Chapter 456: Offending the whole scene

Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

"Mom, do you feel that Chen is a little different today?" Susan grabbed two popcorns, stuffed them into her mouth, stared at the TV screen, and said excitedly.

Karen Wilson said blandly: "You already said that just now, he changed his hairstyle today."

"No, I don't mean this." Susan shook her head, "I mean he... hey, I don't know how to explain it to you."

"You want to say he is impolite, right?"

"What impolite, that's called cool! Mom, you are too outdated."

"Outdated? Hehe."

Susan continued: "No, it's not outdated, it's that you obviously like it very much, just now I also saw you laughing very hard. You just don't want to admit it, just like you don't want to admit that you went to see *Twilight 4* alone, and twice!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Your ticket stub!" Susan said triumphantly, "One is from December 19th, you went by yourself, and there are two more from two days ago, January 2nd, you told me you went to Aunt Maide's house. As a result, hehe, it should be when you and that Edwin were dating, you went to see it again!"

"Nonsense!" Karen Wilson said in a panic, "Where did you see it?"

"Mom, I said you are too outdated, you pressed the ticket stub on the microwave... Hahahahahahaha!" Susan suddenly laughed loudly, "Here it comes again, I knew it, hahahaha, I knew Chen wouldn't let him go! Laughing to death! Hahahahaha!"

"I don't blame Brad." Chen Nuo stood on the stage and said loudly, "Because this era is like this, if you don't change anything, you have no way to achieve success in this industry."

"Like me, I didn't get anything today, I can only be a host here. I have another friend, he is different."

"Harvey Weinstein. One day in March, he asked me to do him a favor, count the hair on his head."

"Hahahahahaha!"

"I was like this—one..." Chen Nuo raised a hand, posing a gesture of searching, "Mm... mm..."

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Tw... no, not... uh..."

His expression and movements were too realistic.

Whether it was in the RV in Baton Rouge, or in the hospital room in Toronto, or in thousands of families watching TV across the United States, Canada, and even the world, almost everyone was laughed at by his vivid imitation.

On the big screen, Harvey Weinstein was also laughing, but that smile didn't look better than crying.

"That's about it. And then I saw him today."

"I must say, it's about the same as my feeling when I saw Michael Jackson on TV."

"Hey, Harvey, don't joke with me." He asked seriously toward the direction of Harvey Weinstein under the stage:

"Where is your hair? What on earth is going on with you? I swear to God, your hairline before was absolutely not like this, don't think you can mix it up so easily!"

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"... It is precisely because of this that he can sit here today and create such great achievements."

Chen Nuo added: "I suggest that bald men all go and try it. Last year he couldn't even take out 100 dollars, this year, he has two films nominated at the same time. This absolutely has something to do with the hair on his head. Give me a phone number of a hair transplant hospital later, Harvey, I will give it to my dad when the time comes. He also has some... similar troubles."

"Hahahahahaha."

In the laughter, Harvey Weinstein felt that the eyes of the whole scene were on his head, his face turned bright red, and his hand quietly clenched the trouser seam on his thigh.

F·U·C·K!

Undoubtedly, this year is a year of infinite scenery for The Weinstein Company.

Following *The King's Speech* last year, this year's *The Artist* and *The Iron Lady* are unstoppable. *The Artist* won the Best Actor at the Cannes Film Festival early on, and now it is nominated for four major awards at the Golden Globe, competing for Best Picture and Best Director with *Inception*. *The Iron Lady*, which collaborated with Meryl Streep, is also the hottest option for the Golden Globe Best Actress.

Reasonably speaking, he, Harvey Weinstein, should have been the focus of the whole scene, a symbol of power to be looked up to, and a figure worshipped by the film industry.

But now?

This bug from China actually laughed at him in public?!

In front of the global audience, he nakedly carried out personal attacks on him, and even made fun of the hair he just transplanted!

And the people at the scene... actually followed and laughed!

What is this?

Is this still Hollywood?

Harvey has attended countless awards ceremonies and heard countless jokes. But those offensive jokes rarely involve appearance—that is extremely politically incorrect!

But tonight, from Michael Jackson's nose, to Pitt's chin, to Harvey's head, it was simply wave after wave, turning the Golden Globe scene into some kind of black stand-up comedy special, unscrupulous!

