Chapter 455: Michael's nose and Pitt's chin

"As everyone knows, I fed a group of people who couldn't eat by themselves with pizza at the Oscars last year..."

"Hahahahahaha—"

In the laughter one after another at the opening, Chen Nuo continued to say with a full smile:

"This year the Oscar people came to find me again, saying—'Chen, please, please, you still host the Oscars, otherwise they will starve to death. Last year we knew that they would be hungry if they didn't eat.'"

"Hahahahahaha!"

"I said, 'Sorry,'" Chen Nuo shrugged and said: "Staying with those giant babies again, I think I will die before them. No, this year I just want to find a place and have a drink by myself."

"Hahahahaha."

"I came here."

"I thought so, although you... well, it seems that it is not much better. Especially this side."

He pointed to those people at the movie table in the middle, where there are Woody Allen, George Clooney, Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio, as well as many Hollywood actresses dressed in finery. This is also the area that TV camera lenses frequently care about. On the other side of the TV circle table, there are much fewer.

In the laughter, he continued: "However, at least here, I don't need to feed you food and drink. I just need to drink two glasses of wine, go crazy with alcohol, and make you laugh."

"And as everyone knows, this is not difficult."

"Because after you fill those messy things into your face, you can basically only make one expression. That is laughing. Right?"

"Hahahahahaha!!"

Hilton International Banquet Hall, this golden, rich and magnificent hall erupted in uproarious laughter.

Chen Nuo's eyes swept over the actresses and female stars in gorgeous clothes under the stage without moving.

Glenn Close of *Albert Nobbs*, Viola Davis of *The Help*, and Meryl Streep of *The Iron Lady* nominated for Best Actress in a Drama.

Kristen Wiig of *Bridesmaids*, Michelle Williams of *My Week with Marilyn*, as well as Charlize Theron and Kate Winslet nominated for Best Actress in a Musical/Comedy,

And on the TV side, Claire Danes of *Homeland*, Julianna Margulies of *The Good Wife*, Michelle Dockery of *Downton Abbey*, etc., nominated for Best Actress in a Drama Series

They sat around the table, each dressed brilliantly, with smiles on their faces.

Then he shrugged, made an expression of "sure enough", and said: "Look at your appearance now, wow, it seems that my news is really not wrong, you really only have this expression. Li Liang, Li Liang where are you?"

The big screen showed Leonardo DiCaprio's helpless expression.

Didn't speak yet.

The laughter that had subsided slightly became loud again.

Chen Nuo looked back and nodded, saying: "Thank you for the information, Leo. Facts have proved that your understanding of Hollywood actresses makes the real FBI *J. Edgar* pale in comparison. Remember to tell me next time, other than the face, what is fake in other places, you understand what I am talking about."

After he finished speaking, he looked down.

"Hahahahahaha."

Originally, in the eyes of the screenwriter team, this opening joke was risky. Attacking the female group one after another easily leads to cold fields. You know, Hollywood actresses are not a generous group.

However, in Chen Nuo's eyes at this time, the reaction of the women at the scene was surprisingly good.

It seems that there is no glass heart, no cold face, and the smile is very natural... It seems that the armor of feminism worn on him can still withstand this kind of group attack.

The opening is good.

Chen Nuo's heart also settled down.

Then, it seems there is no need to think east and west, it is time to come to the real thing.

In the hospital room in Toronto, the bald girl wiped away the tears that had just laughed out of the corner of her eyes, and asked curiously: "Miss Zhang, is what Chen said true? Did they all have plastic surgery?"

Before the Chinese nurse on the side could speak, a white fat aunt chattered and said: "That's right, my little Zoe, these Hollywood stars are not good women, you shouldn't be like them in the future."

Miss Zhang glared at the aunt and said: "Don't listen to her, Zoe, this is just a joke. Forget what your mom said on the phone before? These are all jokes opened tonight, just Chen's jokes. Don't take it seriously."

The girl blinked and said: "I know."

"Ladies and gentlemen, actually as an actor, I fully understand you..."

"Don't laugh, Ryan Gosling, I include you. From my angle, your nose is not normal as it was in *The Ides of March*. And we all know that generally speaking, the nose and chest are the disaster areas of Hollywood stars. You'd better honestly explain what you have been doing for the past six months after filming."

"Hahahahahaha!"

On the big screen, Ryan Gosling, who was nominated for Best Actor in a Drama Movie with *The Ides of March*, looked embarrassed. Looking at his appearance, the laughter of the people around him became louder, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt sitting beside him covered his face with laughter.

