Chapter 37: One Hundred Thirteen Liu Guozong Reveals the Secret History of Dream of the Red Chamber Part One

One Hundred Thirteen Liu Guozong Reveals the Secret History of Dream of the Red Chamber Part One

Liu Guozong Reveals the Secret History of Dream of the Red Chamber

Liu Guozong

(One), Xiaoxiaosheng put Pan Jinlian in a bottle--

Last time I said I've always been selling "plain goods," but those things wouldn't sell, no one bought them. No one wanted them, no one bought them, so I might as well throw them away as trash. Now I've racked my brains to "dig out some fishy goods" from Cao Xueqin for you friends, to change the flavor.

Originally I wanted to dig from Lanling Xiaoxiaosheng, I looked at it for a long time. Now his "goods," the "flirtatiousness" is too strong, even some have gone moldy; this must be because he put his "goods" in a "golden bottle," otherwise how would those good "goods" just go moldy (plum)? I was so angry I didn't eat for half a night.

This old thing, he's got a big age on him, doing things still neither human nor ghost. Going out to mix for a few years, he mixed skillfully. After mixing and getting money, he started acting up (forgive my improper wording. The popular saying is: men with money turn bad, bad men, they keep mistresses, they visit prostitutes; women with money act up. Upstarts, they cause trouble, they divorce.), he actually put the "pretty little girl" Pan Jinlian he secretly loved in a "bottle," "keeping her as a mistress." This didn't suffocate her to death. Giving me such "goods," I wouldn't want them either.

(Two), Getting ash in the nose from someone named Liu Shuwu--

Later I found through connections a person called Liu Shuwu, heard he had close ties with the Cao family, wanted to ask him for pointers, to talk about feelings, to let him give me some of Cao Xueqin's house's "flirtatious goods." Who knew this person Liu Shuwu, he's a big shot, very famous. Since he was rated as a "model homeroom teacher," people coming to ask him for lectures have been many, and his papers are also valuable. This person fears fame, as the saying goes: "People fear fame, pigs fear getting fat." Once this person becomes famous, just like that "Old Chen" I told my friends about last time, he doesn't recognize his six closest relatives.

I originally thought Liu Shuwu was my "senior in the field," I'd make a long trip, this small favor, couldn't he give it? Who knew I got "ash in the nose" from him, I came away.

(Three), If this person doesn't leave, "even farting hits his heels, drinking cold water gets stuck in his teeth"--

On the ancient road in the west wind, I, hungry and thirsty from walking, leaned on the dry vine at the foot of the old tree on the hillside to rest.

The autumn wind blew bleakly, falling leaves fluttering. At this moment it was exactly the deep autumn of azure clouds overhead and yellow leaves underfoot. Leaning on the bitter vine at the old tree roots, gazing at the small bridge flowing water and homes below the mountain break, thinking of myself "wearied by dust and toil, accomplishing nothing," I couldn't help but secretly shed tears.

As I sighed over my own wretched, useless life, a crow on the old tree let out a startled cry. I looked up, and from under the crow's tail a lump of black, muddy stuff was thrown out, neither biased nor off-target, it hit squarely on my forehead.

I touched it with my hand, sticky and gooey. Disgusting--a lump of crow dung!

Only then was it truly "even drinking cold water gets stuck in your teeth when you don't leave, even farting hits your heels." The world abandons me, even the bears and birds in this deep mountain wilderness come to bully me.

(Four), May the Old Can't Come Also, I Want Willow Dark Flower Bright?

"Who's bullying you?" With the words, a man in his thirties or forties stood before me.

The man startled me. I lifted my head to look at the man standing before me, face full of travel dust, eyes kind, no malice. Only then did I put the heart I'd just lifted to my throat back into my belly.

"I am Old Can't, a person from Jiangnan, surname Liu, name Tie, because I'm old and greedy, people all call me 'Old Greedy,' someone heard it wrong and heard 'Old Greedy' as 'Old Can't.' Anyway, 'Old Greedy' and 'Old Can't' are the same, both worth nothing.

"Back in the day, I Old Can't also studied for several years..."

"People who are a bit older, when they open their mouths, it's always 'back in the day'." I interjected.

"What, you don't agree? Is that it?" Old Can't laughed.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" I repeatedly apologized: "You old chap, keep going."

"Back in the day, I Old Can't also studied for several years, wrote a few crooked poems and strained prose, no one looked, no one read. Because usually I spouted 'what, how, why, also' nonsense, people around me had enough, grew tired of it. Going out to work, the boss again disliked my age, no one wanted me; business buying and selling had no capital, farming had no money to buy fertilizer. This good person was pissed to death by holding it in.

"Fortunately, since childhood I followed my cousin to study medicine for a few days, I know a few little single prescriptions. So I came out to sell wild medicine, muddling through, making a living, wandering about. Evidently I've been away from home for over twenty years. Still a lonely traveler on the roads. And you? How come you're alone, leaning on the old tree's dead vine in the wilderness?"

"Me, if I don't bring it up, it's fine, but once I do, two eyes full of tears..."

Under Old Can't's questioning, I briefly explained my own background to Old Can't.

Old Can't, hearing my background, exclaimed in surprise: "We 'are both fallen people at the ends of the earth,' then let us become sworn brothers."

Just like that, under the old tree on the hillside, I and Old Can't became sworn brothers.

(Five), Originally Cao Xueqin's Red-Faced Confidante, or Still Old Can't's Paternal Aunt--

Old Can't said: "Younger brother, you just weren't that Liu Shuwu person, weren't ignoring you? What generation is he? Cao Xueqin is still a sworn brother, and also my brother-in-law. That red-faced confidante of Cao the Elder, Fang Yuzhai, is my paternal uncle's eldest elder sister. Cao the Elder's matchmaker was me saying so.

I've played with Fang Yuzhai since childhood, childhood sweethearts. Later Snowqin saw it was good, his learning was better than mine, his tricks better than mine, and after not seeing Fang Yuzhai a few times, he just "took" her. I am the kind of person who would dare to stab for a friend's two ribs, so I let Fang Yuzhai go to Cao the Elder.

(Six), Old Can't said, when Gao E continued writing Dream of the Red Chamber the last forty chapters, that was the material he provided, he blew like this, believe it or not--

"From then on Cao the Elder trusted me even more, the two of us got along just like one person. Thinking back then..."

"I say Elder Brother, why are you again saying 'back in the day'?" I laughed.

"You don't understand, back then Gao E was just like you, at the end of his rope, came to me wanting to buy some 'goods' from Old Cao to sell. Old Gao E took many twists and turns to find Cao the Elder, but Cao the Elder was already dead. I very sympathized with Little Gao's situation, so I told my female cousin, take the material for those last forty chapters, knock some out for him Little Gao to try, look at his poor, pitiful bear-like appearance."

(Seven), Old Can't, you also knock some out for me to try--

"Elder Brother, you're not pointing at mulberry trees while cursing locust trees, are you? You say I'm poor and pitiful? Well, Cao the Elder counts as you being able. As long as you tell me things in 'Dream of the Red Chamber' that Cao the Elder hasn't written yet, I'll gladly bow down, however!"

"Well then, I'll tell you the secret history of Cao's family's amorous affairs, you must not tell outsiders--

Friends, guess what the first secret Old Can't tells Cao Xueqin is? He actually said the first pretty girl Jia Baoyu "soaked" was his niece's wife--

If you want to know how Baoyu soaked his niece's wife, please see the following--

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