patients to enter obstetrics, women to go into the men's restroom, a cold patient to be laid down in the intensive care unit and undergo half a surgery, and so on," Captain Yi Kangdun briefly described the incident.

"In addition, the hospital's ventilation ducts were stolen, causing a mixture of foul odors, and some of the doctors' personal collections were taken as well. That's the information we have so far; we initially suspect an extraordinary being of the thief path is pulling pranks here, and its sequence isn't very low, otherwise it couldn't accomplish so many deeds in a densely populated place like a hospital in such a short time without leaving a trace," Captain Yi Kangdun added.

"If it's already an extraordinary being with a decent sequence, why resort to pranks? Even if it wants revenge on someone at this hospital, there's no need for such childish methods," Qiao Xi voiced everyone's doubt.

"We can't tell; the opponent's actions have no purpose," Captain Yi Kangdun shook his head.

"Could it be that they're distracting everyone to hide a real objective?" Mr. Ke Si also offered his view.

"We can't rule that out," Captain Yi Kangdun nodded, showing more agreement with Mr. Ke Si's speculation.

"Lei Kedun, what do you think?" Captain Yi Kangdun asked Lei Kedun again.

"Huh? Me?" Lei Kedun's mind was still on the prank; when he was suddenly addressed, he snapped back, thought for a moment, and said, "I think it might really just be a prank!"

"Why would someone with such extraordinary ability be fixated on pranks?" Qiao Xi retorted.

"Because I can't think of any reason for them, and their behavior shows no pattern—just like a joker looking for amusement," Lei Kedun shrugged.

Lei Kedun thought this might be the main reason for the prank, or perhaps because the number‑one of the thief path is such a joker; whenever matters related to the thief path arise, Lei Kedun subconsciously thinks of that joker.

Since this path has already devoured most extraordinary beings above demigod level, and the opponent has a swarm of clones roaming, Lei Kedun finds it hard not to associate the incident with that joker, even avoiding the opponent's name to prevent unnecessary trouble.

"It's unbelievable, yet it does make sense," Mr. Ke Si said after a pause.

"Let's go. We'll pretend to be ordinary patients' relatives and check the hospital. Because of this series of incidents, the hospital's management is in chaos, so it's convenient for us to observe the real situation. But we must constantly watch our own condition; if the thief is still inside, it could steal our belongings—or even our thoughts," Captain Yi Kangdun instructed.

"If the opponent is that dangerous, why are only a few of us here? If they truly have such abilities, it would be hard for us to keep them from leaving," Lei Kedun wondered, feeling the captain wasn't taking the suspected high‑sequence thief‑path extraordinary being seriously.

"If we can't handle it, we'll hand the case over to the Earth Mother God Church, which originally has jurisdiction over such matters. This is Fei Nei Bo Te, and the Knowledge Church's influence here is limited. We only need to gather information to prove we can't resolve it, then the Earth Mother God Church will take over," Captain Yi Kangdun said in a very solemn, formal tone, outlining a passive‑aggressive approach.

"Huh? It can be done like that?" The honest kid Qiao Xi, clearly never having seen such a maneuver, looked utterly shocked.

"The hospital's owner has an unusual identity, so we have to use this roundabout method?" Mr. Ke Si quickly grasped the crux of the issue.

"On the surface, the owner is a noble; as for the hidden identity, the church's records have no corresponding entry," Captain Yi Kangdun nodded, agreeing with Mr. Ke Si's view.

"The hidden identity— the hospital is called Deep Red—could this be a blood‑clan enterprise? If so, the thief is quite impressive, managing to cause trouble repeatedly under the blood clan's nose without being caught even a tiny bit," Lei Kedun thought silently as he gazed at the red‑dominated castle‑like building.

When he came to his senses, Lei Kedun saw the captain and Qiao Xi already inside the hospital, and he hurriedly quickened his pace to follow.

"Ow!" Lei Kedun, just as he rushed to the hospital's entrance, collided with a figure that suddenly darted out. He was knocked back two steps and fell flat on the ground.

The figure that collided with Lei Kedun also let out a startled cry, stepped back two steps, and steadied itself.

Looking up, Lei Kedun saw that the person he'd bumped into was a young woman in a classic Gothic‑style long dress, with red hair, red eyes, and pallid, almost bloodless skin; her features were exquisitely crafted like a finely made doll. At that moment she held up her dress with one hand to keep it from dragging, while the other hand massaged her temple.

Watching her massage her temple made Lei Kedun's own nose ache.

"Sss~" Lei Kedun, trying to rise from the ground, felt his rear hurt as soon as he moved, and he let out a breath.

"Hey! You're not trying to stage a scam, are you?" the girl opposite clearly heard Lei Kedun's earlier sound, stopped massaging her temple, and crossed her arms with an expression of impending anger.

"I didn't say 'hey'! And clearly I was the one who got hit harder. I'm not even angry yet, why are you angry?" Lei Kedun retorted, putting on a petty aristocratic tone.

From that collision, Lei Kedun realized the girl opposite was off—she was definitely not an ordinary person. The two of them colliding meant that this Sequence Eight extraordinary being had been knocked to the ground, even though neither the reader nor the secret‑watcher follows a path focused on physical enhancement.

Straightening his crooked glasses, Lei Kedun unceremoniously extended his left hand and said, "Pull me up! It hurts a bit."

"Hmph! If it hurts a little, just endure it! To make such an unreasonable request, you low‑class troublemaker," the red‑haired girl snapped, clearly irritated by Lei Kedun's attitude.

"Low‑class troublemaker? Are you some non‑human higher being?" Lei Kedun asked while carefully observing her reaction.

"Hmph! That, of course, is impossible." The red‑haired girl was not trapped by Lei Kedun's simple question.

Not getting the information he wanted, Lei Kedun was undeterred; with one hand on the ground and the other covering his nose, he rose from the floor.

"Sss~ really hurts,, "

"Hey! My nose seems to be bleeding from your collision; do you know where the hospital's doctors are? Take me to treat the wound," Lei Kedun felt a bit of fluid slipping from his hand that was covering his nose.

"I also didn't say 'hey'! And it was you who bumped into me!" the red‑haired girl corrected.

"Clearly I was the one who got hit harder, how could it be that I bumped you?" Lei Kedun rebutted.

"That's because you're weak!" the red‑haired girl said bluntly, then paused and looked at Lei Kedun's hand covering his nose, adding, "And right now I can't even fix your nosebleed; let it heal on its own. A little nosebleed won't matter."

"Isn't this a hospital?" Lei Kedun thought the girl was teasing him.

"What's a hospital to us? Earlier all the cotton swabs in the hospital were stolen by the thief." the red‑haired girl gritted her teeth.

"Uh." Lei Kedun was speechless: "Did the thief's house run out of cotton?"

The red‑haired girl did not answer, instead reaching out cautiously to tug Lei Kedun's sleeve, as if touching something dirty, then quickly withdrew her hand.

Turning to walk deeper into the hospital she said, "Come with me. You should be grateful the thief didn't also steal the faucet, so the blood you spilled can be washed away. Your nose has pretty much stopped bleeding."

"How did you know that?" Lei Kedun's hand covering his nose felt the flow of blood had already ceased.

"Why do you have so many questions?" the red‑haired girl asked impatiently.

"I saw you liked to talk, so I asked a few more." Lei Kedun shrugged, speaking in a slightly provocative tone.

The red‑haired girl was silent for a long while before saying, "This hospital does not treat mental patients."

(End of Chapter)