Chapter 346: Pig Squeal Rock (Combined Three Parts)

Two veteran mountain guides accompanied Master Xu, thoroughly familiar with the Cook Witch’s various tricks.

For instance, the meat aroma drifting three li.

Gao Guanzi had caught two “insects” and stuffed them into Master Xu’s nostrils.

Thus, he would remain unaffected by the scent.

White Old Man again emphasized to Master Xu: the Cook Witch’s “rules” lie in the very character “kitchen.”

She runs a shop in the mountains; all who come are guests.

So she must observe certain restaurant customs.

The more strictly she follows these rules, the stronger her own power becomes.

Thus, Master Xu used excuses like “no restaurant allows guests to chat idly” and “your shop never forbade bringing your own wine” to placate the Cook Witch.

Master Xu directly spat out his “abdominal fire” at the Cook Witch because it was time to tear off the mask.

The dish served, he would not eat.

That would break the shop’s rule: you come to my shop, spend nothing, yet try to hawk your wine here?

Damn it!

So after learning everything about “Ghost Beard Wood,” Master Xu no longer hesitated—he instantly drugged all her guests and moved against the Cook Witch.

And there was another crucial point:

This was precisely the critical moment in the Cook Witch’s dish preparation.

It was about to be taken off the stove.

That meant if the ingredients stayed on the fire a moment longer, they would grow tough.

The dish would be ruined.

The Cook Witch flew into a rage: this guest had truly come to smash her shop!

I went to such trouble to cook a dish for them.

The ingredients were freshly slaughtered, incredibly fresh.

Yet he refuses to eat!

Worse still, he drugged all my other guests—now other malevolent spirits will think I run a black shop!

If this can be endured, what cannot?

The Cook Witch dropped the pot in her hands—but hesitated at the crucial moment.

She couldn’t bear to abandon such a delicious pot.

If she waited any longer, it would grow tough.

That instant of delay allowed the flames to surge violently into the kitchen.

Amid the flames, a tortoise shell flew back into Master Xu’s hand.

Master Xu glanced at the tortoise shell and cast the divination: Great Fortune Today!

The flames then engulfed the Cook Witch.

The Cook Witch was a fifth-rank malevolent spirit, among the weakest in her tier.

Yet she had already reached the threshold of “Upper Street.”

Even sixth-rank abdominal fire could inflict severe damage upon her.

The flames instantly burned away her clothing.

Revealing the true form hidden beneath the cook’s attire.

A fat, bloated black rat.

Immediately, all her fur was scorched off.

This “mistake” also owed much to the “Eight-Sided Harmful Star.”

The Cook Witch let out a shriek, forgot the pot of “Stewed Human Heads,” flipped it over entirely, and roared: “You think I have no fire?!”

She lifted the stove and hurled it at Master Xu.

Inside the stove were many burning coals; with a whoosh, they shot toward Master Xu like fiery meteors.

Of course, a cook can control fire.

Master Xu employed the body technique from the “Dragon Form Scripture,” twisting and dodging within the shop.

All the fiery meteors missed.

Yet the Cook Witch let out a piercing scream.

Hidden within the surging abdominal fire were three hairpins.

This set of fifth-rank craftsman artifacts pierced the Cook Witch’s chest in a “pin” formation.

The Cook Witch’s fat was thick; the damage was not severe.

But immediately, the silver bells on the three hairpins began to jingle.

Jingle-jangle…

The soul-tearing force drove the Cook Witch into a frenzy; she roared, grabbed the silver chains behind the hairpins, yanked them out, tore off a piece of flesh from the corpse nearby, wrapped it around the pins, and swallowed it whole.

“Cook Witch”—with human flesh, she can digest anything!

Anything at all!

But the silver bells’ effect left her dazed.

The flames still surged inward.

Under cover of the fire, the set of counting rods quietly landed in the kitchen.

They were planted densely into the floor, stove, and pillars.

The Cook Witch dodged the flames, stepped carelessly on one counting rod.

Her foot was instantly pierced.

“Squeak—”

She screamed again.

Master Xu knew the two mountain guides had told him the truth: this malevolent spirit’s strength lay not in its body.

The most suitable tool to execute the Cook Witch was, of course, the Tiger Head Guillotine.

But now was not the right moment to deploy this imperial relic…

Suddenly, Master Xu sensed something amiss.

A violent gust of hot wind struck from behind.

Master Xu stumbled forward in panic.

A burning coal, wreathed in blood flame, slammed into his back.

Instantly, his entire back burned with searing pain.

