Chapter 345: The Human Cook Witch's Skillful Hands (Three-in-One)

"Ghost Willow?"

"It can run around everywhere..." Xu Yuan muttered to himself. This differed vastly from the "Hehuan Wood" mentioned in Miao Yu's intelligence.

"Who got it wrong?"

"Or are they all wrong?"

Bai Laoyan suddenly waved at Gao Guanzi: "Stop playing coy. Show off your skills for my lord to see."

Xu Yuan immediately grew curious; did Gao Guanzi have methods that could help him?

Gao Guanzi smiled proudly and said, "Does my lord want to know where that group has gone?"

He instinctively lifted his chin again, looking down on everything before him with contempt.

Bai Laoyan coughed repeatedly.

Gao Guanzi realized his mistake, quickly lowered his head, gave a dry laugh, and stopped playing coy: "I planted 'Ear Whiskers' on each of them. As long as they are within Ghost Wushan, I can hear all their movements."

He turned his head, displaying one ear to Lord Xu.

Xu Yuan observed closely and saw many silver-white, translucent whiskers growing out of his ear canal.

Each one trembled lightly, as if possessing its own will.

Xu Yuan praised, "Inconceivable. It is impossible to guard against."

Gao Guanzi swept the ground with his foot, clearing a flat patch, then used his finger to draw a rough map on the ground.

"This is Guanghuo Street." Gao Guanzi drew a curved line with his finger.

"This is Pig Scream Rock." He picked up a stone from the side and placed it there.

Then he plucked five grass seeds from the nearby bushes and dropped them in one spot: "They are here."

"Indeed, they are heading toward Pig Scream Rock."

Bai Laoyan stared at the location of the five people, touched his chin, and suddenly said, "Is this the territory of the Human Cook Witch?"

Gao Guanzi chuckled, "Exactly! They arrived yesterday, acting secretive and sneaky, peering down the mountain around our village. While trading, they indirectly asked our villagers for the location of Pig Scream Rock.

They did manage to figure out the route to Pig Scream Rock. However... whether that route is safe or not, hehehe, that remains to be seen."

Bai Laoyan also grinned, revealing a mouth full of yellow teeth: "People from outside the mountains always harbor suspicion toward us.

Yet they do not know that we mountain folk are the most honest. If you speak openly and pay a fair price, we guarantee to safely escort you to your destination. Is that not good?"

Xu Yuan asked, "Is the Human Cook Witch very dangerous?"

"Of course she is dangerous. The Human Cook Witch was nearly executed back in the day. Although she was driven out, she never accepted it, so she settled in the nearest location."

Xu Yuan said, "Follow them and take a look."

Gao Guanzi shivered: "My lord... are you really going?"

He looked at Bai Laoyan, implying: You should try to dissuade him. The Human Cook Witch is not someone to trifle with; even the two of us combined might not be able to defeat her.

Bai Laoyan fell silent for a moment, then stated truthfully, "My lord rescued Mr. Master Piaodang from Lady Spider yesterday."

Gao Guanzi's two ears twitched, and he immediately looked at Xu Yuan with new respect: "Lady Spider was Fu Daxiong yesterday, yet my lord... Then there is no problem. Let us set off immediately."

The three set off at once, with Gao Guanzi keeping his ears upright to receive the sounds transmitted by the 'Ear Whiskers'.

After walking for a while, Gao Guanzi said gleefully, "They haven't moved for quite some time. They must have been caught by the Human Cook Witch."

"Let us hurry," Xu Yuan said.

The three increased their speed, but not far on, Gao Guanzi suddenly reached out and grabbed the two: "Wait a moment."

Gao Guanzi stepped forward, listened carefully with his ear tilted, then gestured to the two to follow behind him.

Gao Guanzi climbed up the nearby slope quietly and carefully.

Reaching the ridge, the three hid behind a large tree and poked their heads out to look down:

Below the other side of the slope, a small river flowed quietly.

In the river, a long black shadow wriggled its way downstream.

The shadow moved leisurely, but wherever it passed, a chill of Yin energy drifted by.

The stones, plants, and grass on the ground were all affected, strangely transforming into patches of evil spirits!

