Chapter 456: Offending the Entire Room

Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

"Mom, do you ever feel like Chen is a little different today?" Susan grabbed two pieces of popcorn, stuffed them into her mouth, and said excitedly, her eyes fixed on the TV screen.

Karen Wilson replied flatly, "You already said that just now; he changed his hairstyle today."

"No, that's not what I mean." Susan shook her head. "I mean he... ugh, I don't know how to explain it to you."

"You mean to say he's rude, don't you?"

"What rude? That's called cool! Mom, you're so outdated."

"Outdated? Heh."

Susan continued, "No, it's not outdated; it's that you clearly like it too. I saw you laughing really hard just now. You just don't want to admit it, just like you don't want to admit you went to see *The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1* all by yourself, and twice at that!"

"What nonsense are you spouting?"

"Your ticket stubs!" Susan said triumphantly. "One is from December 19th, you went by yourself, and there are two more from a couple of days ago, January 2nd. You told me you went to Aunt Maide's house. Turns out, heh, it must have been when you were on a date with that Edwin, and you went to see it again!"

"Nonsense!" Karen Wilson said, somewhat flustered. "Where did you see that?"

"Mom, I told you you're too outdated. You left the ticket stubs on top of the microwave... Hahahahahaha!" Susan suddenly burst into laughter. "Here it comes again, I knew it, hahaha, I knew Chen wouldn't let him off! I'm dying of laughter! Hahahahaha!"

"I don't blame Brad," Chen Nuo stood on stage and said loudly. "Because this era is just like this; if you don't change something, you have no way to achieve success in this industry."

"Like me, I didn't get anything today, I can only be the host here. I have another friend, and he's different."

"Harvey Weinstein. One day in March, he asked me to do him a favor: count the hairs on the top of his head."

"Hahahahahaha!"

"I was like this—one..." Chen Nuo raised a hand, making a searching motion, "Hmm... hmm..."

"Hahahahahahahahaha!"

"Tw... no, not that... uh..."

His expression and movements were truly too realistic.

Whether in the living room in Baton Rouge, in a hospital ward in Toronto, or in thousands of households across the United States, Canada, and even the world watching TV, almost everyone was doubled over with laughter at his vivid imitation.

On the big screen, Harvey Weinstein was also laughing, but that smile didn't look much better than crying.

"That's about it. And then I saw him today."

"I have to say, it felt about the same as when I first saw Michael Jackson on TV."

"Hey, Harvey, don't kid with me." He asked seriously, facing the direction of Harvey Weinstein in the audience:

"Where is your hair? What exactly is going on with you? I swear to God, your hairline didn't look like this before. Don't think you can just breeze past it so easily!"

"Hahahahahahahahaha!"

"...It is precisely because of this that he can sit here today and create such great achievements."

Chen Nuo added, "I suggest all bald men give it a try. Last year he couldn't even pull out 100 dollars, and this year, he has two films nominated simultaneously. This definitely has something to do with the hair on his head. Give me the number for a hair transplant clinic later, okay Harvey? I'll give it to my old man. He's been having a bit of... the same trouble lately."

"Hahahahahaha."

Amidst the laughter filling the room, Harvey Weinstein felt the eyes of the entire audience falling on the top of his head. His face turned bright red, and his hand quietly gripped the seam of his trousers on his thigh.

F-u-c-k!

Without a doubt, this year was a year of infinite glory for The Weinstein Company.

Following last year's *The King's Speech*, this year's *The Artist* and *The Iron Lady* were unstoppable. *The Artist* had already won Best Actor at the Cannes Film Festival, and now it was nominated for four major awards at the Golden Globes, competing with *Inception* for Best Picture and Best Director. *The Iron Lady*, in collaboration with Meryl Streep, was also the hottest contender for Best Actress at the Golden Globes.

Logically speaking, Harvey Weinstein should have been the focus of the entire room, a symbol of power to be looked up to, a figure worshipped by the film industry.

But now?

This bug from China was actually mocking him in public?!

Right in front of a global audience, he was nakedly attacking him personally and even making jokes about his newly transplanted hair!

And everyone in the room... was actually laughing along!

What is this?

Is this still Hollywood?

Harvey had attended countless awards ceremonies and heard more jokes than he could count. But those aggressive jokes rarely involved appearance—that was extremely politically incorrect!