His clothes and a layer of skin were burned away!

Master Xu immediately wrapped himself in his Dantian skin.

This body’s defense now rivaled a wild boar’s tusks.

The coal meteor, after striking Master Xu’s back, kept flying and hit one of Deng Linyue’s companions.

The coal exploded directly into his body.

Blood flame erupted, and in moments, the man was reduced to ash.

Master Xu’s eyes darted…

The Cook Witch controlled all the burning coals, chasing Master Xu from all sides.

Master Xu unleashed his body technique again.

The technique resembled an eel or a spirit serpent—perfect for dodging chaotic projectiles.

As he dodged, he unknowingly found himself beside a malevolent spirit.

Then, timing it precisely, his upper body bent sharply sideways like a rope.

A burning coal whooshed past and struck the malevolent spirit’s body.

It was the Mud Spirit.

Blood flame erupted, instantly igniting the spirit’s entire body of corpse oil!

The Mud Spirit, writhing in agony, could not extinguish the flames; it shrieked and charged out, desperate to leap into the river.

The Cook Witch screamed: “You haven’t paid yet!”

The shop’s open door slammed shut—click, click, click—all automatically sealed.

The Mud Spirit crashed into it and bounced back.

The Cook Witch stepped forward to demand payment from the Mud Spirit—then stepped on another counting rod.

“Aaargh—” She screamed in pain.

The Cook Witch was utterly enraged, teeth grinding, roaring: “Once you enter my shop, you must pay to eat my food!”

Master Xu immediately sensed violent changes around him.

These changes originated from the Cook Witch—she had shattered her own “rules,” turning her shop into a “black shop”!

For the Cook Witch herself, this carried enormous long-term consequences.

But now, as a black shop, her power surged dramatically!

The ruined pot of “Stewed Human Heads” automatically sank into the soup basin and floated toward Master Xu.

Master Xu could no longer use his body technique.

It was suppressed by the black shop’s power.

As long as you’re still in this shop, you cannot escape this suppression.

If you truly eat this dish, you’ll fully fall under the rules of the Human Chef Granny—your life becomes payment to her.

Before the soup bowl arrived, the burning coals had already chased after and slammed toward him.

Xu Yuan was suppressed and couldn’t dodge—the coals struck his body one after another.

Boom! Boom! Boom!

Clusters of blood flames erupted.

Fortunately, the Pi Dan protected him—he could still endure the blood surge.

Inside his body, the Medicine Dan activated, rapidly healing Xu Yuan’s wounds.

But the Human Chef Granny immediately sensed a force resisting her black shop.

Xu Yuan pulled out the Dog Head Gold.

This is my stall.

But the “Merchant Law” was only sixth-tier—it barely held back the “Black Shop,” slowing the soup bowl slightly, yet it still drifted irresistibly toward Xu Yuan.

Xu Yuan also opened his mouth.

The soup bowl reached his face, poured into his mouth, and slid straight into his belly.

The Human Chef Granny rejoiced.

But Xu Yuan said: “This is truly a black shop—forcing sales! You want this life? Here it is.”

The Human Chef Granny reached out—her arm elongated, seized Xu Yuan’s neck, and yanked him close—but when she looked closer, it wasn’t Xu Yuan, it was Deng Linyue!

Xu Yuan used the Dog Head Gold to delay the Black Shop’s effect, then activated “Dragon Spits Mist,” placing Deng Linyue in front of himself.

The tortoise shell divination showed great fortune.

The “Eight Directions Injury Star” subtly activated.

This time, the Human Chef Granny failed to see through “Dragon Spits Mist.”

The Human Chef Granny flew into a rage, yet felt confused: How did this brat trick me?

Wounds across her body continuously oozed foul blood.

The Human Chef Granny began to feel a creeping weakness.

She also sensed something wrong: This level of injury shouldn’t make me feel weak so quickly…

But she had no time to find the answer.

The Human Chef Granny’s hand materialized a flesh-removing knife—she slashed a strip of meat from Deng Linyue’s body.

Then she offered it to Xu Yuan.

“Today’s feast, third dish: Fresh Human Slice.”

Her arm stretched longer and longer, straightening before Xu Yuan.

In the Black Shop, you must eat.

Once you eat, your life is mine to control.

I won’t waste time with you—I’ll just stab the knife straight into your mouth!

Deng Linyue took the slash, jolted awake by agony, but his throat was gripped—he couldn’t cry out.

The pain made his eyeballs bulge as if they’d pop.