The three waited until the shadow had gone far away. Most of the things that had strangely transformed along the path returned to normal, but about ten percent had completely turned into evil spirits, rustling into the vegetation and vanishing without a trace.

Gao Guanzi said, "That is a Yu."

Xu Yuan nodded.

Bai Laoyan explained, "The Yu in Ghost Wushan were originally river gods of various water systems.

The rivers they inhabited were occupied by the Grand Canal. When they themselves were killed and perished by the Dragon King of the Grand Canal, some residual souls and spirits drifted into the mountains, becoming the Yu in these waters.

These things are the hardest to deal with. They are mad and crazy, yet extremely powerful, especially when in the water, where they are particularly terrifying."

Xu Yuan nodded inwardly.

Such evil spirits are extremely common in the various 'Lands Beyond Transformation'.

For instance, in Ghost Wushan, the most representative figure is that 'Lord Ruan Tian'.

However, regarding such matters, no records exist in any of the archives of the Three Yamen of Strange Affairs.

If Xu Yuan were to start from a mere Investigator, guided by a 'Master', after three or five years, the Master might explain these matters one by one during daily case handling.

After the Yu passed, the three descended from the slope, crossed the small river, and continued toward the territory of the 'Human Cook Witch'.

With two mountain runners following, they bypassed the territories of all major evil spirits along the way.

The three spent only half an hour arriving at a place of clear mountains and flowing water.

The clear river, like a jade belt, wound around a riverside oasis.

The water gurgled, sounding like a group of children singing joyfully.

Both banks were covered with various wildflowers, colorful and bright.

A little further away was a lush green bamboo forest, rustling in the mountain breeze.

Half a li from the riverbank on the east shore, a row of stone houses rose against the mountain and beside the water.

The stone walls and rooftops were covered in sedge and moss, clearly having stood for many years.

On the side facing the small river, wooden panels had been opened; bamboo poles extended outward from the stone wall, holding up Bai Bu to shield against the harsh midday sun.

In front of the door stood a pole five zhang tall, hanging a cloth banner embroidered with three large characters:

Peng Sheng Xiang.

This place was a restaurant.

Sitting inside, one could enjoy fine food while admiring the scenery outside.

Yet something peculiar was that the dining area for guests consisted of only one room.

But the kitchen, where the cook prepared meals, occupied three rooms altogether.

Deng Linyue and his four companions sat around one table, trembling, sweat sliding down their temples.

Besides them, there were three other tables in the room, each occupied by a single guest.

One was a Mud Wraith, its entire body dripping with corpse oil.

It sat more than half a zhang tall, its body churning constantly, occasionally revealing a segment of human bone or corpse from within.

Another was a Insect Man, with many hands and legs, its body long and emaciated; each hand held a bloody eyeball the size of a human head.

Those eyeballs kept staring at Deng Linyue and his four companions!

The last was a Greedy Wolf Demon.

Its body was covered in dozens of pus-filled sores, its wolf fur largely shed, leaving only a few strands.

Yet it scratched its skin with its claws, and from time to time plucked out a louse from the sparse fur, bit it in its mouth—crack! —releasing a cluster of emerald ghost fire, within which one or two wraiths hid, which it then swallowed whole.

In the adjacent kitchen, a woman had a masculine face, taller than Deng Linyue by a full head, her body massive and stout, yet her eyebrows and eyes strangely small.

She was the only one in the entire kitchen, yet moved with calm efficiency, her hands swift as she stir-fried dishes in the wok, then swiftly divided each into four portions and carried them out, calling out loudly:

"Today's first course: Stir-Fried Human Liver!"

A dish, rich in color, aroma, and flavor, was placed before Deng Linyue and his four companions.

The five silently groaned.

Just moments ago, as they passed by, they had seen from afar this row of stone houses.

Who would live here in these mountains?

The Gao Family Village they had left this morning was the last village.

So the five had kept their heads down, hurried forward, dared not look, only wanting to get past quickly.

But unexpectedly, as they walked, they suddenly caught a tantalizing scent of meat!

Then their souls grew dazed, their minds lost, and they wandered dazedly into the house and sat down.

