Chapter 2: with translation of chapter title

Eunuch 2 (Eunuch not easy)

After nightfall, the exhausted eunuchs lay side by side in the dark, narrow Grand Dormitory.

The emperor in the palace lusts after beauty; the three palaces and six courtyards are all filled with beauties. As the number of beauties grows, those serving them must keep up, causing the palace population to become overcrowded.

Even low-ranking consorts have to share a small courtyard with several others, let alone these low-ranking eunuchs; unless they rise to middle rank, they are destined to sleep in the Grand Dormitory.

Jiang He turned over with difficulty, his breathing a little labored.

After a certain item belonging to the eunuch disappeared, his urinary system followed suit and collapsed; normally he could only sprinkle perfume to mask his bodily odor, and with no conditions for daily washing, and poor ventilation in the room, the smell in this place was truly maddening.

No wonder everyone wants to climb up; he now longs to luxuriously have a single room to himself.

To Jiang He's left slept a tall eunuch, and to his right was the similarly burly Song Gonggong; sandwiched in the middle, he was small, pitiful, and helpless, able only to barely sleep on his side—truly "flanked by men".

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"Little He, your body is so soft." Song Gonggong, smacking his lips in his deep sleep, rolled over and pressed Jiang He down, saying, "Let me kiss you..."

His back was being randomly groped, and that hand kept moving downward...

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Damn it, whether you're really asleep or pretending, get lost!

Jiang He's eyes flashed with menace; he grabbed a certain acupoint on Song Gonggong's body and then violently shoved the heavy eunuch away, showing no mercy—don't think a child is easy to bully.

With a "thud," that was the sound of his head heavily striking the ceramic pillow, especially noticeable in the silent darkness.

Just hearing that sound gave the illusion that his skull might have been split open.

In an instant, the snoring and teeth-grinding in the room seemed to vanish entirely, even the sound of breathing became barely perceptible.

Until Song Gonggong's snore—whether from deep sleep or faint—resounded again through the room did the air begin to flow once more.

In the darkness someone sighed regretfully, "Can't see the good show now; go to sleep, go to sleep, we still have to get up early tomorrow to work!"

That sigh was a bit loud, and the nearby eunuch couldn't help but open his eyes and look over.

The eunuch who made the sound felt a little embarrassed, only then realizing that actually nobody had been asleep.

The two hastily closed their eyes, sure that others were still awake too, everyone wanting to watch the live spring palace.

As low-ranking eunuchs in this palace, their work is plentiful and exhausting, and they often face mortal danger; over time their dispositions have become twisted—if Xiao He were truly taken by Song Gonggong, they would surely just stand by and add it to the gossip.

Yang Gonggong, sleeping by the window, kept his eyes open, gazing at the cold moonlight outside; after a long while he finally closed his eyes, silently thinking, "Fortunately Xiao Song knows his limits, otherwise I wouldn't be able to save him later."

As the night grew deeper, the snores in the Grand Dormitory rose and fell in waves.

In the darkness, Jiang He casually tossed out a colorless, tasteless sleeping draught that plunged everyone into an even deeper sleep.

Don't ask where he got the sleeping drug; the palace is full of plants, at least ten of which have hypnotic effects that he could find.

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The night wind was cool, the crescent moon sank into the dark clouds; the night was so black you couldn't see your hand in front of your face, only scattered lanterns gave off a faint yellow glow.

Emperor Liang Kang was pulling the beauty along, exerting himself, hoping to still father a prince to prove his sword was not yet dull.

"Beauty, give me a son and I'll promote your rank!"

That beauty was merely a fifteen- or sixteen-year-old girl; she buried her face in the emperor's sagging chest, her mind torn apart.

If she bore a child, after ten months of pregnancy the lustful emperor would have already shifted his interest, and even after giving birth she might not gain his favor; but if she didn't bear a child, lacking a child to rely on, when she grew old and faded she would still have no hope.

Jiang He lay prone on the roof, beside him the royal secret guard he had knocked out.

A drug capable of hypnotizing the secret guards is exceedingly rare; he must use it sparingly, and perhaps reduce how often he watches the emperor from now on.

On the roof, Jiang He silently counted to ten in his heart; by then the emperor in the bedchamber had already collapsed atop the beauty, completely unconscious.

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Jiang He lightly flipped into the bedchamber, approached the bed, and first gently lifted the emperor's face, at the same time revealing the beauty's face as well.

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She thought that by burying her face in the emperor's chest, the old emperor wouldn't notice her disdain—was that enough? For a creature as suspicious as an emperor, if you want to deceive him, you must first deceive yourself!

Jiang He leisurely poured the pre-prepared medicine into the emperor's mouth, and, being very considerate, did not move the two of them, letting them keep their original pose so that when they woke they could still continue their work.

A few minutes later, the emperor opened his eyes, involuntarily shaking his head, wondering if he had just spaced out.

Oh, it must be from sheer joy! This beauty is not bad; what's her surname again? Next time I can draw her card a few more times.

Neither the emperor nor the beauty noticed the brief blank in their memory layers; one thought he was just too happy, the other thought he had endured too long, wishing time would hurry by.

The secret guard lying on the roof stared blankly at the sky, likewise without a hint of suspicion; after all, for those who have long guarded the emperor, it's normal to occasionally, after confirming safety, take a brief nap to preserve stamina.

Moreover, it's not just him guarding the emperor's safety here; there's another secret guard over by that tree as well.

He thought that, unaware that the secret guard in the tree was thinking the same thing.

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After dawn, the palace bustled again, the eunuchs in the Grand Dormitory busy as bees, their heels kicking their own buttocks.

In the Yuhuayuan, a boy with downcast eyes bent over, scissors in hand, trimming a precious pot of Mu Dan; because of his posture, his slender waist and back, beautiful as a bowstring, became evident.