And those who laughed, were not the fat-assed niggers in the Brooklyn comedy club, but the top-notch film and TV people in the world!

These bastards, have they all forgotten that they are Democrats? Have they all turned into those sharp-tongued conservative cowboys in Texas?

"Calm down, Harvey, calm down. He is deliberately provoking you." Rob Weinstein sitting beside him advised in a low voice.

"Rest assured, I know."

"When the Best Picture comes out later, he won't be able to laugh."

"Mm-hmm." Harvey nodded slightly.

On stage, Chen Nuo's expression converged a little.

After successive laughter, he finally said in a slightly steady tone:

"Is appearance important? Yes. Capital Y, E, S. It is very important. It is the stepping stone for us actors, the foundation leading to success."

"However—" he paused, his eyes swept to the big screen on the right, "Don't forget, if it weren't for Jean Dujardin, this artist from France, using his superb acting skills to perform the style of a 30s Hollywood superstar in *The Artist*... even if Harvey Weinstein planted his head into a tropical rainforest, he wouldn't be able to let this movie walk into today's Golden Globe hall."

"Now, let us pay tribute to those more worthy of respect."

Laughter and applause sounded at the same time.

The big screen picture cut to the round table of *The Artist*. That table's position was in the corner, because this film was originally an artistic niche movie, and it did not receive central treatment when seating.

The camera swept to Jean Dujardin, this not-so-famous French actor, who revealed a shy smile after Chen Nuo's praise.

This is the power of a Golden Globe or Oscar-level host.

One sentence can make an actor who was originally unknown be remembered by global audiences. Finally, regardless of whether he wins the award or not, this exposure will bring huge changes in salary and career opportunities.

Especially the person who said this.

In this year, by virtue of the big sales of *Inception* and *Twilight 4*, he has already sat on the status of a superstar and officially entered the "20 Million Club".

His every word and action, the ripples he can set off, is not a simple joke.

At this moment, those TV actors around Jean Dujardin were all applauding while casting envious eyes at him. For them, this is definitely a moment of extreme longing.

However, Chen Nuo will not forget that he belongs to that side.

When compiling the lines, Alison reminded him again and again that there is an invisible boundary that he should not cross.

TV actors and movie actors... there is an invisible center line in Hollywood, and few people can walk freely on both sides without being damaged. The only reason Alison approved Chen Nuo to appear in *Eagle Catching Chicken* at the beginning was just because: money.

Therefore, after a pause, waiting for the applause to be smaller, Chen Nuo didn't look over there again, but used his hand to lead the stage again, and said clearly: "Except for Jean Dujardin, Harvey's success is also because of Meryl Streep. She used her wonderful performance in *The Iron Lady* to declare that she is still the unique Meryl Streep in the world. She doesn't need to tidy up any wrinkles on her face, because it is precisely them that achieved her as the best actress in the world."

—Lei Mingban applause sounded again!

The big screen cut to the round table of *The Iron Lady* crew. Meryl Streep was wearing a rimless pair of glasses, took it off at this time, turned her head to look at her husband with a smile, and whispered: "Too exaggerated."

Her husband smiled: "I think he should have more."

Sure enough—

Chen Nuo took out a long strip of paper from his suit pocket, lowered his head and looked at it while talking to himself: "Call her the best actress... I'll give you one million... Harvey Weinstein..."

In the laughter of the whole scene, applause thundered.

Chen Nuo stuffed the paper into his pocket, revealed a smile again and said: "Don't worry about the wrinkles on the face, there is also Charlize Theron. Tonight, she was nominated for her performance in *Young Adult*."

As soon as the words fell, the big screen immediately switched to Charlize Theron's picture.

Under the lens, she is brilliant tonight, a golden slim long dress with high slits, stunning the whole scene. She will present the Best Supporting Actor award with George Clooney later. And at this moment, when hearing Chen Nuo suddenly mention her name, this beautiful diamond from South Africa widened her eyes slightly, and a touch of astonishment flashed across her face.

She really didn't expect that Chen Nuo would mention her on stage—Chen Nuo had never mentioned her before.

As her name was read out from Chen Nuo's mouth, applause suddenly sounded in the whole scene.