The female cook had joyfully cried out: "Honored guests have arrived! Prepare the feast!"

The five suddenly snapped awake—and saw: the three other tables were all malevolent spirits!

Deng Linyue was already a Rank Dan Xiu of the Sixth Stream, yet even he could not resist this trick—once he smelled the scent, he followed right in.

Deng Linyue's face changed; he tried to summon the fire in his dantian and launch his sword pellet—yet found the scent still lingered at the tip of his nose.

All his abilities lay dormant, as if asleep, offering no response.

He looked at his four companions: each face was pale with dread—clearly, they were all in the same state.

With the arrival of the "Stir-Fried Human Liver," the three malevolent spirits grabbed their chopsticks and devoured greedily.

Deng Linyue and his four companions remained motionless.

The female cook frowned in displeasure: "Why aren't the honored guests eating? Do you find my cooking unworthy?"

She stood in the kitchen, glaring at the five, holding a cleaver in her hand!

Deng Linyue gritted his teeth, picked up his chopsticks, grabbed a slice—closed his eyes, shoved it into his mouth, chewed not at all, and swallowed hard.

"How's the taste?" the female cook asked, smiling without warmth.

Deng Linyue could only answer: "Very good…"

"If it's good, eat more!" the female cook seemed delighted.

Yet the moment Deng Linyue uttered "very good," he inexplicably felt—truly—it was delicious!

Without control, his hand grabbed chopsticks again, swiftly snatching another slice and shoving it into his mouth—this time, he actually ate it!

Then came the second slice, the third…

The other four were suspicious, then noticed the female cook had not put down the cleaver, and still stared at them coldly.

They imitated Deng Linyue, forcing themselves to swallow a slice.

"How's the taste?"

"Very good…"

"If it's good, eat more!"

In mere moments, the five devoured the entire plate of "Stir-Fried Human Liver" clean!

"Hahaha!" the female cook laughed heartily: "Honored guests are truly generous! Since you've eaten my food, please settle the bill."

Deng Linyue quietly exhaled—he thought it was just money, no problem.

"How much for this dish, madam?"

"Not expensive—not expensive at all. Just one living human life!"

The five's faces turned ashen.

The female cook suddenly changed expression: "What? Do you gentlemen intend to default on your bill?"

Thwack!

The cleaver plunged deep into the cutting board.

Deng Linyue frantically urged his Fu Zhong Huo to ignite, yet the flame, clearly right there in the dantian beneath his belly, gave not the slightest response!

Deng Linyue could only grit his teeth and say, "I won't dodge the bill, good sir, just wait a moment..."

The female cook coldly said, "Why don't you gentlemen discuss whose life will pay the bill?"

The five men's gazes instantly changed.

In that instant, Deng Linyue and the other three all turned to look at the fifth man!

A few days ago, Deng Linyue learned of the Ghost Gui Gui Gui Gui Xu Mu's whereabouts and sought out his three friends, promising them generous rewards to hire their aid.

One of them happened to have a visitor—this fifth man.

So he was invited along too.

After all, Deng Linyue was paying real money.

Sixth-rank Dan Xiu earned well.

The fifth man cursed, "You're truly stupid..."

But it was too late—the female cook gave a strange smile: "Him? Good!"

She reached out, her arm stretching several zhang, seizing the fifth man by the neck and hauling him straight into the kitchen.

Like a fishmonger plucking a live fish from a water tank.

With her other hand, she drew the cleaver, flipped it, and slammed its thick back against the back of the fifth man's skull.

Pah!

The fifth man's eyes rolled back and he fainted.

The female cook pinned him to the cutting board, swapped for a boning knife, and swiftly opened his belly and chest...

"Gentlemen, please wait a moment," the female cook smiled eerily. "The second dish of today's feast—Stewed Human Head—is coming right up!"

Plop—

She chopped the freshly severed head in half, tossed it into a basin, and began marinating it with various seasonings.

Deng Linyue and the other three broke into cold sweats.

And all kept their heads down, not daring to look at their companions.

The man just now called them stupid—didn't they know it themselves?