Chen Nuo turned his head and continued with a smile: "I understand you, because when a person's face and body are magnified ten times or a hundred times and appear on the big screen, all kinds of flaws will be magnified accordingly."

"We all have to face our own problems. Nose, eyes, eyebrows, ears, where is there a perfect person? In this way, we are becoming less and less able to face ourselves in reality."

"Ten years ago, plastic surgery was originally a secret thing."

"Whether in China or the United States, after everyone finished the surgery, they would point a gun at the plastic surgeon, you dare to say it, I will shoot you to death. Of course, we don't have guns in China, we just pretend to have guns. Unlike you, I know many of you have shot people."

"Hahahahahaha."

"At that time, the only person in the world known to have plastic surgery was one." Chen Nuo smiled and said naturally: "Michael Jackson."

He said it naturally, but when this name was played on the audio, the whole scene was in an uproar.

Some people were laughing, and some were a little nervous.

In the director's room at the scene, it was already silent at this time. From the Golden Globe director team to the screenwriters watching at the scene, everyone stared at the TV nervously.

Alison was also among them, muttering: "Come on, please, you can do it, Chen."

On the monitor, Chen Nuo's expression was still calm, as if what he said at the opening was true, and he really drank three glasses before going on stage.

Otherwise, if a living Michael Jackson is a target of public criticism, any joke or dirty water can be splashed on him, then a dead Michael, undoubtedly, has sublimated into a god in the heart of every black person, not something anyone can bear the public backlash caused by teasing or mocking him. What is touching the tiger's head? This is definitely it. Then what is he so calm for?

However, it was precisely because of his relaxed and natural expression that many stars under the stage also laughed.

But more, they still remained cautious, looking at the stage solemnly, preparing to listen to what he had to say.

Chen Nuo smiled and said: "Michael, I have never met him in reality. But on TV, I have seen him countless times. I remember one time, I was watching him dance on TV in China, just like this..."

Chen Nuo walked on the stage at this time, sliding three steps.

Just three steps of the moonwalk.

This was already the result of him using all his strength. The most awesome black dance teacher in all of LA could only teach him to walk three steps like a model in 10 days.

However, the effect was also amazing. The whole scene began to applaud desperately.

This was not for him, this was paying tribute to the dead King of Pop.

Chen Nuo stopped and said: "However, at that time I didn't look at his feet, I kept staring at his nose. I was only 10 years old, completely didn't know what was going on. I really wanted to ask..."

Just like Michael Jackson was standing in front of him, Chen Nuo looked at the camera lens, blinked, showed an innocent and confused expression, and said: "Michael, I have been your fan since I was 7 years old, I have watched your music video tape hundreds of times, you can't lie to me. I dare to be 100% sure, your nose absolutely didn't look like this in the first place, what on earth did you do to it?"

"Hahahahahaha!"

The incomparably huge laughter sounded from the entire hall.

The originally tense atmosphere, under his layer-by-layer paving, finally turned into a relaxed smile. Whether black or white, everyone grinned, the whole atmosphere was completely relaxed, even more relaxed than at the opening.

And whether in the RV in Detroit or in the five-story apartment in Baltimore, many black-skinned people laughed out a mouthful of white teeth.

"His moonwalk is not bad, do Chinese people also like Michael?"

"Of course, that is the King of Pop!"

"Chen was the first to post to commemorate Michael at that time, right?"

"Yup."

"Anyway, Chen mentioning Michael's name at the Golden Globe is a good thing."

"Right."

Alison, who was closely watching the movement of social media, was originally desperately brushing the entry about "Chen Nuo Golden Globe" on Twitter.

At this moment, she finally put down her phone, breathed a sigh of relief, turned her head and asked: "How are the ratings now?"

The assistant director beside her said with difficulty hiding excitement: "It's about to break 20 million. It's only been a few minutes since the opening, Alison, we succeeded! Chen did too great!"

Alison smiled.

Yes, huge risks bring huge benefits.

Stimulating topics naturally bring huge traffic and lingering audiences.

Ricky Gervais messed up half of it last year. But Chen Nuo chose the same path this year, but it was even more thrilling and attractive than Ricky's. Can he walk to the end safely?

Zoe, are you watching?

After the laughter subsided a little, Chen Nuo continued: "As a result, time passed to now, and there are more and more plastic surgeries around us. People started to move their hands and feet on their bodies and faces, which simply became an open secret."

