Chapter 535: Jiaoshou

Perspective shift.

Yuanban Ying sat on the sofa, trying to steady their breathing.

Sweat still clung to their body, and the school uniform was damp.

They felt as disheveled as a kitten just pulled out of water.

But more than the physical fatigue, what made them uncomfortable was the monkey in front of them.

It paced around the room, clutching the banana studded with electrodes in its paws, muttering under its breath.

"Dissection, you see, is an art."

It said, "Look, the human body is like a precise machine, each component has its function. The heart is the engine, the brain the processor, the blood vessels the circuitry... and within your body, there is a special component."

Then it halted, turned around, and the vortex-shaped lens aimed at Yuanban Ying.

"A component I've never seen before."

"So, Yuanban Ying."

"How have you considered it? Volunteering for science, how wonderful."

Yuanban Ying took a deep breath, trying to get their mind working.

(Calm... Calm... This guy wants to kill me, but I have to stall. San Yue Jie and my sister will definitely come to rescue me...)

They lifted their head, looked at the monkey face, and tried to make their tone sound calm:

"Before answering, may I ask a question?"

The monkey spread its hands, the gesture elegant beyond a monkey: "Of course. Please go ahead."

"What is your name?"

The monkey paused for a moment.

It looked down at itself, then looked up at Yuanban Ying, the expression as if saying, "Oh right, I haven't introduced myself yet."

"My apologies."

It placed the banana on the table, adjusted the collar of its white coat, cleared its throat, "I am Jiaoshou. 'Jiao' from banana, 'shou' from professor. You may call me Jiaoshou or Jiaojiao."

Yuanban Ying's mouth twitched.

"Jiaojiao... Jiaoshou?"

"Yes."

Jiaoshou nodded solemnly, "'Jiao' means banana; 'shou' means professor. Jiaoshou is the professor who studies bananas. It also carries the meaning of imparting banana principles—spreading truth to all beings."

Yuanban Ying fell silent.

They stared at the monkey in front of them, earnestly explaining its name, and for a moment didn't know what to say.

"... Who gave you this name?"

Jiaoshou brushed an imaginary beard on its chin, revealing a meaningfully lingering smile:

"The master bestowed it personally."

Yuanban Ying fell silent again.

They decided not to pursue the topic further, lest they suffer a premature hypertension episode.

"Alright, Jiaoshou." They inhaled deeply, "You just said my sister is a monkey?"

Jiaoshou nodded, expression serious as if discussing an academic matter.

"Precisely, Yuan Ban Lin did not turn into a monkey—she was a monkey from the start."

Yuanban Ying's blood pressure spiked instantly.

"My sister is not a monkey!"

Jiaoshou nodded, the expression so perfunctory it made one want to strike it.

It picked a banana from the fruit bowl beside it, leisurely peeled the skin, revealing the white flesh inside.

Then—crunch, crunch, it began to gnaw.

The manner of eating was exceedingly elegant; each bite was chewed evenly, swallowed calmly, as if savoring a fine dish.

Yuanban Ying stared at it, waiting for it to speak.

Jiaoshou took another bite.

Crunch, crunch.

Another bite.

Crunch, crunch.

Yuanban Ying's fist tightened.

Jiaoshou finally swallowed the last bite, tossed the banana peel aside, and wiped the corner of its mouth with a paw.

Then it looked at Yuanban Ying, its tone sincerely shocking:

"Yes, you're right."

Yuanban Ying was startled.

"Yuan Ban Lin is not a monkey."

Jiaoshou nodded, expression sincere.

Yuanban Ying hadn't had time to exhale when it added another sentence:

"She, of course, is not an ordinary monkey—she is the Monkey King."

Yuanban Ying: "………………"

Their face darkened.

Jiaoshou didn't notice Yuanban Ying's change in expression, and continued on its own:

"You see, the evidence is obvious. When she speaks, she adds the Banana Character at the end of sentences, a hallmark of the Monkey Tribe's language. She is lively, energetic, loves to hop around—typical Monkey Tribe behavior. She also has a pink‑fur companion; though that pink‑fur doesn't look like a monkey, being able to mingle with the Monkey King means it's certainly not a proper human..."