Her face appeared on the big screen at the scene, and also appeared in front of billions of viewers around the world. At this moment called her career and life low point, such a public exposure might even become a straw for her.

"*Young Adult*, I believe when you heard this movie title, the first thought in your mind must be: 'Oh my god, how old is she?'"

"Wow~~~~~"

"Hahaha!"

Laughter and exclamations sounded in the whole scene, many people covered their mouths while laughing.

Teasing the age of actresses, this is definitely a joke that exceeds the boundary.

But Chen Nuo shrugged, and continued with a relaxed expression: "Facts have proved that she did it, no matter what method she used, the wrinkles on her face did disappear. I feel she is probably fifty years younger now."

"Hahahahahahahahaha." In the laughter of the whole scene, Theron also laughed along.

If this kind of age joke were placed on some female stars, they would definitely turn their faces on the spot, such as Madonna. But 36-year-old Charlize has not yet grown old, still graceful, facing such jokes, she can still smile calmly. What's more, on such an occasion, such teasing not only did not belittle her, but made her chased by the spotlight again.

Seeing that she was also laughing on the big screen, the laughter of the whole scene became louder.

Chen Nuo is really going to carry out plan B to the end today, preparing to offend the few biggest stars in the whole scene.

After Theron, he immediately turned the spearhead again, applauded and said: "And Charlize's courage is also commendable, there is also George Clooney, he was nominated for multiple awards tonight. Congratulations to him."

Everyone applauded together.

In the applause, Chen Nuo said: "I'm not saying George is also old. This doesn't need me to say. His hair has explained everything."

George Clooney's head of grey hair appeared on the big screen, and the whole scene laughed.

"I just feel that he actually dared to direct and act in *The Ides of March*, this is really too courageous."

"George, I think the box office problem might as well find the reason on yourself."

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha."

George Clooney covered the lower half of his face, shaking his head while laughing. His *The Ides of March* only sold more than 50 million box office.

Chen Nuo completely entered the performance state, he put one hand in his pocket, walked with shiny leather shoes, and began to walk slowly, his eyes scanning the stage, sliding over one smiling face after another, "To be honest, when the process tonight proceeds to here, are you already a little afraid of me?"

The stage suddenly made a burst of laughter.

"Don't pretend. When I saw Alec Baldwin sitting there, like an elephant frozen, I knew you were already afraid." In the laughter, Chen Nuo smiled and pointed to Alec Baldwin under the stage, "Because of *30 Rock*, he was nominated for Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy TV Series tonight."

Applause sounded.

This is the glorious moment belonging to the nominee. Chen Nuo will not grab words at this time. After the applause disappeared, he had walked to the left side of the stage, "I have a special good feeling for Alec. Because

"Hahahaha."

"I'm not talking about comedic ability, I'm talking about looks." Chen Nuo touched his face with his hand and said to the audience below: "Alec, I've been advising everyone not to get plastic surgery, but you—you're the only one who should."

"Hahahahahaha!"

"Kate Winslet." Chen Nuo suddenly raised his voice, "Nominated for Best Actress in a Comedy for *Carnage*."

Applause rang out.

But those TV stars were a bit disappointed; they had expected him to pick a few more people... In the end, he only picked Alec Baldwin. He didn't even bother with super-hit shows like *Homeland* or *The Big Bang Theory*, even though he had once guest-starred on the latter.

"I noticed that Kate was laughing very happily just now. She's probably thinking she'll get a pass from me," Chen Nuo said with a grin.

Kate Winslet on the big screen played along, clasping her hands together in a pleading gesture, her mouth seemingly saying "please," which immediately drew laughter from the entire room again.

"Don't worry, Kate, I never intended to make fun of you in the first place."

"Ladies and gentlemen, you know, Kate has been calling for equal pay for men and women recently. Let's give her a round of applause!"

Lei Mingban applause erupted, especially from some of the actresses, who clapped desperately.

"As far as I know, she has received a lot of support."

"Many nurses, nannies, and waitresses have been inspired by her to march in the streets. They shout slogans—" Chen Nuo waved his fist and mimicked in a high-pitched voice: "'Gender equality! Kate Winslet only earns 50 million a year, how is she supposed to survive?'"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Even the plumbers are crying." Chen Nuo pretended to choke up, "She's so miserable, how can this world be so unfair!"