But tonight, from Michael Jackson's nose to Pitt's chin, and then to Harvey's head, it was wave after wave, turning the Golden Globes venue into some kind of black stand-up comedy special, completely unbridled!

And the people laughing weren't some fat-assed niggers from a Brooklyn comedy club, but the top tier of film and television people in the world!

Have these bastards forgotten they are Democrats? Have they all turned into those snide, mean-spirited conservative cowboys from Texas?

"Calm down, Harvey, calm down. He's doing this to deliberately provoke you," Bob Weinstein, sitting beside him, whispered.

"Don't worry, I know."

"When Best Picture comes up later, he won't be laughing anymore."

"Uh-huh." Harvey nodded slightly.

On stage, Chen Nuo's expression became a bit more composed.

After the successive rounds of laughter, he finally said in a slightly steady tone:

"Is appearance important? Yes. A capital Y, E, S. It is very important. It is the stepping stone for us actors, the foundation for reaching success."

"But—" he paused, his eyes sweeping toward the big screen on the right, "don't forget, if it weren't for Jean Dujardin, this artist from France, using his superb acting skills to perform the style of a 30s Hollywood superstar in *The Artist*... even if Harvey Weinstein planted his head into a tropical rainforest, he wouldn't have been able to get this film into today's Golden Globes hall."

"Now, let us pay tribute to those more worthy of respect."

Laughter and applause erupted simultaneously.

The big screen cut to the round table for *The Artist*. That table was in a corner because this film was originally an art-house niche movie and didn't receive center-stage treatment during seating.

The camera swept to Jean Dujardin; this not-so-famous French actor revealed a shy smile after Chen Nuo's praise.

This is the power of a Golden Globe or Oscar-level host.

One sentence can make an actor who was originally unknown be remembered by global audiences. In the end, regardless of whether they win an award or not, this kind of exposure brings huge changes in salary and career opportunities.

Especially when the person saying it is him.

In this year, relying on the massive sales of *Inception* and *The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1*, he had already solidified his status as a superstar and officially entered the "20 Million Club."

The ripples his every word and action could stir were by no means simple jokes.

At this moment, the TV actors around Jean Dujardin were all applauding while casting envious glances at him. For them, this was definitely a moment they craved immensely.

However, Chen Nuo wouldn't forget which side he belonged to.

When drafting the script, Allison had repeatedly reminded him that there was an invisible boundary he should not cross.

TV and film actors... there is an invisible center line in Hollywood, and few people can walk freely on both sides without suffering damage. The only reason Allison approved of Chen Nuo appearing in *Eagle Catches Chicken* back then was simply: money.

Therefore, after a pause, waiting for the applause to die down a little, Chen Nuo didn't look that way again, but instead gestured toward the audience again, saying clearly, "Besides Jean Dujardin, Harvey's success is also because of Meryl Streep. With her brilliant performance in *The Iron Lady*, she declared that she is still the one and only Meryl Streep in the world. She doesn't need to smooth out a single wrinkle on her face, because it is precisely those that make her the best actress in the world."

—Thunderous applause erupted again!

The big screen cut to the round table for *The Iron Lady* crew. Meryl Streep was wearing a pair of rimless glasses, which she took off at this moment, smiling as she turned to look at her husband and said softly, "Too exaggerated."

Her husband laughed, "I think he probably has more to say."

Sure enough—

Chen Nuo took a long strip of paper from his suit pocket, looked down at it, and muttered to himself, "Call her the best actress... I'll give you a million... Harvey Weinstein..."

Amidst the uproarious laughter of the audience, applause thundered.

Chen Nuo stuffed the note into his pocket, smiled again, and said, "Another one who doesn't worry about wrinkles on her face is Charlize Theron. Tonight, she is nominated for her performance in *Young Adult*."

As soon as he finished speaking, the big screen immediately switched to the image of Charlize Theron.

Under the camera, she was radiant tonight, in a high-slit, gold, form-fitting long dress that stunned the whole room. She would be presenting the Best Supporting Actor award with George Clooney later. And at this moment, upon hearing Chen Nuo suddenly mention her name, this beautiful diamond from South Africa widened her eyes slightly, and a flash of astonishment crossed her face.

She truly hadn't expected Chen Nuo to mention her on stage—Chen Nuo had never mentioned her before.

As her name was spoken by Chen Nuo, applause suddenly erupted throughout the room.