Yet the next moment, his left eyeball actually popped out!

It was a Guidan .

While using “Dragon Spits Mist,” Xu Yuan also activated “Merchant Law,” trading this Guidan to buy his left eye.

This Guidan had been hidden inside Deng Linyue’s left eye socket.

Rotten Gui technique—activate!

Stare at the target for two finger-snaps, and it infects the body.

Four finger-snaps, and it infects the soul.

Two finger-snaps had already passed.

Five wounds on the Human Chef Granny rapidly rotted!

A seventh-tier Guidan struggles to inflict major damage on a fifth-tier anomaly.

But she was already injured—the Rotten Gui technique slipped in through the cracks.

Four finger-snaps passed—the Human Chef Granny’s soul began to show minor rot, spreading relentlessly!

The three hairpins’ silver bells had already damaged her soul.

Again, exploiting weakness!

And under the effect of “Ghost Doctor Steals Life,” damage to both body and soul intensified further.

The Human Chef Granny’s bloated body swayed.

She felt more and more wrong.

Why am I so weak?

How could I be so easily tricked by a Gui technique?

She looked down and saw the Guidan —furious: So it was you all along!

The Human Chef Granny squeezed harder—snapped Deng Linyue’s neck.

From Deng Linyue’s sleeve, a thin rope suddenly shot out.

Whoosh—it wrapped around the Human Chef Granny.

The Beast Sinew Rope thinned to hair’s width, coiling tighter and tighter, sinking deep into her flesh!

Then, from her other sleeve, three swords flew out.

Each pierced one of the three wounds made earlier by the hairpins!

Deng Linyue had eaten two dishes—his life was already in the Human Chef Granny’s hands.

Having taken him, she let her guard down.

Xu Yuan had hidden all his killing moves on Deng Linyue’s person.

The Dragon-Slaying Sword didn’t counter the Human Chef Granny, and the sword pellet was only sixth-tier.

But the wounds had already been opened by the three hairpins.

And the Rotten Gui technique had exploited them.

These three swords slipped in easily.

The hairpins were short—the wounds they made weren’t fatal to the Human Chef Granny.

But now, with these three swords piercing in, the effect was vastly different.

Squeee—

The Human Chef Granny shrieked in agony, her whiskers trembling violently.

But the hand holding the knife had already reached Xu Yuan’s face!

Xu Yuan had to open his mouth—if he did, the knife would stab in!

Xu Yuan had already pulled out his begging bowl.

The “Lotus Fall” chant began.

Please, kind sir, give me something to eat!

What Xu Yuan begged for was precisely the “Fresh Human Slice” on the knife’s tip!

Even if he could beg for the flesh-removing knife itself, it would do.

Tortoise shell divination: today’s fortune is great—let this great heart’s wish come true!

The Human Chef Granny endured her wounds, still extending the knife toward Xu Yuan.

Because once it reached his mouth, everything would end.

This unknown brat had forced her to this point—how infuriating!

But he still underestimated the great evil of Ghost Witch Mountain!

Instantly, dozens of recipes flashed through the Human Chef Granny’s mind.

Kill this brat—I’ll savor his flesh and blood thoroughly, not a single scrap wasted.

Suddenly, the “Fresh Human Slice” on the knife’s tip vanished.

The Human Chef Granny froze—its disappearance was inexplicable; she didn’t even understand how.

The “Fresh Human Slice” had fallen into the other’s hand—into that broken bowl!

Xu Yuan looked down and smiled.

Today’s fortune was truly great—my wish came true!

The Human Chef Granny roared in fury and thrust the knife forward—

Xu Yuan released his carriage to block in front of him.

Hiss!

The carriage was pierced through!

Xu Yuan broke into cold sweat.

Good thing he hadn’t relied on the Pi Dan to block this blow.

The Pi Dan’s defense was roughly equal to a wild boar’s tusk.

But the Human Chef Granny’s knife was surely razor-sharp!

Her flesh wasn’t particularly tough—yet she held firm at fifth-tier; her offensive power must be devastating.

Xu Yuan felt the timing was right, tucked away his begging bowl, and shouted loudly as he unleashed the Tiger-Head Guillotine.

“Lower the blade—”

The blade’s gleaming edge rose upward.

Now was the perfect moment to use this imperial Zhenwu .

Simply releasing the guillotine did not guarantee the destruction of the malevolent spirit.

The Woman Chef was too powerful.

She had the ability to prevent Xu Yuan from ever raising the blade.

Even if he raised it, she could resist the heavenly and earthly forces binding her for a long time.

