Chapter 18: Chapter Eighteen: Two Paths

In the deep night of Jingcheng’s streets, members of the Qingya Literature Society stumbled home in groups, occasionally shouting out nonsensical verses that drew stares from passersby.

Poets drunk are wild and unrestrained; they don’t care what others think!

Lu Jingyao had also been drinking tonight; her head spun and her legs wobbled, yet she felt no trace of joyful abandon.

The dinner bill wasn’t hers to pay—but it hurt more than if she had paid it herself.

She’d planned to borrow from He Xue and a few close classmates, grit her teeth, and scrape together the money, but He Xue “accidentally” let the secret slip.

Qian Shun immediately stepped forward to pay the bill, took Lu Jingyao’s hand, and offered her many words of comfort.

“We’re all sisters; if you ever need help, just speak up. Money is external, but friendship and emotion last forever...”

Qian Shun’s words sounded sincere and heartfelt, but at that moment, Lu Jingyao only felt the rubbing of his palm, saw the heat in his eyes, and smelled the stench of his drunken breath.

Revolted, Lu Jingyao clearly stated right then that the money counted as a loan from Qian Shun, and she would repay it.

But He Xue and the others seized the chance to tease her, laughing and asking, “How will you repay it? Just give yourself to him?”

Only when Lu Jingyao nearly walked out did everyone calm down and claim they were only “joking.”

But Lu Jingyao had secretly decided: she would repay Qian Shun as soon as possible and cut all further ties.

But as if fate mocked her, when the group returned to the Foreign Languages Academy and prepared to part ways for their dorms, Qian Shun blocked Lu Jingyao’s path.

“Jingyao, walk with me for a bit!”

“..........”

In the deep night of the 1980s, a man and woman walking together alone was practically equivalent to dating.

Back then, there was even a term—“pressing the road”—used specifically for the intimate behavior of couples.

Lu Jingyao wouldn’t fall for it; she was certain that if she went for a “casual walk” with Qian Shun tonight, tomorrow the campus would be buzzing with rumors that they were a couple.

In this era of gossip, what’s false could quickly become true.

“No thank you, Senior Qian. It’s very late now; it’s not appropriate.”

Lu Jingyao refused Qian Shun calmly and firmly, then turned and walked toward the women’s dormitory.

But Qian Shun hurried after her: “Jingyao, don’t misunderstand. I just have so many inspirations right now—I want to discuss them with someone, [23] and you’re the most gifted among us; only you are worthy of a spiritual resonance with me........”

And you are the most gifted among us; only you are worthy to resonate with me on a spiritual level...”

Lu Jingyao walked fast; Qian Shun chased urgently. Even as they reached the women’s dormitory, he still didn’t give up.

Come on—it was thirty yuan!

He’d spent a worker’s entire monthly wage and hadn’t even held her hand—just a quick touch and then done? Was he Qian Shun an idiot?

Qian Shun wasn’t an idiot, but Lu Jingyao wasn’t either.

Every beautiful girl grows up enduring a few harassments; Qian Shun’s blunt, urgent desire was transparent to Lu Jingyao at a glance.

She spoke sharply: “I’m truly sorry, Senior Qian. I have no interest in being alone with you. As for the money I owe you, I’ll repay it fully next month.”

“.........”

Qian Shun froze in place. He never imagined Lu Jingyao, who always seemed soft and easy to bully, would show such cold disregard.

Her attitude now was barely short of shouting, “You pervert, get away from me!”

Qian Shun’s face darkened from red to black, twisting into a menacing snarl.

“Repay next month? How? Starve yourself for a month?”

“Do you really think you’re valuable? Do you know it was me who smoothed things over with the school journal to get your work published?”

“You’re a girl from the countryside—do you know how precious a Jingcheng person’s kindness is? Do you know how unassailable a Jingcheng person’s dignity is.......”

Under the influence of alcohol, Qian Shun finally unleashed his inner rage—and it spiraled out of control.

Lu Jingyao staggered back in shock, then turned and fled desperately up the women’s dormitory stairs.

She feared that if she moved a second slower, the drunkard would pounce like a starving wolf.

Lu Jingyao ran all the way into the dorm; only then did her fear fade, replaced by rising fury and bitter resentment.

“Money, money, money—why is it always about money? Must my whole life be bound by it, stripped of freedom?”

Lu Jingyao burst into tears.

Since she could remember, her family had always been trapped by “money.”

Her father was only a high school graduate, a private teacher; his meager monthly salary barely sustained a family of five.

If not for her father’s stubborn devotion to education, Lu Jingyao—the “money-burning girl”—would have dropped out after junior high.

Even with extreme frugality, a high school student’s annual expenses ran into dozens of yuan—a crushing burden for the impoverished Lu family.

But last winter, their house collapsed under heavy snow, and her mother’s lung illness relapsed; it seemed they’d truly hit rock bottom—had it not been for Li Ye........

At this thought, Lu Jingyao suddenly swayed, nearly falling.

Back then, Li Ye had been very much like Qian Shun.

He came from a well-off family, never lacked pocket money, and had shown clear admiration for Lu Jingyao.

But Li Ye was not the prince of her dreams.

He didn’t understand poetry or literature, didn’t study well, and always grinned at her like a foolish boy—his awkward youthfulness always embarrassed her.

In short, Li Ye was useless except for being tall and handsome.

But when Li’s family arrived with 120 yuan and half a cart of betrothal gifts, Lu Jingyao helplessly accepted reality.

Their roof was replaced, her mother’s illness cured, Li Ye’s pocket money swept away years of gloom from the Lu household, filling it with laughter.

During those days, Lu Jingyao felt both happiness and oppression; she didn’t know what status she’d hold in the family after owing such a massive debt.

Would she become like the vine in poetry—only able to cling to a tree, forever its appendage?

But then, a turning point came.

In that year and more, Lu Jingyao no longer needed to skip class frequently to help her mother work; she hired an English tutor, her grades soared, and she passed the college entrance exam.

Li Ye remained the same foolish, handsome boy with mediocre grades.

On the night she received her university acceptance letter, her father pointed out two paths to her.

Who knew his daughter better than he? He wouldn’t cage her soaring spirit—he gave her the choice.

One path: graduate, return home, marry Li Ye, and live a quiet, steady life.

The other: soar like an eagle, break free from the cage, fly freely across the sky—and never return.

Already burdened by shame and repression from their mismatched status, Lu Jingyao chose the latter.

Her father silently agreed, went to break off the engagement, and bore all the blame.

When Lu Jingyao left Qinghe County, she felt she’d finally escaped a sea of suffering.

So why, at university, was she caught in another cycle?

And this Qian Shun—how much more repulsive than Li Ye?