Chapter 21: The Northern Beggar

Although the gods of the Heavenly Realm had cultivated the Dao and practiced fasting through qi cultivation, unable to feel hunger, they would occasionally crave something delicious to satisfy their appetites. At such times, they would seek out the Heavenly Realm's one and only chef, the renowned Shi Shen, to prepare them some fine delicacies. No other Heavenly God failed to recognize Shi Shen's skill. Whenever they wished for something tasty, they would prepare gifts and pay him a visit. As a chef, Shi Shen often took great pride in this. He had always believed that the dishes he made were undoubtedly the finest delicacies in the world.

Until one day, Kui Mu Lang, one of the Twenty-Eight Mansions, descended to the mortal world to undergo his tribulation, then returned to the Heavenly Realm. The other Mansions arranged a banquet at Shi Shen's place to welcome him back and wash away the dust of travel. Everyone ate with great enthusiasm, but Kui Mu Lang alone stared at the table full of fine delicacies, completely unmoved, and even said: "There's nothing good to eat in the Heavenly Realm — it's far worse than the mortal world!"

Shi Shen, hearing these words, flew into a great rage! He pointed at Kui Mu Lang and said: "How dare you say the things I make aren't good to eat?"

Kui Mu Lang said: "I'm merely speaking the truth! Such things can hardly be called delicious."

"Just you wait — I'll make a plate of my signature dish, Stir-Fried Dragon Liver, for you to taste right now, and let you see what the finest delicacy under heaven truly is!"

Since arriving in the Heavenly Realm, this was the first time Shi Shen had met someone who did not acknowledge his abilities. His competitive spirit was instantly roused, and he turned and strode into the kitchen, vowing that he would conquer Kui Mu Lang's impossibly picky tongue.

Shi Shen performed a set of flowing, cloud-like knife techniques, slicing a block of dragon liver into thin pieces and tossing them into the wok. He stoked a roaring fire and began flipping the pan, and in no time at all, a plate of richly fragrant dragon liver was ready. The gods tasted it and unanimously praised it, all calling it delicious. Kui Mu Lang also picked up a piece of dragon liver and placed it in his mouth, chewing it carefully for a moment, then said: "It's only passable — it can't be called delicious."

"Just you wait — let me bring out the Stewed Phoenix Marrow, and I'll show you what real quality looks like!"

Shi Shen turned and went back into the kitchen, washed the phoenix marrow clean, placed it in a clay pot and let it simmer over a low flame. After a while, an exquisite fragrance drifted out from the kitchen. The gods outside caught the scent and couldn't help drooling. Shi Shen divided the phoenix marrow soup into small bowls and set them before the gods. The gods wolfed it down in one gulp, and Kui Mu Lang also raised his bowl, took a careful sip, then said: "It's a bit better than the dragon liver, but it still can't really be called delicious!"

Shi Shen snorted coldly upon hearing this and said: "Everyone knows dragon liver and phoenix marrow are the finest delicacies in the world, and combined with my own unique secret methods of preparation, even the Jade Emperor and Queen Mother would give it a 'perfect' if they tasted it! And you still dare say it doesn't count as delicious. I say you're clearly talking nonsense! Cheating your way into free food and drink!"

Kui Mu Lang said: "I'm merely speaking the truth. I have indeed eaten things more delicious than these — you simply haven't tried them, so naturally you wouldn't know."

Shi Shen said: "Then tell me, what could possibly be more delicious than my dragon liver and phoenix marrow? If you have the ability, let me taste it myself. If it's truly as delicious as you claim, then whatever you say, I, this god, will obey you from now on, without a single word of refusal. But if it isn't as you say, you'll have to come here and work for me as a menial — stoking fires and chopping vegetables. How about it? Do you dare?"

"What have I to fear? Are you truly determined to make this wager?"

"With all the Star Mansions here as witnesses, I am determined to win or lose this wager with you!" Shi Shen, spatula in hand, glared furiously at Kui Mu Lang and pulled in the other star officials to bear witness, afraid Kui Mu Lang might go back on his word.

"Very well, since that's the case, I can help you taste the most delicious thing in the world. However, that thing doesn't exist in the Heavenly Realm — only in the mortal world. If you want to eat it, you'll have to follow my lead; I can help you descend to the mortal world."

The God of Wealth said: "Good, I'd like to see just what the lower realm has that could possibly taste better than the things of the Heavenly Realm."

Kui Mu Lang led Shi Shen to the outside of Nantianmen, stretched out his hand and pointed downward, saying: "Look over there!"

Shi Shen followed the direction of Kui Mu Lang's finger and looked down, but suddenly felt a tremendous force strike him from behind. His plump body went tumbling down through the clouds outside Nantianmen, and he shrieked at the top of his lungs: "You wretched Kui Mu Lang! How dare you plot against me!"

Poor Shi Shen, after tumbling down from the Heavenly Realm, lost all his divine powers. When he came to, he found himself in a deserted, deep mountain forest. He could only break off a tree branch to use as a walking stick and trudge step by step down the mountain, searching for a way out. To make matters worse, his luck was rotten — he ran into a fierce wild boar. It chased him until he was utterly exhausted, and he barely escaped by climbing up a large tree. As if that weren't enough, the heavens refused to cooperate either — suddenly a torrential downpour began, drenching the poor wretch to the bone.

At this moment, Shi Shen, now in a mortal body, finally heard his stomach growling. As a former Heavenly God, he had long forgotten what hunger felt like, but that sensation was now slowly returning to his body. Shi Shen patted his belly in confusion and muttered to himself: "What's going on? My stomach feels a bit uncomfortable..."