Jiang He, holding the scissors, sharply turned his head; over there, a few burly eunuchs couldn't help but have their eyes light up, reflexively swallowing their saliva.

He deliberately edged close to Jiang He, lowering his head slightly; that posture made Jiang He's eye twitch—after all, we're all men—though lacking certain parts, men still know what they want to do.

Wang Gonggong glanced again at Jiang He's face, regretting that this place wasn't safe enough, otherwise...

The Wang Gonggong opposite hadn't caught a word clearly, only hearing the name "Song Gonggong."

Jiang He approached expressionlessly, eyes downcast, "Little He greets the several eunuchs."

"Not so common—for instance, glaring at someone makes them pregnant, kissing someone turns them into a frog, touching someone brings them bad luck… the more character traits, the more halos."

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This is an hint—no, it's practically an outright indication; these lackeys laughed with particular ambiguity.

He wore a blue eunuch's uniform; although everyone wore blue, on him it looked especially fitting.

Over there, the eunuch whose clothes had inconspicuous floral embroidery on the cuffs and collar and better fabric quality smiled lecherously; he was the leader of this group of eunuchs.

"No no no..." the system said ever softer, "The point is to go up!"

"Of course there's a problem!" the system looked at him bewildered, "Didn't I say, his family the Jiangs have achievements that threaten the sovereign..."

Actually he was already used to such things; when doing missions before, he had all sorts of strange halos on him. But back then he was at least a normal man; his wife's high status could deter those who harbored ill intentions toward him, so he wasn't worried at all.

He only wanted to know the original host's situation; he had no interest in those inexplicable halos—a real man doesn't need halos.

Wang Gonggong's brows knitted, his expression displeased.

It wasn't that he was forced to wear it; it was the original host's innate halo, and now that he has become the original host, the halo has become his.

Seeing this, Jiang He knew his guess was correct; he even felt the urge to kill.

Jiang He fell silent for a moment, then finally couldn't hold back and acted.

The young soldier beside him was quite perceptive, saying, "Our Wang Gonggong serves in Consort Shu's palace; he holds high rank and great power..."

It gave him a 'you know what I mean' look, even though as a round ball it didn't know how to show such an expression.

After a while, he wiped his face, finally calmed down, and said, 'Speak!'

So it really wasn't it causing trouble.

But now... a little eunuch?

The system gathered courage, 'Actually, the original host has a special, extremely rare halo, innate, not something bestowed from outside!'

'Huh?' the system wondered, 'What debuff could a eunuch in a feudal society have? It's not like a death god possessing someone in a literary work...'

Wang Gonggong? Wang Gonggong? I'm even Miao Gonggong.

Finally the system boomed, letting the host know that there are many halos in these worlds.

Jiang He's mind went blank for a moment, yet he still clung to a sliver of hope, 'So, the point is love?'

Jiang He lowered his head, smiling a bit shyly, fitting his current age, his tone timid, 'This humble, this humble... Song Gonggong...' he mumbled a few words.

'Host.' The system wanted to cry; it never expected its luck to be so bad as to draw this mission.

Jiang He had a bad premonition: 'For example...'

They only felt their eyes light up, the spring light seeming a bit brighter.

He roared in his sea of consciousness: 'System, get lost!'

Reluctantly parting, he shoved a handkerchief stained with the low-quality powder used by eunuchs into Jiang He's hands, telling him to keep it; this was a token.

The system puffed out its chest and boomed: 'The halo on the original host is called—Everyone Falls for the Eunuch!'

Jiang He subtly moved his hand away, preventing contact; the large scissors turned lightly in his hand, not heavy at all.

'You're Xiao Hezi?' He reached out to grip the large scissors in Jiang He's hand, exclaiming, 'Looking at your build, you're not old, are you? This scissor is too heavy; work must be tough.' He suggestively wanted to seize the youth's fair, tender hand, 'Want to switch jobs?'

Jiang He cut off the chattering system, 'So? What is on the original host?'

Song Gonggong?

Jiang He actually didn't mind becoming a eunuch; for a mission, turning into anything is normal, he isn't that picky, but he feels the original host's identity is problematic.

'Is the original host's identity problematic?'

Jiang He felt nauseous and tossed the powdered handkerchief aside, feeling that any hand touching it was dirty; he washed his hands repeatedly in disgust, almost scrubbing off his skin.

'The shop has all kinds of cheats and halos; host, do you know how they come about?' The system first asked, seeing Jiang He silent, then continued softly, 'For example, this death-god possession comes from a certain detective world, was captured by the shop, researched, and put on shelves for sale; plus halos for male and female leads are even more common—pretty much every world has this sort of thing...'

The system rolled about especially smoothly; it never expected the host to care so much about being a eunuch, making the mission restless.

It spoke softer and softer, finally falling silent; the whole ball lunged onto the ground, striving to kneel smoothly so the host could see its sincerity.

Jiang He gave a cold snort, finally accepting the inexplicable halo placed on him.

'Xiao Hezi, wait for me!' Wang Gonggong said suggestively.

No wonder this world has restarted twice and is about to collapse; it's actually because the original host's body is off, increasing the difficulty.

In the warm spring day, that exquisite youth was beautiful as the Luo goddess emerging from the water.

Anyway, you don't need to hear it clearly; Song Gonggong is either this little eunuch's superior or his lover—either way, it's an obstacle!

'Not that!' Jiang He interrupted it, face full of killing intent, 'Let me see if he has any debuff!'

The system let out a wail, being squashed from a circle into an oval; finally it crouched in the corner of the small dark room, trembling as it cried, not daring to be too loud lest the violent host beat it round again.

Jiang He almost vomited, his nerves jumping back and forth between breaking point and not.

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