Chapter 1044: Look at the Results

Dajinya leaned into He Yuzhu's ear and said sneakily, "Damao has blossomed into a second spring again. A while back, he hooked up with a girl who works in sales; she's only twenty-three."

He Yuzhu glanced at Xu Damao, the corners of his mouth curling up, and said slowly, "Damao hasn't had it easy all these years. If he finds a good girl, I don't see anything wrong with that."

Upon hearing this, Xu Damao's face immediately bloomed with joy, and he pointed a finger at Dajinya: "Zhuzi is still the most open-minded and sensible one! Dajinya, you brat, you're being unprincipled. I'm your Siqiang; don't think that just because your Siqiang is gone, you can stop treating me like someone important."

Hu Bayi, who was nearby with a cigarette in his mouth, chuckled and chimed in, "Recently, Damao has been planning to go to Korea for cosmetic surgery. He says he's envious of how Master He looks like he's in his early thirties, so he wants to get a facelift and bone contouring too. I was just wondering, once he's done, do you think customs will even let him back in?"

Xu Damao got agitated on the spot, slapping the table and cursing, "I'm not short on money now, so what if I get some cosmetic work done? Which of those Hong Kong folks doesn't do it? I heard they even get injections of some 'hyaluronic acid' or whatever; what's wrong with me trying that too!"

When He Yuzhu heard this, he burst into laughter: "Hyaluronic acid is something used in medicine for fillers; we already have it in our eyeballs and joints. The 'uric acid' you're talking about is a byproduct of the human body metabolizing purines. They're two completely different things."

Hu Bayi laughed heartily and landed a final blow: "Damao, if you like uric acid so much, just learn from the southerners and eat eggs boiled in virgin boy urine. No need for injections, it's all-natural, and it saves money."

Xu Damao stood up with a start, ready to kick Hu Bayi.

Wang Pangzi, holding a teacup nearby, said slowly, "Damao got drunk that day and secretly confessed to me that his 'thing' hasn't been working too well for a long time. He just likes finding a young girl to keep him company for the sake of peace of mind."

Once the others heard this, they burst into uproarious laughter, laughing so hard it felt like the roof was about to be blown off.

Xu Damao was so embarrassed his old face turned bright red, and he slapped the table, shouting, "Are you bastards ever going to stop? I'm sixty-four this year; isn't it normal for it not to work anymore?"

Dajinya chuckled, eyeing He Yuzhu: "Look at Master Zhuzi here; he looks like a young man in his thirties. Master Zhuzi, if I were you, I'd just get a new ID card and write 'thirty-five' on it; it'd be easier to pick up girls in the future."

He Yuzhu glared at him irritably: "Why would I go get a fake ID?"

No sooner had he finished speaking than he saw a flicker in Xu Damao's eyes, and he suddenly saw through it: "Damao, have you been thinking about doing that?"

Dajinya had a loose tongue and was quick to expose the truth, rattling it all off: "Of course he has! Last time he took a fancy to a woman from a life insurance company. She looked pretty hot, about thirty-five or thirty-six. Damao was thinking about getting a fake ID to change his age to forty-nine so he could be on equal footing with her."

He Yuzhu became interested and leaned back in his chair: "And then?"

Hu Bayi took over the conversation, his shoulders shaking with laughter: "And then? After the woman sold him the insurance, she told Damao that even though she cares a lot about money, she doesn't want to spend her days with an old man, especially without any status or title."

Xu Damao kicked the leg of Hu Bayi's chair: "You old bastards are really something! Hu Bayi is chasing Miss Yang, Wang Pangzi is chasing Lingzi; aren't you guys doing the same thing? Especially Pangzi, going to her bar every single day, sitting there for the whole night, and checking himself in the mirror every day!"

"I was single at the time," Wang Pangzi retorted righteously.

Upon hearing this, Xu Damao couldn't be bothered to argue with him anymore. He pointed his finger at He Yuzhu: "I just envy Master He; his health is truly excellent. Even if all of us teamed up, we couldn't beat him."

Hu Bayi added, "Master He isn't even human to begin with; he's an immortal descended to earth. Master He, do you really have some secret technique for preserving youth? If you do, don't keep it to yourself. Tell us about it; otherwise, if we all die, you'll be lonely all by yourself, won't you!"

Wang Pangzi quickly leaned in, his face full of flattery: "If you really have one, give us the scoop, brother? We've been friends for nearly twenty years; you can't hog all the good stuff."

He Yuzhu nodded, slowly pulled a small bottle from his pocket, and shook it in front of them: "This stuff works, but it's expensive—two hundred million US dollars."

Dajinya waved his hands vigorously: "Master He, that's way too expensive!"

"How many years of youth can this thing give a person?" Hu Bayi asked.

Xu Damao was quick-handed, snatched the small bottle, and looked at it over and over: "Zhuzi, if you have such a good thing, why didn't you tell your brothers years ago? Even if we had to pool our money, we would have wanted to supplement ourselves!"

Dajinya reminded him: "Uncle Damao, this medicine costs two hundred million US dollars! Didn't you hear?"