If Xu Yuan held the blade aloft too long, he would collapse under the strain.

That would be worse—she would seize the chance to kill him.

Thus, whenever the Three Courts of the Strange Affairs handled the guillotine, they operated as a team.

One person served as the main force to lift the blade, while others attacked the malevolent spirit, cooperating with the heavenly and earthly forces to pin it beneath the blade.

Xu Yuan, alone, needed a way to exhaust the Woman Chef.

He had to weaken her severely enough that she could not interfere with his blade-lifting, nor resist the heavenly and earthly forces with much strength.

The Woman Chef was startled.

She had never imagined this wild boy carried the Tiger-Head Guillotine!

She swallowed Deng Linyue whole, then reached for the others.

The more people she devoured, the faster she recovered.

But it was too late.

The three swords still embedded in her chest were drilling deeper!

All the counting rods flew up and pierced her body.

Heavenly and earthly forces seized her, pinning her beneath the guillotine.

Xu Yuan pulled down with all his strength.

Crack—

A massive, fat rat’s head was severed.

Instantly, a chorus of ghostly wails and wolf-like howls erupted outside!

The river, the grass, the bamboo groves—all erupted in a rushing, splashing din.

Countless water rats, earth rats, and bamboo rats burst forth from every direction.

Black, gray, and brown rats covered the ground in dense, unbroken waves, sending chills down anyone’s spine.

They shrieked and wailed, rushing toward the restaurant.

These were all the offspring and descendants of the Woman Chef.

The restaurant had been sealed by the Woman Chef; these rats ranged from the size of wild rabbits to wild boars.

They slammed repeatedly against the outer walls and doors.

Without the Woman Chef’s control, the windows and doors soon shattered.

The rats’ eyes glowed blood-red, drool streaming from their mouths.

Xu Yuan spat out a blast of inner fire.

The rats shrieked in agony as they burned.

Yet even as their bodies caught fire, they stubbornly surged forward, writhing onto the Woman Chef’s corpse to begin gnawing!

Xu Yuan understood at once.

By consuming the Woman Chef’s flesh, they could transform into great malevolent spirits.

But they had barely bitten a few times before the inner fire turned them to ash.

The fire also ignited the Woman Chef’s corpse.

“Whoosh—”

“Whoosh—”

“Whoosh—”

Xu Yuan spat fire several more times; the sixth-rank flames were unstoppable against the rats, and soon they were reduced to piles of ash.

After a brief rest, Xu Yuan sent out his sword pellets to slay the other two still-unconscious malevolent spirits.

He retrieved all his crafts, external elixirs, and other items.

Then he grabbed Deng Linyue’s two companions, flashed out of the restaurant, and spat one final blast of fire inside.

The restaurant had already been burning; now it roared fiercely.

From within, a strange, squeaking noise echoed.

Certain objects in the kitchen, long used by the Woman Chef, had also become malevolent spirits—this fire cleansed them all.

Bai Lao and Gao Guanzi, upon seeing the rats burst forth, immediately rushed over from afar.

They happened to meet Xu Yuan as he stepped out.

Xu Yuan glanced behind them: “Where’s Dafu?”

Dafu had not followed.

The sea of giant rats had terrified him.

He was cowering in the grass, too afraid to emerge.

So many giant rats—I couldn’t possibly eat them all.

Too dangerous… too dangerous…

Gao Guanzi bowed to Xu Yuan: “My lord, I must offend you, but the worms in your nostrils must be removed quickly.”

Xu Yuan tilted his head back: “Go ahead.”

Gao Guanzi took out a small tool, like a pair of fishhooks.

In his other hand, he held a small vial of medicinal powder.

He inserted the tool into the nostril and slowly pulled the two worms outward.

Usually, by this point, the worms had fused with the nasal passages and resisted extraction fiercely.

It was said that if they remained in the nostrils for more than a day, forcibly pulling them out would drag out the entire brain with them!

If they refused to come out, the medicinal powder would be needed.

This substance was extremely difficult to prepare; Gao Guanzi normally would never waste it on ordinary people.

The worms in the lord’s nose had been there nearly an hour—he assumed they’d be stubborn… Gao Guanzi prepared the powder, then gave a gentle tug—and the two worms slid out obediently.

They were strange creatures resembling loofah fibers, each half the length of a pinky finger.

Once pulled out, they fell to the ground and wriggled desperately toward the grass.

As if fleeing.

Gao Guanzi stared in shock.

Xu Yuan asked: “What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing,” Gao Guanzi dared not ask or say anything.

