Chapter 42: Good Child

In the past, Xia Liang always remembered one sentence in her heart: only good children are loved.

It originated from her early childhood, when her parents were still loving and life was still very happy; it was what her mother said to her: "Is our little puppy a good girl? Only good children are loved, and Mommy likes good children too."

"Little puppy" was her nickname at that time, because she liked to bite people whenever she got angry, so whenever she opened her mouth to do so, her parents would laugh and say, "The little puppy is biting people again."

Xia Liang felt she was not a puppy, and that she could be very good. From then on, she rarely bit people when she was angry.

She became a good child in the eyes of her parents, relatives, and friends.

At home, she was well-behaved and knew how to act spoiled, her sweet smile making her parents dote on her; in social settings, she was sensible and poised, and relatives and elders always praised her; at school, she was obedient and diligent, an example the teacher told her classmates to follow.

The more she strove to become well-behaved and sensible, the more happy and fulfilling her life became, and Xia Liang gradually grew accustomed to this. However, everything changed years later.

She did not know if the cause was what her father called "finding another job" or what her mother called "being cheated out of a large sum of money," but in any case, it seemed that from then on, she rarely saw smiles on her parents' faces.

Her father would always be gloomy when he came home, and her mother would always be sighing, and the frequency of their anger also increased.

Whenever this happened, Xia Liang would step forward, trying to make them happy and make them show a smile.

This method was somewhat useful at first; when Xia Liang showed a well-behaved and cute appearance, her parents would always force themselves to cheer up and laugh along with her. But later, as time went on, no matter how hard Xia Liang tried, it was of no use.

She felt very strange; was it because she was not good enough that she couldn't make her parents happy?

Later one day, she discovered that her mother began taking money out of the house.

Her mother said she could earn money, but apart from the first few times she was able to bring money back, the money taken out later never returned.

Her father began to come home less and less, and even when he did, it was only to argue with her mother; he would loudly curse her mother for "gambling away the family fortune," while her mother would accuse him of "being unemployed and having an affair."

At that time, Xia Liang was still ignorant of these terms; she knew that gambling and affairs were bad things, but she never thought they would happen in her own home.

She gathered her courage and decided for the first time not to be a good child, because she decided to oppose her parents; she wanted to persuade them not to argue, as constant arguing would make their relationship bad.

But this attempt failed; her parents ignored her and just scolded her to "go away."

So Xia Liang became a good child again. No matter how much her parents argued, she no longer tried to stop them; she just kept showing them her smile.

She continued to study hard at school and brought many certificates of merit home, hoping her good performance would make her parents a little happier. But these certificates were eventually treated like waste paper and thrown casually on the table.

One day, as her parents' argument escalated into a physical fight, the certificates were soaked by spilled boiling water, and the handwriting on them could no longer be seen.

Later on, her father began to hit her mother, and then they argued about getting a divorce.

He said he had enough of a woman like her mother, that he had a new love, and that he was going to choose his own happiness.

Her mother was undoubtedly in disagreement, because she had not yet proven that she was the backbone of this family, she had not yet earned back the money that was temporarily lost, and she believed that her father was equally responsible for this.

Things in the house were sold off, and the disputes between her parents became more and more intense; Xia Liang could only hide behind the crack in the door watching them argue, then go back to continue doing her homework.

—She had to be a good child, because only good children are liked.

Later still, one night, she heard her father roaring.

He said: "Why did you touch my private money? I'm going to beat you to death, you bitch!"

Her mother was also screaming, saying: "If you have the ability, try it!"

Then, they really did it. With dull thuds, roars, and screams, when Xia Liang cautiously looked out from the door, she could only see her mother standing there holding a knife, covered in blood, with her father lying at her feet, never to move again.

"Come here."

This was the first sentence her mother said after seeing Xia Liang.

Xia Liang felt afraid. Because when her mother said this, her voice had no warmth at all, and the knife in her hand was gripped tightly.

But she was a good child, and her mother liked good children, so she had to be obedient.

She walked over.

Her mother stabbed her with the knife.

The feeling was very painful and very hard to bear, but Xia Liang still kept in mind that she had to be a good child, so although she cried out in pain, she held back and did not weep.

The police who broke in took her mother away, and also took the nearly murdered Xia Liang.

In the end, looking at her mother being taken away, she struggled and showed her mother the same fawning smile she had always worn.

—"Stop smiling so stupidly."

Her mother said this: "It's truly disgusting."

At that moment, it was as if something had shattered in Xia Liang's heart, leaving only a pitch-black, bottomless void.

Just like that, she lost her parents.

No relatives were willing to raise her; she didn't know when it started, but the relatives who used to visit her home often no longer associated with this family.

Xia Liang became a child that no one wanted.

She was unwilling to leave home, but no one was willing to raise her, so she lived alone in this house, relying on subsidies from the city government to survive.

At school, the classmates who already disliked and ostracized her because she was "someone else's good child" learned the rumors from somewhere. They shouted that her mother was a murderer, and even turned this into a nursery rhyme, singing it whenever they saw Xia Liang.

The school teachers were also powerless against this; even if they scolded the children in class, they could not control their private behavior. It was not until the end of elementary school, on the day the children graduated, that he said to Xia Liang in a tone of frustration:

"They are like this, why can you, a silly child, still smile?"

Why could she still smile? Xia Liang herself did not know the answer to this question.

Or rather, was she still smiling?

Even though there was no longer anyone to show her smile to, and no matter how much she acted well-behaved it was meaningless, she still did it subconsciously.

Just like that, after entering middle school, because of the rumors from elementary school, no one was still willing to be her friend.

No matter how Xia Liang fawned or how she tried to please, everyone would only avoid her in fear.

The only ones willing to accept her were the "bad girls" and "delinquents" as others called them. They thought that Xia Liang's mother killing someone and going to prison sounded cool.

"But you look too tacky."

That was how they evaluated her: "Want to join us? First, give yourself a makeover, okay?"

So Xia Liang learned to wear makeup.

If dressing up well would make them accept her, she would dress up; if being frivolous in speech and behavior fit their concepts, she would imitate it; if money was needed to make them look at her, she would give it to them.

She wanted to be accepted, wanted to receive care, wanted to hear comfort, wanted intimate relationships with people, wanted "love."

The void in her heart could not be filled; like a dying person clutching at straws, she followed closely in the footsteps of these "friends," only asking that they look back at her once.

Until she walked to the edge of the mire, watching her friends standing in it and waving at her.

She began to want to refuse, to want to step back, but she was already firmly trapped; some unknown force was pushing her, wanting to push her into it.

There was no way back.

Just as she had given up and decided to calmly accept that future, another force firmly pulled her from behind.

Then, someone grabbed her wrist and brought her from the boundless darkness into the azure sky.

That beautiful blue was the color of the sky, as clear as the pair of eyes opposite her.

She asked herself this:

"Do you want to be a magical girl?"