"Impossible! Zhuzi is just teasing us!" Xu Damao said with a cheeky grin.

He Yuzhu took the bottle back and said, "This isn't a miracle cure; it just makes you age a bit slower. Turning back the clock is unlikely. You see how much money I make? I spend it all on buying this stuff for my family to drink."

Xu Damao's eyes rolled, and he rubbed his hands together: "One million US dollars—how about we pool our money and buy this bottle?"

He Yuzhu said with a smile: "Twenty years ago, this stuff was already worth two hundred million US dollars; I couldn't afford it then either. But I'll contribute this bottle; you guys can each have a little, try it out, and you'll understand the efficacy!"

Upon hearing the price, Xu Damao immediately shrank his neck: "Too expensive, I'd better go to Korea for a facelift!"

He Yuzhu was so amused he laughed, then set the bottle down on the table with a thud: "I've been making a lot of money lately. As the saying goes, ill-gotten gains should be spent quickly. Even I can't bear to drink much of this two-hundred-million-dollar-a-bottle medicine myself, so today, consider it a gift from me!"

Xu Damao leaned in with a cheeky grin: "Master Zhuzi, don't be angry! This medicine is only enough for one sip each; can it really work?"

Wang Pangzi was sucking his teeth nearby: "Hey, Damao, why do you have so much nonsense to say? Do you think Master He would ever harm us?"

"It's not that I don't trust Master Zhuzi, I'm just afraid Master Zhuzi was cheated by someone else," Xu Damao said, sticking his neck out stubbornly.

Hu Bayi, a die-hard fan of He Yuzhu, didn't say a word, picked up the bottle, unscrewed the cap, and drank a third of it in one gulp.

Less than half a minute after drinking it, he felt his whole body heating up, as if ants were crawling through his bone marrow; it was an unbearable, itchy sensation.

His face was bright red, and he clenched his fists: "Master He, why do I feel so uncomfortable all over?"

He Yuzhu waved his hand with a smile: "Don't panic. This stuff is just clearing out all the dead and inactive cells in your body, so of course it's uncomfortable. Bear with it; once the new cells grow, you'll feel like a completely different person."

After five or six minutes, Hu Bayi started sweating all over, and a layer of black, foul-smelling gunk seeped out of his skin, as if he had been fished out of a mud pit.

Once all this stuff was expelled, he let out a long breath, feeling refreshed all over. Every pore felt invigorated, and his entire body felt as if he had been given a new skeleton, with an endless supply of strength.

He casually picked up the iron weight the security guards usually used for arm training and swung it back and forth a few times as easily as if it were an egg. His face was glowing, and his eyes were bright.

He set the iron weight down on the floor with a thud, his voice filled with excitement: "Master He, this is too incredible! I feel like I could kill a cow with one punch right now!"

When Dajinya and Xu Damao saw that the medicine really worked, their eyes turned red, and they rushed forward to grab the small bottle.

But Wang Pangzi grabbed it first, protecting the bottle with a grin: "Don't grab, don't grab! I don't trust you guys, but I, Wang Kaixuan, am the most fair. Let's take three small wine glasses and divide what's left evenly; no one gets more, no one gets less."

He Yuzhu pulled three small wine glasses from his pocket and handed them over.

Wang Pangzi poured the Spirit Spring Water like he was pouring Moutai, first pouring a little into each of the three glasses, then adding a bit more little by little, going back and forth several times until the Spirit Spring Water in the three glasses was almost identical, without the slightest difference.

He Yuzhu lit a cigarette, smoked slowly, and leaned back in his chair, watching the three of them acting like fools.

He thought to himself that Hu Bayi was the only one who did things cleanly and efficiently; the other three were just there to make up the numbers.

The three of them each picked up their glass of Spirit Spring Water, looked at each other, tilted their heads back, and drank it all in one gulp.

With Hu Bayi having set the example, they weren't as afraid of the feeling of physical discomfort.

Each of them held their breath and endured it until they were drenched in sweat and the filth was expelled from their pores, as if they had shed a layer of skin.

The three of them let out a long sigh in unison, as if a great burden had been lifted.

Dajinya was the first to jump up, bent his waist down hard, and shouted in surprise: "Damn, this is amazing! My lumbar muscle strain seems to be gone!" As he said this, he twisted back and forth a few times, his back straight as a rod.

Wang Pangzi rubbed his stomach and smacked his lips: "My stomach has always been bad, always aching faintly. After drinking this, all the problems are gone. I feel like I've become more than ten years younger, and I have endless strength in my body."

He Yuzhu smiled and glanced at Xu Damao: "Damao, does your 'down there' feel like it's working better too?"

Xu Damao slapped his thigh, his face beaming: "Amazing! It really feels great!"

The room immediately erupted in laughter, as lively as a New Year's celebration.

He Yuzhu stubbed out his cigarette and straightened his expression: "Brothers, I won't lie to you—I feel like you've all become five years younger. From now on, you'd better work hard and strive to run the pharmaceutical factory well!"