Shi Shen wandered through that desolate mountain forest for three days and three nights, and finally, on the morning of the fourth day, arrived at a small town at the foot of the mountain. By then he was already disheveled, in tattered clothes, starving, and had lost a great deal of weight — looking for all the world like a beggar. He finally understood that he was simply hungry and had to eat something!

The small town had plenty of snack vendors and several restaurants, bustling with people coming and going, and the aromas of all kinds of food assailed his nose. But he was now penniless, so he had no choice but to follow the smell to a stall selling steamed buns, and said to the owner: "Shopkeeper, have a heart — I haven't eaten in three days. Could you spare me a few buns?"

"Get lost! Go away, you stinking beggar — stop bothering my business!" The shopkeeper looked at Shi Shen with utter contempt, with absolutely no intention of giving him any food.

Shi Shen could only plead again: "Please, have a heart — just one will do!" The shopkeeper said: "Not even one. If you don't leave, I won't be so polite." So saying, he grabbed a rolling pin and made as if to strike him.

Shi Shen had no choice but to leave in dejection. By now he was so hungry his eyes were seeing stars, and he had no strength left to walk. He could only find a small, dilapidated temple to sit and rest in, muttering curses all the while: "You wretched Kui Mu Lang! You framed me! You despicable little wretch..."

At some unknown moment, Kui Mu Lang appeared beside him and held a steamed bun under the nose of the half-conscious Shi Shen. Shi Shen, smelling the aroma of the bun, snatched it from Kui Mu Lang's hand like a vicious dog suddenly waking from deep sleep, and began devouring it in huge bites. To his own surprise, tears actually streamed down his face, and between sobs he mumbled: "So delicious! What-what is this thing? How can it be this delicious?"

"I wonder — how does it compare to the dragon liver and phoenix marrow?" Kui Mu Lang said with a teasing smile.

"Dragon liver and phoenix marrow — how could they compare to this? It's simply..." Ugh! Only now did Shi Shen come to his senses. He looked up and saw — wasn't this Kui Mu Lang? He cursed angrily: "You wretch, why did you plot against me?"

Kui Mu Lang spread his hands helplessly and said: "You're the one who insisted on making a wager with me, saying you wouldn't believe mortal-world food was better than Heavenly Realm food until you'd tasted it yourself. How is that my doing? You yourself just said dragon liver and phoenix marrow can't even be mentioned in the same breath as these mortal-world buns. Didn't I just let you taste the most delicious thing in the world?"

Shi Shen had no reply, but said to Kui Mu Lang: "Are there any more buns?"

Kui Mu Lang handed him an entire bag of buns, and Shi Shen immediately took them and began wolfing them down. After finishing the whole bag, he was still unsatisfied, licked his lips and said: "Truly delicious — it really is the most delicious thing in the world! I understand now why you said the truly delicious things only exist in the mortal world! It's because only mortals can feel hunger, and only in a state of extreme hunger can one truly taste the finest delicacies!"

Kui Mu Lang said: "Exactly! The gods of the Heavenly Realm have all cultivated to the point of not needing to eat the five grains. No matter how much time passes, they never feel hungry, so even if they eat the finest things, they can never experience true deliciousness."

"Sigh, only now do I realize how pitiful my former self was! To never be able to experience the true delicacies of the world. I've made my decision — so that I can taste the true delicacies of the world again, I won't return to Tianting. I'll stay in the mortal world and become a beggar!" Shi Shen said with a smile, patting his bulging belly.

Kui Mu Lang returned alone to Tianting, and when the star officials saw him, they all asked where Shi Shen had gone.

Kui Mu Lang replied: "He's not coming back to Tianting. He stayed in the mortal world to become a beggar."

The star officials looked at each other in bewilderment upon hearing this, and all advised: "I tell you, even though you won the wager, you can't really make the man become a beggar — that's going too far!"

"Exactly! Although Shi Shen said that as long as you won, he wouldn't refuse a single thing you said, but no matter what, he's still the dignified Shi Shen — how could he possibly go to the mortal world to become a beggar?"

"Right! Right! And besides, with Shi Shen gone, who are we going to find to cook for us!"

Kui Mu Lang said with an innocent look: "I didn't make him become a beggar. He himself said he didn't want to return to the Heavenly Realm, and that being a beggar in the mortal world was quite nice."

The star officials were even more baffled upon hearing this, and asked: "Leaving a perfectly good position as a Heavenly God to go to the mortal world — fine, let him stay in the mortal world if he must, but why of all things become a beggar? What kind of reasoning is that?"

Kui Mu Lang said: "I can't figure out what that fellow was thinking either. He said something about only being able to taste the most delicious things in a state of extreme hunger, and that only by being a beggar could one constantly be in a state of extreme hunger. So as long as he became a beggar, he'd always be able to eat the most delicious things in the world. That's basically what he said..."

The star officials all said: "He's gone mad! Gone mad! Another one gone mad! Tianting hasn't been at peace lately — why do these strange things keep happening!"

It is said that after Shi Shen freely became a beggar in the mortal world, he somehow also became obsessed with martial arts and became one of the five greatest martial arts masters in the world. When others asked him about his insights into martial arts training, he said: "Practicing martial arts consumes an enormous amount of energy, so it lets me reach a state of hunger even faster, and then I can go eat even more delicious food." This left the younger generation of martial artists completely baffled.

Later, it is said he was even elected as the Chief of the Beggars' Sect, yet he still showed no interest in anything else, spending all his time thinking about what to eat...

(End of Chapter)