Her face appeared on the big screen at the venue and also in front of hundreds of millions of viewers worldwide. At this moment, which was called the low point of her career and life, such public exposure might even become a life-saving straw for her.

"*Young Adult*, I believe the first thought in your minds when you heard this title must have been: 'My God, how old is she?'"

"Wow~~~~~"

"Hahaha!"

Laughter and gasps of surprise immediately erupted throughout the room, and many people covered their mouths while laughing.

Making fun of an actress's age is definitely a joke that crosses the line.

But Chen Nuo shrugged, continued with a relaxed face, "The facts prove she did it. No matter what method she used, the wrinkles on her face have indeed disappeared. I feel like she's about fifty years younger now."

"Hahahahahahahaha." Amidst the laughter of the whole room, Theron was also laughing along.

If this kind of age joke were directed at certain female stars, they would definitely turn hostile on the spot, like Madonna. But 36-year-old Charlize was not yet old and still graceful; facing such a joke, she could still smile calmly. What's more, on an occasion like this, such teasing not only didn't belittle her but instead made her chased by the spotlight once again.

Seeing her laughing on the big screen, the laughter in the room suddenly grew even louder.

Chen Nuo was really going to carry out Plan B to the end today, preparing to offend the biggest stars in the room.

After Theron, he immediately turned his spearhead again and applauded, "Equally courageous as Charlize is George Clooney, who is nominated for multiple awards today. Congratulations to him."

Everyone followed along and applauded.

Amidst the applause, Chen Nuo said, "I'm not saying George is old too. I don't need to say that. His hair has already explained everything."

George Clooney's head of gray hair appeared on the big screen, and the whole room burst into laughter.

"I just think that he actually dared to direct and act in *The Ides of March* himself; that really is too courageous."

"George, I think you might want to look for the reason for the box office problem in yourself."

"Hahahahahahahahahaha."

George Clooney covered the lower half of his face, shaking his head while laughing. His *The Ides of March* only sold over 50 million in box office.

Chen Nuo had completely entered a performance state. He put one hand in his pocket, walked slowly in his shiny leather shoes, and scanned the audience, his gaze sliding over one smiling face after another, "Seriously, now that the proceedings tonight have reached this point, are you all already a little afraid of me?"

A burst of laughter suddenly erupted from the audience.

"Don't pretend. When I saw Alec Baldwin sitting there, like a frozen elephant, I knew you were already afraid." Amidst the laughter, Chen Nuo pointed smilingly at Alec Baldwin in the audience. "Because of '30 Rock', he is nominated for Best Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy tonight."

Applause rang out.

This is the glorious moment for the nominees; Chen Nuo would not steal the spotlight at such a time. Once the applause faded, he had already walked to the left side of the stage. "I have a special fondness for Alec. Because I have always felt that the reason my Oscars were so highly acclaimed last year is inseparable from him being the host of the previous Oscars."

"Hahahaha."

"I'm not talking about the ability to be funny; I'm talking about the looks." Chen Nuo touched his face with his hand and said to the audience, "Alec, I have been advising everyone not to get plastic surgery, but you alone, you should."

"Hahahahahahahaha!"

"Kate Winslet." Chen Nuo suddenly raised his voice. "Nominated for Best Actress in a Comedy for 'Carnage'."

Applause rang out.

The television stars were a bit disappointed; they had originally thought he would point out a few more people... but in the end, he only pointed out Alec Baldwin. He didn't even pay attention to super hit shows like 'Homeland' or 'The Big Bang Theory', even though he had once guest-starred on the latter.

"I noticed that Kate was laughing very happily just now; she probably thinks she will be spared by me," Chen Nuo said with a smile.

Kate Winslet on the big screen was very cooperative, putting her hands together in a prayer-like gesture, her mouth seemingly saying "please", which immediately caused laughter throughout the room again.

"Don't worry, Kate, I never intended to make fun of you."

"Ladies and gentlemen, you know, Kate has been calling for equal pay for men and women recently. Let's give her a round of applause!"

Thunderous applause broke out, especially from some of the actresses, who clapped even harder.

"As far as I know, she has received a lot of support."

"Many nurses, nannies, and waitresses have been inspired by her to take to the streets and protest. They shout slogans—" Chen Nuo waved his fist and mimicked in a high-pitched voice: "'Gender equality! Kate Winslet only earns 50 million a year, how is she supposed to survive?'"

"Hahahaha!"