"Hahahahahaha!" The laughter from the audience was like a tsunami, and the big screen flashed through the actresses below, all of whom were laughing.

In front of their televisions, audiences across America were also roaring with laughter.

After the laughter subsided slightly, Chen Nuo suddenly changed his tone, shifting to a solemn one: "Besides Kate, there is another nominated work tonight that is also focusing on social issues, and that is *Spotlight*. This film reveals a fact: 5% of priests across the United States have... an unusual relationship with underage children."

After everyone had turned serious, he paused and added: "As far as I know, this movie immediately caught the attention of Roman Polanski, and he bought a ticket right away to see this... beautiful love story, as he calls it."

"Hiss—hahahahaha!"

The entire room first collectively gasped, then burst into uproarious laughter.

"He's truly crazy," Alison heard the assistant director mutter beside her backstage.

She turned her head and asked: "How are the ratings? Did they break 20 million?"

"They broke it." The assistant director took a deep breath and said: "The data from just now. There are currently 20.03 million people across the US watching our show. This is the best rating in five years."

"Very good." Alison nodded, "The opening is ending soon, let's see how high it goes at the end. I think that will be the highest rating of the night; I doubt many people can stay awake until the end."

The assistant director nodded and said regretfully: "It's a pity there's no pizza segment."

Alison said indifferently: "Tell the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, if they want that, then remember to nominate us next time."

"Haha, okay."

On stage, Chen Nuo waited for the laughter to subside again and said with a smile:

"Alright, my jokes for the night end here. Before the awards, I have one last thing to say."

"The Foreign Press Association invited me because they felt Ricky Gervais's hosting style last year was too much, so they dumped him and hoped I would restore a bit of warmth to the situation..."

"And I brought them a bunch of this." He made a finger-gun gesture at the camera, "Ricky, I've avenged you."

The whole room laughed.

"From this, we can see that they are actually just a bunch of drunk old reporters with no eye for talent at all. So if you win an award tonight, please, don't get too cocky—because no one cares about this award as much as you do, okay?"

"Don't get too excited, and don't talk too much; let's finish early."

Roars of laughter erupted everywhere.

"In general, the Golden Globes, no offense, are actually just this group of old reporters giving you a piece of broken metal so they can take a picture with you, that's all."

Chen Nuo said with a look of jealousy: "I've won a Golden Globe. So I don't care at all that I wasn't nominated this year, really."

"I have too many trophies at home, the cabinets can't hold them. Some I use as doorstops, some I keep to hit burglars."

"Do you know what I use my Golden Globe for?"

"Here's a hint, look at its shape..."

"Wahahahaha." Half the people understood and were laughing wildly, while the other half were confused.

Chen Nuo explained: "Alright, just kidding, it's too big, it won't fit in at all."

"Hahahahahaha." Now everyone understood, and the laughter nearly blew the roof off.

The dirty jokes that had never appeared in his mouth before were used to blow up the venue this time, and the effect was indeed as extraordinary as expected.

In Barutun, Susan asked with a half-understanding look: "Mom, what did Chen mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything, don't ask. One more word and you're going straight to bed!"

Chen Nuo laughed and said: "Alright, this is really the end, this is my last joke. When I told this joke to Philip earlier, he said, 'If you say it like that, I'm worried they won't come to the Golden Globes anymore.'"

"I said no way, how could movie stars refuse the chance to get a Golden Globe??"

He paused, "Anyway, the film companies have already bought the awards, and you don't have to pay for them, don't you think?"

"Hahahahaha—"

"Alright, alright, there really aren't any more. This is definitely the last one."

After the laughter died down, Chen Nuo said with a straight face: "Now, let's get serious."

"The Golden Globes are different from the Oscars; here, we honor every outstanding person in the television or film industry without prejudice or racial bias."

As soon as he finished speaking, there was another burst of laughter.

"Next, we would like to invite the first presenter of the night. At this time last year, he was still the hottest movie star in the world..."

"But this year, he has already had that title snatched away by me."

Everyone was very supportive of his self-aggrandizement, and the room was filled with laughter, cheers, and whistles.

In the enthusiastic atmosphere, Chen Nuo smiled broadly, raised his voice, and said loudly: "Let's welcome Johnny Depp!"

(End of chapter)