Chapter 1133: Happy Birthday (Please Subscribe)

In the blink of an eye it was already the twenty-fourth day of the twelfth month of the thirteenth year of Hongxing — today was the fiftieth birthday of the Retired Emperor of the Great Ming, Zhu Youjian!

It was truly a day of nationwide celebration and tribute from ten thousand nations! Zhu Youjian was beside himself with joy. All day yesterday he did nothing else but sit in the Palace of Benevolent Longevity on Laoshan with Empress Dowager Zhou, looking over gift lists and presents.

There were simply too many gifts! The whole world was sending things to the Chongzhen Retired Emperor — and even sending people!

The Chongzhen Retired Emperor and Empress Zhou rose early in the morning, and after breakfast began going over the gift lists. They had only just finished by early afternoon — from that one can imagine how many gifts there were. As for the value of these gifts, it was at least three million taels, enough to make the Chongzhen Retired Emperor weep.

"Retired Majesty, why are you crying?" asked Empress Zhou, now grown into a matronly woman, greatly puzzled at the sight of her husband weeping.

The Chongzhen Retired Emperor wiped his tears and said: "To think that back when We held full power, a whole year's tax silver did not reach three million taels. If We could have received this many gifts on Our thirtieth birthday, the realm would have been at peace long ago!"

Empress Zhou said with a smile: "So Your Majesty is more comfortable as Retired Emperor after all. Our son is a filial child and a wise sovereign. With him providing for us, what is there to be dissatisfied about?"

Chongzhen shook his head and sighed: "We became emperor too early. Young and ignorant, We did not know how to judge men, and so We were led around in circles by the treacherous ministers below!"

"And now you understand?" Empress Dowager Zhou asked with a half-smile.

"Of course We understand now!" Chongzhen said. "We are fifty years old, and We have watched Cilang rule as a wise sovereign for over ten years. At last We know how a wise sovereign does it!"

"Oh? You know now?" Empress Zhou asked. "Would you tell me?"

Chongzhen nodded: "To be a wise sovereign, one must use wicked men — and must know how to use wicked men!"

"Use wicked men?"

"Correct!" Chongzhen said. "The Expanded Worthies says: the merciful do not command troops, the sentimental do not accomplish affairs, the righteous do not manage wealth, the good do not hold office. When We were young We read this book and thought it was nonsense. Later, watching Cilang govern the state, We realized these four lines are the true principle! The men Cilang employs are mostly merciless, cold-hearted, unrighteous, and far from good. In the whole court, not one is a proper gentleman. Yet after We swept away the Wei Zhongxian clique, the men We employed all appeared upright, and it was proclaimed that the court was filled with the righteous. And what was the result?"

"So then, was the eradication of Wei Zhongxian a mistake?" Empress Zhou asked again.

Chongzhen shook his head: "Has Cilang ever rehabilitated Wei Zhongxian?"

"He has not."

Chongzhen asked again: "Do you know how Cilang assesses Wei Zhongxian and the eunuch faction?"

Empress Zhou shook her head again.

Chongzhen said: "Zhongxian could not be kept, but his faction could not be discarded!"

Chongzhen paused, then added: "Today, the so-called eunuch faction — apart from those who opposed Cilang in Nanjing and were falsely accused — have all been rehabilitated. Yet Wei Zhongxian's crimes alone are not pardoned!"

Empress Zhou asked: "Why is that?"

Chongzhen said: "Because if Zhongxian had not been removed, the eunuch faction would never have become the Emperor's faction! And Zhongxian's faction were all merciless, cold-hearted, unrighteous, and far from good men. Take them over and they can be put to use at once! But We were young and ignorant then, and truly could not compare with Cilang's youthful genius."

But We were young and ignorant then, and truly could not compare with Cilang's youthful genius.

Zhu Cilang was no youthful genius — clearly he had been swapped for the soul of a later-age scoundrel past forty!

Just as Zhu Youjian was sighing with emotion, the filial sons of the Great Ming came trooping in — all sons of the Chongzhen Retired Emperor, led by the Hongxing Son of Heaven Zhu Cilang, followed by Prince of Dai Zhu Cijiong, Commandery Prince of Luokun Zhu Cizhao, Commandery Prince of Chongqing Zhu Cihuan, Prince of Fu Zhu Cixuan, and a great crowd of other filial sons. Oh, and quite a few of the filial sons had not walked in on their own — they were carried in by wet nurses to kowtow and offer birthday wishes to the old birthday star, the Chongzhen Retired Emperor.

Chongzhen and Empress Zhou stopped chatting at once and hurriedly took their seats separately. Looking at the great crowd of sons, both could not help frowning.

The Chongzhen Retired Emperor had been somewhat excessively debauched these years! The number of his sons was approaching a hundred, and Chongzhen was only fifty this year, still in excellent health, dragon-mighty and tiger-fierce, fully capable of continuing to manufacture younger brothers for the wise sovereign Zhu Cilang. And Zhu Cilang was stingy too — the treatment he gave his brothers was five thousand mu of land plus one courtyard residence.

