Chapter 373

"The Queen's dowry of birdseed is absolutely irresistible."

Even Zhang Zhang Jie of Water Margin, the initiator of this battle, nodded in reluctant agreement.

How could a queen bearing the most valuable dowry in Chinese history be a fraud?

The names Wei and Huo, the twin pillars of the empire, ring thunderously in every Chinese ear.

Though the "flying general" in "If only the flying general of Longcheng were here, no barbarian horses would cross the Yin Mountains" is generally thought to be the ill-fated Li Guang,

later generations have begun to argue that this "flying general" should refer to Wei Qing.

After all, although Li Guang possessed peerless martial skill and could shoot arrows through stone,

his ability as a commander was frankly hard to swallow,

He barely won any battles in his life, and even lost the decisive Northern Desert campaign by getting lost,

and he lost Zhang Qian, the living map, earning him the nickname "Marquis of Getting Lost" from netizens.

Most bafflingly, he was a minister of Emperor Jing of Han,

yet during the Rebellion of the Seven States, he accepted the general's seal and rewards from Prince Liang.

Though Emperor Jing and Prince Liang were full brothers and outwardly displayed brotherly affection,

what brotherly bond exists before imperial power?

Especially not under Emperor Jing, known for his cruelty and lack of mercy.

One could say Li Guang's failure to be enfeoffed was mostly due to his terrible political instincts and worse luck.

As for Huo Qubing, he was simply extraordinary—the one-of-a-kind Marquis of Champion!

His battlefield achievements, if transplanted to the 21st century, would be like sending a small detachment southward

merely to intimidate, only for him to capture a certain golden-haired old man alive.

Without Wei Zifu bringing forth Wei Qing and Huo Qubing, the twin pillars of the empire,

the four-hundred-year Han might have collapsed under Liu Xiaozhu's rule.

After all, the Xiongnu were a nomadic empire with over a million mounted archers.

"But Miss Ding of Mount Emei is an orphan adopted by Abbess Miejue,

with no siblings, nieces, or nephews!"

At this moment, Pirate Zhang Zhang Jie raised his hand weakly.

Zhuan Yi Tian Zhang Zhang Jie fumed: "Who has such poor taste, deliberately picking the unopened pot?

Does Miss Ding have siblings or nephews? Doesn't her husband, me, know better than you?"

Yet seeing Pirate Zhang Zhang Jie's arms thicker than his own thighs, he wisely buried his resentment inside.

"Is that love?

You're just lusting after her body—you're base!"

The Consuming Zhang Zhang Jie sharply labeled Zhuan Yi Tian Zhang Zhang Jie's behavior of eating from the bowl while eyeing the pot.

"What's wrong with me?

I'm just trying to give my brothers more warm homes."

Exposed, Zhuan Yi Tian Zhang Zhang Jie blushed deeply and stammered in defense,

muttering things like "What's wrong with a man being lustful?" "Confucius said,

'Food and sex are human nature'—I'm just releasing human instinct."

And other bizarre claims like "I've already restrained myself by not capturing every female disciple of Mount Emei!"

"Hahahaha(((o(*? ▽? *)o)))!"

The other Zhang Jies burst into laughter, and the entire shared space filled with mirth.

"Heh, you're still laughing? Think about your own history—can you still laugh?"

Having silenced the instigating Zhuan Yi Tian Zhang Zhang Jie, Water Margin Zhang Zhang Jie turned his spear toward the main critic—Tianlong Zhang Zhang Jie.

"Me? What's wrong with my history?"

Tianlong Zhang Zhang Jie looked utterly confused, as if he had no idea what Water Margin Zhang Zhang Jie was referring to.

"Miss Wang and Lady Wang."

Facing Tianlong Zhang Zhang Jie's feigned ignorance, Water Margin Zhang Zhang Jie spat out two key terms.

"Scum!"

The other Zhang Jies stared at him with looks of utter contempt (a mix of envy, jealousy, and hatred).

After securing Miss Wang Wang Yuyan,

this guy still tangled with the Nan Murong family's Zhu Bi sisters, Zhu Zhu and Bi Bi—fine, that's bad enough—

but what disgusted the Zhang Jies (and made them secretly envious) was that on a dark, windy night,

he seduced Lady Wang, lonely and yearning.

One was a young man with profound cultivation and fierce vitality;

the other, a long-abandoned mature woman—pure lightning striking dry tinder, utterly uncontrollable.

Yet in the end, Tianlong Zhang Zhang Jie, burdened with obligations, still outclassed them all,

successfully making the previously dissatisfied Lady Wang submit to him.

In short: Tianlong Zhang Zhang Jie ate the chicken leg with egg rice bowl.

"Brothers, I still prefer old cars—the body lines are clean…"

Tianlong Zhang Zhang Jie, far from ashamed, proudly shared his insights with the other Zhang Jies.

"Eh!"

The other Zhang Jies all raised their middle fingers in mock friendship.

"This car isn't a public bus anyone can ride,

but it's not a private car with only one driver either.

You're driving it now—aren't you afraid the original driver might come back behind the wheel someday?"

The Consuming Zhang Zhang Jie spoke with a gloomy tone.

It's well known that Duan Duan Zhengchun, the former top scoundrel of Tianlong, though a scoundrel, still had charisma.

Among his many mistresses—Gan Feng Baobao, Li Li Qingluo, Qin Qin Hongmian,

and Ruan Ruan Xingzhu—all remained deeply devoted to him, their feelings unchanged even after years.

Only Kang Min, who had been supremely self-centered since childhood, didn't insist on him alone.

Yet even after choosing Ma Ma Dayuan, the deputy chief of the Beggar's Sect, as her replacement,

she still secretly longed for the once-charming Prince Duan.

What if one day Prince Duan came to Jiangnan's Suzhou for a visit

and suddenly remembered he had a car he hadn't driven in ages, and decided to take it for a spin?

Wouldn't all our Zhang Jies then be wearing green hats?

Zhong Zhong Wanchou, lord of Zhong Wanchou Valley, is a living example.

In the TV series, Prince Duan used secret tunnels to meet Gan Feng Baobao.

Though Gan Feng Baobao scolded him with feigned indignation,

her body eagerly embraced her old lover.

Just imagining their own heads turning green, all the Zhang Jies felt uneasy.

When did it ever turn around—when did we Zhang Jies become the victims instead of the perpetrators?