"You give me Shut Up!"

Yuanban Ying finally couldn't hold back, propping herself on the sofa and sitting upright, pointing at Jiaoshou's nose, "My sister is not Monkeys! She adds 'Jia' when she talks because—because—"

She got stuck.

Because she also doesn't know why her sister adds "Jia".

Jiaoshou tilted his head and looked at her, his expression as if saying: Look, you can't even give a reason yourself.

It again picked up a banana from the fruit tray, this time leaving the peel on, and gently tapped the banana with its claw, producing a "dong dong" sound.

"Tohsaka Yuanban Ying classmate, I know it's hard for you to accept."

Its tone softened, carrying a kindly pity, "But fact is fact. Your sister is a Monkey, you are a Monkey's sister, you have a special power within you—this is all destiny."

Yuanban Ying's blood pressure had already spiked to a historic high.

"I'm not a Monkey's sister!"

"Right, right, right, not not."

Jiaoshou nodded like crushing garlic, his tone perfunctory as if coaxing a child, "You're right, Yuan Ban Lin is not a Monkey, you are human, your whole family is human. Satisfied?"

Yuanban Ying's fists clenched, making a "gurgle" sound.

She has lived seventeen years and has never before wanted to beat a Monkey like this.

Jiaoshou didn't sense any killing intent from her; instead, he enthusiastically nudged the thing on the table—a tray holding several bananas and a glass of water.

"Here, eat a banana, drink water. Look, you've sweated so much, your lips are dry, you're definitely both thirsty and tired, right?"

Yuanban Ying looked at the banana and the water, and her throat moved.

Indeed.

She truly was both thirsty and tired.

She had just climbed fifty floors, sweated profusely, and now, after sitting down to calm herself for a moment, that thirst surged wildly.

Her lips were cracked dry, and her throat felt like it was smoking.

But that thing belongs to a Monkey.

If there's a problem…

Yuanban Ying clenched her teeth and averted her gaze.

"No need."

Jiaoshou shrugged and put it away.

"What a pity. This water is from my lab, and it's said that drinking it makes people smarter."

Yuanban Ying's mouth twitched again.

She wanted to say "Then why are you still so foolish", but Reason String told her not to provoke this Monkey.

At that moment—

"Boom—!!!"

A huge roar came from outside!

The sound shook the whole building, making the windows hum!

Yuanban Ying suddenly looked toward the window.

Jiaoshou also stopped his banana-eating.

It walked to the massive floor-to-ceiling glass window and stuck its head out to look down.

"Tsk tsk tsk."

Its tone carried a hint of awe, "Brilliant, truly brilliant."

Yuanban Ying wanted to go see what happened, but her legs wouldn't obey.

She braced the sofa armrest to stand, but halfway up her leg gave way and she fell back.

She wanted to cry but had no tears.

Jiaoshou turned back and gave her a glance, his eyes tinged with mockery.

"Don't you want to come and see?"

Yuanban Ying bit her lip, giving no answer.

Jiaoshou turned his head back and kept watching the scene.

Outside the window, on the distant horizon, a faint streak of light flashed across the sky and then vanished behind the cluster of buildings.

It was followed by several "boom rumble" sounds.

Jiaoshou clicked his tongue in amazement:

"That Monkey was knocked flying. No, it should be—knocked even farther. Tsk tsk, now it's at least five kilometers away, right?"

Then he turned back, the vortex-shaped lens aimed at her.

"You really won't come and see?"

Yuanban Ying: "……"

She clenched her teeth, braced the sofa armrest to stand—her leg still trembled, she couldn't steady herself.

She fell back down to sit, her face full of helplessness and grievance.

Jiaoshou looked at her demeanor, his tone laced with obvious sarcasm:

"What a splendid baseball game, too bad you can't see it."

Yuanban Ying's fists hardened again.

(This Monkey... definitely did it on purpose!)