"I have a friend..."

This time, before the words were finished, the whole scene started to laugh again.

Just like after riding a roller coaster once, the body and emotions will relax. The audience gradually entered the rhythm set by Chen Nuo. It was like last year's Oscars again, and his every word and sentence easily caused huge ripples.

At this moment, he is like a magician manipulating emotions.

"No, not him."

Chen Nuo shook his head, and then Leonardo on the big screen disappeared immediately.

Rehearsed five or six times, this time the cooperation was very good. Sure enough, this kind of interaction between man and machine at this time, immediately caused a novel laughter at the scene again.

Chen Nuo said: "My friends are not just him. Here I solemnly introduce, Brad Pitt, my good friend. This time, with his perfect performance in *Moneyball*, he was nominated for Best Actor."

Everyone began to applaud and cheer.

The big screen cut out the picture of Brad Pitt. He was nominated for Best Actor in a Drama for *Moneyball* tonight, sitting at a round table smiling and applauding. Sitting beside him was Angelina Jolie, who was in a black long dress with red lips and a high bun, looking at Chen Nuo seriously.

"Brad, he called me one day last year and said to me, he said he was prepared to repair his chin."

"Hahahahaha!"

Everyone laughed. Everyone knew he was talking nonsense, but it was really interesting.

Brad Pitt's status, to be honest, there are absolutely not many comedians in the world who dare to make fun of him. This kind of naked teasing of his body parts, before this, no host had done it.

"Really, he just used that word—'repair'. I was simply stunned at the time." Chen Nuo said seriously, "I thought, is he some kind of Terminator? No wonder his chin is so square."

In the laughter, Chen Nuo looked at Brad Pitt's slightly stiff smile under the stage, and felt cool in his heart.

It has to be said that this is also one of the reasons why he didn't play the safe card.

A gentleman takes revenge, ten years is not too late, but he dragged it for almost a month, and felt it was late enough.

"I asked him, 'Brad, your chin is so sexy, is there any problem, why repair it. Angie told me she loved your square chin to death. She said, if your chin is filled with hot water, it's better than an iron. Why do you want to change the home appliances in your girlfriend's house without authorization?'"

"Hahahahahaha!" The whole scene laughed crazy.

"He said: 'No, I don't care. I have to go. I want it to be sharper—like you.' After saying this, Chen Nuo smiled slightly and pointed to the screen: 'I think he means, he is prepared to become like this.'"

The words fell, the big screen suddenly switched, and a PS-ed photo of Brad Pitt appeared—he was PS-ed with a sharp chin of Chen Nuo, and the result looked like a mouse face with golden hair.

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha!"

When this photo appeared on the TV screen, even the people who were not smiling at the scene, such as Dustin Hoffman and his wife, as well as Morgan Freeman and Megan Wolley who had been sitting upright, all laughed.

This is the first time in the history of the Golden Globe that a PS-ed spoof picture has been used in a live broadcast to make a joke.

This practice will be frequently used by programs like *The Daily Show*, *The Tonight Show*, and *White House Correspondents' Dinner* later. For example, in 2014, Obama used a PS picture to mock Donald's taste at a press conference.

But before 2012, no one had done this on a formal occasion—let alone the Golden Globe stage broadcast internationally.

Is it too much?

It's really too much.

80% of the people at the scene felt that if it were on themselves, they definitely couldn't stand it, but... who let them be friends?

Many people saw Brad Pitt go to Chen Nuo for a private chat at the nomination luncheon, and Angelina's relationship with Chen Nuo is known to the world. So, what's the problem with jokes between friends?

"When seeing what he might look like in the future at the plastic surgeon's, my friend Brad gave up."

"I asked him why, didn't you say you were dissatisfied with your chin?"

"He said, although this chin is better than his current one, he is very worried that Angie's Gucci dress will be scratched."

"Angie, your boyfriend, I must say, he seems a bit stingy." Chen Nuo blinked at Angelina Jolie under the stage and said: "I remember you have more money than him, so prepare a prenuptial agreement. If there is that day."

"Hahahahahaha."

The stars who knew nothing about the inside story of their relationship looked at Brad Pitt's stiff expression on the big screen and burst into laughter again and again.

The 20 million American viewers in front of the TV were the same.

The last time was Leonardo DiCaprio. This time, it became Brad Pitt. It has to be said that watching the embarrassed appearance of world superstars is really too interesting.

(End of chapter) ===== CHAPTER 456 =====