We pushed out the fifth man this time—then who will be the fourth man for the next dish?!

But living a little longer is always better.

We thought we came to dine—yet now we've been placed on the table ourselves!

Suddenly, the female cook, focused on her cooking, lifted her head toward the entrance, then her face lit up with delight as she warmly called out: "Another esteemed guest arrives!"

"Quick, take your seat—the table just freed up a spot."

The female cook guided the newcomer and insisted he sit in the very seat just vacated.

Even though the other three tables had empty seats, she refused to let him sit there.

The newcomer was odd—he walked in broad daylight, yet carried a lantern.

As if also controlled by the meat's aroma, he entered silently, head bowed, obeying every instruction the female cook gave.

He ignored the monstrous horrors at the other three tables as if they weren't there.

Yet he didn't wait for her to invite him—he stuck his lantern onto the ceiling beam himself.

The female cook's eyes flickered with unusual interest.

But she did not interfere.

The meat's aroma was weak—he must sit down and eat the next dish quickly.

Otherwise, if he struggled free of the aroma's control, it would backfire.

The female cook's entire power lay in the word "cook."

Just like a normal restaurant owner—her scent might drift ten li, but it only drew guests in.

If guests arrived but never ate, no matter how tempting the scent, they'd simply leave.

So after "aroma," you must serve "dishes" to hold them.

Deng Linyue had been unable to activate his ability just now—if he'd held out a moment longer, he'd have broken free of the meat's control before being forced to eat that "Stir-Fried Human Liver."

But Deng Linyue didn't understand this.

After Xu Yuan sat down, the female cook hurried back to the kitchen to continue preparing the "Stewed Human Head."

Xu Yuan hadn't brought the two Mountain Runners with him.

Because the female cook knew them.

If they appeared, the female cook and the three strange beings here would strike immediately.

The four men at this table wouldn't survive.

But Xu Yuan still had questions for them.

The lantern and wine flask, Xu Yuan had brought out from the Nancheng Patrol Office.

After all, entering Ghost Wushan—even with his power greatly increased—Xu Yuan still felt that no amount of preparation was ever "sufficient."

Xu Yuan glanced at the female cook, then lowered his voice to ask Deng Linyue: "What is your name?"

At this moment, how could Deng Linyue have any interest in idle chat?

He was desperately trying to awaken his inner ability.

Yet somehow, as soon as he was asked, he spoke involuntarily: "I am Deng Linyue."

"Which sect? What level?"

"Dan Xiu, sixth-rank."

"What is your purpose in entering Ghost Wushan?"

"Go to Pig-Squeal Rock and find a Ghost-Needle Tree. The eye of that tree is a True Seed, which can help me advance to the Fifth Flow."

Deng Linyue felt something was wrong the more he spoke!

Such an important matter—how could I have laid it all out to a stranger in such a setting?!

But why can't I control my own mouth?

Xu Yuan silently nodded.

Whatever tree it is, it indeed has a True Seed.

"What is special about this Ghost-Needle Tree?"

Deng Linyue did not want to answer and tried hard to shut his mouth, yet he still involuntarily blurted out: "This tree embodies both Yin and Yang; its roots are Ghost Needles, and its trunk is a Yang Body.

The roots can be pulled directly from the soil and walk through the mountains, fast as a galloping horse.

The trunk bears tree eyes; one eye represents ten years of cultivation, and within the thirteenth eye, a True Seed will form.

But if another ten years pass and a fourteenth tree eye grows, this True Seed will be too old to use.

This tree does not naturally exist in Ghost Wushan; I heard it floated down from upstream along the river.

The Ghost-Needle Tree is extremely difficult to deal with; it can transform in a thousand ways, and once it blends into an ordinary Lin Zi, it becomes very hard to find.

Moreover, every tree eye grants it a chance to perform 'Golden Cicada Shedding its Shell'; even if captured, it will escape."

Xu Yuan asked again: "Then what preparations have you made to catch this tree?"

"I forged a spider web that can suppress its 'Golden Cicada Shedding its Shell,' but I still have no good method to distinguish its 'thousand transformations'."

Deng Linyue slapped himself hard several times until his face swelled, yet he still could not stop himself from answering every question truthfully!