"Even the plumbers are crying." Chen Nuo pretended to choke up. "She is so miserable, how can this world be so unfair!"

"Hahahahahahahaha!" The laughter from the audience was like a tsunami, and the big screen flashed through the actresses in the audience, all of whom were laughing.

In front of their televisions, audiences across the United States were also laughing until they doubled over.

After the laughter subsided slightly, Chen Nuo suddenly changed his tone, shifting to a solemn one: "Besides Kate, there is another nominated work tonight that is also focusing on social issues, and that is 'Spotlight'. This film exposes a fact: 5% of priests in the United States have... an unusual relationship with underage children."

After everyone became serious, he paused and added: "As far as I know, this movie immediately caught the attention of Roman Polanski, and he bought a ticket right away to watch this... beautiful love story, as he considers it."

"Hiss—hahahahaha!"

The whole room first collectively gasped, then burst into loud laughter.

"This is truly crazy." Backstage, Allison heard the assistant director next to her mutter.

She turned her head and asked: "How are the ratings? Did they break 20 million?"

"They broke it." The assistant director took a deep breath and said: "The data from just now. There are currently 20.03 million people across the U.S. watching our show, the best ratings in five years."

"Very good." Allison nodded. "The opening is about to end, let's see what the final number will be. I think that should be the highest rating of the night; not many people will be able to stay up until the end."

The assistant director nodded and said regretfully: "It's a pity there's no pizza segment."

Allison said indifferently: "Tell the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, if they want that, then remember to nominate us next time."

"Haha, okay."

On stage, Chen Nuo waited for the laughter to subside again and said with a smile:

"Alright, my jokes for tonight end here. Before the awards, I have one last thing to say."

"The Foreign Press Association invited me because they felt Ricky Gervais's hosting style last year was too much, so they abandoned him, hoping I would restore a bit of warmth to the situation..."

"And I brought them a bunch of this." He made a pistol gesture at the camera. "Ricky, I avenged you."

The whole room laughed.

"From this, it is clear that they are actually just a group of drunk old reporters with no eye for talent at all. So if you win an award tonight, please, don't get too carried away—because no one cares about this award as much as you do, okay?"

"Don't get too excited, and don't talk too much, let's finish early."

Laughter erupted everywhere.

"In general, the Golden Globe Awards, no offense, are actually just this group of old reporters giving you a piece of broken metal so they can take a photo with you, that's all."

Chen Nuo said with a look of jealousy: "I have won a Golden Globe. So I don't care at all that I wasn't nominated this year, really."

"I have too many trophies at home, the cabinets can't hold them. Some I use to prop open doors, some I keep to hit burglars."

"Do you know what I use my Golden Globe for?"

"Give you a hint, look at its shape............"

"Wahahahaha." Half the people understood and were laughing wildly, while the other half were confused.

Chen Nuo explained: "Alright, just a joke, it's too big, it won't fit in at all."

"Hahahahahahahahahaha." This time everyone understood, and the laughter almost blew the roof off.

The dirty joke he had never used before, when used to ignite the room at this moment, had an effect that was indeed as extraordinary as expected.

In Barutunri, Susan asked with a half-understanding look: "Mom, what does Chen mean?"

"It means nothing, don't ask. One more word, and you go to sleep immediately!"

Chen Nuo laughed and said: "Alright, this time it's really over, this is my last joke. When I told this joke to Philip before, he said, if you say it like that, I'm worried they won't come to the Golden Globes anymore."

"I said no way, how could movie stars refuse the chance to get a Golden Globe??"

He paused. "Anyway, the film companies have already bought the awards, and you don't have to pay for them, don't you think."

"Hahahahahaha———"

"Alright, alright, there really are no more. This is definitely the last one."

Waiting for the laughter to die down, Chen Nuo said with a straight face: "Now let's get serious."

"The Golden Globes are different from the Oscars; here, there is no bias, no racial prejudice in recognizing every outstanding person in the television or film industry."

As soon as he finished speaking, there was another burst of laughter.

"Next, we would like to invite our first presenter of the night. At this time last year, he was still the hottest movie star in the world..."

"But this year, he has already had this title stolen by me."

Everyone was very supportive of his self-aggrandizement, and laughter, cheers, and whistles rang out throughout the room.

In the enthusiastic atmosphere, Chen Nuo wore a face full of smiles, raised his volume, and said loudly: "Let us welcome Johnny Depp!"

(End of chapter)