Xu Yuan knew perfectly well—it was the effect of “Boundless Taboo.”

…

The roaring flames consumed the shop entirely.

The cloth banner hanging outside, “Cooked Life Aroma,” turned to ash.

The stone walls collapsed with a thunderous crash.

The fire burned for a full hour before finally dying out.

Xu Yuan entered the ruins and retrieved the three hairpins the Woman Chef had swallowed.

But this craft had been heavily corrupted.

It was already partially uncontrollable.

As he held them, he felt them squirming incessantly.

Their texture no longer felt like metal, but like a slimy, nauseating slickness.

As if he were gripping a leech.

They needed to be refined quickly.

Then Xu Yuan searched further and found four good materials.

A blood-red wolf’s fang.

A worm’s limb, as long as an arm.

A lump of pitch-black oily mud.

Lastly, a pale white bone.

The first three were sixth-rank; the fourth was fifth-rank.

Xu Yuan happily stowed them in his stink-pouch.

Especially the last bone—he could feel immense power contained within it as he held it.

The Woman Chef possessed many potent strange arts.

He eagerly wondered how many of them had condensed into this material.

Xu Yuan searched the ruins a while longer, and finally found Deng Linyue’s spiderweb.

Deng Linyue’s sword pellet and some external elixirs as well.

Set the rest aside for later; this spiderweb he held in his hand.

Bai Lao’s eyes kicked the two unconscious men and asked, “What do we do with them?”

“Wake them up, I’ll ask them again.”

The two men were revived, still trembling with shock.

Xu Yuan expanded the carriage into a room.

Then he stuck the lantern outside and dragged the two inside for questioning.

Naturally, they answered everything they knew.

But they knew little—only that Deng Linyue was from Shunhua City and a well-known alchemist there.

He had close ties with many in the Shanhe Office of Shunhua City.

Xu Yuan handed the two over to Gao Wanli: “Take them back to the village. I’ll decide what to do when I return.”

“Alright.” Gao Wanli thought this solution was poor.

He was a man of the mountains—he never hesitated to strike.

But Master Xu was an official; he couldn’t act as recklessly as they did. He could understand that.

Gao Wanli led the men away.

He had his own plans.

Some things Master Xu couldn’t do himself—I’ll do them for him.

Not far west from here lies another great evil.

It was an old customer of the Witch Cook.

These two great evils stayed so close because one knew how to deal with people, and the other loved to eat.

Gao Wanli didn’t lift a hand himself—he simply failed to warn the two when they entered the great evil’s territory.

They walked in—and never came out.

Gao Wanli turned and left; his ears twitched, and he clearly heard Da Fu’s footsteps.

That “ba-ba-ba” sound was unmistakable.

Gao Wanli caught up with him in no time.

“Master…” Gao Wanli looked ashamed: “I’ve failed your trust—I let them slip away, and the evils devoured them.”

Xu Yuan glanced at him, asking no further questions.

“Forget it. Let’s go.”

More than an hour later, they reached the hilltop opposite Pig Squeal Rock.

This massive rock stood over a hundred zhang tall, its shape bizarre, with four enormous holes on its surface.

It was called Pig Squeal Rock not because it looked like a pig, but because wind blowing through those four holes emitted a shrill, pig-slaughtering wail.

From here, one could clearly see everything below.

Indeed, there were no trees.

From top to bottom, and for five li around, Pig Squeal Rock was utterly barren.

Not even a blade of grass grew there.

“Strange…” Xu Yuan muttered inwardly.

He thought for a moment, pulled out his folding tablet, wrote a line, and summoned the Dragon to meet him at Pig Squeal Rock.

After writing, he waited a moment—no response came—so he tucked it away in his robe.

“Is there anywhere nearby to spend the night?” Xu Yuan asked the two veteran mountain guides.

Bai Lao’s eyes was about to answer when Gao Wanli suddenly paled and raised a hand to signal silence.

Bai Lao’s eyes and Xu Yuan fell quiet.

Gao Wanli strained his ears, listening intently.

He immediately dragged the two up into a thick, towering tree.

“Someone’s coming!”

“The noise from Pig Squeal Rock is loud—I only heard them when they were two li away.”

The three sat motionless in the tree, stifling their breath.

Not long after, four figures appeared, each carrying a bamboo basket, moving swiftly and lightly. They passed beneath the tree without pause, heading straight for Pig Squeal Rock.

At the rock’s base, they set down their baskets and carefully removed something from inside.

(End of Chapter)