Xu Yuan secretly smiled; if this fellow had not been captured by the Human-Cooking Hag, he would not have had such a suitable interrogation environment.

The Human-Cooking Hag looked at Xu Yuan suspiciously.

Since this fellow arrived, why has he been whispering nonstop to that person?

Why is that person slapping himself?

The Human-Cooking Hag drew her Bone-Cleaving Knife, entered the shop, and asked in an unfriendly tone: "What have you guests done?"

"You are a guest, but these few are also my guests!"

Xu Yuan retorted: "Which restaurant forbids guests from chatting? A cook should do a cook's job; focus on making your dishes!"

"..." The Human-Cooking Hag had no rebuttal.

What this fellow said made perfect sense.

She looked at Deng Linyue: "Does this guest need my help?"

Deng Linyue hesitated; although this person beside him was strange, he was at least a living human.

"No need."

The Human-Cooking Hag muttered and returned to continue cooking.

Xu Yuan thought for a moment and asked again: "If I save you and get you out, in exchange for the spider web you forged, is that acceptable?"

Deng Linyue's eyes darted around wildly.

He had already realized this person was problematic.

He must be carrying some artifact that forces him to answer every question and prevents him from lying.

When Deng Linyue heard Xu Yuan's question, his instinctive reaction was: agree first, then after escaping from this evil spirit's grasp, I will tell him that only I can control the spider web, I will help him catch the Ghost-Needle Tree, and then...

The moment the thought arose, he immediately stopped thinking further.

Instead, he deluded himself, thinking: Fine, as long as I can escape, I don't want the Ghost-Needle Tree, I don't want the True Seed...

But who can truly deceive themselves?

Those who repeatedly claim "self-deception" actually know the truth deep down.

The so-called "self-deception" is merely an unwillingness to admit it.

But with his antics, under the lantern's influence, his spoken answers became chaotic.

All sorts of disjointed words poured out of his mouth.

Several times, while speaking, he even bit his own tongue!

Xu Yuan sneered coldly; he knew this fellow was lying to him.

So he stopped asking, sat there as if suddenly sleepy, and let out a long yawn.

The Human-Cooking Hag, who was cooking, suddenly put down her cleaver, walked to a wine vat, and poured a pot of wine for everyone.

Then, with a smile that didn't reach her eyes, she poured a cup for every guest—including the three evil spirits: "This wine must also be paid for."

"I soaked it with thirty-two human whips; it is highly nourishing."

Those three evil spirits, of course, had no reservations and drank it in one gulp.

Then, drooling, they continued to stare at the five people at Deng Linyue's table.

Deng Linyue did not want to drink, but the Human-Cooking Hag stared at them fiercely.

Xu Yuan picked up his cup and drank first; Deng Linyue and the other four had no choice but to follow.

It felt... like there was nothing strange about the taste; it was just normal wine.

The Human-Cooking Hag placed the wine pot on their table and then returned to continue cooking.

"Dragon Spitting Mirage" could deceive Deng Linyue and the three evil spirits in the shop—they were all Sixth Flow.

But the Human-Cooking Hag sensed something, suddenly raised her head, and stared at Xu Yuan gloomily: "What have you done?!"

Xu Yuan grinned and said: "Drinking wine. Your shop has no sign forbidding guests from bringing their own fine wine. Cook, hurry up with the dishes; I can hardly wait.

Your exquisite dishes served with my fine wine will complement each other perfectly."

The Human-Cooking Hag was still somewhat suspicious, but her cooking speed increased.

She must make this fellow eat the first dish quickly!

Yet this "Dismantled Braised Human Head" was already a complex craft, and the Human-Cooking Hag was a malevolent spirit with her own standards for fine cuisine.

Even with the pace quickened, not a single necessary step could be omitted.

Just as the dish was about to leave the wok, a series of "thud, thud" sounds rang out one after another in the shop.

Those three malevolent spirits, along with Deng Linyue and the other four, all toppled over onto the ground.

Only the latest "honored guest" grinned at him and spat a mouthful of Xiong Xiong fire!

(End of Chapter)