Even with a hundred brothers that was only five hundred thousand mu of land. And at first he had given paddy fields in the southeast; in recent years, after the north and the lands beyond the passes were recovered, the land granted to commandery princes was moved into the territory of Tianjin Prefecture and Tianhe Prefecture.

And the residences granted were getting smaller and smaller. What sort of prince was this? Clearly just a big landlord.

For the underage ones it was fine — for the time being they had no great expenses. The hardship fell on the grown children, especially Zhu Cihuan, who was twenty-five this year and had three consorts and concubines. He still had to keep guards, servants, and maids, did he not? All these expenses had to come out of those five thousand mu of land!

Life was hard — even a prince's household had no surplus grain. But Zhu Cihuan seemed in a fine mood today, beaming as if he were about to strike it rich! Chongzhen thought to himself: could it be that Cilang's conscience had stirred and he had granted him a lucrative post? A lucrative post was a good thing, but he feared the boy was too black-hearted and would squeeze too hard, and end up investigated by the Censorate!

"Your sons respectfully inquire after the Retired Emperor's sacred well-being, and wish the Retired Emperor ten thousand years and a thousand autumns, and fortune as vast as the Eastern Sea."

The filial sons knelt together and kowtowed to the Chongzhen Retired Emperor. After the kowtowing came the presentation of gifts. The gifts were not held in the hand — what they held were large red envelopes stuffed with gift lists or banknotes. Zhu Cilang was the first to present his father with a big red envelope, and said with a smile to Chongzhen: "Imperial Father, this is a small token from your son — ten special shares of the United States, for you to reward people with."

As he spoke, he glanced back at the crowd of brothers.

Ten special shares could be exchanged for a marquisate, or of course could be broken up and exchanged for ten baronies. A good man sets his sights on the four corners of the world! The princes of the Great Ming should not all stay in Yingtian Prefecture living off their elders — no, living off their good elder brother Zhu Cilang, should they?

Chongzhen accepted the red envelope and asked with a grin: "Our son, We saw on the gift list from the Ottoman Empire's embassy that there is one white slave girl of the Russian race. Why do We not see the person?"

Zhu Cilang cleared his throat and said with a solemn face: "Imperial Father, Russia is our enemy! This Russian woman is very likely an assassin, so she cannot be allowed near Imperial Father. Your son has already ordered her bound and sent to the Embroidered Uniform Guard!"

"So that is how it is." Chongzhen nodded. "Our son is indeed full of filial devotion, full of filial devotion!"

The filial-devoted Zhu Cilang had already slipped aside, and the Prince of Dai, Zhu Cijiong, came forward with his gift list to offer birthday wishes to the Chongzhen Retired Emperor.

Zhu Cijiong was the richest of all the princes. For over ten years he had been dealing with a pack of Shanxi profiteers, and had long since become a wealthy prince who knew how to manage unrighteous riches. He had opened up vast pasturelands within the territory of the Anbei Garrison, devoted to raising plow horses and mules; the Datong horses and Datong mules produced there were indispensable livestock for the great northern farms. This time he produced a banknote for one hundred thousand taels from the salt merchants' bank, stuffed into a big red envelope, which delighted Chongzhen beyond measure.

Next came the Commandery Prince of Luokun, Zhu Cizhao, to offer birthday wishes. Although he was a worthless commandery prince, he had his own territory — the region of Luokun, Songkhla, Krabi, Trang, Satun, Phatthalung, and Surat, originally belonging to the kingdom of Siam. At first it was called the Jinghai Army, and now it had been renamed the Western Ocean Army. This was a truly rich and prosperous place — not only did it open directly onto the Indian Ocean and allow trade with the land of India, but the land it occupied also abounded in rice.

So Zhu Cizhao's birthday gifts to the Chongzhen Retired Emperor were also very lavish — ivory, gems, jadeite, spices, and the like, worth at least tens of thousands of taels.

After Zhu Cizhao came the poor, hard-up Zhu Cihuan. He too came forward grinning and presented a gift list. Chongzhen took it and looked, and was immediately stunned. After a moment he asked: "Cihuan, you send such a heavy gift — is your household not going to live?"

Zhu Cihuan said joyfully to Chongzhen: "Imperial Father, your son has recently made a bit of money. Thinking that in the past I have never properly shown filial respect to Your Venerable Self, I prepared a generous gift this time. You must graciously accept it."

"Made money? You?" Chongzhen was taken aback, thinking: you silly child — you can make money too? You haven't taken bribes, have you? Just don't let the Censorate find out.

Seeing Chongzhen stunned, Zhu Cihuan laughed: "Imperial Father, your son heard people say that United States stock is guaranteed to rise if you buy it, so I mortgaged the princely residence for twenty thousand taels of silver and bought twenty shares. Three days ago United States stock was listed on the Shanghai Exchange, and it doubled the moment trading opened!"

(End of Chapter)